In the Wigratzbad pub, the teen girl trio chat with the English Jerome and natively French though current resident of Britain, Lionel. Christine: Is it true you eat cats in Britain? Jerome: No. Whoever told you that was REALLY pulling your leg. Lionel: Yeah they do! Haven’t you ever seen on the menu, “Cats of the Day”?

Regarding housing difficulties in Wigratzbad and the reluctance of the French to share quarters with any other race, the Aussie realizes she is a prophetess… Julia: I knew it. The French are putting us in the church basement. Observing more likely accommodations... Christa: Or in that telephone booth!

On our finally receiving a room in the Pilgrimheim around 11 p.m, an irritated organizer inquires after the noisiest ladies’ satisfaction. Fr. Armand: Are the Americans happy now? Julie: And the Australians! Tara: And Brits! Christa: And Irish! Yeah we’re all happy now. Thank you.

Since French is the language of the world, it is perceftly acceptable to give orders only in French when the Anglophones return exhausted from a late Holy Hour and Solemn Benediction. French PA: (something to the effect of) Thank you for respecting our silence. Joe: Thank you for respecting our language. Uh! Some temper tantrums ensued. Amanda: They’re talking to us. Christa: In French. Amanda: Yep. Karolina: That’s it! slamming books They wanna fight? Huh? I’m ready to fight! Maria: I need a cigarette to relax.

Back in the peaceful atmosphere of the Wigratzbad pub, Dorothy soliloquizes on her adventuresome tastes. Dorothy: I’m the kind of person that wants to try and see if I like whatever is put in front of me. Christa: I’ll get you some chocolate covered crickets sometime. Dorothy: How did we get to chocolate covered crickets? I thought this was about beer!

Some questions will never be answered… Christa: Why is there a big plastic tarantula on the table?

Contemplating the shrine at Wigraztbad, some pilgrims had less than edifying impressions. Jude: It’s an ugly church. Joe: It’s like a…spaceship. Gregory: It looks like a teepee. Christa: It looks like Ikea.

Following upon his original simile, Joe turned his vivid imagination upon the interior of the shrine. Joe: Someday that organ is gonna blow out the roof. The U.S.S. Organ. Mission: To go where no organ has gone before! Christa: And convert aliens to Catholicism. Joe: And somehow return Lutheran. Christa: Uh…right.

Reportedly, when the warm water ran out in the middle of his shower, one pilgrim decided to vent his wrath upon the blue-shirted French security guards with various epithets, including one that became a (loving) nickname for the poor fellows. Random Cold Showering Guy: NAZIS!!!!!

Perspicacity abounded. Joe: I knew it would be like this. There’s the French, and then there’s everybody else!

In Austria some of the “Nazis” sought to herd the French off to their own programs, away from the “foreign” contingent, in roughly this manner. “Nazi”: Are you a foreigner? Anglophone Priest: Excuse me? “Nazi: (impatiently) Do you speak French?

The almost infinitely long breakfast lines were wonderful opportunities for edifying discussions with seminarians, such as that regarding Christa’s dirty crocheted sweater. Justin: Your sweater is crummy. Edward: But it’s also holey.

The Reverend Mister Deacon Joseph Lee gave a conference on why Latin ought to be the language of the Mass. Joe Lee: Latin is a noble language. “Qui est pater tua nunc?” just doesn’t have the same ring to it as “Who’s your daddy now?”

The wonderful Cortney Robinson, FSSP gave a conference on a bus on the subject of, er, either Faith or Hope. Probably he didn’t know which, either. Cortney: What are some things we might despair of? Justin: I despair of being wealthy for I am a seminarian.

Cardinal Rifan gave a delightful conference on Confirmation. His analogies were enlivened by the use of props. Cardinal Rifan: (Holding the US flag) “I am proud to be an American” is like saying “I am proud to be a Catholic.” (Holding Union Jack) “I am proud to be a subject of the Queen” is like saying “I am proud to be a subject of Jesus Christ.” (Holding Old Glory again with a quirky smile) As opposed to, “I am not a subject of George Bush.”

Riding on a bus three quarters full of French youth can get pretty noisy and instigate political incorrectness. Justin: WWI and WWII are completely understandable. Hitler occupied France because he couldn’t sleep at night! The French priests attempted to calm their charges with rosaries, but camp songs prevailed over religious exercises. Justin: Not even the French priests can control the French! The only way to get them to shut up is to shoot them!

They got us up at 4 am for a 6 am scheduled departure. At 8 am… Gregory: Everybody, please sit down so the bus can leave. Christa, that includes you!

Nevermind the blue-shirted “Nazis”, what does this say about our packing mentality?! Gregory: Well, there’s not enough room for all our bags on the bus so the two idiots in blue are going to look for more luggage space on other buses, so between the two of them that should make at least one braincell.

Christa liked the bus trip. She was not at all saddened when… Gregory: You’ll be glad to know we are now two hours away…from being six hours away from Dusseldorf.

He never should have asked… Justin: Can you make this ANY more dramatic? Christa: Actually…YEAH!

Christa revealed her future plans on that busride, which sparked enthusiastic replies from many quarters. Karolina: You want to be a nun? I love you! I don’t even know your name but I love you!

Re: Justin Thomas: What happened? You ditched your seminarian friend. He’s been roaming the streets looking lost… Christa: Uh…oh…ooops. I, uh, I’ve just been having some tiramisu…

Our beloved and incomparable Louis was frequently teased about being French. He was unrepentant of his heritage. Louis: I am proud of being a Frog! Vive le France!

Lionel seemed less intelligible than usual. Long days amidst crowds of hundred thousands take their toll. Or perhaps his own explanation is the true one. Julia: Would you please complete your sentences? Lionel: I cannot complete my sentences, my brain is not yet complete! Lionel: Life without living and stupid things… Christa: Is not worth living. Lionel: It’s the rest of my brain! Julia: You can complete his sentences for us now!

Christa: I live my life tongue in cheek. Joe: I live my life tongue in mouth.

Re: Christa Louis: Did you forget your brain? Christa: Yes, but I also forgot my umbrella.

After dripping a bit of yogurt on his shirt, Lionel gave himself a new name. Lionel: YOGURT MAN!

Re: Louis, being incoherent. Christa: What are you babbling on about? Louis: Babb-I-ling? Bubb-el-ing? What does that word mean? Christa: Babbling. It’s like the sound of a stream of water, and it means you are talking nonsense. Later, re: Christa Louis: What are you babbling on about? Christa: (muttering) Backstabbing wretch…

Re: Christa acting, actually, pretty normal. Joe: Christa, have you been drinking? Christa: Yeah. Joe: Oh? Christa: Water.

Re: the allegation that “Frogs” eat frogs: Louis: Yes, we eat frogs. We make wine, and we dry the frog, and stick it in the bottle, and then we pour in the wine. We drink the wine, and then we eat the frog. Christa: Is there a frog in your canteen? Louis: Yes. It’s talking. Can you hear it? Talking into canteen That’s enough! Recapping canteen I speak to my frog in English. Christa: Good grief.

We invented the “rubbish” game. “Rubbish” is such a fun word to say! Being a quotidian word for Joe, perhaps he was not quite as enchanted as the rest of us. Joe: Rubbish? Christa: Rubbish! Louis: Rubbish! Juan: Rubbish! Ryan: Rubbish! Robert: Rubbish! Elizabeth: Rubbish! Catharine: Rubbish! Joe: Traaash! Garbage! Christa: Rubbish rubbish ruuuuubbish! Louis: Rubbish!

Re: Christa Juan: Pay attention, woman!

The small Spanish contingent often traveled with the Anglophones. They adored Gregory as a savior and made up a chant: Gregory! Gregory! Gregory! Tua salva nos!

Sporting a fedora, yellow neckerchief, blue overshirt, shorts and sandals, Louis cut quite a figure. Louis: American cowboys have leather jackets and boots. But I am a French cowboy!

Andrea, Carrie, Justin and Breier and Christa opted out of an optional and ultimately futile trip to jam-packed Cologne Cathedral. On being asked why Christa had joined their party, Carrie was blunt. Carrie: We brainwashed her.

In that private sidetrip to Wuppertal Christa was astonished at all the graffiti. Christa: This is amazing. I can actually understand German graffiti better than I can understand American graffiti! It actually makes sense! Justin: Soo, what does THAT graffiti mean? Christa: Uhhh……..I dunno. It’s too American.

Despite all the irritated quotes, Gregory really is a sweetheart. It just goes to show how frustrating the situation was. Gregory: Here’s a chance for someone to earn a candybar. What do you think: Is this all well-organized? Anglophones: No!!!! Gregory: Mars’ bars all around!

Sitting quietly in luxury on a train, Louis declares out of a clear blue sky… Louis: I am not laughing. Christa: Huh? Louis: You did not make me laugh. Christa: What? I wasn’t trying to make you laugh! Louis: You don’t have to try. Christa: …Heeey! Juan: chuckling He gets it.

Re: bottled water Joe: I’m impressed. Christa: Why? Joe: I don’t know.

As Juan, ever the photographer, passes his handiwork around… Christa: I don’t take a very good picture. Justin: Juan took that picture.

Juan was hard at it again, with Christa as a subject at a very unflattering angle. She waxed rhetorical. Christa: Why do you always take pictures of me from behind? Justin: Because that’s your best side. Christa: … Justin: Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll think of something to say in a minute.

Don’t say Germans don’t have imaginations… Christa: Since I’ve been in Germany, I’ve discovered seven different ways to flush a toilet.

The trains to Marienfeld for the Papal Mass were packed to the point of suffocation. Justin: This train is 75lbs overloaded. Christa, I’m afraid we’ll have to throw you off. On second thought, maybe he just has no regard for “PCness”. Justin: I’m not a Jew, and this isn’t 1939!

On the Marienfeld, night before the Papal Mass, our very tired pilgrims were simply bursting with terrible good humor, mostly regarding the nature of the WYD program. Tara: Let’s do some liturgical dance! Juan: I should become a priest, then everyone could call me “Don Juan”! Julie: We should have more oratories so people can get these campy songs out of their systems before Sacred Liturgy.

Christa attempted to pass out cotton candy to her fellow starving pilgrims. But there were some who resisted. Christa: Cotton candy? Justin: It looks like fiberglass insulation! I have so many unpleasant associations with that stuff… Christa: Well, fine, then, don’t. More for us… J ustin: Let me try some.

Re: big aboveground pools of water that eventually were filled with floating candles on the Marienfeld. Christa: Whatever is that big pool of water there for? Aristotle: So we can ask what it’s there for.

Re: Karolina’s luggage Dorothy: I’ll take this bag and you strong boys can take that big one. Aristotle: Are you strong? Charles: Uhm…I’m a boy…

Reiteration…re: Christa Justin: There’s contemplative religious, active religious, and HYPER-ACTIVE religious for people like YOU! Justin: Those poor Norbertine nuns don’t know what they’re getting into. Justin: You’re like the Energizer bunny. You just keep going and going and going… Elizabeth: Who is banging on the window? Carrie: Christa. Who else?

Re: Johanna’s acrobatic abilities Edward: Can you swing onto the bus’ luggage rack? Johanna: Probably, but I’m not… Christa: I can! Does so

Exactly what the exhausted busload of pilgrims wanted to hear… Johanna: I am SO wired right now!

Hey. So she likes pina coladas without the alcohol. Christa: Vir-gin co-la-da! Vir-gin co-la-da! Vir-gin co-la-da! Joe: You’re never going to stop, are you. Christa: Vir-gin co-la-da! Vir-gin co-la-da! Vir-gin co-la-da! No, probably not.