gone

It's another black day in my life, one of many you might say, but this one is different.
As you know, I have been working with this cool chick for the last year or so.
Actually she worked for me and that's where the problem lay.

There are few women more attractive then this one (Atleast where I live and work), when I say attractive I am not just talking about goodlooking (Which she DEFINETLY was) but also smart, funny and nice.
One of those women that when she comes into a room and is in a good mood can light up the room. (Flashback, I think I have mentioned that before...I'm too lazy to look for that rant though and don't really feel like it)
When she was in a bad mood (Meaning, when you pissed her off), she can also be very nasty....she's got character...This all makes her attractive.

I have a policy that I will never date somebody that works for me, and therefor I never will. I have done so once and it leads to A LOT of hassle. this one however made me doubt my own policy and that doesn't happen often.
It also had to do with the fact that I am a lousy chickenshit son of a bitch but there's nothing I can do about that..My "pulling" (Yes, that's what it's called with the cool people in this third rate country) skills are negligable.

Anyway, like many others, she is now gone and it kinda makes me wonder.."Should I have...??" Problably not but then again..why not?
Will this be love lost or would this have been friendship (She might have worked for me, but you can be friends with the people you work with...nothing wrong with that) fucked up? We hung out and that was cool..we could talk for hours straight without the conversation getting boring, we could sit silent and it was not uncomfortable. I don't have that with many people, let alone with women. And especially not with the women I am forced into labour with, they are morons and couldn't have a conversation with a Talkshowhost. (And we all know they aren't the brightest people in the world).

I thought about telling her before she left but decided against it..."Why tell if it really can only fuck things up, afterall she is leaving..nothing to do about that"
I think I made the right choice...Yeah, I am quite sure about it...I guess.

She asked me to keep in touch and to come see her, but then again..everybody always says they'll keep in touch and noone ever does. That's just the way it is.

I will see her one last time this week and, as soo many times over the past year, I won't say a thing...We will part as friends and never see eachother again. And that's just the way it is.