UNCLE New Year's 99
Believe it or not, we have survived the Millenium. Y2K turned out to be - as I had always suspected - much ado about nothing.
Like my sister, Christmas at our home was rather subdued. There were no hitmen left dead on the doorstep, no bombs going off in the garage like in years past. Even Jason didn't have the heart to climb the roof and write obscenities in the lights. The police showed up on Christmas Eve asking if he was still alive. Even the kids seemed a little bit unconcerned - it was just another day out of school for them.
But, of course, it was the calm before the storm. Couldn't have been anything less. The boys turned sixteen on the 28th and apparently neither one of them knew they wanted a bonfire in the front yard (I guess Harry decided to send a birthday present for them.) Of course, that was the highlight of the day, besides the brand-new cars (Nick got a Ferrari convertible, Vanya now has a Jaguar X-12, so now we're waiting for the police to call.)
As for New Year's Eve, we spent it rather quietly at home. The boys were out at a friend';s house for the evening (we made sure it was being properly chaperoned first.) Other than that, there';s really not much to tell. We went through a case of Dom Perignon (I found the '91 vintage rather extroardinary), five pounds of caviar and kicked back in front of the fireplace to ring in the new century. I know, we were party animals, but I myself am still tired, so I decided against doing anything outrageous (Illya didn't even need all the Valium we had stockpiled, believe it or not.) The girls were trying to stay up, but finally gave up around 10:30. Even Mama Jackie stayed in (he was talking about going to Times Square and climbing the ball, wearing nothing but a top hat and diaper.), so we were all spared from embarrassment. Unfortunately, Lynda and Napoleon didn't come over (they chose to stay home and celebrate by themselves). I have tried to get Lynda on the phone, but it's no use. Maybe I shouldn't have brought the tape out of the closet of Maggie's birth, but I just couldn't stand hearing that child try to tell her Tibetian friend that she was orphaned and she had been adopted. Oh well, it isn't the first time my sister's been pissed at me and it probably won't be the last. She'll eventually need me for something.
One thing that I found odd: we watched the Biography special on A&;E. You would've thought Lynda and I would've been mentioned. But, then again, I guess Leprechaun isn';t considered to be a crowning acheivement. Oh well, since nobody mentioned that (or the CAATS system, or the exploding CD-Rom, et al), maybe we'll receive honorable mention for Areohawke one day.
Later, alligator . . .
Brenda DeBeauharnais Kuryakin
