"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." George Carlin
"You are here." Many Maps
"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need." The Rolling Stones, "You Can't Always Get What You Want"
"Did you know that underneath their clothing, the entire population of the world is walking around completely naked? Is that disgusting?" Sam the Eagle from the Muppets
"The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success." Elliot Carver (Jonathan Pryce) in Tomorrow Never Dies
"I took a course in speed-reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia." Woody Allen
"Imagine all the people living life in peace." John Lennon, "Imagine"
"The future's uncertain, and the end is always near." The Doors, "Roadhouse Blues"
"If human beings can be replaced by machines, so can animals. That's something for you to sleep on." Father Guido Sarducci, years before Tamagotchis and robot pet dogs
"You can't spell dishonorable without honorable." Homer Simpson
"History shows again and again how nature points up the folly of men." Blue Oyster Cult, "Godzilla"
"We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by." Will Rogers
"It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing milkbone underwear." Norm Peterson (George Wendt) on Cheers
"Only a fool fights in a burning house." Kang (Michael Ansara) Star Trek episode "Day of the Dove"
"But you can't have everything. Where would you put it?" Steven Wright
"You should have two radios in case one gets broken." Lou Reed
"Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there's still time to change the road you're on." Led Zeppelin, "Stairway To Heaven"
"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel." Homer Simpson
"In this galaxy, there's a mathematical probability of three million Earth-type planets. And in all of the universe, three million million galaxies like this. And in all of that... perhaps more, only one of each of us." Dr. Leonard H. McCoy (DeForrest Kelley) on Star Trek
"The lion and the calf shall lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep." Woody Allen
"Gee. Do they still make wooden Christmas trees?" Linus Van Pelt, A Charlie Brown Christmas
"Christmas is the time to say I love you." Billy Squier
"Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart." Washington Irving
"The determined scholar and the man of virtue will not seek to live at the expense of injuring their virtue. They will even sacrifice their lives to preserve their virtue complete." Confucius
"The universe never did make sense. I suspect that it was built on a government contract." Robert A. Heinlein
"Oh sleep! It is a gentle thing, Beloved from pole to pole." Samuel Taylor Coleridge
"So long and thanks for all the fish." Douglas Adams
"Courage means going against majority opinion in the name of the truth." Vaclav Havel
"Money, it's a hit." Pink Floyd, "Money"
"Computers are useless - they only give you answers." Pablo Picasso
"There never was a good war or a bad peace." Ben Franklin
"Did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?" The Joker (Jack Nicholson) in Batman
"If women knew what men were thinking they would slap us every time they walked in the room." Larry McMurtry
"The most beautiful thing in the world is, of course, the world itself." Chuck Noland (Tom Hanks) in Cast Away
"Risk is our business." Capt. James T. Kirk (William Shatner) on Star Trek
"I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven." Milton Waddams (Stephen Root) in Office Space
"Things seen are mightier than things heard." Alfred Lord Tennyson
"Winter is the time for study, you know, and the colder it is the more studious we are." Henry David Thoreau
"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." Isaac Asimov
"Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable." Goethe
"If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything." Dr. Emmet L. Brown (Christopher Lloyd) in Back to the Future
Dave Nelson (Dave Foley): "Bill, haven't you ever heard the expression 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade?'" Bill MacNeil (Phil Hartman): "Dave, haven't you ever heard the expression 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for?'" Newsradio
"The story of the Simpson family began in the Old Country. I forget which one exactly. My dad would drone on and on about America. He thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread, sliced bread having been invented the previous winter." Grandpa Simpson
"Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those are dumber." Plato
"What man wants is simply independent choice, whatever that independence may cost and wherever it may lead." Fyodor Dostoevsky
"Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well - let 'em wait." last words of Ethan Allen, when told at his deathbed by a doctor that the angels were waiting for him
"Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems." Billy Joel, "Keeping The Faith"
"Be the change you want to see in the world." Mohandas Gandhi
"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." Douglas Adams
"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get." Homer Simpson
"I wouldn't ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was, you know, important - like a league game or something." Dick Butkus
"The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer." John Madden
"I am delighted to have you play football. I believe in rough, manly sports. But I do not believe in them if they degenerate into the sole end of any one's existence. I don't want you to sacrifice standing well in your studies to any over-athleticism, and I need not tell you that character counts for a great deal more than either intellect or body in winning success in life. Athletic proficiency is a mighty good servant, and like so many other good servants, a mighty bad master." Theodore Roosevelt
"People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society." Vince Lombardi
"The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it." William Gibson
"It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought." John Kenneth Galbraith
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." George Bernard Shaw
"I switched on the radio and nearly dropped dead, The news was so bad that I fell out of bed." The Kinks, "Superman"
"We have just religion enough to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another." Jonathan Swift
"As a matter of cosmic history, it has always been easier to destroy than to create." Spock (Leonard Nimoy) in Star Trek II
"Come on you raver, you seer of visions, come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine." Pink Floyd, "Shine On You Crazy Diamond"
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Voltaire
"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right." Grateful Dead, "Scarlet Begonias"
"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." Rush, "Freewill"
"When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle, and this will help things turn out for the best." Monty Python, "Life of Brian"
"Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing." Wernher von Braun
"The turth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts!" Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) in Naked Gun 2 1/2
"That's a great place to leave chocolate." Drewcifer
"There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there." Col. Harlan Sanders
"The best way to keep one's word is not to give it." Napoleon Bonaparte
"Character is much easier kept than recovered." Thomas Paine
"We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future." Criswell (as himself) in the intro to Plan 9 From Outer Space
"If things don't change, you're going to rot. Cause if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got." Aerosmith, "Get A Grip"
"Time's fun when you're having flies." Kermit the Frog
"Don't play dumb. You're not as good at it as I am." Col. Flagg (Edward Winter) on M*A*S*H