Chapter 12
Buffy lay
back on the bed, legs dangling off the edge she idly tapped her toes against
the floor as she closed her eyes.
She could
hear the shower still running in the bathroom which meant that she had several
more minutes to bolster her self-control before he came and started testing it
again.
William was
going to be the death of her.
With a soft
sigh she laid her arm over her eyes, blocking out the light illuminating the
room. Maybe if she closed her eyes long enough she’d wake up and everything
would be normal.
When she’d
gone back into the bathroom after telling him that his friends wouldn’t accept
her she’d heard him muttering to himself, she’d finished her morning ritual and
departed the tiny room once more.
She’d only
acknowledged him by a jerk of her head as she’d tossed the small bag of items
that Dawn had purchased for her on the bed. She could feel the Slayer’s eyes on
her as she sat on the edge, staring at the mirror across from her. With a sigh
he’d given up on coaxing her into conversation and went to shower and dress
himself.
“You’re not
going back to sleep are you?” she started as she heard his voice, lifting her
arm she was faced with the utterly delectable sight of damp Slayer in a towel
standing at the end of the bed and she was hard pressed not to rise up and put
the new strength that everyone insisted that she had to good use and fling him
down on the bed with her.
It had been
a long time since they’d made love.
Although
he’d never called it that.
“Buffy?” she
scowled as her eyes flew up to meet his and found him smirking at her. He was quite
aware of her dilemma and as he trailed a hand along his stomach, resting it
just above the knot in the towel she could feel a growl building in her throat.
If he
dropped the towel on the floor and stood before her naked she wouldn’t care
about their lack of birth control, she wouldn’t care about that fact that his
little group, sister included, were waiting on them.
She would
shag him until he couldn’t walk and she had to carry him to his mothers’ jeep.
And wouldn’t
that just be a sight to behold.
“Bit
underdressed aren’t you pet?” her scowl faded as a lazy smile crossed her face.
“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” he murmured
moving closer to her as she set up on the edge of the bed. Standing between her
legs he stared down at her, cursing as he realized that the hand that he was
reaching out to caress her cheek with was trembling.
“You hadn’t
noticed that you’re standin’ in a motel room,” she
grinned as her fingers hooked into the edge of the towel, the grin widening as
she felt the muscles in his stomach quiver at her touch, “alone, with me, wearin’ nothin’ but a towel,” her
voice dropped in tone, taking on the seductive tone that she’d always used to
talk him into doing things that he would normally never do.
Pressing
moist lips to his stomach, her tongue darting out to taste the skin directly
above where the towel was knotted about his waist, she heard the barely audible
groan and smiled to herself. All the while wondering exactly how far he was
prepared to take this.
She felt his
hands twist in her hair, dragging her face from where it was tormenting him he
stared deeply into her eyes.
Leaning down
as she rose to meet him halfway their mouths crashed together. Desire flaring to life between them as they fell back onto the bed.
This was
what she had been missing. The loneliness that had plagued her for the months
since she’d woken in a hospital with no memory of her life was only quelled by
this man that was wrapping his arms about her; holding her as if he was afraid
that she would attempt to flee from him.
William
ground himself into the welcoming cradle of her thighs. Growling
at the clothing that prohibited from possessing her fully.
Wrenching
her lips from his she moaned as his lips traveled down her neck, teeth nipping
at the sensitive skin there.
“William…”
she started breathlessly, her eyes drifted closed once more as his tongue did
something deliciously sinful to her earlobe, her body arching mindlessly up
into his.
“Hmm.”
“We… we can’t…”
she muttered even as her legs wound around his hips, holding him in place
against her.
“Why
not?” he mumbled against the skin of her neck.
“Had this
discussion already Slayer,” Buffy pulled away from him, cradling his face in
her hands she stared up at him, hazy desire filled eyes meeting hazy desire
filled eyes. “Human, birth control… unless you really want little baby Slayers runnin’ around right now…”
Closing his
eyes William scowled and she knew from the deep breathing that he was
attempting to calm himself.
“You know
things were so much easier when you were a vampire,” he grumbled.
“You know
you can be such a wanker sometimes,” Buffy scowled
pushing at him.
“I didn’t
mean it like that… it’s just that when you were… you know dead, we didn’t have
to worry about any of that stuff… it’s kind of disconcerting to have to think
about it now.”
“Well get
used to it Slayer… if Seti’s to be believed undead vampire me’s
not happenin’ again.”
“And I’m
really happy about that,” William said softly, pressing a soft kiss to her
forehead, then another to her lips he pushed himself to his feet.
“Suppose I
should go get dressed,” he muttered checking to make sure that the towel was
still securely fastened about his waist.
“Up to you
pet,” Buffy shrugged. “If you feel comfortable with your lil
sis, and the others seein’
you in all your glory…”
“I’ll go get
dressed.”
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Shoving sunglasses
on his face William followed Buffy out of their room. Moving up alongside her
he rested his hand at the small of her back, ignoring the questioning look she
threw at him, as he guided her towards where the others were assembled.
Even from
the distance away from them that they were William could see the scowl appear,
then disappear, on Xander’s face as he noticed that the Slayers were touching.
“Losin’ battle Slayer,” Buffy murmured softly and he knew
that she hadn’t missed Xander’s expression.
“Let me pick
my battles,” William muttered, leaning down he pressed a kiss to the top of her
head before he slipped her bag off her shoulder, moving away from her as he
went to the back of the jeep.
“How do you
feel?”
“Fine… food,
sleep,” Buffy shrugged. “It’s all good.”
“Are we all
here?” Giles asked breathlessly as he jogged up the group. Counting heads he
nodded and moved toward the drivers side of his car.
“We should get moving then… Buffy are you okay with Will and Dawn?”
“So long as
the Slayer isn’t drivin’ I’ll be fine Watcher.”
“Hey, I’m a
great driver… I got us this far didn’t I?” William objected from where he was
leaning over the open door of the jeep. Scowling as Xander and
“Will you
almost killed us when we tried to get off the interstate,” Dawn snorted.
“Why don’t I
remember this?” Buffy glanced between the two Summers
who were locked in a battle of wills, eyes glaring at each other. Dawn’s in
amusement, William’s in agitation.
“You were
unconscious in the backseat,” the youngest Summers
tossed back.
“Right…
forgot about that,” Buffy rolled her eyes as she moved over to him. “Hand over
the keys luv.”
“It’s my
car…”
“And great
car it is, would look better in one piece.”
“I’ll have
you know that I haven’t had an accident this year.”
“This year
being the operative words in that sentence,” Buffy held out her hand to him. “Keys pet.”
“You think
you’re a better driver than me, Miss I hit the Welcome to Sunnydale sign every
time I come into town? How many accidents have you actually been in with that sign?”
“Those
weren’t accidents, that was tradition,” she smirked
staring directly at him. “Couldn’t very well blow into town without announcing
myself could I?”
“Your
trashing the Welcome to Sunnydale sign was tradition? I think that’s just an
elaborate way of getting out of paying the property damage,” William said
doubtfully shaking his head.
“You have
your traditions I have mine,” she nodded. “Keys… think the Watchers in a bit of
a hurry to get movin’.”
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Buffy
shifted in the drivers seat, one hand resting casually
on the wheel the other trying, unsuccessfully to remove the gum from the little
piece of evil tin foil that had it trapped.
With a low
growl she snarled at it, almost hoping that it would open in fear of her.
Of course it
didn’t and when she heard the giggle from next to her she realized that her
growl, then successive snarl had awakened the Summers
sleeping in the passenger seat. A quick glance in the rear view mirror showed
that William was still sacked out in the backseat.
“Need some
help with that?” Dawn asked amusement lacing her voice as she grinned at her,
reaching over to remove the gum from between Buffy’s fingers.
“Soddin’ thing was tauntin’ me,”
she muttered defensively, “wrapped up in its pretty wrapper and all…”
“Sure,” the amusement
was till evident in Dawn’s voice and Buffy mock-growled at her as she plucked
the rectangular piece of gum from her fingers.
“Hate gum,”
the blonde grumbled.
“Then why
are you chewing it?”
“Needed somethin’ to keep
me occupied, bored out of my mind here bit. There’s absolutely nothin’ worth listenin’ to on the
radio, you and the Slayer are sacked out like the dead… I was thinkin’ up the numerous ways I was goin’ to kill Quentin Travers when I got my hands on him
but then I realized that I was wastin’ my time, the
Slayer probably won’t let me do any of the things I want to…” Buffy rambled on, glancing over
at Dawn she saw the teen staring at her with something akin to amazement.
“What?”
“I thought
Will was joking when he said he thought you suffered from ADD but…”
“I do not have an Attention Deficit Disorder,”
Buffy protested. “I just get bored easily…you try sittin’
in a car with nothing to do for hours on end and…”
“You know
Will would have drove if you wanted…”
“Alive now niblet… kind of want to stay that way.”
“Well one of
the others could have, I think Xander’s getting tired of riding with Giles. I
thought they were going to kill each other at the last rest stop.”
“There’s no
way I’m riding in the same car as Harris, I trust him behind the wheel of a car
I’m riding in just slightly more than I trust the Slayer… Watcher feels the
same way, why do you think he hasn’t let someone else behind the wheel of that
tin can he calls a car…”
“Because
he’s still making payments on it.”
“There is that,”
Buffy grinned. “At least it’s not that red thing that he had when he was goin’ through his identity crisis.”
“You mean
the convertible? I liked the convertible.”
“You would
bit.”
With that the
two fell into a comfortable silence, Buffy tapping her fingers against the
steering wheel, periodically snapping her gum as she kept Giles’ car within her
sites.
The quiet
was actually soothing this time, the former vampiress content to sit in the car
silently with the two people that she loved more than anything else.
The two
people that she never thought would ever have anything to do with her after
what she had almost done to William.
“Why did you
do it?” Dawn’s voice was quiet and a quick glance at her face showed a quiet
earnestness that Buffy had never before seen there.
Face paling,
hands gripping the steering wheel as she fought to quell the queasiness rising
in her. Quick eyes to the mirror showed the Slayer still asleep, she’d known
that one of the Scooby’s would call her on what she’d almost succeeded in
doing; she’d just never thought it would be Dawn.
Part of her
had hoped that she would never have to explain her actions to the youngest Summers.
“It’s
complicated Dawn,” she said softly.
“Everything’s
always complicated,” Dawn muttered. “Was it because of what happened with
William?”
“What?”
Buffy turned to look at her in confusion, her eyes swinging between the road
and the young girl staring at her.
She suddenly
felt like she had missed part of the conversation that she was currently
engaged in… either that or she and Dawn were talking about two totally
different things.
“Why did you
try and get your chip out?” Dawn said slowly and with clear enunciation, her
tone sarcastically quiet in only a way that teenagers could appropriately pull
off.
“Get my chip
out?” she repeated, feeling oddly enough like a parrot. Any minute now she felt
like she was going to be asking Dawn if she wanted a cracker.
“Yes your
chip? You know the reason that you went to
“The lot of
you thought I went all the way to
“Well… yeah…
I mean what else would you have gone for?” Dawn stared at her in confusion.
“Then there was Angelus… he kept saying that you’d been tricked, that you’d passed
the trials or whatever and they made you what they wanted instead of what you
wanted. So hence chip removal thought.”
Dawn watched
her friend remain silently still and when she couldn’t take that silent
treatment any more she finally broke it. “Buffy?”
“I didn’t go
to get my chip out,” Buffy said softly, so softly that Dawn had trouble hearing
her. “I went to get a soul.”
“A
soul?” Dawn asked
eyes widening. “You went to
“Yeah…
probably not my brightest idea but yeah… a soul,” Buffy laughed harshly. “Got
way more than that, didn’t realize that the soul came with a free ‘relive your
whole horrible life over again’ card… emphasis on the livin’
part there bit.”
“You went to
get a soul… why… why…”
“Why would I
do that?” she asked softly. “You don’t know how bad things had gotten, when the
Slayer kept insistin’ that things were over, he
wouldn’t let me help, nothin’ I did was either good
enough or right enough…” she shook her head, and Dawn thought she saw tears
glinting in her eyes. “What happened in the bathroom right before I left… well
that was just the straw that broke the proverbial camels back. Somethin’ had to give, had to change. I knew that the
Slayer wouldn’t be the one to give, he’d never change, he’d never love me, never
forgive me for what I’d done so…”
“So you
decided to change,” Dawn murmured, her own eyes
filling with tears at what was being left unsaid. “You weren’t going to come
back were you?”
“No,” Buffy
said stiffly. “I wasn’t. The soul was my way of tellin’
him that he’d won, that he’d beaten me, not that he’d ever know it of course. Had to have some dignity after all. Then there was some
romantic, long since buried part of me that hoped he’d see what I’d done for
him and understand, that maybe he’d be able to love me with the soul, though I
know that’s as likely to happen as pigs are to fly.”
“But he
does…” Dawn protested weakly. “When you were gone, he wouldn’t say anything but
I know he was worried. I mean he kept your duster and everything…”
“I didn’t say
he didn’t care about me Dawn… he does in his own way. But that’s not love…
it’ll never be,” with a rueful smile at the sad faced teen she once more
concentrated on the road. “Why don’t you find one of the sickeningly sweet
bubble gum stations you like.”
With a
slight nod of her head the teen turned her attention to the radio, Buffy’s
attention remained on the road and neither noticed the Slayer was no longer
sleeping in the back seat.
With a heavy
heart he studied the back of Buffy’s head and realized that regardless of what
he said, of what he did to try and prove himself to her… Buffy would never
believe that he felt anything besides casual friendship for her. All the angry
words that he’d spoken to her, all the brutal things he’d done to her in the past
were now being held against him and he had no idea how to counteract them.
He’d told
her once that he’d never love her and she so believed
it now that nothing short of a message from god was going to make her see the
truth of the strength of his feelings for her.
Everyone
could see how he felt about her save for the one person that needed to see it…
and he wondered what it was going to take for her to see it.
For
her to believe it.
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