Lynda's Annual Letter (2001 Edition)
Gee, I'm not sure where to start, so much has happened this year. I guess I'll just shout it out: we have a grandson. Yep, I'm a grandma, Mama Jackie is great and Maggie's grounded. Benjamin Bryant arrived on June 20, weighing in at 7lbs, 5 ozs. Let's just say he weighs a bit more than that now (he's got a healthy appetite on him, but most men do anyway.) And, to top all that off, the dead son-in-law showed back up last February (I guess I didn't kill him dead enough.) So, now they have their own place and I have to be supervised whenever I go over there (gee, what did I do?)
Anyway, Maggie has managed to graduate high school and is now attending NYU. Originally, she was intending to major in law, but now she's leaning more toward the covert side of the family tree herself. But then, Nick and Vanya have already sent in their applications for UNCLE, as well. And, as far as I know, the soon-to-be-dead-again son in law has no idea of this. He's still trying to get over Nick and Vanya's Powerpoint presentations (I'm glad he does not oversee the recruiting. We'd have every gang-banger in the country.)
Amy is no longer in boarding school. She came home this past summer and made a startling announcement: she's a lesbian. Okay, we can deal with that. If I can cope with having a trasvestite father, a lesbian daughter is no big deal. She's back at L'Academie de Lafayette this year and is dong better. She also has a special friend, Sara, who is quite a lovely girl. Amy's sixteen now and she drives like a maniac (well, her father taught her. He can't blame for that one.)
Our son. What can I say? He finally has a girlfriend (and we didn't have to run a personal ad, either. Believe it or not.) I'm not quite sure how desperate she is, but at least she isn't inflatable. He's getting better about his room - I finally paid AfterDisaster to come in to handle the clean-up, paid off the EPA fines and now we don't have to have the Biohazard suits now to enter.
As far as Napoleon goes, he's getting grayer (and to hear him tell it, my name is on every single gray hair he has.) He's already nominated a successor, so retirment is immenent (July 1. We'll see if this actually comes to pass.) And, he's thinking about e-publishing his memoirs (I can only imagine what he would have to say about moi.) Right now, he's out of the country with Illya, searching for Nick and Vanya. We think the boys have headed for Afghanistan to find Bin Laden. And, as Brenda, I am also under house arrest (why is this? This happens every time they go out of town.)
Gotta run. . . Brenda just IM'd me and she's got the travel plans ready. Now, we just have to sneak out. Bin Laden thinks he's hot stuff. I'll show him hot stuff.
And, yes, my will is made out. I'm leaving the kids to Kowalski (gee, wonder why he doesn't like me.)
Au Revoir . . . until . . .
Lynda Josephine
