Angel gazed worriedly at his love.

 

Her eyes wide, her mouth opened, then closed, then opened again but no sound emitted.

 

She’d been that way for more than ten minutes.

 

“Baby?” he asked softly. “Are you alright?”

 

“I…” Buffy managed before her mind shutdown once more. Shaking her head to try to get rid of the bats that had obviously taken over her belfry she tried again. “He’s your son you mean,” she said in mild confusion.

 

“No he’s our son… as in yours and mine,” Angel clarified.

 

Buffy stared at him again, her eyes glazing over for a moment before she shook her head once more. “And how is that possible? He’s like twenty… did I have him when I was three?!”

 

“No…” he said, rubbing her back in circles attempting to get her to calm once more. “You said you remembered that day… the day that was erased…?”

 

“Yeah what’s that… oh my god…” her eyes widened even further in comprehension before she slumped.

 

“If I had stayed human, if I hadn’t had the Oracles turn the day back you would have ended up pregnant from that day… we didn’t use anything remember?”

 

Buffy closed her eyes as she leaned her forehead against his shoulder slumping. She did remember that. When she’d remembered that day she’d been amazed at their stupidity but then she’d been flooded with images of what their child would like.

 

He’d have Angel’s hair of course; his good looks… and he’d have her eyes.

 

She’d always imagined that their first child would be a boy. In her deepest, most hidden fantasies. Before she had slept with him that’s what she’d imagined. Her dreams every night had been filled with a happy family.

 

Her and Angel and their two kids.

 

One boy, the elder of course and one girl… because she would never have her children bear the hardship of being an only child.

 

She remembered loving those dreams of her happy little family.

 

Even finding that everything she’d ever read in books was true and vampires couldn’t have kids hadn’t deterred that fantasy and those dreams.

 

Even Angel losing his soul after they’d slept together that first time hadn’t deterred her.

 

They’d found ways around prophecies time and again. She was living proof of that. She couldn’t count how many times it had been prophesized that she would die.

 

If she was still among the living after all those prophecies then they could most definitely find a way around the ‘vampire’s not able to have children’ thing.

 

She’d just known that they would be the first case of a Slayer and a Vampire having a child together.

 

She’d been so foolishly optimistic back then.

 

“How…?” she frowned as she cleared her throat, her voice coming out slightly higher pitched and freakish than normal. “So how do we have a child together then? If the Oracles erased the day how is Connor in my house right now?!”

 

“I’m not sure exactly… with the Oracles being dead they can’t really tell me but from what Giles has been able to figure out when I asked to have the day erased the Oracles knew that I hadn’t gotten your agreement. So when they did it, the consequences of it fell on my shoulder. When I slept with Darla,” he said quietly looking over at his love’s wide open eyes. She knew about that… he’d told her about it when he’d gone to her when Joyce had died. She hadn’t been pleased that he had fallen so far and not once tried to call her for help…for support. “The powers used that incident to move Connor back to our reality, Darla became pregnant.”

 

“Darla?! Darla is the mother of my child?!” Buffy screeched as she tried to struggle to her feet, Angel’s arms wrapped tightly around her at her first movement, hindering that intent as he fought to keep her in place on his lap. There were quite a few trees in the garden, with Buffy’s strength and anger he wouldn’t put it past her to snap a branch off and stake him immediately. Of course he’d known that she wouldn’t be pleased about the Darla thing.

 

“You are Connor’s biological mother; Darla is just… well she was like a surrogate.”

 

“And where is Darla now?” Buffy muttered crossing her arms over his chest.

 

“While she was carrying Connor she ended up being infected by his soul. When she went into labor things went badly… to save Connor she staked herself. She sacrificed herself to save our son.”

 

Buffy scowled as she felt some of the hatred she felt towards the blonde vampiress that slightly. “So how is Connor 20 now? Shouldn’t he be about three?”

 

“There was a prophecy…” Angel looked away. Staring out at the sky line as he tried to keep his thoughts level headed.

 

Buffy trusted Wesley… and even towards the end Angel had begun on the path to forgiving the ex-Watcher.

 

“You don’t have to beat around the bush Angel… I know that Wes was involved somehow.”

 

“How?”

 

“He was chosen to be one of our Watchers because he had no links to a past… no friends, no family… you would only have cut him off for one reason,” Buffy murmured as she touched his cheek gently. “He’s not the same person you knew back then… he’s not even the same person that I knew back then.”

 

“I know…” he leaned into her touch for a moment, then she leaned forward resting her forehead against his.

 

“Go on with your story…”

 

“There was a prophecy… it was planted and fake but Wesley didn’t know that at the time. It said that I would kill him, that I would kill my own son and Wesley believed it, kidnapped him. I guess he thought he was protecting him from me. But things went wrong, he was betrayed, had his throat slit and Connor was kidnapped by Holtz, taken and raised in a demon dimension.”

 

Angel stopped then. The pain of that time threatening once more to consume him as he remembered the despair that he’d felt. The worry.

 

The hatred.

 

He’d hated Wesley then. Hated him with everything he had and everything he was.

 

The feel of Buffy’s lips on his forehead drew him back to the present. The feel of her little hands, one stroking his hair gently the other massaging the muscles in his shoulder that he hadn’t even realized were tensed and tight. Lending him quiet strength and understanding he held her to him.

 

“When he came back he was 17… and he hated me. Despised me… Holtz had taught him that and nothing I said; nothing any of us said could get through to him. Holtz had himself murdered, made it look like I had done it and Connor leapt at the opportunity to take vengeance. He had me imprisoned in a crate, threw me in the ocean and left me there… to die.”

 

“I remember that,” Buffy whispered her lips moving against his forehead. “I remember when they found you… I knew that you were in horrible shape. I could feel the pain you were in. I wanted to come to you but when I called Gunn told me not to. Told me that you had moved on, I wasn’t needed.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” Angel mumbled. “If I could change all that things that happened with Cordy I would…”

“I know...” closing her eyes she tried to force the tears that were threatening to spill back. They’d both moved on.

 

Of course it was nitpicking to point out that he’d moved on months before she had.

 

She’d wanted to come to him, had been turned away… told to stay away and after months of feeling as low as dirt she’d let herself be drawn once more into a semi-relationship with Spike.

 

Totally non-sexual they had become sort of friends. Spike helping her deal with the loss of Angel just when she had realized that she loved him still, Buffy helping Spike learn to live with the soul he had ‘won’ during his trials.

 

For once in his unlife Spike hadn’t thrown what or who Angel was currently doing in her face. Possibly knowing that he was skating thin ice as it was and comments like that would get him banned once more from Buffy’s life.

 

Of course he might have just realized that the Slayer was in enough pain thinking of Angel, her Angel with Cordelia.

 

It got doubly worse when she learned how Xander really felt about Angel’s seer.

 

She remembered that day so clearly.

 

By then she’d already found out about Angel’s captivity and freedom. Found out from Gunn of all people that Angel and Cordelia were together with the curse that had kept them apart somehow not being an issue between the vampire and his seer.

 

It had taken her a week to get up the nerve to call back and find out what was up with his soul.

 

A week of wondering if Cordy could really give Angel perfect happiness and free Angelus.

 

A week of not sleeping as she wondered if Angelus was going to murder them all in their beds. When Angelus didn’t show she had to wonder why Angel would stay with Cordy if they weren’t ‘perfectly happy’ together.

 

A week of wondering if she had misjudged him that badly and sex had really been that important to him.

 

Because why else would he be with the former cheerleader if she couldn’t make him happy? It had never even occurred to her that his soul might be bound. That he might actually have chosen Cordelia over her.

 

When she finally broke down and called, a fleeting thought as the phone rang had raced through her mind. Maybe the Sunnydale group, maybe she was no longer important enough for him to kill.

 

Of course when the found had been picked up she wished that she’d remained clueless, especially once she’d found out the truth.

 

His soul was bound. He was with Cordy, they were in ‘love’ and happy and she was never to call again unless there was an apocalypse that she couldn’t handle.

 

All that directly from a triumphant sounding Cordelia.

 

She’d been in a deep depression, crying for days before the others had figured out what was going on.

 

Xander and Spike had both been in agreement.

 

They had both wanted to go stake him immediately.

 

She’d known that most of Xander’s anger came from the fact that Angel was moving on with his ex.

 

An ex he was still in love with.

 

And she’d known most of Spike’s came from his still rampant grandsire issues. Most of which centered around Dru.

 

Who he was also still in love with.

 

Then there had been Dawn who was so furious that she wanted to call Angel right back and force him to explain himself.

 

She’d always considered Angel a big brother of sorts and probably in her teen-age mind had thought that eventually he would return to Sunnydale and Buffy.

 

But he hadn’t, life had moved on for him where it seemed the Slayer was still standing in the same spot she’d been when he’d left.

 

Alone.

 

That day it had been Xander’s turn to cheer her up. Willow and Giles had returned to London after Will’d had a magickal addiction relapse. Dawn had been in school and Spike had been hiding underground trying to come to some sort of understanding with his soul.

 

The two of them had been flipping through old photo albums for some ungodly reason and she’d come to one of him and Cordy from the beginning of their senior year.

 

Before he and Willow had kissed thereby shattering both Cordy and Oz’s hearts.

 

She didn’t even remember how they’d gotten on the topic. But once she had admitted that she still loved Angel he’d stated in a quiet, barely audible voice that he still loved Cordelia.

 

“Xander still loved her you know,” Buffy murmured softly. “That was one of the reasons why Anya struck so hard when she did… she was so angry that Xander was still in love with Cordy. If she’d had enough time, if Xander had gone anywhere near LA, if Cordy had even attempted to reciprocate his feelings she would have killed her. So it was probably a good thing that you guys were under that spell.”

 

“Your deaths broke it you know,” Angel pulled away his eyes meeting hers steadily as he wiped away the tears that were falling. “The moment we heard that the two of you were dead it broke and it took us quite a while after that to get back our friendship. We still don’t know who cast it.”

 

“Wofram and Hart,” Buffy muttered absently. “Damn lawyers… what?” she asked as she saw Angel staring at her in disbelief.

 

“How…?”

 

“How’d I know?” she sighed laying her head on his shoulder once more. “Whistler is always just a fount of information if you can decrypt him.”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

Dawn and Connor peered through the window staring at the couple who sat on the bench. Actually Angel sat on the bench and Buffy perched in his lap but they were sitting together.

 

They’d winced simultaneously as they’d heard Buffy’s voice rise and waited for the inevitable moment when they were going to have to go out and drag the former Slayer off the souled vampire.

 

But voices had lowered and they seemed to be talking quietly, holding each other and with a sigh of relief they backed away.

 

“She hasn’t staked him yet I presume?” Giles startled them both as he spoke. Standing in the doorway he watched the two youngsters press hands to their chests, guilty expressions on their faces as they realized they had been caught spying.

 

“No,” Dawn shook her head exchanging a look with Connor she shrugged and moved over to the couch.

 

“Has he told her yet?”

 

“That she has a son? I’m going to say yes; unless there was some other reason they were talking about Darla.”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

“Are you really angry that Darla was the one who carried him?” Angel asked softly as he gently ran his hands up and down her arms. They had shifted positions, moving onto the ground, Angel leaned back against the bench Buffy sitting between his legs. “I mean I thought that you might be glad that you didn’t have to actually go through the pregnancy… you know the mood swings, the weight gain, the cravings…”

 

Buffy sighed settling her head back into the crook of his neck she closed her eyes as she felt his lips brush her temple. “I should be shouldn’t I? And I don’t want to be disrespectful seeing as how she did sacrifice herself so he could live but…”

 

“But?”

 

“But I kind of want all that stuff you know? I mean that’s part of having a child all that stuff, I wouldn’t have even minding ballooning up like an elephant because if someone had said something I could have pointed at my tummy and said this is Angel’s baby,” tilting her head she smiled up at him. “Baby of Angel.”

 

“We did it once… there’s always a chance…” Angel said wistfully wrapping his arms around her waist as he tried to pull her even closer to him.

 

“Well no more Mohra demons for you,” she closed her eyes once more as she held his arms in place around her. “We’ll just have to wait until you Shanshu this time.”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

Buffy twisted her head to gaze at the vampire that was currently curled around her. Touching his face gently she smiled at him before she lifted his arm from where it was resting on her hip and sliding out from under it.

 

“Buffy?” he murmured softly his hand reaching out to her one eye cracking open. “Where are you going?”

 

“I have to check in,” she cupped his face within one hand as she leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “I’ll be back… go back to sleep.”

 

“I’ll come with,” he mumbled starting to sit up.

 

Buffy grinned at his determination to not let her out of his sight… he was so worried that something was going to happen now that they had been reunited that she had a feeling that he was going to be possessive as hell for quite a while.

 

Which wouldn’t actually be bad if she was the Buffy Summers, Slayer extraordinaire that he remembered. Unfortunately she wasn’t that girl anymore… and a lot of the battles she was involved in he wouldn’t be able to take part.

 

“I’ll be right back,” she pushed him back down on the pillows, drawing the comforter that had somehow found it’s way down to the end of the bed over him.

 

“Thirty minutes then I come looking for you,” Angel sighed noisily turning onto his side once more.

 

“I won’t even be gone that long,” Buffy promised with another quick kiss, at least it was supposed to be a quick kiss. He moved quite quickly for a sleepy vampire and captured her face within his hands holding her in place as his lips moved insistently over hers. With a low moan her lips parted for his and his tongue delved within the confines of her mouth.

 

Wrapping his arms tightly around her he drew her down on the bed beside him, rolling her onto her back he settled above her his hips pressing into hers.

 

With a grin he drew back, one hand holding his full weight off of her the other caressing her cheek. She groaned as she moved restlessly under him, her hands on his hips as she tried to prod him into finishing what he had started.

 

“Incentive,” he nipped the tip of her nose. “To come back quickly,” he said rolling off of her. Laying on his side, arm bent so that he could support his head he winked at her.

 

“You’re a cruel, cruel man,” Buffy groaned rolling off the bed. Straightening her shirt she cast a glance over her shoulder at him. “So when I come back we can finish what you started?”

 

“Maybe…” Angel pulled the pillow that she had been using to his chest, wrapping his arms around it as he watched her frown at him. “If I’m not asleep when you come back.”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

Buffy took a deep breath as she closed her bedroom door softly behind her. They had talked for hours, by the time they had actually come into the house it was quiet… everyone besides them most likely in bed.

 

She’d wanted to have a chance to talk to Connor… and Giles before they went to bed. But so caught up in her reunion with Angel she’d forgotten they were in the house until she’d noticed their absences.

 

The thought of her son still blew her away… and she was still slightly miffed that Darla had been the one to carry him. She’d hidden it well from Angel and although he’d definitely picked up on the vibes he’d not said a word to her about it.

 

Possibly knowing that nothing he said would make it better, that it was something that she was going to have to come to grips with on her own.

 

Moving quietly through the house she descended the stairs startled when she saw the light on in the living room.

 

“Damon?” she asked in surprise as she saw him reclining on the couch in the room. “What’re you still doing up?”

 

“Waiting for Colin to get back,” her best friend studied her. The one person besides Angel who seemed to know her the best.

 

The only other person who could read her moods from just her body language.

 

“You’re still kind of angry,” he commented.

 

“Why do you say that?” she sighed walking into the room. Shoving his legs aside she sat next to him, resting her head on the back of the couch.

 

“Because if I was in your shoes I would be.”

 

“I just… I just thought having my first child would be a lot different than this. I kind of thought at the very least that I would be involved with it… not find out about it years later.”

 

“And it bothers you that the vampire gave birth to him… A vampire that was your mates’ lover at one point.”

 

“I know it shouldn’t,” she said softly. “I mean she did sacrifice herself and all. But…”

 

“But she still carried him, bonded with him while you didn’t even know he existed until just recently.”

 

Buffy turned to stare at him, eyes narrowed as she studied him. “Is Jade teaching you how to read minds or something?”

 

“No,” Damon smirked at her. “It’s just I’d feel the same way. I reckon most of us would. But I have to say that all and all you were pretty damn lucky.”

 

“How do you figure? I missed twenty years of my sons’ life.”

 

“And Angel missed seventeen years of his life,” he retorted. “But you could be missing even more than that… The way I understand it the first person that Angel slept with after he did the reversal thing ended up being the proud mama of your baby. Right?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Well he’s slept with what? Two women since you guys split up?”

 

“Yeah… Darla and Cordelia,” Buffy muttered.

 

“Well who would you rather have as his mother? A vampire who had to stake herself in order to give birth or a very human seer who would have given birth with no problem, thereby reinforcing the spell and forging an even closer attachment, a closer bond to Angel and Connor.”

 

“You know I’d vote for Darla… if Cordy had been his mother neither Angel nor Connor would be here right now,” Buffy glared at him. She understood his words. She understood what he was trying to do.

 

That didn’t mean she had to like it though.

 

If Darla had never been resurrected and Angel had slept with Cordy first… she shuddered as the vision ran through her mind. She’d have been more then cut off… and Angel would still be with Cordy, after all she would be the mother of his child.

 

Regardless of the fact that she wasn’t his biological mother she would still have been his birth mother. So Angel would have stayed with her.

 

He was loyal that way.

 

“So where is everyone?” she asked changing the subject. Damon raised a brow at her in a look that let her know that she wasn’t fooling him but would play along with the subject change… for a while anyway.

 

“Our group or your group?”

 

“Either or…”

 

“Well Wesley put your group in the guestrooms… then he went to bed, Jade followed him shortly thereafter… I’m assuming that Angel is sharing your bed so we don’t have to hunt up a cot to stick in one of the guests?” he eyed Buffy out of the corner of his eye, smirking as she flushed.

 

“Nothings happened yet,” she muttered.

 

“Yet being the operative word,” he said smugly. “How long has it been since you got laid anyway? Well before I met you… so over a year at least.”

 

“My sex life is none of your business,” she frowned.

 

“I tell you about mine,” he stated defensively.

 

“Yeah and I really wish you wouldn’t.”

 

“Just wanted to make sure you knew that there was still something out there called sex… is it my fault that you have to complicate it with emotions and caring about the other person and all that crap.”

 

“What can I say I’m funny that way,” Buffy winked at him. “So that leaves Colin unaccounted for… which means he’s still at the compound,” glancing down at her watch she frowned at him once more. “He’s been there for over 24 hours were our weapons in that bad a shape?”

 

“Didn’t think so but…” Damon shrugged. “You should get back to your vampire before he comes looking for you.”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

Angel stared down at the busy compound in the valley below him. If he hadn’t known that the Initiative had been disbanded and if the soldiers wielding weapons, with stakes tucked in their belts were demons he would have thought that Riley’s buddies had taken arms again.

 

But he knew it wasn’t the Initiative… besides most of the remaining members of that organization were currently working with them.

 

The sun was high in the sky, scorching in its heat… but he had his sunglasses on, had remembered the sunscreen. Although, he frowned, there was something that he was forgetting.

 

Something important.

 

“Angel,” he heard the young man approach from behind him. He didn’t turn, his attention never wavering from the area below him.

 

“Xander,” he returned nodding as his companion joined him in his study.

 

“How’s that new heart working out for you?” the former Zeppo, now dead Warrior asked crossing his arms over his chest.

 

Angel’s hand flew to his chest, surprise crossing his handsome features when he felt the steady beating of a heart that hadn’t beat in over two hundred years… save for a day that only he and Buffy remembered happening.

 

“They’re busy down there,” Xander nodded drawing his attention back to the compound below them. “Something must be going on.”

 

“I think they’re getting ready to move her,” Angel said quietly, slight confusion in his voice as he returned his gaze as well. This was not right, there was something very wrong at the moment and while he couldn’t place it right then… he knew that the woman being moved down there was important to them… to him.

 

That he’d let her make decisions that had ended in her capture… although it had resulted in freedom for others.

 

Sometimes he didn’t think that the tradeoff had been that fair.

 

But he had promised to not interfere when she had to do her job. Had not interfered even though both the soul and the demon had been screaming inside his mind as they saw her taken.

 

“Big choices are heading in your direction,” Xander turned his steady gaze to the former vampires. “Are you ready to make them?”

 

Angel frowned at him, suddenly remembering a time when Joyce had asked him a similar question.

 

I think we both know that there are some hard choices ahead. If she can’t make them, you’re gonna have to.

 

And he’d done it… Buffy couldn’t walk away, Buffy couldn’t make the decision so he’d made the choice for both of them.

 

He’d listened to the words that Joyce hadn’t been saying that day and in the process managed to almost destroy both him and Buffy.

 

They were just recovering from that torment now… and besides…

 

“Haven’t I already made the difficult choice?” he asked bitterly turning his attention away from the compound below them. “I let her do what she had to…”

 

“Have you…?” Xander asked softly his posture suddenly stiffening as he saw a flurry of movement. Angel turned back and caught sight of a blonde head being rushed out of a concrete building.

 

“Buffy!”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

“Angel,” Buffy whispered softly nipping at his ear. He had been tossing and turning when she had returned to her room 5 minutes shy of her 30 minute deadline. She’d been slightly upset to find him already asleep but was confident in her abilities to wake him.

 

“Angel baby…. Wake up,” she breathed into his ear. Her body pressed firmly to the line of her loves, one leg thrown over his, arms over his chest she was unsurprised to feel his arms encircle her… tightly.

 

“Angel still needing to breathe here,” she muttered struggling against the iron grip of his arms.

 

“Buffy!” her love cried sitting suddenly upright in bed his arms tight around her.

 

“Angel?” she queried softly. She could feel the terror emanating off him in waves. He was so scared… for her.

 

“Oh god…” Angel murmured pulling her even tighter into him. “Buffy.”

 

“Are you okay?” she asked caressing his cheek gently, her eyes intent on his face. On the tears on his face.

 

“I saw… oh god,” he clutched her to him. “It was just a dream, just a dream,” he repeated over and over like a mantra.

 

Buffy enfolded him in her arms, rocking him slightly as she pressed little kisses to his forehead repeatedly. Through their bond she was attempting to send him all the love and devotion that she felt inside her. She wasn’t sure if it was getting through his terror, the souls and the demons were both terrified.

 

“Angel?”

 

“I… it was a nightmare,” Angel decided releasing her slightly. “I mean Xander was there so it couldn’t have been anything else…”

 

“Xander? Was in your dream?” Buffy asked with slight amusement. “Do you often dream about a man that you didn’t like?”

 

“No… but that’s what it was… it has to be.”

 

“What was it about?”

 

“Hell.”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

Buffy sat in the empty kitchen with her cup of coffee. The night had definitely not gone as planned. Once she had gotten Angel calmed down he had fallen back asleep, his brow furrowed as he worried over whatever had been in the dream he wouldn’t share with her.

 

She thought she should be upset about that but she had a feeling that Angel needed to come to grips with whatever had happened within it before he shared it with her.

 

She could still vividly feel the terror that had enveloped the man and the demon. And she knew that whatever had happened in the dream had involved her… and that it had been bad.

 

“Morning,” she heard the soft voice from the doorway. Lifting her head she smiled as she saw Connor hovering there with uncertainty on his face. “I can come back later,” he said nervously.

 

“No come in… it’s just the kitchen,” Buffy motioning him through the door. “Are you hungry?”

 

“Uh… no…” Connor frowned as he sat at the table in the chair across from her. Stories that both Dawn and his father had told him were rolling through his brain.

 

Stories about Buffy’s not being able to cook… as Dawn had once put it, “her cooking is about the same as her driving… Deadly to innocent bystanders.”

 

“Dawn and Angel got to you didn’t they? Probably Will and Giles to,” Buffy grinned at him over her cup. “Well I can finally prove them wrong.”

 

“No that’s okay,” Connor winced as he watched her get up, casting desperate eyes towards the door. “I can wait for dad to get up… besides I’m not really that hungry,” to which his stomach protested loudly, growling at his trying to deny it food… even inedible food.

 

“Nonsense,” she waved off his objections. “I don’t often get the chance to show off my new cooking skills,” she glanced over her shoulder at him. “We normally have a cook during the week, on weekends we take turns and since there’s five of us.”

 

She shrugged as she pulled pans out a cupboard, a spatula, some eggs, a couple of potatoes, sliced ham all joined the growing pile on the counter.

 

“How do you want your eggs?” she turned back to him.

 

“Uh… this really isn’t necessary,” Connor said desperately. “I can wait… we could just talk… or something.”

 

“I can talk and cook at the same time,” Buffy grinned impishly at him. “Mastered it a few months ago.”

 

“Scrambled,” Connor said slowly. Scrambled eggs were the easiest thing to make, even Cordelia, who he’d been told was almost worse then Buffy in the kitchen, couldn’t screw up scrambled eggs.

 

“You don’t look like scrambled eggs,” Buffy tilted her head as she studied him. “My favorites over easy, they okay?”

 

“Fine,” Connor said softly as he watched her dice potatoes into wedges, sprinkling them with a jar of something as she set them on the stove to cook.

 

“So your dad never said where exactly you were raised… I know it was a demon dimension but he never identified it,” she mused as she cracked eggs into another pan.

 

“Not really important,” he shrugged as the enticing aroma of cooking food wafted through the kitchen. His stomach growled once more, insisting that regardless of how the food actually turned out it must, absolutely must end up within its confines.

 

“Didn’t they feed you before they showed you the guest rooms?” Buffy glanced over her shoulder at him a quizzical expression on her face.

 

“Yeah… I eat a lot.”

 

“Well you’re a growing boy,” she grinned. “Probably would have been worse if you were still an actual teen-ager, you would most likely have eaten your dad and I out of house and home.”

 

Connor smiled at her back. He’d told her, he must have.

 

“I do have a favor to ask you,” she said as she removed the pans from the stove, moving eggs, potatoes, the ham that he’d never even seen her put on the stove onto two plates.

 

“Yes ma’am?”

 

Buffy smiled gently at him as she set the plate in front of him, scurrying back to the refrigerator for a large glass of orange juice for her growing boy.

 

“Can you not call me mom just yet? Give me some time to get used to have a son that’s three years younger then me,” she said as she set the glass in front of him.

 

He swallowed thickly, tears quickly jumping to his eyes as the thought that she might reject him raced through his mind. Looking up at her when she touched his shoulder his sadness evident on his face her features were soft, and in her eyes he could see similar fear to what was coursing through him.

 

If he was afraid she was going to reject him she was afraid of the same thing. Afraid that he would not find her worthy to be his mother, that he would rather have had a vampire as his mother since his father was one.

 

“Okay,” he said softly his eyes locked on hers. Impulsively she leaned down and kissed his cheek and he breathed deeply at her nearness.

 

His mothers nearness.

 

“Now eat,” she ordered gently. “Before your stomach stages a revolt.”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

Angel stared at the scene before him in awe. Blinking once… twice he finally raised a hand to rub his eyes. Certain that his vision must finally be failing him.

 

When he dropped his hand to his side and the scene still didn’t change he pinched himself… hard.

 

He had to still be asleep after all. But while there was indeed pain the vision before him was still there.

 

Buffy standing at a stove, smiling, laughing… cooking… with nothing on fire.

 

No flames rising to the skies from the burners courtesy of the woman who had once tried to set the kitchen of the mansion on fire trying to bake cookies.

 

There was no Dawn gagging on the food placed before her, no Giles surreptitiously hiding bits of food in his handkerchief to be discarded later.

 

No the seats at the table were filled with Connor, Dawn, Giles all eating… Damon who was leaning back precariously in his chair waiting obviously for the next plate to be ready.

 

Angel had a momentary lapse of goodwill towards the other man and willed the chair to collapse under the younger male, when it didn’t he scowled but then turned his attention back to his love.

 

Who was currently walking towards him, plate in hand which she set in front of Damon before continuing on to him.

 

Touching his cheek gently she leaned into him, standing on tiptoes to press a quick kiss to his lips his hands darted out before she could escape and he enfolded her within his arms.

 

Ignoring the giggling emanating from Dawn as he kissed her older sister more thoroughly. Ignoring the whistles from Damon and Connor.

 

“Well…” Buffy started, clearing her throat bestowing him with a brilliant smile before she buried her flaming face in his chest. “Somebody feels better.”

 

“Did something happen last night?” Giles asked curiously as she took his hand and drew him towards the empty chair at the table. Gently pushing him down into it she dodged the hands that tried to pull her into his lap, instead she kissed the top of his head before heading towards the refrigerator.

 

“Nightmare,” Angel stated simply. Watching with something akin to amusement as Buffy removed a jug obviously full of blood and poured some in the coffee mug waiting on the counter. Into the microwave the mug went and she bounced on the balls of her feet as she waited.

 

“Really?” the Watcher asked alarmed. “Something alarming I take it?”

 

“Just… it was interesting,” he smiled up at Buffy as she set the mug in front of him.

 

“He won’t tell me what it was about either Giles,” Buffy grinned wrapping her arms around his neck.

 

“I’ll share it… I just need… I need to process it all first.”

 

He couldn’t share the dream, the nightmare that he’d had with her. He could vividly remember the fear in his gut as he’d realized that Buffy was the one trapped in that compound.

 

“They’re busy down there,” Xander nodded drawing his attention back to the compound below them. “Something must be going on.”

 

“I think they’re getting ready to move her,” Angel said quietly, slight confusion in his voice as he returned his gaze as well. This was not right, there was something very wrong at the moment and while he couldn’t place it right then… he knew that the woman being moved down there was important to them… to him.

 

Then there was the fact that he’d been human in the dream. Absently he pressed a hand to his chest.

 

To his unbeating heart.

 

That heart had been beating in his dream… and Xander Harris had been alive.

 

“Angel is the blood okay?” Buffy asked worriedly as she watched him stare off into nothing, the mug held loosely in his hand.

 

Angel started at the sound of her voice, looking up at her from where he was sitting he glanced down at the mug in his hand.

 

“It’s fine… the dream it just threw me off kilter.”

 

His eyes met Damon’s across the table and he knew from the way that the other man was studying him that he was aware that something more than that was up.

 

“You should talk about it,” Damon said quietly, his eyes boring into the vampires. “Bottling things up inside… nothing good can come of it.”

 

Angel was saved from having to reply as Colin staggered into the kitchen.

 

“Jeez,” Buffy’s eyes widened and Damon flew out of his chair to allow his fellow warrior to collapse. “Did you just get back?”

 

“Yeah,” Colin muttered tiredly. Crossing his arms on the table he rested his head on them, eyes drifting close.

 

“Why didn’t you go to bed?” Damon grumbled.

 

“Hungry.”

 

“Just like a man,” Buffy rolled her eyes as she moved back to her position behind the stove, ignoring all present males’ protests to the contrary. “Thinking with his stomach.”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

Rupert Giles had been witness to many miracles in his day. The vampire sitting in the small garden before him, brooding, had been part of several of them.

 

Some had even been designed specifically for him.

 

The powers sending the first and to date only snow fall to Sunnydale California to keep the despairing vampire from dusting himself in the dawn of morning after he had returned from Hell had been only one of many that he had been privileged to witness.

 

The garden that the vampire was now sitting in alone could probably be counted as another.

 

In all his years as a Watcher Giles had never heard of a spell that could make an open area, even a small one, safe for vampires to venture into during daylight hours.

 

But where his Slayer and her Vampire were concerned he had learned to not question, to just accept.

 

That had all been leaned by dealing with his Slayer. The Council of Watchers certainly didn’t condone that method.

 

Theirs was to question, question, question until answers displayed themselves.

 

But Buffy Summers had turned his entire, organized life totally upside down and sideway.

 

She had been incorrigible when he’d first met her. Within moments of meeting her he had prayed that the Council would send someone else to train her.

 

Because that small sixteen year old girl had succeeded in breaking every pre-conceived notion, every rule that he’d ever thought of in conjunction with how a Slayer should behave.

 

She’d re-written rules to fit her style of living. Her style of surviving. She’d averted apocalypses, survived when prophecies stated that she would fall…

 

He had to wonder how he’d ever thought, ever believed that she could be killed so easily by Anyanka.

 

Oh part of him knew that it only took one blow to be the death blow, and Spike had told him his theory about Slayer’s, death wishes and ‘one good day’…. But he’d always believed Buffy above all that.

 

“So are you going to tell me?” Giles stood in the doorway to the garden watching the sunlight reflect off the new sunglasses that Dawn and Connor had gifted the vampire with just an hour earlier.

 

He had thought upon finding out that Buffy was alive that Angel would never have cause to brood again. Obviously the nightmare, the dream that he’d had the night before had shaken him up more then he was letting on.

 

“It was just a dream,” Angel stated stoically as he turned to watch Giles’ entrance into the garden.

 

“And I’m just a Watcher,” Giles snorted settling himself on the bench opposite him. “The dream has obviously disturbed you… and I’m guessing by your reluctance to discuss it with Buffy or her friends that it somehow concerns her.”

 

“Where’s Buffy?”

 

“I believe Wesley has dragged her and the others into a meeting. She was quite vocal in her anger over the matter… you could probably have heard her out here.”

 

“Dawn and Connor?” he querying the whereabouts of the rest of their small family.

 

“Packing lunch I believe,” Giles let an indulgent smile cross his face despite the worry that Angel’s brooding was invoking.

 

“Yeah… Buffy wants to have a picnic,” a half smile crossed Angel’s face as the vampire stared at him… at least Giles assumed he was being stared at from behind the dark lenses… for a moment before leaning forward to bury his head within his hands.

 

“I’m going to lose her,” Angel said softly.

 

“Excuse me?” Giles asked in confusion. Of all the things that he’d been expecting to hear come from Angel’s mouth that had not been it. Especially since Buffy was quite obviously still in love with the ensouled vampire.

 

“I don’t mean she’s going to leave me… although maybe it would be best if she did.”

 

“Alright,” the Watcher sighed. “Start from the beginning, I think I’ve missed a fairly large chunk of this conversation.”

 

Angel took a largely unnecessary breath, mostly to brace himself for what he was about to share and with a voice so low that Giles had to lean forward to hear him he started.

 

**************************************************************************************

 

“So what’s up?” Buffy muttered a mutinous expression on her face as she flopped down in her seat at the table.

 

She’d had plans to spend the entire day surrounded with her family. She’d sent Connor and Dawn out to get sunscreen and glasses for Angel and had planned on the five of them (she had to include Giles… he was like her father after all) having a picnic in the garden and just spending quality time together.

 

Instead she had been hustled into a close doored meeting with Wesley and her team.

 

Crossing her arms over her chest she glared up at their Watcher.

 

“Don’t give me that look Buffy… If I’d had any other choice…” he gave a long suffering sigh before pointing a small black remote at the TV encased within the wall.

 

They all dutifully turned towards the screen, Jade’s hand flying to her mouth as their eyes focused on the sight before them.

 

“This is ‘Senvil Prison Camp’,” Wesley started his voice calm and collected. He’d already seen the footage at least three times trying to give himself sufficient amount of time to become desensitized to it so he could be detached when showing it to his team.

 

He’d after all had much the same reaction as his Warriors the first time he’d seen it.

 

Anger… nausea….

 

“It is located in a valley region in Switzerland… They have, at last count, sixteen uncalled Warriors, two uncalled Slayers and forty Hunters that were not considered for Indaran.”

 

Buffy winced, hand over her mouth as she watched the footage. Demons beating down the humans in their midst. The humans looking much like prison inmates, plain jumpsuits… chains around their ankles, around their wrists… unable to lift a hand to defend themselves.

 

“My god,” Damon uttered eyes wide. “This is barbaric…”

 

“All teams are being assembled. We’ll leave in two days time,” Wesley stated his voice strong as he glanced over at the still former Slayer. “I’m sorry Buffy… but you’ll have to cut your visit with your family short.”

 

“I know,” she whispered… and she did. For all that she had at one time wanted to be a normal girl, for all that Angel had wanted her to have a normal life… she had finally accepted the inevitable truth… she wasn’t normal.

 

She would never be normal.

 

She could only hope that Angel could accept that. This was what she did, what she was… what she had been born to do.

 

She was a warrior, a fighter… it was bred in her blood, had flowed unknowingly through her genes and passed into the son she had just discovered.

 

“Look on the bright side…with no more wipes they’ll still be here when you get back... and you’ll still remember them,” Colin said brightly.

 

“Right,” Buffy said softly. She didn’t share the horrible sense of foreboding running through her bones, straight up her spine, causing the once dormant butterflies in her stomach to start rapidly flying.

 

They would be here when she got back… so why did she have the horrible sinking sensation in her stomach that she wouldn’t be returning?

 

**************************************************************************************

 

Riley Finn once more fought his way to consciousness cursing the way of life that had landed him in this predicament.

 

If he had known just how brutal this life was going to be he would have chosen to be a farmer like his father.

 

But instead he had wanted to be a hero.

 

Some hero he was… laying on a concrete floor in a dark cell… again.

 

He wondered if the Indaran’s would once again fly to his rescue or if he was on his own this time. Maybe they had a save one time only policy.

 

Because only idiots would allow themselves to be captured twice… by the same group nonetheless.

 

He lay there momentarily trying to gauge his bodies injuries and it took him about a half a second before he realized that he wasn’t alone in the dank cell.

 

The shuffling noise from across the room filled him with terror that he couldn’t immediately quell as he skittered to the side, back pressed firmly against one concrete wall as he envisioned all the large animals that could kill or maim him.

 

Or worse yet could eat him alive.

 

He only realized that the shuffling noise was coming from a human being, not an animal when he saw the pale hand shove a threadbare blanket across the floor at him before retreating once more to the darkness of the other side of the cell.

 

“Hello?” he called softly. Trying to make as little noise as possible. He didn’t want to scare someone that could potentially be an ally… a way of escaping.

 

“Hello?” a soft familiar voice parroted back. For a moment he wracked his brain… a familiar voice. Everyone he knew had been accounted for.

 

He was the only idiot that had managed to get himself captured… again.

 

Peering into the darkness he tried to allow his eyes to focus in the dark and could just barely make a huddled shape on the floor across the room from him.

 

Picking the blanket up in one hand he pushed himself to his feet, swaying dizzily before he managed to hold himself upright he crept the small distance across the cell and thankfully sank to the floor once more.

 

“Do I…” he started as the huddled form turned toward him.  “Know you…”

 

The other acknowledging his presence by looking over at him Riley’s eyes widening as a dead man stared back at him. Gaunt, pale, dirt streaked… and most of all alive.

 

He couldn’t keep the disbelief from his voice.

 

“Xander?”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

Angel stood in the door to Buffy’s bedroom watching his mate stare sightlessly at the wall before her. She’d obviously been changing prior to sitting on the edge of the bed.

 

In her hands she clutched a white tank-top, her shoulders slumped.

 

He could taste the agitation rolling off her in waves. Agitation and just a slight hint of fear.

 

Which led him to wonder what exactly had been discussed in the meeting that she’d been dragged into… hopefully not what he feared had been discussed.

 

To find her again only to lose her… that was unacceptable.

 

“You missed the picnic,” he said quietly. She started suddenly glancing over at the door, seeing his gaze drop below her eyes focusing on only her lace bra clad breasts she flushed slightly and dragged the tank-top over her head.

 

“Did you… did I miss anything?”

 

Angel grinned ruefully. “Not really. Dawn made us all sit on a blanket, eat sandwiches… Connor tried to catch some ants because Dawn told him that a picnic wouldn’t be a picnic without them.”

 

“I don’t think there are any ants in the garden.”

 

“Still didn’t stop them…” the smile faded from his face as his head tilted to one side, studying her.

 

“Did you pack it in? Have enough of the garden?”

 

“They’re still down there… I wanted to see if you were done with your meeting… the picnic was your idea after all.”

 

“Did… did you miss me?” she asked softly watching as he slowly walked towards her.

 

She’d always loved the way he moved. Graceful, sleek… he’d always moved like the predator that he once had been. Gaining his soul had not changed that.

 

“I always miss you when you’re not with me,” he stated dropping to his haunches before her. “Without you by my side I feel a loneliness, an ache that is only quelled when you’re back by my side.”

 

“Angel…” she whispered reaching one hand out she cupped his cheek, tears filling her eyes.

 

“When are you leaving?” he asked his eyes never wavering from hers.

 

“Two days… we’ll leave tomorrow from the compound and then we’ll proceed from there.”

 

“I’ll go with you.”

 

“You can’t,” she whispered drawing him into her arms. Resting her lips on his forehead she closed her eyes. The fear that she was feeling, the certainty that she wouldn’t be returning she knew without a doubt that he felt it to.

 

That he feared her falling in battle.

 

“I wish you could… this is something that I have to do… this is my job, my life until the end. You’re a warrior, a fighter you know that.”

 

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” he muttered. “I hate this.”

 

“I don’t like it much either but you have to let me do this…”

 

Maybe he heard something in her voice. Maybe he could feel the tension in her arms but Angel’s arms reflexively tightened around her.

 

Holding her tight as if he knew that this might be the last opportunity that he would get to do so.

 

She knew without a doubt that if she drew away she would see a mirror image of the tears in her eyes within his.

 

“I won’t just wait here for news on whether you’re alive or dead…”

 

With a sigh she backed away. She’d already foreseen this exact scenario. Had received permission to bring her group, bring the remaining members of the ‘Scooby’s’ to the Colorado compound if they wanted to come.

 

“You can come to the compound with us… when I get back,” she forced a smile to her face. “When I get back you guys will be the first thing I see.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you to,” she smiled, unbidden a tear dropped from her eye and Angel closed his eyes momentarily to block out the sight of that tear falling before reopening them and wiping it away. If he ever needed a sign that Buffy was preparing for the worse, thought the worse that tear was it.

 

“Til the end of time I’ll love you.”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

“Xander?” Riley repeated, his voice raising an octave above what it would normally have been he stared at the other man.

 

“Riley?” the huddled mass leaned forward peering curiously into his eyes before leaning back against the cement wall, banging his head repeatedly as his eyes closed. “Fuck! I’ve gone to sleep.”

 

“What?” the soldier moved forward his hand reaching out to touch the other mans shoulder, trying to stop him from injuring himself. “Xander stop! You’re going to hurt yourself.”

 

“Just trying to wake myself up,” Xander grumbled. “Damn it.”

 

“But you… you’re dead,” he sputtered.

 

“So people keep telling me.”

 

“Is this hell then? Because to be honest I though there’d be more brimstone, fire, red guy with horns and a pitchfork named Satan…”

 

“Not hell,” Xander muttered. “Pretty damn close to it though… and the red guy with horns doesn’t have a pitchfork, horns yes, pitchfork no.”

 

“So we are dead then,” Riley sighed with resignation.

 

“No we’re not dead…” Xander leaned forward eyes focused on the soldier. “I’m guessing you’re not here to rescue me?”

 

“No… sorry buddy… but hey look on the bright side maybe the Indaran’s will come through again.”

 

Xander’s eyes widened almost comically in his gaunt face, shock prevalent on his features. “Did you just say Indaran?”

 

“Yeah… they rescued me about a couple of days ago and let me go…”

 

“The Indaran have been called? All of them?”

 

“I guess,” Riley shrugged. “So do you want to tell me how you happen to be alive and not dead and buried in Sunnydale like you’re supposed to be?”

 

Xander rubbed a hand along his face as he let out a world weary sigh. Leaning back against the wall once more he stared up at the ceiling, eyes focused on nothing.

 

“Xander?”

 

“It’s a long story…” he started.

 

“I’m thinking we’ve got nothing but time at this point.”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

May 2003: Sunnydale Memorial Hospital

 

Xander lay motionless on the gurney. He found if he didn’t move, if he didn’t breathe then the pain that ran throughout the entire length of his body wasn’t as bad.

 

Of course his body protested… quite vehemently if he held his breath for more then ten seconds.

 

Around him he could hear the busy bustle of the hospital. He could hear Dawn and Spike out in the hall, low voices conversing with whatever doctor happened to be out there.

 

Of course his thoughts weren’t on the two standing out there worrying about him. Although in Spike’s case he had to wonder if the vampire was praying for his death instead of his life.

 

Most of his thoughts were racing back to the Summers house. Trying to come up with some other scenario other than the one that had played out. He’d seen the blood on Buffy’s shirt before he’d been rushed to the hospital, knew that Anya… his Anya had been responsible for the wound on Buffy’s body.

 

On his body.

 

“Is he the one old man?” he heard a hushed voice and with some effort forced his eyes open.

 

He felt a cool hand on his forehead, not vampire cool but cool nonetheless and when he finally managed to get his eyes to listen to commands he found himself staring into the eyes of an elderly man.

 

“He is one of them,” the old man said softly. “It is a mortal wound though…”

 

“Then fix it,” the other ordered and Xander forced himself to turn his head to face the owner of that voice.

 

That voice belonged to a vampire. One in game face as well.

 

“It’s not that easy… you don’t just heal a wound like this. Besides if he dies… if they believe him dead they won’t search for him, won’t know about him… think of the things we could learn…” the old man said patiently, his tone sounding as if he was explaining things to a simple child.

 

“You said he wouldn’t be called… how are we going to learn anything from him? Besides all I want is a hunter for the auctions…”

 

“He hasn’t been called as Hunter either…”

 

“Then why the hell are we here… if you’re playing with me…”

 

“He will be called… when enough fall he will take his rightful place. All those that we have will take their rightful places eventually…”

 

“And how long will he be useless to me until that happens?! A day, a week?”

 

“A year… almost exactly a year…”

 

“A year… I’m not keeping him for a year…I’ll have to feed him, clothe him…”

 

Xander winced as he felt the weight of a hand on his face, forcing him to look back up into the old mans eyes.

 

“I think the prison camp will be a nice place for him to wait out his uselessness,” he smiled and Xander frowned.

 

Because that smile wasn’t evil, it was friendly, gentle… and this was supposed to be a bad guy right?

 

“Find me a body… his size and weight…  a simple glamour should take care of his friends.”

 

The vampire grumbled but left the room, obviously to carry out the old man’s wishes.

 

“You can’t do this…” he struggled to say. He wished his body didn’t feel so weak, so heavy… he wished that he hadn’t been defenseless when Anya had struck. “My friends…”

 

“Will never even know the truth until it’s too late.”

 

He wished he’d actually broken down and told Cordy how he truly felt about her. He knew she was with Angel now but maybe knowing that he loved her would have brought her back to him…

 

“Oh young man… look at it this way,” he leaned close to Xander, his face just inches away and Xander was once again struck by the non-evilness of him. Because he smelled like peppermint.

 

“At least you won’t be dead… may wish to be … but you won’t be…”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

Cordy lagged slightly behind Willow as they walked up the steps to the house. Angel had called them about an hour earlier, insisting that Willow, Cordy, Spike and Gunn all be at the address he had hastily rattled off in two hours each with a bag with at the very least overnight clothes.

 

None of her questions had been answered. The only one that had come even remotely close had been her, ‘Why the hell do you want us to bring Spike?’ Angel had replied in his most glowering tone that Buffy wanted him there.

 

His tone assuring her that if he’d had his way Spike would be heading towards the house that Buffy now lived in over his dusted body.

 

But the important questions, where they were going, how long they were going to be gone… Angel had hung up before she could get those answers.

 

So she’d fumed and ranted about the futility at being able to pack appropriately for what was obviously going to be a trip.

 

So she’d packed an assortment of clothes into her small suitcase, setting it in the trunk beside Willow and Gunn’s even smaller duffel bags and Spike’s brown paper bag with an extra pair of jeans and a T-shirt and gave them the eye when they’d tried to argue with her about how much she was bringing.

 

She would be damned if Buffy Summers would show her up when it came to clothes.

 

But now as she lugged the suitcase behind her, both Spike and Gunn had refused to carry it for her, she wondered if maybe she hadn’t overpacked.

 

Of course then she shook her head… because there was no such thing as overpacking to a Chase.

 

She scowled at Angel when she entered the foyer of the rather large house, largely irritated that Buffy of all people had been chosen to live in such a nice piece of property.

 

“We’re only going to be gone a couple of days Cordelia,” Angel stared at the bag she dragged along behind her. The one she was currently dropping and leaving in the middle of the floor as she stalked up to the vampire who she considered family. With hands on her hips she glared at him.

 

“Well if you had said that, or if you had even told us where we were going I would have known what to pack!”

 

“We’ll hopefully only be gone for about two days and we’re going to Colorado,” Angel shrugged turning on his heel as he motioned for them to follow.

 

“Colorado?! Why the hell would I want to go to Colorado?!”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

“Buffy?” Connor asked quietly. He could see his mothers slumped shoulders and like his father, although not with the same senses he could feel the agitation and fear that seemed to radiate through her entire being. Seemed to encompass the entire room she was sitting in.

 

“Hi Connor,” she murmured, a weak smile was thrown in his direction and he slowly walked towards her.

 

“Are… are you okay?”

 

A sharp, harsh laugh issued from her mouth and Connor looked at her in surprise. He had thought with his parents being together again. Thought that with them obviously still caring about each other… still loving each other that depression on either part would become a thing of the past.

 

Obviously that was not the case… or he missed something huge.

 

“Am I alright?” she sighed as she ran her hands over her face. “I honestly couldn’t tell you if I was or not.”

 

“Okay,” he shot her a confused look. “Do you want to… you know talk about it?”

 

“No… I’d much rather hear about you.”

 

“Me?”

 

“Yeah… tell me something about yourself Connor. Tell me about your childhood…or something.”

 

“Oh,” sitting next to her on the bed he looked down at his hands. “Connor wasn’t always my name… my fat… Holtz he renamed me Stephen.”

 

“Did he love you?”

 

“Sometimes I thought so… I mean I thought he was my father and he raised me so he must have felt something right?”

 

“It doesn’t always work that way.”

 

“I know that now,” glancing over at her he saw that she was watching him intently, her entire person focused on him and that filled him with emotions that he couldn’t gauge all at once.

 

This was his mother and she was interested in him. Wanted to know him.

 

“I was a thing to him… this way for him to gain revenge on Angel. He taught me to hate him, taught me how to kill him and then when the time was right he brought me back here and left me with him.”

 

“You tried to kill him,” Buffy stated and Connor glanced back over at her. He’d forgotten that she knew what had happened between Angel and him. He half expected to see hate at his actions towards his father but instead all he found was understanding… compassion.

 

She’d been trained the same way… oh not to kill Angel. But to kill his kind, to hunt vampires, demons.

 

He wondered what it had cost her to fall in love with his father.

 

To go against the ingrained nature of the Slayer and love the demon that was within Angel.

 

“I did… it was what I was trained for… I thought I was avenging my fathers’ murder but instead…”

 

“Instead you were carrying out his vengeance.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“So… what about girls? Did you leave someone special behind when Holtz brought you back here? I bet you broke all the girls hearts when you were growing up,” Buffy murmured with a smile. “You get that from your father I think.”

 

“No… there weren’t a lot of humans, let alone girls in the dimension that we lived in. Besides my… Holtz thought that it would interfere with my training.”

 

“He sounds like Giles,” she said fondly.

 

“Colorado?! Why the hell would I want to go to Colorado?!” they heard the loud voice rising through the house.

 

“Guess the others are here.”

 

“Yep… Guess Cordy still hasn’t learned to control the volume of her voice yet,” Buffy said with a grin as she stood.

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

“Shoot,” she said as she led him from the room. Following the sounds of Cordy’s raised voice.

 

“You know that dad and Spike don’t get along… so why did you have Willow bring him?”

 

Buffy paused in her movements, turning to look into her grown sons eyes and with a sad smile she studied him. “Because he’s a friend… and during a very dark period of time, regardless of how much he dragged me further into it… Spike was there for me.”

 

**************************************************************************************

 

“You know if you were a gentleman Spike you would go get me a plate,” Cordy scowled at the blonde vampire.

 

“Never said I was gentleman cheerleader get your own damn plate,” Spike said cheerfully swishing the mug of blood that he was currently holding under the brunette’s nose.

 

With a loud harrumph and toss of her head Cordy stalked away.

 

“That was cruel Spike,” Willow grinned at him.

 

“Getting right tired of the little bitch always sniping at me,” he grumbled setting his mug on the table in front of him. Leaning forward he planted his elbows on the table, resting his head within his hands. “I mean is it my fault that Anyanka got it in ‘er head to kill off Xander and the rest of you?”

 

“No one is saying that it was your fault.”

 

“The way she bitches at me she does… I took ‘im to the hospital as soon as you and the Slayer had things under control… couldn’t have taken him any sooner without putting the bit and me in demon girls way… and Slayer would never ‘ave forgiven me if I let something happen to Dawn.”

 

“Spike…” Willow started touching his arm softly. “No one is blaming you… Cordy just misses him, plus she’s been having dreams about him lately so it’s just making it that much worse.”

 

“Dreams?” Spike looked up hopefully. “What kind of dreams? Naughty ones?”

 

“Spike,” she rolled her eyes at him and returned her attention to her plate.

 

Across the room Cordy was holding a glass in her hand as she waited for Damon to hand her a plate. With a smile and a shrug he proceeded to ignore her raised eyebrows and subsequent glare at being dismissed.

 

With a long-suffering sigh she glanced around the kitchen that everyone was stuffed into. Everyone, save Buffy and Connor were sitting in various positions around the room, for half a second she wondered where the two missing were, then all thoughts vanished from her mind as she fell to her knees under the crushing pain of an incoming vision.

 

With a gasp, then groan she crushed the glass in her hand as her eyes fluttered close. Her entire mind, her entire being focused on the images being presented to her.

 

Warriors, black clad standing in a circle hands joined as witches within their center cast a teleporting spell.

 

Fighting, swords clashing, hands hitting, legs and feet kicking.

 

Buffy and Colin falling under an onslaught of demons.

 

Colin strapped to a table, screaming in pain.

 

Warriors falling to their knees, faces contorted in pain, in anger.

 

Angel on his knees, hand to his chest as he took a deep breath, body shuddering at the effort.

 

Buffy in a dark, room. Tears staining her face, eyes raised to the heavens imploring aid to come.

 

“Cordy? Cordy are you alright?” her eyes slowly opened, Angel’s face wavering in front of her as she gasped for air. Jade appeared out of no where, tablets in one hand, glass of water in the other her face a picture of sympathy.

 

Damon knelt beside Angel, lifting her hand, brushing at the glass imbedded within her palm, folding her hand over a towel to staunch the bleeding.

 

“What did you see Cordy?” she heard Angel ask quietly but her attention was no longer on him. Her eyes drawn over his shoulder to where Buffy and Connor were standing in the door eyes wide as they stared at the scene displayed before them.

 

“Cordy?” Buffy asked her brow wrinkling as she noticed Cordy’s attention focused intently on her.

 

“If you go…” Cordy struggled. She could still feel the pain of the blows that Buffy and Colin had suffered. Could feel the pain that Colin had been in strapped to that table, the pain that Angel had experienced upon drawing air into his lungs. “If you go you’ll die.”

 

 

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