Sighing deeply as Sabu walked out again, Rob tried not to look too put off by his friend�s uncaring words. By now he should have been used to it, but things had changed. Rob�s feelings had changed.
�One of these days he�ll pull his head out of ass and realize what he wants, Rob,� Fonzie, sitting to his left, commented dryly. The man had gotten used to the two of them by now, and somewhere along the way had figured out how Rob felt.
�You just have to help him figure it out.�
Rob sighed. If only he knew how.
~
082.If.
�I missed you.�
A whisper, but Sabu caught it anyway. Rob didn�t mean for him to miss it. There was that ever-present worry, that Rob expected something similar in return, but gentle eyes and smiling lips quieted those demons. For now.
�I know,� Sabu replied quietly, voice rough, and he allowed himself to be lost in loving hands and a comforting warmth.
He had often wondered what it would be like to be what Rob wanted them to. He didn�t dare find out, didn�t dare risk it, but in the end, it was always there, looming over him. What if?
~
083.And.
�You could have said something.�
Rob was practically sulking, Sabu noted, and had crossed his arms like a defiant toddler. Endearing, really, if not somewhat frightening.
�And have you go easy on me? Not happening.�
�I could have hurt you!�
�But you didn�t, and I�m fine. Now stop acting like a three year-old.�
A door slammed shut and the usually mellow Rob had left the room in a huff. Sabu sighed, wondering when working with his friend had become so very difficult. Then flashes of concerned eyes, searching lips and words of endearment sprang to mind, and suddenly he knew.
~
084.He.
�Please,� Rob begged, causing the hairs at the back of Sabu�s neck to stand on end. Hands clung to him, pulled him down. He tried to ignore it, but Rob�s twisting beneath him made that almost impossible.
�What do you want?� Sabu asked, pretending he wasn�t affected by every needy whimper or contented sigh. Sometimes he wondered if Rob even knew what power he had over him. It took very little for Sabu to cave, and yet Rob always asked, like Sabu had a choice.
Shuddering at whispered words of lust, Sabu realized that he had never called the shots.
~
085.She.
Rob loved his wife. And Sabu liked her, but that didn�t change how he felt. Too often did he catch himself glaring at her.
He simply couldn�t help himself. Kissing Rob, fucking him, it all meant so much more when he�d just had to watch the perfect couple. Only, they weren�t, because while Rob loved her, he was still more than willing to let Sabu fuck him.
Watching the two, all bright smiles and friendly eyes, Sabu could not help but feel envious. While he had Rob so very often, she had him when it mattered. And he hated it.
~
086.Choices.
�Room with me tonight,� Sabu murmured, making sure no one else heard. After so many times, both knew what that request meant. Sabu didn�t even have to ask these days, but when he did Rob knew exactly what he wanted. And it didn�t include separate beds.
�No.�
Sabu hadn�t expected that answer. �Excuse me?�
�I said no.�
Frowning, he tried to figure out what to do next.
�What crawled up your ass today?�
�Nothing, I�m just sick of being nothing more than a toy,� Rob hissed. �Make up your mind, or I�m out of here. The choice is yours, Sabu.�
~
087.Life.
It was strange, Sabu realized, how much he hated his life right now. Stuck in a company many wrestlers could only dream of, he shouldn�t have been complaining, yet for him it had turned into a nightmare. Some people spent their entire life reaching for what he had, but had to watch it slip away. Not Sabu.
�You okay?�
Looking up at Rob, he nodded. Feeling a hand linger on his shoulder, squeeze it comfortingly, he couldn�t help but wonder how horrible he�d feel if Rob hadn�t been there. In the end, he was the only reason Sabu held on.
~
088.School.
�It�s okay.�
Sabu didn�t seem convinced, though, and Rob leaned over to nuzzle his neck. Chuckling at the expected swing of an arm, he could visibly see Sabu unwind. Once again Sabu hadn�t known how to deal with Rob professing how he felt, the guarded look of worry on his face almost upsetting.
�I�m not like that.�
Rob sighed, simply nodding. He was well aware.
�I wish you could teach me,� Sabu muttered. Rob wasn�t sure whether he was joking or serious. It was difficult to tell sometimes.
�Perhaps one of these days I�ll give it a go.�
If only.
~
089.Work.
It could work. As different as they were, Rob knew he could make it happen. He was sure that if he tried hard enough, he could somehow convince Sabu that he was worth the bother. Only, he�d been trying to for so long and Sabu still hadn�t caught on. Or perhaps he had, but chose to ignore it. Neither option was comforting at all.
�You ready?� Sabu asked as he grabbed his things. Rob wasn�t, hadn�t even showered yet, but he nodded anyway.
Perhaps tonight, if he dared, he�d just outright say what he wanted. He wanted to be more.
~
090.Home.
After years of travelling, home no longer was what people expected it to be. Instead of a safe haven, it had turned into a pit-stop; a place to restock fuel, sleep, and dump unnecessary junk.
For Sabu it was no different. Sometimes hotel rooms were more home to him than his own house. It was disheartening, dealing with this fast-paced life on the road, especially when the place you looked to for rest had become nothing more than just another room.
Feeling Rob move next to him, Sabu was glad that at least this piece of home would never change.
~
091.Birthday.
Birthdays were special. Rob loved them, because it meant spending time with friends.
With Rob�s birthday fast approaching - and with that Sabu�s as well - he had tried to come up with something. Getting away from the others would be a trial, but Rob figured Sabu would prefer it that way. However, on the day itself, Rob was at a loss for words.
�Figured you would like this,� Sabu muttered, eying all of Rob�s friends with trepidation. Barely able to keep from kissing the man then and there, hugging him instead, Rob realized there could be no better present.
~
092.Christmas.
�Is he always this grumpy?�
Rob grinned, ignoring the look of utter annoyance he received from across the store. Sabu knew they were talking about him.
�No, he�s just practising for the school play. He�s Ebenezer Scrooge.�
The store-clerk didn�t really seem to catch on to the fact that Rob was joking, but then he didn�t really mind as he briskly walked out. Sabu followed closely, the scowl on his face causing Rob to chuckle.
�What were you gossiping about?�
�Your shiny disposition. Come on, we have our alcohol now. Let�s celebrate the joys of Christmas.�
And that was that.
~
093.Thanksgiving.
�Stop scowling, they�re just being polite.�
Choosing to glare instead, Sabu merely nodded when the monstrous turkey was placed in front of them. Seated near the back, they hadn�t expected to really be a part of the meal, happy as they were with just grabbing some leftovers and then bailing.
�Sabu,� Rob all but warned.
�Thanksgiving is a useless holiday.�
Rob sighed. �You say that about all of them.�
Sabu shrugged.
�Grouch,� his partner murmured. Sabu said nothing, he knew Rob was right.
The only thing he was giving thanks for was the fact that Rob didn�t seem to care.
~
094.Independence.
�You�re drunk,� Rob observed as he sat down next to his partner.
�I know, and I don�t give a fuck.�
Rob smiled. �I didn�t think you would.�
There was a lull in the fireworks outside, and for a second all seemed quiet.
�Rob?�
�Hmm?� Rob turned his head, noticed the way Sabu was staring at him.
�I like you.�
Another smile. �I know.�
Sabu frowned. �I really like you, you�re cool.�
Sighing, Rob bent forward and kissed him, tasting the liquor that made his partner say these things. He knew the next morning he�d deny every word. And it hurt.
~
095.New Year.
The world aging yet another year always managed to make an impression, be it good or bad. While Sabu hated celebrating yet another year of nothing, Rob loved it. They were polar opposites when it came to that, which was also why they stayed away from each other until midnight.
�I still don�t see why you like this,� Sabu grumbled as both watched the clock tick away.
Smiling, Rob leaned in to answer. �It means we�ve survived another year together.�
Hugging his partner close, he caught the contented sigh before all hell broke loose. Standing there together, all was well.
~
096.Denial.
�He�s not my boyfriend,� Sabu snarled, palms itching to hit Taz for opening his big mouth. Some of the younger guys stared at him, eyes inquiring and mouths smirking.
�Trust me, he�s not,� Sabu continued, ignoring the knowing chuckles.
�Damn it, Taz, he�s not my fucking boyfriend!�
Stalking off, Sabu scowled at the amusement in Rob�s eyes. Today would be one of those days.
�You know, you just denied me three times. I really should smite your ass.�
Sabu snorted. �You�re a lot of things, Rob, but you�re not the son of God. You�re not that special.�
Rob just chuckled.
~
097.First Kiss.
Their first real kiss had been a disaster. Not because they�d fumbled like fools or other disastrous things had happened , but because Rob knew that he�d forever beg for more.
Many a time he�d wondered what it�d be like, had pictured passionate eyes, hands grabbing at him and stuttered words of love. That would never be the case, but the thought had been nice.
The actual kiss had been different. Soft, and oddly fragile, it seemed like Sabu had needed to gather the courage to actually do something. But once he did, Rob knew he�d never be the same.
~
098.Trouble.
�That kid�s trouble .�
Tearing his eyes away from the new arrival - a tawny-haired boy with sparkling eyes - Sabu frowned at his uncle.
�Want me to do something about it?�
Soft chuckles and a shake of the head left Sabu confused. Again looking at the boy his uncle had been referring to, he saw those eyes stare back at him. He didn�t seem threatening, but somehow the boy�s interest made Sabu want to snarl at someone. He felt strangely uncomfortable under the scrutiny.
�What kind of trouble?�
His uncle smiled fleetingly, the amusement almost scary.
�Trouble for you.�
~
099.
�Long time no see,� Sabu muttered, bitterness in his voice.
�It�s not like Vince gives us time off to visit.�
�Bullshit.�
Rob sighed. �Fine, I just hate seeing you like this.�
Silence, and Rob couldn�t help himself. He walked over to the hospital-bed and slipped an arm around his partner. Ignoring Sabu�s unhappy murmurs � probably worried Rob would get sick too and be stuck in the same room as him � he rested his head against Sabu�s.
�I�ll visit again soon.�
�You�ll take months.�
�I won�t.�
�You will. It�s alright, I�ll call you when I�m better.�
Rob swallowed visibly. �Damnit, Sabu.�
~
100. Fascination.
�Why are you so fascinated with those?�
Sabu hissed as Rob�s tongue followed the length of his biggest scar, the one winding its way up his stomach.
�I just am. Besides, I love it that you make funny noises like that.�
Another hiss, this time because Rob had straddled Sabu, hands now on either side of his head. Rob peered down on the older man, simply watching. Sabu looked up, caught the humour in his eyes.
�That�s a deep answer,� he muttered sarcastically, struggling under Rob�s weight.
Rob smiled, bending down for a kiss. Everything about the man fascinated him.