Fantasy Vacation- Chapter 5



I flung myself into Joey's arms. I was happy. If Joey said I was a fantastic photographer then that is what I'll do with my life. This was just so exciting. Too exciting.

I kissed Joey on the mouth several times, before moving away from him and jumping around.

I didn't notice the large rock as I was jumping. Suddenly I tripped. But before I could hit the ground I felt a pair of reassuring arms grab me. I fell into Joey's grasp.

"Woah, Lana. Calm down".

"Joey, when you found out you were going to be in a band were you excited?".

"Yeah".

"When you found out you had a record deal were you excited?".

"Obviously".

"Then how the hell can you ask me to calm down?".

"I dunno".

"Kiss me".

"Okay". Joey walked over to me and kissed me passionately. He placed his arms around my waist. I put mine around his neck, longing for closeness. I pulled him closer, kissing him deeper.

I started to crouch down. Joey followed my motions until we were sitting on the ground. I sat in his lap.

After a moment he pulled away. I sighed, discouraged.

"Didn't we... decide...to wait", he said breathing heavily. My eyes moved from his eyes to his lips. I didn't want to be obvious with the whole lip thing, but I couldn't help it. I wanted, no needed to be kissing him.

I stroked Joey's cheeks with my hands. "Lana", he whispered. I sighed unhappily for the second time then got off of Joey's lap. I walked over to the rock I had almost tripped over earlier. I sat on it. I rested my elbows on my thighs, and my chin in my hands.

Joey came over to me. He knelt in front of me. "Lana, you know...".

I interrupted him. "Save it, okay". Hurt radiated from my voice. This was agonizing. He had such a strong hold over me. I didn't understand it nor did I except it. All I need at this moment is to be kissing him. To be held in his arms. But I can't. And why not? Because he's either worried that I'll go over board or he will.

"I just want everything to be special", Joey said. His voice pleaded to be forgiven. I wasn't even really mad at him. I was mad at myself. Why did I have to be so dependent on Joey?

"I just have one question about this whole waiting thing". I lifted my head a little and looked into his eyes.

"Which is?".

"How long are we gonna wait?". Joey looked down. I know he had no idea what to say. It was a complicated question. How long was enough to wait? Or was this whole waiting thing ridiculous to begin with? Although I didn't want to pressure him.

"I was thinking on an emotional level". He looked back up at me. "I want to be in love before...". I guess I could understand that. Even if we had slept together at least twice. I still didn't want to wait, but oh well. I guess all good things come to those who wait. I laughed out loud. Joey looked puzzled.

"I didn't mean it to be funny". Joey said. I could tell that had pissed him off.

"Oh, no. I wasn't laughing at what you said. That was sweet. I was just thinking something funny".

"Oh".

"Joey, I respect your decision, even though I don't totally understand it. I just need to be able to kiss you". Joey smiled.

"I'm pretty AND irresistable".

"Yes you are".

"So...uh...what now?".

"We hug". I wrapped my arms around the man in front of me. I wanted to tell Joey I loved him. It wasn't because I wanted to sleep with him, it was just that it felt right. A little voice deep within me told me that. It was a persistant voice too.

I stroked Joey's hair lovingly and took in his scent. He always did smell good. Just like a man and cologne. Such a sexy scent.

I pulled Joey tighter to me. I didn't want to let go. At this exact moment Joey was my life line. If he let go I'd schrivel up and die.

I could feel Joey's arm move a little bit. He was checking Justin's watch.

"Lana", he whispered in my ear. It sent chills throughout my body. "It's 5:00". I reluctantly pulled away from Joey.

"We should start finding our way back to the ship, huh?".

"Yeah. I guess so". I picked up my bag and Joey and I began walking in the direction we originally came from. He took my hand.

Soon we could see the ship. Our day of island adventure was coming to a close rapidly.

Before we walked up the ramp I pulled Joey into a semi-secluded area.

I took his face in my hands and kissed him the way I needed to. When I pulled away Joey pulled me close again.

After a while the boat whistled. It was a sign to get on the boat because it was leaving soon. Joey and I seperated. We walked up the ramp and re-entered the ship.

"Can I stay in your room for tonight?", I asked Joey. "I don't know if Erin is still on the ship or not and I don't want to fight with her". Joey smiled.

"Be my guest".

"Alrighty then".

A couple of minutes later we entered Joey's room. He held the door open and I walked in. I sat down on his bed. Joey sat next to me. He took off his shoe's then leaned back on the bed.

"Getting comfortable?", I asked.

"Of course".

"When are we going to eat?".

"I dunno. Are you hungry?".

"Well, yeah. I haven't eaten since breakfast".

"Let's get dinner later. I really don't want to go anywhere just yet".

"Alright. What do you wanna do now?".

"Let's just sit here and watch tv".

"Wow, you're in an exciting mood", I joked. Joey grabbed the remote control off of the night stand and turned on the tv.

We watched tv for about the next ten minutes. By then I was extremely tired of the damn set.

"Joey, what was your first time like?".

"Not telling".

"Damn you". Joey chuckled.

"You shouldn't start bets you know you're gonna lose".

"I don't care. Joe, I'm really bored".

"That's nice". I hit his shoulder.

"Come on. I wanna do something".

"Later".

"Don't be so lazy".

"I'm not being lazy".

"Yes, you are".

"No, I'm not".

"Liar".

"I am not a liar".

"Fine then. Your twin brother, Joey, is a liar".

"Hahaha, you're just soo funny", Joey said dryly. I sat up and looked down at Joey.

"I know that I'm funny. You don't need to remind me".

"From now on I won't then".

"Good".

"Okay".

"Fine".

"Why are you still talking?".

"I feel like it".

"Why do you feel like it?".

"Because I'm bored. It's always good to talk when you're bored".

"Says who?".

"Me, dumbass".

"Don't call me a dumbass". Joey sat up next to me.

"Don't act like one".

"I am soo not a dumbass".

"Do you hear the way you're talking? You sound like a freakin' Valley Girl".

"I'm not a valley girl, nor am I a girl".

"There isn't anything wrong with being a girl".

"I know that. I just chose not to be one".

"You really don't have much of a choice".

"I could become a Drag Queen".

"Indeed you could".

"But I won't".

"But you'd make such a beautiful Drag Queen". I smiled toothily at Joey.

"I'm just an all around fabulously good looking human being". I moved over until I was sitting on Joey's lap. I lazily wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"Let's just say you're no ugly duckling".

"I'll take that as a compliment".

"Okay". Who the hell was I kidding? Joey was definitely a swan. He had one of those faces where you could stare at all day. His face shape alone was extraordinary. "What is this crap?". I motioned towards the tv.

"Duck Tails".

"Duck Tails?".

"It's a cartoon".

"Oh, really", I said sarcastically. "I've watched Duck Tails before", I finished.

"I'm sure you have. There are no cooler ducks then Hewey, Duey, and Louie".

"How old were you your first time?".

"Why do you keep bringing that up?".

"I want to win the bet".

"How old were you?".

"I'm not telling you until you tell me".

"Fine. I was 19". Joey blushed slightly. I could tell he was embarassed. Although I don't know why. Maybe he thinks that's old or something. What will he think when I tell him how old I was?. "How old were you?".

"I don't want to tell you".

"It can't be anymore embarassing then mine".

"Joey, I wish I had waited until I was 19". Joey looked at me intrigued. I knew he wasn't going to let this one go.

"Tell me".

"I don't wanna".

"I don't care what you want. Now tell me".

"I was ten years old". Joey looked shocked. I couldn't blame him.

"You were ten years old?". 

"Yes".

"How...why...what?".

"Joey, I told you the story".

"Yeah, but I thought you were like sixteen or something".

"I know".

"What about that guy Christian? How old was he?". I looked down ashamedly. This part seemed even worse for my story.

"He was twenty". Joey looked even more shocked. His eyes were bulging out of his head.

"You were ten and he was twenty?".

"Uh huh". Joey continues to stare at me. Disbelief was written all over his face. I knew he wouldn't understand this.

"Were you forced?".

"No". He continued to look at me incredulously.

"But...how?".

"Simple. I don't think I need to explain how people go about that sort of thing".

"No, you don't. It's just...so...unbelieveable".

"You don't believe me?".

"No! I mean yes! I mean yes, I believe you, no I don't not believe you. I'm sorry, Lana. I shouldn't judge. I heard the story right? I'll just drop this. Are you still hungry? We can go eat now if you want". I pondered it for a second. Joey's doubt had hurt. I was only ten and very irresponsable. It' not like my actions could be taken back.

"Maybe I'll go back to my room". I got off of Joey's lap and walked to the door.

"Don't go", Joey pleaded as I reached for the knob.

"I'm not in the mood to hang around you right now", I said simply. I pulled open the door. A heard a swift motion and suddenly Joey was right beside me.

"If you go to your room I'm going there to".

"Don't be this way, alright? I don't want to deal with anymore shocked expressions. I have had way to many disappointed and shocked faces in my life to deal with". Joey touched my upper arm, gripping it lightly.

"Please, stay with me. I can't even begin to describe how remorseful I am over the situation. Besides I wanna know what you meant when you said you've had to deal with lots of shocked and disappointed people. I just want to get to know you, Lana".

"Now is not the time".

"Come on, be fair about this. I said I was sorry".

Suddenly the moment of my first sexual experience flashed in my minds eye. I felt like I was reliving the moment without any feelings. "I was ten, as you know. I was working at a little store. It wasn't much, just a family owned buisness. Everyone always said I was very mature for my age. I wasn't completely mature but I seemed to be well on my way. It was summer time. That's when I first met Christian. He was definitely a handsome man. He was also incredibly trustworthy. Like a best friend of sorts. I don't need to tell you much about the night. I already explained some of it. I was scared and confused. Christian was my buddy, he wanted this so I did too. It wasn't the last time it happened either. Anytime we were alone he would touch me. He'd touch me in ways that make me want to projectile vomit till this day. It was just so...new ... the territories he took me too in my young age. I rarely ever talk about it to anyone. So, how's that for your theory with girls". I gave a small laugh. "Not everybody has a glorious first time. People tend to glam them up".

"Like you did?".

"Yes, like I did. Can't you tell me now? I mean I feel like I've opened up a lot to you and you won't share a simple piece of information with me".

"You know that this is important, Lana. It's not what I want to talk about at this moment. Tell me about the disappointment from other people you felt".

"When school started after that summer I had to have a physical. The doctor had to do the usual tests, including ones involving my more private parts. She found out. Then she told my mother. I still fucking hate that doctor. If she could've minded her own damn buisness. My mom was completely baffled. They sent me away, Joe. I moved in with my aunt until I was sixteen. Then they finally took me back, for a while. They all looked at me like I was the lowest of lifeforms. My mother, father, baby sisters. I wasn't loved. Then I was put up for adoption. To make matters worse the place shut down from lack of funds. Twenty orphans were left to wander on the streets. A lot of us found homes, though. I met this extremely kind, gentle, caring woman who wanted to take me in. She is my mother. The only one I've ever known. The only problems we have is that my mom runs a boarding house. People are always coming in and out. That bothers me a little bit".

Joey looked stunned. "I never knew", he whispered. "How did you manage to keep all of that from me?".

"I'm a private person".

"Wow...Lana. I don't even know what to say". He pushed the door closed moving me out of the way. Then he looked into my eyes. I reached a hand up to stroke his cheek. Joey's face leaned into my palm. I placed my other hand on his other cheek and pulled our heads together resting my forehead on his. I closed my eyes and moved so our lips touched. I sighed at the touch. This kiss was different from anyother I had ever experienced. It meant something. The meaning held more power then I could ever imagine feeling in a kiss.

When we pulled apart I spoke. "I feel like I just let you in on a gigantic secret".

"Is it?".

"In a way, yes". Joey smiled brightly.

"Maybe we won't be waiting as long as I thought". I felt a tad bit confused by his words. Did he feel like we were letting each other into our lives? Our souls? I didn't have much time to question it when Joey's lips met my own.