| Poems By Me |
| PLASE NOTE: It is unlawful to take any of these poems and claim them as your own. |
| Cinderella Cinderella, She taught me a lot, how life would be, but look what I got. I thought I'd always be pretty, and remain a size two, I thought love was easy, I could find it by losing a shoe. I believed in a person who cares, a fairy godmother in blue, One who will love me always, no matter what I do. I thought mice could befriend me, and I would never be alone, I'd always have someone to talk to, if only on the phone. I believed in silly magic, that could fix all pain, I believed in it all, no more dreams could be slain. Where are you now? as I search for you, What you taught me are lies, I didn't even have a clue. I'm not always pretty, and I'm not a size two, love isn't easy, and requires more than a shoe. I thought someone cared, my fairy godmother, but to her now, I'm simply a bother. I wanted mice for friends, but now I'm alone, I have no one to talk to, not even on the phone. Magic isn't real, it can't fix any pain, I believed in it all, I believed in vain. So now I sit here, you're nowhere to be found, My heart and wings are broken, by pain I am bound. Thanks Cinderella, for all the comforting lies, for all the pain that you've caused, for now one little girl cries. |
| My Monster My monster lives within, it contaminates my thoughts, it blurs my vision, and drives me crazy. One look in the mirror and the monster comes out, my vision blurs as I see the fat in the mirror, "Your an Elephant," my thoughts scream Just 10 more pounds I think. The monster controls my hands, as I tie the string around my waist, it reminds me I'm fat, the string constricts at the first bite of food, The monster tells me fat is bad, it tells me I'm unacceptable, it tells me I'm a fat, ugly, bitch, it tells me I'm not good enough. My head threatens to explode, as the monster invades my thoughts, My self destructive thoughts attack, it's the monster. I need the monster, Without it I have no security, I'm not whole without it, I need my monster, Ana |
| Emptiness Food, the enemy and savior, eating sustains my dreadful life, eating keeps me in this world, but eating is also a punishment. It all starts with the pain, It hurts so bad it's nauseating, Then the mass of food sits in my stomach, testing my will power. As the pain rises so does my finger, I jam it down my throat, the comforting and painful gag reflex, is a releasing of some pain. Then up comes the twisted mass, I don't deserve to keep it, I don't deserve to eat, I only deserve pain. With the release of my food, my pain is released, I'm soon empty, empty of food and pain. Food, the enemy and savior, helps relieve pain, helps cleanse the soul, makes me empty inside. |
| It's an intriguing pattern, twisting and swirling everywhere, the white lines are all over, they speak of secrets to big to bear. The first begins to speak, of the very first night, the night it came into being, the night when mind and body had a fight. The next begins to speak, all about the creators depression, how it drove her here, and her life of supression. The third speaks of the canvas, the creators own flesh, the sharp knives led by her hand, cutting the skin as if it was mesh. |
| They all tell a story, one horrible event after another, the depression and pain, the lies to her mother. Her secret will follow her always, forever chiseled in her skin, never to be forgotten, It all started when the depression moved in. |
| White Lines: Eternal Painting |