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You're going to the top of the highest skyscraper within 100 miles. You see tons of washed up celebrities, even that Taco Bell dog. You're being extra clumbsy (trying to get it out of your system before the jump, don't want anything to go wrong) and you see Jonathan Taylor Thomas. He takes one look at you and says "I thought my life was pathetic now, but seeing you, I realize that you're much lower than I am." He thanks you for keeping him from jumping and asks you what he can do for you to repay you. Remembering your elementary school days, you ask him to marry you. He doesn't look thrilled but does it anyways. You two actually have a very happy marrage, you keep things in perspective for him and he gives you lotsa spending money. |
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