| Great Things About Being An Indian |
| Can I still say that? Is "Indian" the politically correct word? Maybe I'm a First Nations person, or Native American, or Rez guy, (I should say Rez person). Whatever the politically correct word is, it's still great to be one of them. These are the great things about being a Native Canadian/American. There is some element of truth in this. (I think) |
| 1. An Indian can get away with saying stuff like "Indian" and not offend anyone. 2. There does not seem to be any atheists amongst the Indian peoples. They all believe in some greater being, Creator, God. Of course I have know way to verify this, but from my experiences I have not met an Indian atheist. 3. Everything is spiritual. A spiritual experience can be just about drawn from anything. 4. Non-native people and sometimes even our own people believe everything we say and every story we tell them. Like the time I was in Montana with my friends and we went to eat in this restaurant. This lady comes up to us, she was kind of drunk and not to coherent, we thought she wanted money. Because this kind of thing happens to us all the time back home, people coming up to us and asking for change for a cup of coffee, or to catch a bus. Well, she comes up to my brother and tells him "your my son!, your my son!" Of course he thinks she must be crazy, and says "that's impossible I'm from Canada , I don't even know you" But she persists in telling him that he is her son. She pulls out a picture of her son and shows it to him and to us, I have to admit it did look like him. But hey, he's my brother I grew up with him and I know he's not from Montana. We try to explain this to her, but she just wouldn't listen. Did you ever try to talk to a drunk person? You can't reason with them. So instead of trying to prove her wrong we just leave the restaurant to get in our car. As we are going to the car she catches up to us and grabs my brothers leg. She starts crying and keeps repeating '"don't go, your my son" and starts pulling his leg. Just like I'm pulling yours. (hahahaahahhahahaha) Always remember point 4. 5. We can get out of alot of trouble, and get away with certain things by saying the phrase "it's an Indian thing". For example showing up late for church, or not starting church on time. we can just say "Yeah, it's an Indian thing" and everybody is okay with that. 6. Alot of First Nations people have a good sense of humour, and can see the humourous side in just about any situation. Here is good story to illustrate this point. It seems that there was this old First nations person living near a town. Well he was out with horse one afternoon and as he was giving his horse water to drink at the river, his horse died. So this old man just leaves his horse there, by the river. The townsfolk found out about this and asked the old man to move his horse. The old man goes to his horse drags it about six feet and leaves it again. The townsfolk were not amused, so instead of going to the old man and asking him once again they drag the horse out of their themselves. What's so funny about that? The old Indian man, using his ingenuity, gets the town to move his horse for him rather than him having to move it himself. 7. An Indian can always blame everything on the Chief. Of course this is no good for the Chief, but that's why he gets the big bucks. (Unless he or she is a poor hunter, then they might only get small bucks or a couple of rabbits. I think if you look real close at the trees in the background you can see a rabbit. Wapos for all you cree speakers) 8. Every argument, disagreement, conflict can be solved by the two people getting together and sharing a meal. If an Indian person needs to solve a disagreement the best remedy is to take the other person out for a meal. That person will be your friend for life after that. 9. The treaties are your greatest resource. If you need a new computer or scanner you can always say that the elders negotiated for them in the treaties. If you need time off from work - "it's in the treaties". Works for just about any situation. 10. Every Non-native thinks every native knows every other native and is knowledgeable on each and every native issue, tribe and culture. Alot of fun can be had with this. 11. First Nations people love to sing and dance. A great song can be found and made out of anything as long as you put the right words in it. It has something to do with the spiritual thing. Woke up this morining, hey ya hey ya hey ya My dog was gone hey ya hey ya hey ya He must be hunting hey ya hey ya hey ya He won't be long, hey ya hey ya hey ya Got back this evening, hey ya hey ya hey ya My dog was home, hey ya hey ya hey ya He got two geese, hey ya hey ya hey ya I gave him the bones,, hey ya hey ya hey ya (soon to be a number one smash hit) 12. Every story a First Nations person tells has a point. It has to. To tell a story that has no point or meaning is like sacriliege or something. It guess that it seem that the First Nations people populated the east, such as places like China, Mongolia and such. The First Nations people crossed over the Bering Strait into Russia and settled in what is now China, Mongolia and the east. Why do you think we are called the First Nations and the people of India are called Indians? (:-o 13. The First Nations people are very tribal. Meaning that we look out for one anothers well being, especially our family and we are very supportive of any First Nations person who has done good. (for the most part anyway). I suppose if every Indian had the finances they would drive Pontiacs just because its named after a great Indian Chief. 14. All our men folk are good hunters. We can smell an owl in a tree a mile away. We can even tell you which direction it's facing. Of course, there's not much call for this kind of skill, so we don't let on that we can do it. |
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| See, there it is. Don't make any sudden moves. |