theory

ok, so, here's the truth about the queen (if you can handle it...oooh)

well, i'll be blunt; the queen is dead. she died a long time ago, a time when teachers openly used bondage as a form of punishment and a penny could buy you TWO WHOLE blackjacks...not just one... however, due to the insignificant income that the monarchy brings our government members' retirement funds, they decided to atificially enhance her to 'keep her going' as such. -have you ever wondered how it is that not only the queen but her freakin MOTHER is still alive?! and no, it has nothing to do with their sponsorship frum H.I.P.P.O. (the country's leading artificial hip suppliers)...
well, with the help of my originally hipped friend madsferak, i have decided (through no fault of my own) that the queen is made up of a skiffle of components; her head (the original of course; how else could you explain it), a false body operated by the meister controller with a 2in1 remote control (so that he can still catch up on his knightrider re-runs on paramount), and finally, pie. the fuel of the future. yes indeedy, its pie. its warm, its fruity, its fattening, and has all the ingredients needed to keep our late monarch from combusting and smelling faintly of turnips.
and so i propose it to you, that the queen is no more than an imposter, and must be punished at once by pointing, and laughing lightly. hah! that'l show 'em wont it?!!

note; this theory is meerly a pile of crap and has nothing to do with the 90's cartoon programme 'teenage mutant ninja turtles' as if questioned further, i will deny any evidence of ever watching the kick-ass programme.
hero's in a house shell
turtle power