* * *
Part 6
The baby’s crying awakened Joseph. He had been dreaming again, dreaming about Margaret and their days together. It had been nearly five years since she died of massive hemorrhaging due to yet another miscarriage. They had tried so desperately to have other children after David was born, and all of their attempts had failed.
He had often wondered if it was a punishment for having an illegitimate child. Margaret had conceived their son so easily, but was unable to do the same afterward. The few times she had, she miscarried. When she died, Joseph’s eyes were opened to his son and how much he was like his mother.
The first few weeks alone together were very quiet. Then, as Joseph began to obsess about his wife and discovering how much of her his own son had inherited, he was constantly angered and taking it out on his son. This was also the time he discovered that David had inherited his temper.
Often times, their tempers would flare before exploding into violent arguments and colorful language. David was so much like Margaret that Joseph couldn’t be around him. Though their fists never flew at each other, their arguments constantly harmed them. Not three months after Margaret died had David run away.
Joseph’s heart began to ache along with his chest. Oh, he missed Margaret so much. He could remember that after David was born, he used to look at her and freeze completely because she took his breath away. The same had happened before their mistake of making love in his uncle’s barn loft. In between those times, things had been tense between them.
He thought of Bumlets, David’s friend. He hoped that everything was faring well for him and his girl. He reminded him of himself when he and Margaret were still only lovers and unmarried. The way he looked when he had asked him to close his eyes and describe his girl was the same way he would describe Margaret back then.
‘Oh, Margaret.’ He thought. ‘Every time I hear the baby cry I yearn for those moments we had together when David was just a baby. We were so much in love then. Why did we have to keep trying to have children? If we both hadn’t been so stubborn, you’d still be alive.’
His head throbbed, as did his chest and legs. Something was wrong with him. Karen and David had been pressing him to see a doctor. Though he had said that he did, he had lied. He had been having these pains a long time. They would go away soon enough.
As he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, the dreams of Margaret danced in his head. He could see her clearly: her lovely brown hair, deep blue eyes, milky white skin, her radiant smile that sent his pulse racing. She reached her hand out to him. He reached out his own to touch her hand, and there was always space between them so that they could not touch.
It was morning when he awakened next. He missed Margaret so much. This particular morning, the longing for her seemed worse than ever. He sat up and glanced at his clock. Nine twenty-three.
Nine twenty-three? He leapt from his bed. He had overslept by two hours and twenty-three minutes. Throwing his clothes on, he dragged himself down the stairs and to the kitchen. He found Kay there, nursing the baby. She glanced up at him once he entered.
“I’m sorry.” He said. “I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“It’s all right.” She said, draping a nearby blanket over herself. “David was going to wake you up, but the baby cried so much that I thought you heard him. We decided you should sleep in.”
“Thanks. And yes, I did hear the baby cry.” He poured himself some coffee. “Where is David?”
“In the shop. He finished the table and set that was ordered by the Bakers. They’ll be coming by this afternoon to pay and pick it up.”
He nodded and sipped the coffee, then went into the shop. He found Pie Eater sawing off some wood to begin work on another table they were to make. He glanced up at his father.
“Mornin’, pa.” He said. “Have a nice sleep?”
“Yes, I’m well rested.”
“That’s good. Drink yer coffee, then you cin gimme a hand with this table.”
Joseph did as he was told and finished his drink. For the next hour, they worked on the table and had it almost completely fashioned when the door opened. They expected a customer, but it was not. It was Bumlets.
“Hey, Bumlets!” Pie Eater exclaimed.
“Hey.” He said, stepping forward.
“Whatcha doin’ here?”
“Gotta ask ya a huge favor.” he set his stack of papers on the front desk. “Can I stay ‘ere a few days?”
“Why for?” Joseph wondered, intruding.
“I’m gonna go job huntin’. I’m takin’ yer advice, sir, an’ I’m gonna tell Seven ‘bout Mary t’night, then I’m gonna go job huntin’. When I find one, I’m gonna see if she still loves me an’ if she’ll marry me. If she changes ‘er mind, I’ll just go on with my life.”
“She won’t change ‘er mind, ya bum.” Pie Eater slapped him on the back. “I know ‘er good enough t’ know that she really does love ya.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“An’ sure, you cin stay with us as long as ya like.”
“David,” Joseph said.
“Yep?”
“We have no place to put him.”
“Ah, that’s okay.” Bumlets defended. “I cin sleep b’hind th’ desk. I’m fine sleepin’ on the floor.”
“Ya sure?” Pie Eater wondered.
“I’m sure.”
“Then feel free t’ stay ‘n’ make yourself at home.”
“Thanks, but I can’t right now. I still got papes t’ sell.”
* * *
Seven tapped her fingers on the tabletop, waiting. It was eight forty right now. In five minutes, Bumlets should be here to tell her whatever it was that was on his mind. All the other newsies were gone by now, as were the rest of the regular diners. She was alone here besides Bill, Frank, and a few other employees.
Bill came out and wiped the tables down with a faded yellow cloth. When he saw the lone newsgirl, he went to check on her to see how she was doing.
“Are you waiting for someone, Seven?” he wondered.
“Yes.” she replied. “Bumlets is supposed to meet me here.”
“I see. You do know that the joint closes in twenty minutes.”
“I know. Bumlets will be here, I promise.”
“Then while you’re waiting, would you like another lemonade?”
She lifted her empty glass. “Please.”
He took the glass and went to the kitchen area. It was then that Bumlets finally appeared. He quickly scanned over the empty room and found Seven at a table in the corner. He saw her and waltzed over to her. Before he took a seat, he bent down and kissed her cheek.
“You’re early.” He said.
“I know. I’ve been waiting for you.”
He nodded. “Sorry t’ keep ya waiting. It’s jus’ hard f’ me to tell ya what I’m gonna.”
Bill returned with a full glass of lemonade, complete with ice and a straw. He set it before Seven and drew away.
“This one’s on the house.”
“Thanks, Bill.” She nodded to him.
“Bill,” Bumlets said.
“Yes?”
“Cin ya make it so no one comes in ‘ere till we’re done talkin’? What I got t’ say is real important, an’ I don’t want no one else t’ hear.”
Bill understood, and out of his sheer generosity, he turned the sign on the door to “closed.” Then he left the two alone.
“Why are you leaving, exactly?” Seven questioned.
“Two reasons. One, I’m lookin’ for a new job ‘n’ a place t’ live.”
“You said that this afternoon when you told the newsies you were leaving.”
“Th’ second is that what I’m about t’ tell ya is gonna be so surprisin’ that it’s best if we don’t see each other in th’ next few days.”
This deeply intrigued Seven. Never since they met had he ever said anything like that to her. She was partially expecting that he had asked her here during such a quiet time to propose to her. Now, she had the feeling that she may reconsider her reply if he was going to propose.
When he reached over and took her hand, she could feel the sweat on his palms. She looked at his face and saw fear and nervousness, all of which confused her. What was wrong?
“Bumlets, what’s this all about?” she inquired.
It was now or never. Drowning out every pessimistic voice telling him not to go through with this, he began to speak.
“Somethin’ you need t’ know about.” he began. “Before we met, there was anuther newsgirl here. ‘Er name was Mary.”
“I’ve heard some newsies speak of her.”
“She was a friend of mine. We weren’t real close, but we was friends nonetheless. But I think she liked me a little bit.”
She grinned faintly. “I wouldn’t blame her.”
He ignored her gesture. “I’ll never know for sure. But after we became friends, we found out we had more in common than we thought. My gramma died, ‘n’ her favorite cousin died around th’ same time.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I was real upset, ‘n’ so was Mary. Afta gramma’s funeral, I went t’ this old, abandoned warehouse where gramma told me she used t’ work. Since it was th’ only other place I knew of, I went there cuz I wanted t’ feel close to ‘er. What I din’t know till later was that Mary was followin’ me.”
“Why did she do that?”
“I’ll get t’ that later. But when I was alone inside th’ warehouse, I started cryin’. I cried a lot. I missed gramma a lot, an’ I wanted ‘er with me cuz I wanted her t’ kiss my cheek ‘n’ say that she loved me. I wanted t’ feel ‘er arms around me again, knowin’ she was always gonna love me.”
He made a brief pause after that. Glancing at Seven’s face, he could see the curiosity in her eyes that wanted to know what happened afterward. Carefully, he drew his hand away from hers. It would be best if he did not touch her from now till after he returned from his job search.
“What happened next, Seven, you’re not gonna wanna hear.” He warned. “But you need t’ know this.”
“Why won’t I wanna hear it?”
“Ya won’t. I guarantee it. But ya gotta swear t’ me that ya’ll listen t’ every word I say, ‘n’ that ya won’t tell a soul about it either.”
“I swear upon Spot Conlon’s head. If I tell one person of what you tell me, he will go bald.”
He nodded, satisfied. “Okay.” Sighing, he continued. “I was in th’ warehouse, by myself, cryin’ ‘n’ thinkin’ about gramma when I heard a noise. I looked up ‘n’ I saw Mary. Her eyes were red. She was crying too.
“She came up t’ me an’ said she knew how I felt. She told me ‘bout her cousin ‘n’ how they was such good friends. An’ I told ‘er ‘bout my gramma bein’ my last family still livin’ an’ how I wanted ‘er here t’ tell me that she loved me. Then I asked ‘er why she’d followed me. She said she knew I was hurting as much as she was ‘n’ that she din’t think I should be alone.
“She came up t’ me an’ put ‘er arms around me. Then I hugged ‘er back an’ we both started cryin’. We both cried for a while. Then she started talkin’ again an’ said that she wished there was somethin’ she could do t’ make me feel better.
“I din’t realize it at first, but she was holdin’ me in a weird way. My head was right up against…’er bosom. She was implyin’ that…we make each other feel better in the same way.”
Seven’s head lowered. She was sensing the danger involved and already denying the conclusions that formed in her head. Setting her elbows on the table, she held her face with her hands to support herself as Bumlets continued.
“When I realized what she meant, I started feelin’ hot all over. I knew I wanted comfort of any kind t’ make me feel better. But I din’t want hers cuz I din’t love ‘er. So I grabbed ‘er arm an’ I said that I din’t wanna feel better. Then she kissed my forehead.
“Her kiss was what changed my mind. She was willin’ t’ let me take ‘er. I was weak, ‘n’ she was offerin’ me somethin’ that I couldn’t refuse at th’ time. So I kissed ‘er mouth. An’ things started happenin’.”
Seven had now covered her entire face with her hands so that Bumlets could not see her. She was trembling all over and using every ounce of her strength to keep herself from crying or bursting into anger.
“We…Seven, this’s hard for me t’ tell. You cin go ahead ‘n’ cry if ya need to.”
“No.” she whispered faintly. “Just go ahead and keep talking.”
He knew that every word he spoke to her from here on was going to inflict damage. But she needed to know the details of what went on between him and Mary. And he needed to know if she still loved him, even after what he did.
“You already know what went on.” He continued. “But it didn’t last long. Maybe only five minutes. Cuz th’ first minute, I was only thinkin’ of how I was a man now ‘n’ how powerful I’d be now that I’d taken a girl. But then…somethin’ happened t’ me. I became…confused. I wasn’t feelin’ any comfort from what we was doing.
“Then I suddenly realized what I was doin’. I was usin’ a girl t’ make me feel better. An’ she was usin’ me so she would feel better. We was just usin’ each other. It began t’ bother me. An’ then I thought of one more thing. I thought of you.”
“Me?” Seven whispered, her voice trembling. “I thought you said this was three months before we met.”
“It was. But I knew that I was never gonna love Mary, an’ that there was ‘nuther girl out there waitin’ for me. I wasn’t supposed t’ be with Mary. I was supposed t’ be with another girl. An’ then I got embarrassed an’ guilty cuz Mary ‘n’ me were still goin’ on with this. I knew we couldn’t keep doin’ this.
“We was friends before this, but I knew once we both got away from each other at the same time that we wasn’t gonna be friends anymore. What we’d done destroyed our friendship. An’ we’d destroyed each other. Once we got away from each other, we turned our backs an’ started apologizin’. I said that what we was doin’ wasn’t right an’ she said that she knew.
“I dunno how many times we said we was sorry for those five minutes, but it din’t do any good. We put our clothes back on an’ she said she was goin’ home. I said I’d be along later. But I lied. I went t’ the nearest church ‘n’ got on my knees ‘n’ prayed to God above that ‘e’d forgive me for what I done.”
He glanced up but momentarily to peek at Seven. Her hands were covering her entire face, and her fingernails were digging into her scalp. Tiny pieces of white dandruff were covering her fingertips and the back of her hands. He wanted to touch her, but knew he couldn’t. If he touched her now, he would ruin everything.
“That wasn’t th’ only church I went to. I was t’ six other churches after that. I even went t’ a Catholic church t’ confess my sins to a priest. I was so angry at myself ‘n’ Mary for what we did, an’ I didn’t know how t’ make it better.
“I came up with a solution that I din’t wanna go through with. I thought Mary ‘n’ me should get married. But I din’t love ‘er, an’ after that, she didn’t even like me anymore. We couldn’t even talk t’ each other. Each time we even looked at each other, we’d both remember what we did ‘n’ turn our backs.
“This went on for two months. An’ then Mary had ‘nough an’ said she was leavin’. We din’t even say goodbye to each other. She jus’ left, jus’ like that.” He snapped his fingers. “A couple months ago we met up ‘n’ she told me she was gettin’ married. An’ I went to her wedding.
“When I went, I din’t know what I was gonna feel. But as she said ‘er vows, I knew that she was thinkin’ about me in th’ back ‘er mind. We took somethin’ away from each other that we was supposed t’ give the people we love. I looked at ‘er husband an’ knew he wasn’t gonna get the best of her cuz I got it.”
He could hear her heave a trembling sigh. Her hands were moving away from her face, but her head was still bent down so that he couldn’t see her face.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I know what I gotta say. I know this was hard for ya t’ hear. But ya needed to know why I couldn’t say that I loved ya. I wanted t’ say those words, I swear. But what Mary ‘n’ me did…it destroyed me so that I couldn’t give you my best.”
“I don’t want your best.”
“But you’re th’ one who’s supposed t’ have it. Seven,” he reached for her hand, then withdrew. “Seven, this is ‘nuther reason why I’m leaving. I know you, you’re gonna need time t’ let this sink in. But I’ll tell ya this: what Mary ‘n’ me did was the biggest mistake of my life. If I could go back an’ erase it just for you, I would.”
She slowly lifted her head. Her eyes were glistening, but he knew her well enough to know that she would not allow any tears to flow. Her hands were quivering.
“I wish you would’ve told me sooner.” She whispered.
“I wish I coulda too.” He pushed his chair back and rose to his feet. “I’m gonna go now. I’ll be back in about a week.” He sighed. “I wish I could kiss ya now, but if I do, we’re both gonna regret it.”
As he walked away, he could feel her eyes on him the entire time. Once he exited the building, he looked back through the window to find her hunched over with her hands covering her face again. Sighing again, he turned his back.
He knew that she would possibly need more than a week before he saw her again. He also knew her well enough to know that two tears had broken through her defenses and were falling down her face right now.
* * *
The baby was sleeping, yet Pie Eater lay wide awake, staring upward at the ceiling. Bumlets was downstairs, sleeping on the floor because of his need to be away from Seven. Pie Eater found that his thoughts were dwelling upon what his friend had told him.
He wondered what would have happened if Bumlets had become a father. He would someday make a wonderful father, Pie Eater was sure of that. But if Mary had borne his child, would he still be with her today? Pie Eater couldn’t imagine anyone else besides Seven being the mother of Bumlets’s child.
‘I wonder what Seven’s going through right now.’ He thought. ‘I know she’s the type who keeps everything bottled up inside and will let it explode unless it’s forced out of her. And she keeps her secrets till death. Is what Bumlets told her going to change her in ways she never thought of?’
Twilight was her best friend, he hoped that she would care for Seven during this time. He was aware that the relationship they shared was very unique. Though they often kept secrets from each other, each one could tell when the other was troubled about something in their life. Pie Eater was dead sure that Twilight would suspect that what was wrong with Seven had to do with Bumlets.
Shifting onto his side, Pie Eater shut his eyes. For several months now, he had been able to picture Bumlets and Seven marrying and building a life together as he and Kay were now. Yet as he attempted to picture them now, it seemed blurry, as though it had changed. Could what Bumlets had done sever what he had with Seven?
Kay stirred, and he felt a tiny shock through his body as her foot brushed his. He smiled, then began to wonder what would have happened if he were in Bumlets’ shoes. He had thought of having sex with Kay before they were married, but knew better due to his parents’ situation with him.
He couldn’t imagine his life without Kay. If he had been with another woman before her as Bumlets had been before Seven, he didn’t know where he would be now.
Sighing, he pushed all of his thoughts away. It was late, and he needed his rest. Before he fell asleep, he said a prayer for his friend and Seven, praying for the best to come of their relationship.
Downstairs, Bumlets lay awake as well. He thought of Pie Eater being in his bedroom with his wife beside him and their son nearby. If he had not done what he had with Mary, he was sure that he and Seven would be where Pie Eater and Kay were today.
Putting the event behind him had been what had seemed to him the toughest part. He had never anticipated that the agony of wondering whether Seven still loved him or not would be ten times worse than he had thought. He was afraid of her dealing with his confession, but even more afraid of losing her.
He stared up at the ceiling and reminisced of the day they met. He could never forget those first electric shocks through his body the first time he touched her. It was as though he had been struck by lightning: this was the girl he would love forever.
Last Christmas, she had introduced him to her last living relative, her Aunt Diana. When she did not approve of her niece’s choice for a boy, she stood up for him and did all of the defending by herself. Eventually, Aunt Diana accepted Seven’s decision and grew to respect him. This was the time when he was almost convinced she loved him as much as he did her.
Should she choose to leave him now, he knew for a fact that he would never stop loving her. Something about the way he felt when he touched her even the slightest bit was proof enough that she was the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Did she feel the same around him?
He thought of the qualities they had in common. They both enjoyed books, toasting their toes by the fire, staring at beautiful outdoor scenery, listening and singing to music, dancing, an adoration of animals and children…especially children. There were times when Seven would stop on the streets to say hello to a little child. Everyone knew she would someday make a good mother.
Yet as he thought of her being a mother, he thought of the things that he did not know about her. A few weeks prior, he had thought he knew everything there was to know about her. He was dead wrong. The more time he spent with her, the more depths of her soul he uncovered. There was so much about her. He could spend three lifetimes with her and still not know everything about her.
‘What is it about women?’ he wondered. ‘They’ve got so many secrets and hiding places…they’re like puzzles that you can never solve.’ Spending a lifetime trying to figure her out would be quite an adventure, even if it would never end and even leave him in suspense about other places unexplored.
Specs and Dutchy used to tease him about being so easy to read. If this was so, what he had told Seven must have caught her completely off guard. He may not be as complex as she, but he still had his few unexplored depths that she was unaware of.
‘Oh Seven, I want you to know all of me. And I want to know all of you. But what I told you, is this going to drive you away? There’s been a piece to me missing since the day I was born and you are that piece. Do you even know that? We’re both puzzles, Seven. Only you’re more complex. But we’re both the pieces to each other to be completed. Please, don’t dismiss me. I love you.’
Shifting to a more comfortable position, he attempted to fall asleep again. Just once he wished he could kiss her lips, just so to feel complete. But he refused to see her at all until he gave her the time and space she needed.
‘And maybe, just maybe, that’ll prove to her that I truly love her.’
* * *
