The Hell on Wheels Affair
It started on a Friday night when Illya announced during dinner �You're going to summer camp.�
Both boys couldn't have looked more shocked than if they had just heard a nuclear bomb had just been dropped overhead. After a minute of complete silence, they both started up. �Why?� Nick asked.
"Because it's high time you two started interacting with other kids your age,� Brenda answered, taking a sip of her Cabernet. �You two also need to work off some of your aggressions."
�But I don't wanna go,� Vanya started whining, dropping his bottom lip. �Ya'll would be wasting your time sending us anyway.�
�Yeah,� Nick chimed in. �We could find a car and hot wire it and drive home.�
�That sounded like a guarantee,� Brenda commented, downing the glass and pouring herself another. �Is there an echo in here?� she asked, secretly wishing she could send the twins back where they came from as she eyed Illya rather evily.
He quickly recognized the look, as did the boys. �Forget it, Mom,� Vanya grinned. �You can't send us back. Dad would be listed in the Guinness Book under the category of World's Largest Nuts.�
Neither Illya or Brenda knew whether to laugh or cry at that statement. Illya grabbed the wine bottle and tried to empty it into his glass, only to discover it was already dry. He slammed it down and went to the kitchen. Brenda sat, feeling like the Germans did when the Allies won World War II and slumped miserably in her chair.
Then pandemonium ensued and the boys picked up their forks and knives and started banging them on the table, chanting �Hell no, we won't go! Hell no, we won't go!�.
Brenda quickly decided on her nightly ritual and got up from her roost. She went to the corner and grabbed a yardstick. Wielding it like a Samurai warrior, she screeched �I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!!!� and started swinging.
The boys darted from their chairs and started dodging her, climbing over and under the table, everywhere they could.
In the kitchen, Illya heard the commotion and quickly closed the refrigerator door, set a bottle of wine on the counter and rushed in just in time to see Vanya swinging from the chandelier as if he were Tarzan and Nick scaling the china cabinet like Cheetah. Brenda was standing in a chair, one arm around Vanya, screeching at the top of her lungs �If I had wanted chimps for children, I'd have married Lancelot Link!�
Illya quickly yanked Nick off the cabinet and, tucking him under an arm as if he were a FedEx envelope, quickly exited the dining room and headed through the foyer for the stairs. Brenda followed, giving her nightly harangue. �Ya'll are going to go upstairs, go into the bathroom, take off all your clothes, cut the water on in the tub, get into the tub, stand under the water, wash yourselves good all over - including your ears - with soap and a washrag, rinse off well, cut the water off, get out of the tub, dry off with a towel, put on your pajamas, get into your beds and go to sleep.�
�You're sounding like stereo instructions,� Illya butted in.
�I have to,� she reminded him. �Remember last week? I forgot to tell them to cut the water off and they didn't and the next thing we knew, the upstairs was flooding faster than the Titanic.�
They got upstairs and quickly deposited the hellions into their bedroom and shut the door. The entire time they walked down the steps and back into the dining room, Brenda was bitching. �You're gonna tell me what ya'll are gonna do, I don't think so, kids. Ya'll don't know who you're fooling with. I brought ya'll into this world and I can damn sure take ya'll out.�
Illya quickly went into the kitchen and came back with the bottle of wine. �Where do you want to go on vacation while the boys are away?� he asked, uncorking the bottle and pouring the glasses.
Brenda almost fell into a chair, a remote control in her hand. She pressed a button and heard nothing. She pressed a blue button and spoke into it �I don't hear any water running up there.� A second later, they both head water running. She pressed the button again. �That had better be live and not Memorex, boys.� She set the remote down and took a sip from the glass. �How about if we just left them on a doorstep somewhere?�
�It wouldn't work,� Illya quickly deflated her idea. �THRUSH would pay us to take them back.� He took a sip and leaned back.
�What's the minimum age to enroll them in the Survival School?� she persisted.
�Twenty-five.�
�You're the policy director. Change it to seven.�
And so it went until ten o'clock, when Brenda finally had enough and crawled into bed, cut her light off. �Just think, tomorrow we'll have peace and quiet.�
�It sounds like a dream, doesn't it?� Illya remarked, taking off his robe and pulling the covers back on the other side of the king-sized bed. �Did you think to cut the alarm on?�
�That's a romantic thing to ask,� she giggled. �I guess the next question is `Did you pay the light bill'.�
�I didn't mean it like that.� He stretched out and pulled the covers over him. Reaching over to cut out his lamp, he noticed a control panel over the nightstand in the wall with several lights, all red. �It's on.� And with that, the light went out and they fell asleep.
The next morning, it seemed as if the dust had settled and the situation was pretty much under control. By seven, Illya was already on the road taking the boys off to camp. The sun was out, the clouds were like large cotton balls in the sky. It was a gorgeous day, but Illya was too involved in his cellular phone to notice it, much less what the boys were doing in the back of the Grand Cherokee.
Following behind was a New York State Police car. The boys saw it immediately and Nick had an idea. Opening a backpack, he dug out a spiral notebook and a marker pen. Vanya watched, quiet as a mouse while his twin scribbled something on a page and quickly held it up in the back window.
The state trooper saw the sign and his curiosity instantly aroused. It read: HELP!!! Instinctively he switched on the blue light and siren. Picking up his mike, he radioed the call in.
In the driver's seat of the Cherokee, Illya noticed the blue light in the rear-view mirror and saw Nick holding up a sign. �What are you two doing?� he asked, cutting off the phone and pulling the vehicle over onto the shoulder. �And what does that officer want?�
�Don't know, Dad,� Vanya answered, shrugging his shoulders and looking like he knew absolutely nothing.
The patrol car pulled over behind the Jeep and the cop got out. He approached the driver's door and asked �How are you doing this morning?�
Illya nodded. �Not bad,� he answered, curious as to the officer's purpose. �May I inquire as to the reason for this stop, Officer?�
�Could I see your license and registration, Sir?� the officer asked.
�For what purpose?� Illya asked, reaching over to the glove compartment and retrieving the registration card. He handed it to the officer and reached slowly into his pocket for his wallet. He then plucked out the driver's license and gave it to the officer as well. �I don't believe I was speeding, was I?� Illya asked.
�No, but these kids were holding up a sign saying `help'.� He peeked into the backseat and asked the boys �What seems to be the problem, boys?�
�We're being kidnapped!� Nick squealed as he started trembling. �He has a gun.�
�And a license to kill,� Vanya butted in, scrambling for the door.
�You boys be quiet!� Illya roared, already fed up with them. He forced a chuckle and tried to explain to the officers �I am taking my sons to summer camp and they don't want to go. That's probably why they made that sign and are claiming that they're being abducted.�
The cop studied the license and registration. He casually peeked into the vehicle and asked �Do you have any firearms?�
Illya groaned and reached into his wallet again and gave the cop his UNCLE identification card. �This is why my kids say I have a license to kill.� He reached under the seat and pulled out his UNCLE Special and showed it to the cop as well.
The cop waved the gun away and started laughing. �That's quite alright, Mr. Kuryakin.� He handed back the cards and license. �If you don't mind some advice, I'd suggest therapy for those kids.�
�I do mind, thank you.� Illya put the cards back into his wallet. �You're welcome to call my residence and verify all this with my wife.�
�Uh, that's okay,� the cop said quickly as a bell rang off in his head. �I don't think that'll be necessary. I'm sorry to have bothered you and you have a nice day.� He quickly turned around and almost ran back to his car.
Illya started the Jeep and waited for the patrol car to disappear down the road before cutting off the engine. He unfastened his seat belt and looked in the back seat at the boys. He was already fed up with their antics and had almost gotten them all in serious trouble. An idea popped up in his head and he smiled devilishly to himself. �Boys, why don't we get out of the car and stretch our legs?� he asked.
�Uh-oh,� Nick whispered over to Vanya. �He's got that look on his face.� He threw off his seat belt and quickly opened the door and climbed out.
�Yep,� his brother nodded, unfastening his seat belt and scrambling out of the car close behind.
Once they were on the side of the road, they quickly noticed a wooded area that appeared to be a forest. They couldn't see any homes or buildings beyond the trees.
Illya looked at the boys and motioned for them to follow him into the trees. Both boys were mystified, but obeyed for fear of any possible punishment. Nobody said a word as they disappeared into the trees and followed their father about a hundred feet into the forest.
Finally, they came upon a small clearing and Illya stopped. Quietly turning around, he looked at the boys and said �Take off your clothes.�
Both boys looked at each other, total shock and fear written all over their faces. �What?� they asked.
�You heard me, boys,� Illya told them. �Take off your clothes.�
Both boys saw a slightly evil glint in their father's eye and froze. �Why?� Nick whispered. �What are you going to do?�
�Do it!� Illya snapped.
As if possessed by demons, the boys quickly took off their shoes, their shorts and their shirts and tossed them onto the ground in front of them in a pile. �Do you want to socks and underwear, too?� Vanya asked meekly.
�No. You can keep those.� Illya picked up the clothes and hung them over one arm. �Now, here's the deal. If you can hoof it home, you don't have to go to camp.�
�Huh?� they asked, then they broke out laughing hysterically. They thought it was absolutely hilarious. �Come on, Daddy. It's got to be at least a couple of miles to the house.�
�Yeah,� Nick interrupted. �Are you crazy? What if we're kidnapped? What's Mom gonna do to you then, huh?�
�I wouldn't be surprised if Mom doesn't try to have you locked up in mental hospital.�
Illya ignored them. �It's your choice. Walk or go to summer camp.�
The boys shut up and shrugged. They realized they couldn't argue anymore and decided instead to call Illya's bluff. �I guess we'll walk home, then,� Nick waved at him.
�See ya later, Dad,� Vanya waved as Illya walked past them and back toward the Jeep.
�He's not gonna leave us out here,� Nick whispered to his twin. �He'd rather die than leave us out here. All alone. In the woods. With the animals,� he added, gradually raising his voice so their dad could hear them. They got no response from him. He kept walking toward the vehicle, not looking back one time. Then it started sinking in as they watched their dad toss the clothes into the car, get in and drive away.
�Nah,� Nick said. �He'll be back in a few minutes after he cools off.� He noticed a log laying on its side nearby. �I'm just gonna sit over here and watch and wait. You do whatever.�
About an hor later, Nick creeped up toward the road, still not quite believing this scenario. Here they were, naked except for their underwear and socks, left alone out in the woods with God knows what near a busy highway. Abandoned, cast aside all because they wanted to defy their parents and do what they wanted. Their dad had left them and so far, hadn't returned. They had heard the tales of their mom and aunt, their escapades and endless rebellion against the family establishment. The stuff legends were made of, they thought.
�He's not back,� Vanya called out. �I guess he's for real.�
�Shit,� Nick fumed. �This calls for retaliation.� The DeBeauharnais side was coming out in him. �Remember the family creed: don't get mad, get even.�
�You're sounding just like Mom.�
�I know.� He got off the log and quickly joined his brother. �It's not very busy out here this morning, is it?�
�I guess it's still early yet.� Vanya continued to scan the road, looking for way. �We have to find our way home, right?�
�Yeah.�
�Dad didn't actually say we had to walk home, did he?�
�Yeah. He did.�
�Hmmm.� He saw a convoy of motorcycles coming and said �Come on, I've got an idea.� He darted out toward the road.
Nick followed suit and watched as a gang of motorcycles came toward them. Instinctively following his brother, they both started waving and yelling for them to stop.
The lead biker saw the two kids waving and screaming and was instantly curious. He pulled the bike over and stopped. �Where did ya'll come from?� he asked, his voice gruff.
The boys were in awe. This guy was about six foot five, heavyset with a large belly and a long shaggy beard that hung so low, the tip of it was laying on the bike seat. He wore a black sleeveless t-shirt that was shrunken to show off the bottom part of his overhanging belly, and tattoos adorned both arms from one end to the other.
�Whatsa matter, Kids? Cat got your tongues?� he asked.
�Uh, we need help,� Nick said before his brother could get a word out. �We ran away from these people.�
�What kind of people?� the biker asked suspiciously. The other bikers behind him pulled over and were just as curious as their leader over these kids being out in their underwear.
There were about a dozen and a half assorted guys and about half a dozen women, all of them looking like veterans of the road. They wore an assortment of leather, spikes and long dangling chains. The women looked like they were already made up for Halloween with their frizzled hair and twenty tons of bad makeup.
One girl, a blonde with long hair who looked like she had been rode hard and hung out to dry a time too many walked over, asking �What happened to you kids?�
�Well, we were taken by these perverts and were kept captive in a home not far from here,� Nick started his narrative, pacing back and forth like he was reciting the Gettysburg Address. �We were being forced to watch naked movies, look at pictures of kids and we were about to be forced to take off our clothes in front of a camera when we ran off.�
�You poor things,� she cried, immediately incensed. She looked at the leader �Spike, these kids need help. God knows what these monsters are apt to do.�
�Yeah,� the leader replied. He looked at the boys. �Did any of these people try to mess with you?�
�They wanted us to suck each other's wee-wee's,� Vanya said, his eyes cast down toward the ground.
�Where are these people?� he asked.
�We can show you.� Nick started shaking like a leaf.
�Come on, Kid. You can ride with me,� he said, his soft side getting the better of him. He extended his hand. �It's okay, I won't bite.�
Nick paused for a moment, then accepted the large hand. �Thank you, Mister.�
�I'm Spike, this gal here's Candy,� he started rattling off everyone's names one by one.
�I'm Nick and this is Vanya,� Nick introduced, jumping on the back of Spike's bike and hanging on.
�Which way are we headed?� Spike asked as everyone else got back on their bikes and started their motors.
�Richland Avenue,� Nick answered. �Fourteen twenty-two.�
�Fancy neighborhood,� Spike answered. getting back on the highway.
Meanwhile, Illya was at home, talking to Napoleon outside at the car, explaining what had happened to the boys. Napoleon was shocked beyond comprehension. �What?� he asked, not quite believing his ears.
�They can either walk home or go to camp.�
�Illya, have you took leave of your senses?� he asked, his voice raising. �Do you have any idea what those kids could get into?�
�You're paranoid,� Illya fussed. �Besides, neither Nick or Vanya will talk to strangers. They don't have far to walk. They should be here any time.�
�That's not the point,� Napoleon continued his harangue. �The point is you can't leave children out in the middle of the woods by themselves. What do you think Brenda is going to do when she finds this out?�
�They'll probably be home by the time she gets back. She won't have to know,� he protested. �What Brenda doesn't know doesn't get me in the doghouse.�
�She'll find out. And it won't be from me,� he started laughing, getting a mental picture of the boys out in the woods alone in their underwear. �And you'll be sleeping on my sofa for a week.�
�Oh, come on. I seriously doubt Brenda would throw me out of my own home.�
�I take it you don't recall the Show and Tell fiasco at school last March, hmmm?� He winked.
�Oh,� Illya said simply.
They both heard a faint sound of roaring engines and looked down the driveway. To their amazement, they saw a motorcycle gang coming up the driveway toward the house. �Didn't know you were expecting Hell's Angels for lunch,� Napoleon quipped.
Illya silently counted the number of bikes. �One more and we could have a bridge tournament.�
Napoleon was silently contemplating their options as he got out of the car. He checked his gun attached to his hip, as did Illya. He reached into the car and grabbed the phone. �I'm calling for backup. Just in case.�
�By all means,� Illya replied, not taking his eyes off the sight.
Spike saw the two guys and asked Nick. �Who are they?�
Nick saw his dad and uncle and decided to have even more fun. �Uh, the blond one's the guy who grabbed us. The other one is the one we saw him having sex with.�
From the second bike, Vanya told the driver, Spanky �They're always kissing and hugging or sucking each other's wee-wee's all the time.�
�That's the sickest thing I've ever heard,� Spanky replied.
The bikes made their way and stopped just before the driveway turned in front of the house. Illya saw the boys with them and quietly suspected something was afoot. He walked over to Spike and replied �Thank you for bringing my boys home.�
�We're not bringing them back here,� Spike said angrily. �Not after the things we've heard about you and your girlfriend over there,� he added, pointing to Napoleon.
Napoleon put the phone back in the car and walked over. �I think there's been some sort of misunderstanding,� he started.
The others stayed on their bikes. Vanya got off Spanky's bike and stepped over to the side, as did Nick and watched as the bikers got off and stormed toward the house. The women stayed with the bikes and kept the boys close by as they watched.
And with that, the chaos began. Spike said nothing else. He grabbed Illya by surprise and wrapped his thick arm around Illya's neck in an attempt to choke him. Illya stepped on Spike's foot and bit his arm. Spike let go and Illya spun around and punched him in the face, almost breaking his hand in the process. Spike didn't flinch, but knocked Illya down with a sucker punch to the side of the face.
Napoleon snuck up behind Spike and knocked him to the ground with the butt of the gun on the back of the head. The guy toppled like a redwood and Illya scrambled away just before the landing. He leaned over to help Illya up and was jumped from behind.
Illya took his gun and knocked the other guy out cold and saw three or four coming towards him. He quickly ran toward the side of the house and, as he passed the double doors leading to the living room, flung them open and ran into the house. He ran across the living room to the study and pushed a button on the wall. The alarm system was set off and the wailing sound was ear-shattering.
Napoleon ran into the study from the foyer and started hitting buttons in a concealed drawer in the desk, then took off running out the back door with two bikers following on his heels. another one came flying into the room and Illya ducked quickly and jabbed him in the groin. They guy went down, wailing in pain as Illya knocked him out cold with a lamp. After the wailing stopped, Illya drug him by the leg to the window behind the desk and tossed him through the window, shattering the glass. The guy landed in the yard with a thud and a trapdoor opened, effectively sending the vermin down a chute.
Outside, Napoleon was running around the back of the house and two guys lost their footing and slipped on the marble patio and slid toward the edge of the swimming pool. He snuck up behind them and pushed them into the pool. �Have a bath on me, gentlemen."
A black Lamborghini came screeching up the driveway and toward the house. The women screamed and grabbed the boys and ran out of the way as the car streaked by, knocking the bikes over and out of the way and stopped just short of the house. Brenda jumped from the driver's seat and Lynda flew out of the passenger's side and they were totally confused. �What the Hell is going on here?� Brenda screeched. �Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my yard???�
Lynda saw her husband's car and remarked �Whatever it is, it ain't good.� She saw a couple of bikers running toward front yard and Napoleon following, firing off his gun. She was totally speechless at the sight and dropped her purse on the ground.
Brenda, on the other hand, jumped up on the hood of her car and then onto the roof. She started firing off her gun and the pandemonium stopped. A crash was heard and Illya and another guy came tumbling into the bushes from a front window. Brenda fired again.
Everything suddenly went quiet. �I WANT EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT LIVE HERE GONE RIGHT NOW OR I WILL SET OFF EVERY BOMB ON THE PROPERTY AND WE'LL ALL BE MEETING SAINT PETER UP AT THE BIG HOUSE, YA'LL!. GIT!�
Lynda grabbed a machine gun from the car and started firing off rounds. The bikers went scurrying like mice and gathered up their bikes. the women jumped on and so did the boys. Brenda leaped from the car and took off toward the bikes and plucked Nick off the back of one. �Not you, Illya Nickovetch. You're staying.� She saw Vanya on another bike. �Vanya Nickovetch, you too!� she ordered.
Vanya quickly obeyed and waved at Spanky, who was bleeding profusely from a head wound. �See ya,� he simply said and ran toward the house.
Illya managed to get himself on his feet and was trying to regain his breath, as was Napoleon who was sitting on the front steps, looking rather beat after this unexpected event. He saw Brenda grab both the boys up and the three of them came toward the house, both boys talking at once and telling their mom what had happened and he knew from the look on Brenda's face as she stormed toward them she was not a happy camper. �Oh boy,� he gasped, still trying to breathe.
Napoleon looked up and saw the stormy look on Brenda's face. �Any final words or thoughts you'd like to share, old buddy?�
�I'll tell her it's your fault.�
Napoleon struggled to his feet. �I'll go home and make up the sofa bed for you.�
Lynda walked over, asking �Friends of yours?�
�Just acquaintances,� Napoleon remarked, �How was your morning?�
�Lovely,� she replied, helping him to the car. �But not as exciting as yours by any means. Would you care to share with me?�
�I would but I'm still trying to figure this one out myself.� He started the car. �Coming?�
�In a sec. I dropped my purse.� She went back toward Brenda's car and got her purse and quickly scurried back to the car and they left.
Brenda sat down on the step beside Illya and asked �What's this I hear about the boys being stripped down and left in the woods?�
Illya took a deep breath and thought on that question. He knew any answer he gave could possibly start a world war. Several answers ran by, but he didn't like the sound of any of them. So, he opted to tell the truth, even if it meant unleashing the unholy fury. �I told them if they walked home, they didn't have to go to camp.�
�You mean you made our boys strip to their undies and left them in the woods off the highway and told them to walk home,� she asked in a half-statement. �Okay,� she breathed. �Why?�
�They held up a sign when they saw a state trooper coming behind us and he pulled us over. The boys told the officer they were being kidnapped.�
Brenda looked at the boys, who were trying their best to look innocent. �Is this true, boys?�
�Don't you think Daddy needs mental help?� Nick asked.
�That's not what I asked, Nick. Did you or Vanya flag down a cop and then claim you were being kidnapped?�
Vanya spoke up. �It was Nick's idea.�
�And where did the bikers from Hell come from?� she asked.
�Uh, we flagged them down on the highway and got a ride home.�
�Oh, okay,� Brenda started piecing it together. She narrowed her eyes and asked �What did you tell those bikers to get them riled up and start all the chaos?�
Vanya trembled, knowing he was in trouble, as did Nick. They looked at their dad, then at their mom, then at the ground. �Nothing,� Nick answered quickly.
Brenda knew better. �You forget, I invented retaliation.�
Illya interrupted. �I'm going inside to get my belt.�
�I can get it,� Brenda replied, noticing how beat he was. �You stay here and rest, Illya.� She got up and went inside.
Illya asked the boys �What did you tell them?�
�Are you going to kill us?� Vanya asked.
Nick gave his brother a shove. �Don't be a baby.� He looked at his dad and replied �We told them we had escaped from sex perverts.�
�Sex perverts?� Illya was astounded. �Do you even know what that is?�
�Sure, Dad. People who have sex with kids. Vanya told them Uncle Napoleon was your girlfriend and that he'd seen the two of you together.�
Vanya knocked his brother down. �You're the one who said they were sucking each other's wee-wee's, you shithead!�
Illya jumped up and pulled Vanya off Nick and started spanking him hard. �Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you could've gotten into?� he asked.
Brenda came outside with a long, thick black belt. �What happened?�
Illya said nothing, but took the belt from her and started tearing up Vanya's behind. Vanya screamed and started bawling as he struggled to get free.
Brenda asked again. �What did they tell those bikers?�
Illya stopped and let Vanya go. �They told those bikers they had escaped from sex maniacs and that they had seen Napoleon and myself engaging in sexual acts with one another,� he answered angrily as he grabbed Nick and started beating his rear.
Vanya had ran behind Brenda and was holding onto her waist with both arms, still crying and shaking. Brenda broke free and grabbed the belt back. �Why don't you go inside and cool down?� she demanded. �I'll handle this.�
�I can settle this real quick,� he snapped. �They're my kids and I'll tear their tails up.�
�Yours?� She was livid. �They're mind as well,� she retorted. �But I gave birth to them. That means I can take them out if I want to.� She scooped up Vanya, who clung to her like a vine and took Nick by the arm. �Let me know when you decide to grow up!� and with that, she stormed into the house. The next sounds he heard were the slaps of the belt and the boys screaming and crying.
A few minutes later, Brenda came back out and joined him on the steps, looking rather worn out. Her hair had flown everywhere and she still looked quite perturbed. �I'm sorry,� she said. �I sounded like a hypocrite.� She pulled out her cigarette case from her shirt pocket and proceeded to get one out.
Illya reached into his pocket and got a silver Zippo lighter. �You look like Hell,� he remarked as he lit her cigarette.
�I feel like it right now.� She took a long draw and exhaled. �What are we going to do with those two now?� she asked.
�Didn't you say a few minutes ago you'd handle it?� he asked.
�They're your kids, too. Like it or not.�
�Yes, but you gave birth to them, remember?�
�It's your fault they're incorrigible,� she argued. �You let them watch whatever they want. They tag along with you and Napoleon wherever ya'll happen to wind up. And God help ya'll if you're with Mama Jackie. Remember the time you went to find Mama Jackie at that club and ended up getting picked up by the cops because a surprise raid happened?�
�What about the times you and Lynda go over to that adult video store just off 12th Avenue?�
�We never took the kids inside! They stayed in the car with Larry.� She took another draw off her cigarette. �If you hadn't have left all the toys out, they wouldn't have found them and took them to school for Show and Tell last spring.�
�I was cleaning out the attic. I completely forgot they were up there.� He shook his head. �Maybe that state trooper was right. Maybe the boys do need some therapy.�
�Plueeze,� she scoffed. �Therapy? Look around, Illya. Take a long hard look at this family tree and you'll see the reason they're like they are.�
�Yeah,� he sighed. �They've taken after their mother.� He got up and started walking across the yard toward Lynda's house.
Brenda hollered after him �I take it you're sleeping in the den tonight, right?�
He turned around. �I'll send for my things later.�
Brenda got up and went back into the house. She walked through the study and surveyed the mess. There were shards of broken glass everywhere, the desk was turned over. A lamp lay on the floor on its side, the shade askew. A couple of photos were laying in a pile of debris, the glass cracked or shattered.
The door opened and Nick peeked in, asking in barely a whisper. �Can I come out of my room now, Mommy?�
She turned around on her heel and stared at that child. �Go get Vanya,� she said evenly. �The two of you caused this mess, you're going to help clean it up.�
�And?� he asked.
�And ya'll are grounded for the rest of the summer. And-� she paused when Vanya stuck his head in the door as well. �ya'll start thinking two words for the fall: boarding school.�
They saw the twinkle in her eye as she said those last two words and laughed. �Right, Mommy. Sure we'll go,� Vanya taunted.
�We won't stay,� Nick grinned devilishly, looking so much like his father. �You'll get a call by lunchtime saying we've been expelled.�
She walked past them and went back outside, looking as frustrated as she felt at that moment. She went back outside and slumped miserably on the steps and groaned �Is there no end to this?�
