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"Comfort" |
~oh God, what am I doing here?~ Here I stand. The door is right in front of me. I can’t even knock. What am I expecting anyway? Even if he answered what do I do next? What am I supposed to say.? “Hey Chester, I love you. I had an incredibly wild dream about you.” God, it sounds stupid even in my head. It’s not that I’ll say it that way. It’s the fact that I even feel this way. I’ve known Chester for a while now. Not even that long. But the minute I saw him, I knew I wanted him. His glistening blonde hair and adorable smile made me melt inside. It always sent my blood rushing to my crotch. I had to leave. I couldn’t even be around him for a couple of days. Every time I saw I got aroused. I couldn’t risk getting aroused around the guys. They would suspect something. They’ve never known how I feel about him. At first, they thought I hated Chester. Rob even asked me if I didn’t want Chester in the band. They said that I was avoiding him all the time. Mike told me if I had a problem with him to just say it. Boy, they had no idea. Strangely enough, I found the courage to make my presence known. I knocked on his door and patiently waited. Five seconds later I came face to face with a sweaty, giggling Chester. “Hey, what’s up?” he asked through a fit of laughter. “Nothing. I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out, “I mumbled shyly. “Umm... I’m in the middle of something right now,” he pants. His door is opened slightly and I see an equally sweaty Mike holding a fake dart gun. He gives me a quick smile and I turn my attention back to Chester. However, his attention’s not on me anymore. He and Mike have started shouting threats at each other. I can see I’m not needed here. I walk away. My heart drops as I walk downstairs. I need to get to get out of here for a bit. I’ll go to the store. I grab my jacket and head outside. I don’t use the car too much. It’s too fast. I need time to relax and dream of my next encounter with Chester. I’m in the middle of watching nothing on TV when I hear footsteps come down the stairs. I look up and see Phoenix. “ Phoenix, what’s up?” I call to him. Strange. He didn’t hear me. He must have something on his mind. He’s always thinking. I doubt his mind ever shuts off. He grabs his jacket and heads out. Knowing him, he’s probably headed for the store. His favorite hangout. I follow him. As usual I forget my jacket. I barely wear it anyway. He’s not far from me so I call out to him. I run to his side. Tears are slowly dripping down his face. “ Phoenix, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” He ignores me and continued walking. I hate seeing him crying. I know why he’s crying. He doesn’t have to tell me. It’s Chester. If only he’d forgot about him. He’d be much happier. I step in front and do something I should’ve done a long time ago. I grab his face and plant a kiss on his lips. He pulls back, shocked. He wipes his mouth and storms back to the house. I run after him, hoping to catch him but he’s too fast. When I get back to the house I slam into Joe. What the hell just happen? Did Rob just kiss me? Why? Oh God. I let him. Now Chester will never want me. He’ll hate me. I’m tainted. I ran back to the house. Maybe I can explain to him what happened and he’ll forgive me. I hope. I run upstairs and knock on his door for the second time today. I turn the handle and the door opens. I step inside and then everything went black. When I come to, Rob is sitting next to me. I look around and see all my stuff. I must be back in my room. Flashes of Mike and Chester pass my eyes. Why? What does Mike have that I don’t? Bastard! “ Phoenix, are you okay. You passed out. What happened?” Rob asks me softly. “Nothing. I just didn’t feel well,” I lied. “Liar. It’s about Chester and Mike isn’t it. How could you not know that they were together. Chester doesn’t love you. You shouldn’t want him either.” I can’t believe he just said that. What the hell does he know? I love Chester...I think. Wait, he knows about Chester. Shit. “I love you,” he whispered. He leaned in and gave me a kiss. Oh fuck. What’s going on? He loves me. Rob loves me. Oh well. I may as well give in to him. Chester gave into Mike. “I love you too,” I whisper in his ears. Maybe one day that would be true right now I just need comfort. |
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