The true and Untold Story

Once upon a time, there was a polygamist and he had lots and lots of kids, as much kids as Langley ward has single people. He also had a plethora of wives, (six, to be exact). Now, this polygamist had an important calling, for he was the ward clerk, and we all know that the ward clerk works too hard. (except for Waide! J/k). He had meetings every night of the week, except Sundays, when he had them all day long, beginning with prayer meetings at 6 am. One day his overbearing 3rd wife demanded him to spend time with just her offspring, and no one else's. He thought that this was just way out of the question, for he had his calling to fulfill, and he had to schedule the Bishop's life, including the golfing outings and poker games which happened on Mondays (of which he not only scheduled, but was an avid participant). He kindly declined her request, saying that he, of course being the priesthood holder, had to look good in the eyes of the Brethren.

This wife, being of the overbearing type, marched right on down to Brother Joseph's house and started doing what women do best, she started complaining with the wives of some of the brethren. "Well, I'm just so sick of not getting to spend any time with my husband, and his other wives are just so annoying! They hang on his every word, they knit and sew all day long, and they have to make the perfect meat pot pie. Annnnnooyyying!""Yeah, well you should just be happy that they don't have thier poker games at your house. It takes me three days after Monday just to get that nasty juice off the floors! I tell you, those men have absolutely no aim when it comes to chaw!""oh, yeah? Well get this, at least your harvest wasn't plowed down so that the men could spend their Monday afternoons out in nature hitting a stupid ball into a little hole! You'd think they could create little areas of grass, with things in the way so that it was more challenging!!""Yeah, well, I have spent innumerable hours in the stream trying to get out the stains from my curtains after the men have their Monday brunch with their pipes. The smoke that comes off those things causes the blackest of stains. and the other day, Jeremiah set one of my lace curtains on fire! I almost marched straight down to Eliza's house to chastise her, but my husband soothed me. He promised me a new pinafore."

Brother Joseph happened to be on the porch, smoking his pipe, his coffee touched with soothing liquor on the wicker table, the spitoon from his chewing tobacco at his feet. He smiled in spite of himself, just knowing that there was nothing wrong with what they were doing, it was all church business. Just then, a huge gust of wind came through the porch, knocking over his coffee onto the lap of his brand new britches, which caused him to kick his foot out, toppling the spittoon all over his brand new boots, which caused him to drop his pipe on his shirt, which singed his shirt sleeve. If that wasn't enough, the deck of cards that he had had in his pocket fell out and were taken off, one by one, into the wind, never to be seen again. Brother Joseph was so upset at this point that he grabbed his new "hit the ball in the ground" stick and started beating the wicker table with it, all the while a slew of naughty words escaped his mouth. The ruckus was so loud and frightful, the women, who were already so deep into their gossip ring that usually nothing would disturb them, came running out onto the porch to see what was the matter.

Brother Jo calmed himself enough to explain that he had just had a revelation, and that from here on out there will be no coffee, alcohol, tobacco, that all fields were to be planted with wheats and grains, and that Monday nights would now be spent at home with all the families, and all the children.The women were so excited by the news that they didn't even notice anything out of ordinary about Joseph's disheveled appearance. Only Joseph was to know that the reason that he said all those things is because they were the vices that attacked him with that gust of wind. His cards were gone, and, of course, he could no longer play hit the ball in the little hole because he had just mutilated his playing stick. "oh, well," thought Joseph, "that sister in there just gave me a great idea, we can create small little areas of grass and put the animals in the way and try to hit it in the hole around them. Even the little kids could do that, and the ladies as well!"

Joseph was getting very excited at this point, and immediately went and built the first ever "mini hit the ball in the little hole" course, which of course, later became known as "mini golf (from where, I don't know). Families from all over would travel (all the wives and kids and all) to Brother Joseph's house on Monday nights, since they no longer had meetings. Brother Joseph's next door neighbor, Jared Baskin, and his eigth wife Robin all the kids from all his wives began making ice cream all week long to sell to the families that were coming over.

Thus began two traditions, family home evening on Monday nights, and mini golf and Baskin robbins ice cream.

Epilogue: The Ward clerk had a much happier existence, because wife number three no longer nagged him about spending time with them, and although all wives and kids were together Monday evenings, she got him to herself every Monday night, and it was good.