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| Things to do when you're bored at WALMART |
| 1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day |
| 2. Put M&M's on layaway |
| 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares", and see what happens |
| 4. Tune all the radios to a Polka station: then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10" |
| 5. Challenge other costumers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. |
| 6. Make a trail of Orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms |
| 7. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted area |
| 8. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath |
| 9. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" |
| 10. Look right into the security camara, and use it as a mirror while you floss your teeth |
| 11. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battle field with G.I. Joes vs X-Men |
| 12. Ask other costumers if they have any Grey Poupon |
| 13. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are |
| 14. Switch the Men and Women signs on the doors of the rest rooms |
| 15. Dart around suspiciously while humming the tune from "Mission Impossible" |
| 16. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store |
| 17. Sit on a chair and read a book for hours |
| 18. Hide in the clothing racks, and when people browse through, say things like "Pick me! Pick me!" |
| 19. When an anouncement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "No, no! It's those voices again!!" |
| 20. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it |
| 21. Go into the dressing room, and yell relly loud: "Hey! We're out of tiolet paper in here!" |
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