| My JouRNaL |
| 6/11/02 Still stuck at home like a caged animal, however yesterday's fears have gone down to a managable level. Yes, I do know that I am irrational, paranoid and oversensitive. I have issues. Please deal. Oh, I'm not planning on updating this journal frequently. I am going to have a live journal (Yea for Betsy!!) that will replace this one. mood: blah, ok, ,so-so music: "It's All Because" Smash Palace 6/10/02 AAARG!! Sometimes I just HATE being me. Just when I thought I had really close, really good friends something happens that makes me question what they actually think of me. It doesn't take much: no response to my emails or IMs, throwing a party where I wasn't invited, etc. I feel like I'm in a cage far away and I'm desperately trying to get out, reaching for people who could help me, but no matter how far extended my hand is, they're not grabbing it. Don't they see it? Or do they just not care? Is my dog my only friend or am I just being paranoid? I HATE Haddon Township. I HATE not being able to escape my house. I HATE feeling like there is nowhere I could escape to. Even my 15 year old brother has a job. Not me. No, I am too unpersonable, too cold to even work in a video store for more than one week. What is wrong with me? Why am I so unlovable? mood: lonely, unloved, depressed music: "Dilate" Ani DiFranco |
 |