A temple shelter for women and children

In the past there have been reports of isolated incidents of physical and sexual abuse of children and women living in orphanages and temples. It is quite unfortunate that such things could happen to shelter seekers who already were deprived of social and financial support from their relatives.

Let us examine the issues which make people, especially the children and women, seek asylum in these institutions in the first place.

Perhaps there are not many choices available to them for obtaining food, shelter and protection. The parents of a young boy (girl) could pass away leaving the offspring alone, orphaned and unable to care for himself (herself). In majority of cases, a relative or a friend of the family might adopt the orphaned child and take care of him / her. But in some situations, the orphaned child may not have any relatives or family friends; or even if they are there, they might not take responsibility of the orphaned kid either because of their bad economic condition or due to plain reluctance on their part. Thus, there is no option for an orphaned child except to seek a third party shelter, e.g. orphanage or temple.

Sometimes even if the parents of a young girl or boy are alive, they might not be in a good socio-economic condition to take care of their kid and thus could decide to send her / him to live in a temple thinking that the temple would do a better job in raising their child. Thus the temple might be considered by some people an ideal place to raise their child where free room, board and education (in spirituality, arts, music, dancing etc.) are available, perhaps in return for a small or light physical (manual) service (work) to the temple.

The same type of consideration, as indicated above for young girls, is generally applicable to adult women, especially the widows, when they decide to live in temples and religious places like Vrindavan. Note that even though the widows living in such places (temples etc.) might number in several thousand, they still represent an extremely small minority relative to millions of Indian widows (out of more than a half billion women in India) who continue to live at home after their husbands’ deaths (APPENDIX).

A widowed woman, young or old, having no family, children and money of her own would still prefer to spend the rest of her life with relatives and friends. Her main interest would be to stay in familiar surroundings and with people known to her already. She would even be willing to provide a physical (manual) help and service to anyone closer to home or among her relations in return for food and shelter.

But when there is no possibility for a widow (having no children and resources) to reside with her kin or friends, she might end up in a temple for the sake of food and shelter, either by her own free will or at the behest of her kin who are unable to look after her for various reasons. Note that, to tackle such dire situations, the government has now instituted monthly pensions and stipends to poor and abandoned women and men so that they do not have to leave their homes to seek shelters elsewhere.

The choice of a Hindu temple or a religious place as a safe haven by the young and the old has been easy for a long time. In addition to being considered a peaceful and safe environment, these places are known to serve free food to people (devotees, visitors, beggars, hungry and needy). In a way it is an important service on their part to feed the needy and hungry no matter what the faith of a person coming to their doorsteps. Note that some of these institutions (temples etc.) also have facilities to house the guests and devotees who might be pursuing spirituality on a full time basis. Living in a temple (sometimes even after having the head shaven to indicate austerity and modesty), for getting education (in arts and music etc.) or pursuing spirituality and at the same time being assured of free room and board in return for light service to the temple, seems like a good arrangement for an unmarried girl or a widowed woman having nowhere else to go.

Needless to say, the issues related to a helpless female seeking shelter in a temple -- basically to escape physical, social and economic hardship – are non-religious (as explained above) and need to be resolved through familial, societal and governmental means and participation. Moreover, the involvement of a temple in these situations is quite unintended and occurs mainly because it happens to be providing free room and board to the needy. Thus any misbehavior or breach of trust involving temple’s staff, boarders and guests (male or female) should be considered a civil or a criminal matter, prosecutable under the law, and not a religious or theological issue.

Religiously, the Hindu scriptures (Srutis or Vedas) do not sanction the mistreatment of women, including young girls and widows. Moreover, according to the religion, widows are not to be abandoned by their kin or made to spend their lives in shelters, temples and holy places. There are several examples in the ancient texts which clearly show that women did not leave their homes and families or commit sati after their husbands died even at a young age. In the Mahabharata (1), Satyavati (Shantanu’s wife, 2) and Uttara (Abhimanyu’s wife) continued to live at home as widows after their husbands’ deaths and helped raise their families.

Regarding the treatment of people (including the young girls and widows) in shelters, temples and orphanages, Hinduism is quite emphatic in its opposition to any abuse and exploitation at the hands of those in positions of power and authority:

“He, who betrays one who has sought refuge, will meet destruction. The very earth will not let the seed, that he sows, sprout.” The Mahabarata (1, p. 181).

APPENDIX
Living in the society as a widow

Majority of widows in India, even those from the villages and without having any offspring or property, do not end up living in shelters and temples. Consider the following for example.

During 1950s, I was growing up as a young boy in Ansoli, a village in the foothills of Himalayas.

Sita, an elderly lady in her sixties, who lived in another village (about 15 km from Ansoli) would often visit our house and stay with our family for several days at a stretch. My siblings and I used to address her affectionately as ‘buaa ji’ (respected Aunty).

Sita had become a widow at an early age, perhaps in her early twenties. She had no children and did not have any close relative on her parents’ side or from her in-laws. She lived alone in an old house which she had inherited after her husband’s death and she did not own much property. She managed to get by in life by helping her neighbors etc.

One day I found out from my father that Sita was a distant relative of ours. Her family had separated from ours several generations ago. My father also mentioned that since Sita did not have many people to depend upon or relate to, it was our duty to provide her the necessary assistance and also consider her as one of our own. Needless to say, he treated her with great respect and affection as if she were a close family relation. My mother and others in the family did the same in terms of courtesy and affection towards her.

Whenever Sita returned to her house after living with us, she would not be sent back empty-handed by my mother. A basket containing cooked food items and a large bag filled with grains would also be sent to her place. Moreover, she was invited to attend all the important functions (marriages etc.) in our family. There was never a feeling with anyone that this woman was a widow or not related to us. The question of sending Sita (a widow and a very far relation to us) to spend life in a temple or a remote place never arose.

Incidentally, I noticed others in the area at that time treating their elderly and widowed women much the same way as we did, and Sita’s experience and life as a widow did not seem unique.

References

(1) C. Rajagopalachari, Mahabharata, Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan, Mumbai, 1996, p. 24, 161, 181.

(2) “Shantanu’s story in the Mahabharata”, http://www.geocities.com/lamberdar/shantanu_story.html

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By: Dr. Subhash C. Sharma
Email: [email protected]
Date: Aug. 28, 2007

link to: Related topics by the author