Wedding Ceremony

In the name of the Sangha of the monastery I would like to congratulate both of you on this special occasion. It is an occasion of joy for all the people concerned. It is the way of the world that when people fall in love with each other, they will naturally marry in order to start a new life, a new family. And it is an important to note that when we start a new life or a new family, we should know what it will involve. Naturally when two people are married, there is mutual responsibility and obligation. These responsibility and obligation are not the concerns of only one person. They are to be mutually responsible and obliged. Both of you cannot act or do in the same way that you have been doing before being married.

For now you have decided to take someone into your life and both of you wish to be partners of each other for life it is advisable that you should know that the married life is not a slight responsibility.

In fact before marrying a couple should take various things into consideration. Once we make a decision, that is our responsibility. If we do not take marriage seriously, we are bound to get into problem later. And the problem that involved both of you can be quite complicated.

In his teaching the Buddha gave virtues specially for the people who lead a married life. This is called the “Four Virtues of a Householder”. Though the name is a bit too long. But we can discuss a little bit about what the Buddha has said, for you own sake, so to say.

The first virtue is Truthfulness. The Buddha said that if a couple is to lead a happy family life, they must be truthful and sincere to one another. What it means is that we must be frank and open minded to on another. We must share our thinking, feeling, and emotion with the others. Between the two people it someone is not truthful to the other, that will bring marriage to an end. So truthfulness is a very important factor. When we take failed married life of some other people as examples, we will find that untruthfulness and unfaithfulness between the couples have been the main cause. Therefore you should maintain truthfulness. As long as there is mutual love between both of you, it will not be difficult to practice truthfulness. If you have this mutual love, it is easier to cultivate truthfulness. This is the first virtue.

The second virtue is Adjustment. When people are living together, they have to adjust themselves. Sometimes they come from different cultures. If they do not know how to adjust themselves, then the married life is going to fail. Why? This is because you cannot behave the way that you have been doing. You cannot act without paying any regard or consideration for the other person. You have to adjust yourself to the need of the other person. One person cannot keep adjusting all the time. So adjustment must be mutual.

The third virtue is Forbearance. there are no other circumstances in human situation that demand greater forbearance than in the married life. So please deep in mind that we must cultivate this virtue, having forbearance, if you are angry or if you are annoyed with the behavior of your spouse, just think of the good deed that the other person has done to you in the past. This will help you to come to know with the practice of the forbearance. Thinking of the moment of happiness that you have shared with your partner of your spouse will help.

The fourth virtue is Generosity. The word “generosity” is a tentative translation. It is translated from a Pali word “Caga”. Generosity does not only mean that you have to be generous to your spouse or to the relatives of your spouse. But it also means the giving up of you shortcoming or your bad habit.

In conclusion we do appreciate your coming to the centre on this special occasion. In my opinion it will be so auspicious if both of you will bear in mind the teaching of the Buddha and put it into practice. I am sure your married life will be a successful one. To be frank the monks blessing for your marriage will yield no result unless your practice the teaching of the Buddha as instructed. I am sure that your married life will be a happy and joyful one. It will last forever.

So the most important thing that I would like to remind both of you, is that we must lead our lives according to the teaching of the Buddha. To congratulate you and to wish you all the best, my companions and I will bless you both in the paliverses.

We wish you happiness and joy. We wish you prosperity. We wish all the good things what you desired will be obtained. And significantly we wish you a very successful married life for years to come. May you be blessed with the virtues of the Triple Gem.