K.
when you took my hand
and our eyes met
i didn't know
how it had happened
you talked like someone
who had been around
too long the gleam of
your leather jacket
from the moonlight in
the photograph
made me cry you
promised me to
always stay around
as i pulled a strand
of hair from your face
and stared at your mouth
your jaw i never
knew what to say
even then my dreams
had become headaches
you always smiled
and said you wanted
nothing but to
help me change your
smile was beautiful
it spoke novels
i should've known
you'd look away
Lux
lying on the field at night
a sheet of stars above us
melts into the sky
among the clouds the moon moves
in and out and in again
disappearing it lulls us
to rest with no blanket
below or between us
nothing to separate
her skin from brushing into mine
to pretend we are
who we once were in
the beginning when
we were younger then
i imagine the night sings
sometimes it still lulls me to sleep
leaving me full inside and it knows
you always were the
lucky one the beautiful
Another Love Song
with your thoughts in mindlessness
this is the blood that you make on me
and i would just like to say
lastly i do hate your love
it burns me to nothing and your
perfect eyes awake me alive
to yet another morning
of depression and love songs
which i write for no one
Blue Velvet
(she's depressed with fishnet
crossed over blue velvet
repressed and deprived)
why are you crying
why are you quiet
he'll never know which way
you go left or right
keep yourself away
for now or never
forever did you
feel him running away
through wind and rain did you
forget to stay too late
to her he's driven
in mind she's trying
to lie but (under
blue velvet and fishnet)
you don't know why you still
see him in black & white
in your mind in your dreams
every night colours
sigh to stay awake
but you're already paid
so there's no need to lie
now no need to stay
in the light of the moon
to the left of his room
you stand and you leave
To Sleep
keeping myself farther away,
i dream of empty sheets and rain;
in every night, each day
i awake to a torn
apart smile aside from
the mirror, i sigh while i dream
that i sing him to sleep.
The Story Way
All the good pretty boys
Have found their
Long-haired beauties
The story way
With teeth like German soap
And skin like porcelain
They're staying
At the longshore inn
And I missed out
Somewhere along the line
With my yellow ribbons
In the song I never wrote
My hair's been chopped
Long ago and my teeth
Are fading crooked
It's never going to start
She already has him
Under her sailboat
Felt
with your hand in mine
and your mind in me
and when the glimmer is gone
there will still be our dream
everything that follows
but when you touched me
it felt like tomorrow
Smoke
across the room a purple haze
of smoke set in and i wanted
to touch your cigarette coloured skin
(how it stood out so well) i wanted
to kiss your guitarist hands
but i couldn't instead
something was in the way so
i wrote of love in bed today
To His Daughter
you were meant to know
your father
little winged one and
if the lady in
the kitchen
tries to hide his pictures
you can always see
the magazines, don't be
afraid of
what you are turned out
to be, of what you are
little singing bean
he's watching you through
everything
Queen Tori
Fake glimmer on
My fingerprints
And a pocketbook
Attached to me today
In a sense I've felt
The world through you
I've felt beauty
Wrapped up inside
A parachute
That makes me living
Eating cobwebs but
Hardly breathing
Through my fingers
I always wanted
To shine like you
In a pink sort
Of dress up way
Flying naked in
The daylight streets
Through the galaxy
(never crying
never crying)
Without Peter I figured
You'd feel so ashamed
But you live even
Better today - with such grace
Always learning to
Grow and to change
While still thanking
The beginnings
Of windows and faeries
That flew you over
The swamp and
Into the story
Pisces Dream
what else could i be you pisces
dream only once in a night with
your speaking is not enough for me
not enough for this life machine
i wanna drink the blood you've made
the name you've paved over cement
in tears without it let us take
your footsteps followed into me
don't wanna have to scream your name
over and over again
only whispering in pain
draining in over me now
have us die in vain and grief
doesn't matter really-i'm just
a dame and around me
i wanna wear your voice now
surrounding us and given a choice
(it never wore me out
could never wear me out)
what else could i be your kindred
being can change this name
to jane chloe frances nancy
whatever you'd have of me if
you'd only have me to take us
dancing lifelessly
in a riverless dream tied to
the stars inseparabley
would their moon miss the bleeding
that's not buried in the reeds
for now but in a fantasy
of your hands covering us
together you and i could grow
vines of lust coming into
each other coming into us
what else could it be,
i hear you speaking in a dream
Left
after you left sister there was no hope
for another tomorrow it left with
your bones and i couldn't keep on so
i dragged down the road with the people
in my head yelling at me i couldn't
run or have one instead carry me
there was no one i was weak and cold
so i dragged down the road with my bread crust
and books with the dried flowers between and
took the bus to the river after
you left without hope sister i lied
and meant to say hello to the water
and drown in my horror like alice
almost did in one of my books before
but then these men gathered me up on
the bank and told me never to swim
so low again i still had no hope
sister and it seemed that the river
wanted no piece left of me well
i couldn't leave so i took up my bones
and the men in my head turned
around with no hope i left for
tomorrow and went down the road
Mother
O Nature's aged face of a mother,
I cry to the stars that will not watch
Over this small (almost of no worth)
Kind of world with its heart that is
Bleeding in the buried earthquake
Of matters all but kept quiet.
And will the distance keep
These pieces it has hidden through
The ending of each island, and
All of the shipwrecks that will have no
Meaning. And will every scream here
Be granted its time and its page, for
Tomorrow's day is death's way of
Breathing closer to these faces that
May not ever be able to change
(Nature your face has grown kind please
Hear these cries of all wonders and send
Years to the ending chapter of me).
More Like A Star
more like a star from many
years ago so far she strides
from place to place with a
kind of grace that unknowingly
emulates Audrey Hepburn
she is the queen
she is the leading lady
she steals any rooms she comes through
and burns them her skin glows like
lightning a real kind of light
she goes where she might please and
walks like a parade walking with
the trees she'll never fade and
the mirror smiles and speaks to her
from the river she doesn't care
she never falls or falters
the wind plays with her hair
she is the spring
the early morning
she is the fairest of them all
she comes alive (it's in her eyes)
when anyone may call
she is the queen
more like a star
she is the all in all
Cut
Out of the softness, I speak,
Looked upon as an instrument
(This woman holds her voice over
the quiet; holds death as well,
as well as she may hide it).
The muses will not have it
In any way, but they have
Asked pieces of me to four times
A day -- once for each limb as
I lie remained to the side and
They took three more when a dream
Rippled over me in my brain
(Once for each limb, she said).
This voice has no hands, no legs, really;
In the walking crowd, it stands,
Immobile. And trodding by,
The years pass while I count as
A child in my head (three, four, five).
I am aching now and I lie
Only to a man who
Claims to see the ending.
What ending is this where I die;
Out of hardness, I think,
I am a child, and I cry.
Behind (Watching and Waiting)
from behind i watch
and wait for the
beginning of
winter and trouble
and love i wait
for the coming true
of summer i tie
myself down in
the name of you till
the children come in
come out too soon
from underground
i watch for you
i wait for you while
others spring forth
lovers and angels
and mothers i sleep
in torn sheets with
thoughts of your eyes
arms hair teeth standing
still from the mirror
boiling me i take
in the world of
your words to my mind
till one day you
appear and the
sun sets behind
A Little Boy Named Charlie Brown
this is a poem
about a little boy
named charlie brown
he had a head that was
shaped round and a
funny beagle
dog named snoopy
now this boy charlie brown
had a younger sister
named sally who
hung around with his crowd
of pals like linus and lucy
charlie brown was
sort of clumsy in life
never able to fly a kite
or play one thing
of football right
but his crowd still
hung around and
loved him anyway
this is a poem made
to remember a little
round-headed boy
named charlie brown
his father died the other day
so now he doesn't
come out to play
but charlie brown was
as real as ice cream
and we love him anyway
Died In April
She died in April
Watching the sea
She never got to know
The morning I suppose
In May
Inside of her
She likes the rain
But I'm learning that
She'll never see it again
I'm sick of your laughter
And I'm sick of your grins
You know that
With the roll
Of my grey slumber
And my raincoat
That keeps falling over
And over
She's unable
To keep me happy
Anymore
And those girls
In the club of mine
Years ago
Fell down the hill
So fast
But not like this
She's starting to fly
All over again
And again
In my head
I tossed my childhood
Blinking blanket
Out the window for good
And I wish I could've
Worried more
Because she never got to know
The morning I suppose
And my Ewok doll
It could never do
The dance she showed me
Even when I tried
To follow it through
In my dim room
And I can't help
But wonder
If she meant
To disappear
For a life
But not bring me
Along for the ride
And umbrellas
With black roses
And blue ties
Have never been so sad
As I for missing
The ride
She died in April
Not in May
While watching the sea
And she's starting to fly again
And again
She's starting to fly through me
Sad-eyed Boy
I used
to see you
on the throne
held above
my home on
a hill with
no love
in a living
snowfilled country
sad-eyed boy
you steal the
heart and marrow
left with me
Could Come
Inside the green
Bottle of her
I wish it were
Cold again
The sleet could come
With you in hand
And all those letters
I never gave him
Undone At 5.57
White is black here
And I've been
Under the table
For years
Joe I never knew you
Or those anthills
You never showed me
The lighthouse
Out in the midnight moon
Buddy buddy buddy
I could be
Pregnant at 13
But he never cared for me
So I'll blow it
All away right here
Joe I never got to
Inside Out
Dwight in love
Woke up at 6 am
Heard the church bells
Started to run
Stains
Are dripping
Down the bus stop sign
In Baltimore
Heard the lad
Could find
Anything in hiding
Even daddy's little girl
Next to fifteen
She's falling
For twenty-one
He's a shaman
And he knows
Inside out
That all liberty stands for these days
Is a statue and a crack
But he can still run
Never lost his gift
And he heard her say to him
Through a stained glass window
"Whatever times you are hated
I wish I could be loved like you"
Sheer manifestation
She thinks that maybe
Dwight's real
She always knew
There's too much lust
But maybe
He could help her feel
Hearing the church bells
Heard the school bus
Daddy always wanted her godly
Inside out
Now she knows
That not even an earthquake
Could make him feel more
Heard the lad
Could find
Anything in hiding
And I heard the lad
Found her
Inside out
As Stars Do
crossed to the moon beyond
the sight of planets
it happens that love wouldn't
strike time as stars do
Adore
I looked down
Not completely
Aware of this
Blue beauty god
I wish I could
Be complete and
Take some sadness
Out of you
My perfection
(not true or
in the mirror)
Was always you
Moon of a Papa
Sending some old
Posies for her lost
Moon of a papa
Please let there
Be more than
What I can't breathe
Watch over me
When I grow
These kind knees
Left Soldiers
Devils of this
Glazing heat
Two hundred years
No movement has
Come over them
Go to where
Your axe will fall
In the city
So far from
The shade of dark
Be washed and
Buried tall
Passing Winter
Clear me of your
Wings that I don't
Like to see as much
Anymore you god
Can you hear me
I'm still like all
The things we used
To create with our
Laughter buddies
As I see you fast
With all the lives
In your hand and I
Know it's not me
Anymore that you think of
I have trouble seeing
But I knew from the start
That it was coming
Under the hills
Can you hear me
Anymore
Delilah
Sunken child with
A woman who
Tried to cut me off
And dye the token
Broken eggshells
Of this mindless
Love of mine
She knows she can
Break my pretty
Cousin's back
With no need
Of hiding here
And she's sure his hair
Was shaved by her
But don't cry
Little voice of mine
I know I'll be
Able to
Find him there
Page of Life
how could the page
of life come through
and lock me out so
far from the man
born on a hill
shut out and away
from the loudness
life craves each day
and now i've been
here left with nothing
but pocket change
and a number
that goes nowhere
Growth (I)
Curly Sue changed her name
(in spite of the spoons)
To Susan today
And we always knew
The way she wanted
Either indigo or blue
On her birthday cake
As she looked
For a pathway to
The red crossover
Window of fat spiders
And beautiful groupies
Growth (II)
From out of the shadows and
Corners of dust (with nothing
but people) she will hear every
Word spoken for each day
That has drowned but when
The wave starts to rise
At the most given time
The abilities she
Had in her life are falling
From the past that is not
Carried onto her mind
Anymore with its' window's
Eyes that will no longer
Shine - but she learns in the end
And Susan still cries
Sad Boy
it happens to him
with all the circles
of girls that
are not kept in
a fortune teller's ball
and six always knew
him (a honeychild sad boy)
who doesn't come to the end
when the chariots
fall under roses please
go and tell him
To Love: A Sonnet
Dear lover, I pray, to you I succumb
The fullness of this silence I possess,
And all of my torment which feels me numb.
These dark hours have no need for your caress.
I felt years go by within our presence;
Although it was just months, unraveling.
Thoughts of us when were in existence;
Never assumed that it would be ending.
Within my heart, love, there lies a promise,
Hidden greatly since our last engagement.
All of my self, I do swear to on this;
Venus has killed what she earlier sent.
Dear lover, this promise to keep will last;
To never love as I have in the past.
Sweet Pea
The villagers found your
Pieces scattered all
Over the streets
My sweet pea
Being prey to them
Was never quite easy
The birds here are more
Different than in her
Galveston and your
Pink won't stop fading
From the house that
Was yours in
The crying hours
I go looking for you
In the pear tree
That we never climbed
Again since the years
Ran by with John and
Your faces that always
Loved to go and change
My sweet pea
Crush
love must miss being around the overtime with fingers touching other men and women--why not me? without love i can't feel you, i can't even see the sea. there's no point in me being me without you and no point in caring to carry on because you are the piece inside me missing. i am nothing without those eyes. from the first time i saw them i knew i had nothing to fight with. the love made me defenseless. i hardly even knew it. my thoughts were gone and it was then that i had to learn how to breathe again because breathing seemed so useless to me without you--i deemed life such a shallow thing to do. and love has forced me to crawl into a hole, there's no way to be without you but living in a tomb below. (and this is not a broken heart, but more like a broken soul) to live on without your love touching me, i am nothing.
Fair Stolen
I found you far
Fair stolen
Off in London
Yet not crying
Tears on a jewel
But on your pillow
The beauty has
Been stabbed through
And though stolen
The boys have come
Over restless eyes
Fine for the moment
They fell through the
Earth
Fair stolen
Your cousin's mouth
Never touched these
Small hands of mine
Look back for nothing
And whatever
That strikes you
Keeps you alive
Falling stolen
Just know it's your drive
That keeps you so far
From these small hands
Put me up In October
Far from London
Deep inside the sand
That is melting by
Die inside me
Fair stolen
I found you far
Off in London
Into You
This sleep in my heart
Is spelling your name
Fragile angel child
(been looking like
sunlight to me)
-Every day year
sentence-I want to
Crawl out of the green
Violets and hide
With your incense
Under your skin
It must feel much
More lovely than
Waking up next to
Buried sea children
These days when I'm
Walking the sad clown
Allies and seeing
Your face when
You are not there
(can hurt me more than
dead dream catchers)
From another room
It's like the song that
Never loves to come
All the way over
To Washington
But I want to crawl
-Every day year
sentence-into you
A Boy Named Wade
at about the same time
when they pushed you over the hill
(with
anything
you
held -
they
never
cared)
the world came to know itself
and all of the wars from then on
and i once knew a boy named wade
at the time he was just
like you reminding me
of a river of birds
(well where do they go when it rains?)
and this drop of a boy
he told me i wrote strange
with a smile since then these days
i haven't been able to find you
but i tell all my friends
that you dress so well
how good you are
even my mother (and yes
i still hate her) she says
that you'll blossom and
i know it's too late
such inspiration
you've become in the rain
from the back of my book
i'm in love every day
with the coldness and i
know she cut your hair
so much shorter but
say if only i could
write like you since last summer
has passed on and away
and now am i dead
but it doesn't matter
as much anyway
my lovely samson suede
(good dresser) drop of a wade
Happy Without The Garden Outside
from the state of a face that
(seems like a man)
killed my flying rocking chair
today leave me with your bones
boy leave the door open
and don't try to tell me of
the garden outside (you say
winter is running
and coming around)
stay outside with the children
of venus and try not to fly
# 3
Was I number three when I fell through the floor in a dream (try not to wake me with your accent breeze for I am not here in this head to be waking) touching wax rose blooms running through the ocean as though I am freed from the web rocks wailing like a banshee--was I really number three loving the month of February but not the fourteenth not your body coating me in a dream and not of me falling still I found your pages written over me when I fell through at number three
Death Of A Ladybug
What's wrong, pretty thing?
Can't you see
Living the dream
Of a magazine
And I know this won't
Turn out as I
Would want it to be
Not your typical
Happy ending
You far off woman
That's there for all
You hot beginning
Without an ending
You're taking calls
What's wrong, pretty thing?
There on her wall
She's never that seeing
Grown up happily
You'll miss shaking
You'll miss the king
He owns the moon which
He'll surely give to
In good time dear
Oh dear you're bleeding
Happy ending
Made with the stirring
Silk flies in your grave
With you laughing
With your children
What's wrong, pretty thing?
Can't you breathe
It's daytime here
Not down in your creek
With daddy hiding
They always said
You weren't his grieving
You weren't much needing
Happy ending
Now take your baby
The missing child
Bury your body
Make it your grieving
It's your ending
Pretty thing
Dive
Day by day I'll rip
Your parachute cord
And you'll tear yourself
Into my body
(for the worth of it all)
Running through the church
Pews let's try not to
Listen--for Sunday
Is coming and still
(invading our waters)
Day by day she'll tear
Into your body and
Beneath sewed wings it's
Easy to hide her
(for the worth of it all)
Still continuing
The bottled screams will
Rip through your skin and
Your parachute cord
Will not save you now
Till you tear yourself
Small Heart: A Song For Stormy
Soft
Tortoiseshell
No more pain
Dream machine
Not today
Please tell me
Why couldn't you come
Out okay
I never got to
Finish you
The tall men
Took my waiting room
From the house
Never asked
Never got to
Sweet green eyes
Can you see me through
The monster
I knew it
Took a deep
Hold on you
Too beautiful to
Keep so long
I knew
I never got to
Finish you
Not today
The house has
Never been so blue
But go earn some wings
Near by me
That are right for you
Sweet green eyes
Can you see me through
Here
Can you feel it
Someone get me out of here
This boiled box
This plastic bubble
I've been trapped
In longer than you
Would think of me
Or any of them
Did you know
Her name
Did you know it wasn't
As pretty as she let on
I never felt so
So someone get me out of here
Maybe i'm eve
Maybe i pretend
Maybe in the long run
Only i'm getting there
All the way to me
Maybe i'm eve
But it's a shame
Because i can't
Get to crimea
No matter how i try
Someone get me out of here
Did you know
I'm still in hiding
Under her chest
Of carvings
The night has
Stopped searching
There's no sign of a slit
Anywhere in me
And i still can't
Get to crimea
Even with her
Eyeliner fake smile
The boys stopped
Throwing sand at me
Long ago you know
But i still can't ever
Get anywhere
Someone get me out of here
Maybe i'm cured but
She feels that i'll never
Get to crimea
In my boiled box
Of virgins
So maybe i'm burning
Still in heaven
Get me a ride
Away from all this
You know lovey
She tried to kill me
I've stopped dancing
Can you feel it
Anymore
Someone get me out of here
Calm
calm
in my dreams
may this be
another
day
in my jeans
i found him
first and when
he
says goodbye
i'll have to
leave
Draw The Stars
May you always
Love rapidly
Dwell in girls
Frolicing beneath
The sea and
(In harmony)
May you never
Wake from dreams
End
at the end of the page you could
view the little babes in a jar
hiding out far from the end
of a lady well she was
pretty without knowing
knowing more than i
could throw too high
too high at the end
of the luna note you could
not see her simply
leaving me dry
(flying high over the
abandoned space
her face slips out of mind)
at the end of the page
i still haven't found you
coming into mine
In
In the lightness of the window
He opened his eyes and attached
Love of tender surprise into her
Where there is no later and
Two seconds high is all it takes
To make it better love once
Upon a time she could find a way
Through the damp river without
Bread crumbs to follow behind
Yes she held to her pockets like
A child without tomorrow on hand
And never once cried for him
To understand she wanted to
Be deep below the window air
(when he was home to her) I say
Without the microphone underneath
The glow of his skin for trouble
Instead we're flying right in
Eleven Months
since you've gone running
on eleven months
past then i have seen
the worlds you've rented
in your left hand which
you never used much
alive sleeping in
the window line and
for now i sing
lay my head down
watching stars that may
never fall or bring
love shooting but
in the end are made
within you and
my everlasting
dream of us since
eleven months
have passed through
life and purple skies
to bring us
together in time
Touch Me With His Name
touch me with his name
against the ruins
against the summer
though fall is coming
through soon he spoke
to me a word now
mother I can't feel her
anymore but he
could be the sky if
he even cared to
he could be the roses
buried under bloom
he could be my front door
oh mother he could
be the daytime
afternoon and maybe
he could be the
horizon, the ending
that I'm running to
the most beautiful
love thing ever spoken
to me mother he is
love and all that is new
touch me with his
blood-dyed poison
again to help me
fly against the moon
against this fall that
is coming through
the rain mother
touch me with his name
Cummings
another one beating drum
from the hall in your room.
another one picked as a poem,
while you grew a flower and
a man inside. lingering on
you aged more than any one
of those old poet men (for wings
broken down in the road).
missing in the snow, without
a coat you caught a cold
and a poem in your hand
of rome- long, strong & fine.
another one following
your back into mind. inside
your head, now sleeping while
you dream in line, load by load,
growing with poems and time.