He saw them, in his nightmares. Shapes, contours of people he knew yet didn�t, walking past. He tried stopping them, but they always escaped. He�d spend his entire dream chasing the unobtainable, and the shapes would laugh.
�Sabu? You�re almost pushing me out the bed, dude.�
Waking up to Rob�s sleepy voice, he could still feel his body shake.
��m sorry,� he muttered, turning over. Trying not to think of his dream, it came to him anyway. Shards of words, of menacing laughs. He didn�t calm down until Rob cuddled up to him. At least that dream had become real.
~
042.Triangle.
Rob never thought he�d allow himself to be a part of a love triangle. He knew it would hurt, not just him. But, as he sat there, he had to admit that he was now part of one. After years, he�d recognized it, and he was angry.
To his left, Sabu stared at the monitor. His match was next, and he was ready. Sighing, Rob didn�t even bother to get his attention.
Rob knew the triangle existed, and could do nothing about it. For he loved Sabu, Sabu loved wrestling, and somehow wrestling loved Rob. He wished it were different.
~
043.Square.
There were times when Rob hated everything about wrestling. The politics, the hypocrisy, and the fact that grovelling seemed to matter more than actual skills. He knew Sabu did too.
Yet, as both discussed their match � really, there wasn�t much to discuss � he could feel that slight twang in his chest. This was how things had been, and how things should be. But with Sabu�s moods, and Rob�s impending hiatus, both knew it wouldn�t be.
Sometimes the squared circle just wasn�t enough. As Sabu sat there, morosely suggesting things � knowing they�d be shot down by everyone else � Rob knew why.
~
044.Circle.
For years Sabu had circled around the thought of them as anything more than friends. Rob had realised this, noticed the furtive glances and confusion on his face. So their little game of cat-and-mouse had started.
Knowing how to tempt Sabu, Rob had tried his hardest to make him see reason. Never forcing, he showed him what might be. Eventually, Sabu couldn�t stand it.
Returning urgent kisses, the thrill of what they were doing exciting him, Rob knew things would change. Whether he could deal with his ill-tempered friend, he didn�t know, but he was glad the game had ended.
~
045.Moon.
It was quiet out. Except for the purring sound of the engine, Rob didn�t hear much. Having turned down the radio so Sabu could sleep, he was left to listen to his own inner ramblings. High up in the sky, the moon seemed to be mocking him.
Frowning, Rob focused on the road instead. It had been his fault. Sabu would have his head in the morning.
Looking to his right, Rob could see the uncomfortable way Sabu�s neck was bent. That would mean trouble when he woke up. Agreeing with him, the bright moon continued to light his path.
~
046.Star.
He was the star of the show. Here, at this meaningless Indy, they�d all come to see him. It still surprised Rob sometimes, the total devotion some people had, and as he stood there signing autographs, he couldn�t help but feel proud.
Walking to the back, he smiled happily. He found his partner fiddling with his ring-gear. Their match would be the main-event, and Rob swore Sabu had chosen his best pair of pants � if that meant anything � for it.
Even if people saw him as the star, he knew he�d always be second to Sabu. And he didn�t mind.
047.Heart.
He wanted to hit Sabu. There was this violent urge rushing through him to hit his friend-and-sometimes-lover. Unleash his anger, act on his impulses, he wanted to so badly. Rob wasn�t used to feeling like that, and deep down it scared him.
�I can�t believe you just said that,� he murmured, shocked, fighting to keep his voice under control. Sabu didn�t need to know what he was feeling. He probably didn�t even care.
�What? You�re horny, I�m hurt. Go find someone to amuse yourself with. I don�t give a fuck.�
Staring at Sabu�s retreating form, Rob felt his heart break.
~
048.Diamond.
When people looked at Sabu they saw glaring eyes and ragged scars. Talking to him was a trial, respect not easily earned, and very few took the time to dig deep. Most didn�t bother, finding his moods too difficult.
Not Rob. No one had ever fascinated him as much as Sabu did.
When Rob looked at Sabu, he saw a diamond in the rough. Someone who with a little bit of help could captivate people. They didn�t see him that way, but perhaps one day they would. Only, Rob wasn�t sure that when that happened, he�d be willing to share.
~
049.Club.
�No, thanks, I�ll join you guys some other time.�
People shrugged, then Rob was left alone with Sabu. The man sat staring at him again, a frown on his face and lips ever scowling.
�Why the fuck didn�t you go and celebrate Punk�s birthday at that fancy club they�ve been talking about?�
A smile, Rob listening to Sabu�s footsteps following him, and he held the door open.
�Ah, but how could I survive without one night of your bitching?�
That reply left Sabu muttering obscenities, but as Rob looked closely, even he could see the appreciation. And that was enough.
~
050.Spade.
�What do you mean, you don�t want to room with me again? Did I do something wrong?�
Rob�s tone was one of confusion, but also of hurt. They�d been rooming together for years now, had even slept in the same bed when necessary, and Sabu�s sudden decision must have come as a surprise.
�No. I just want to travel alone.�
�I see,� Rob muttered.
Only afterwards, when sad eyes haunted him and silence followed his every step, did Sabu realize that he�d been digging a huge, inescapable hole for himself. And this time Rob wasn�t there to pull him out.
~
051.Water.
When Rob entered their hotel-room, mind still buzzing from that night�s show, he initially didn�t hear the water running. Pausing in the doorway, he listened for a second to the clatter of it hitting stone, then walked in.
Sabu was eying him with tired eyes, his stance one of discomfort. Scorching hot droplets landed on Rob�s arms.
Not even caring if he ended up drenched � his singlet needed washing anyway � Rob stepped forward, tentatively rubbing the man�s shoulders. Nothing was said, so he grew bolder. Eventually, Sabu�s shoulders relaxed and he closed his eyes. Sometimes hot water simply wasn�t enough.
~
052.Fire.
Pursed lips, hands wringing together uncomfortably, and worried eyes didn�t seem to stop Sabu. Both Beulah and Francine sat in the dressing-room, Tommy and Shane in the hallway discussing a match. The women watched Sabu as he prepared what he needed for one of his uncle�s infamous fireballs.
They�d tried to reason with him, then with Rob, but neither had budged. Watching his partner, Rob could feel the chills run up his spine. He hated fire. It never did what you expected it to. But, as he saw the excitement in his lover�s eyes, he knew he couldn�t back down.
~
053.Earth.
�Give me a minute and I�m gone.�
Rob didn�t understand. Instead of spending the weekend comfortably curled up on a couch, or even � heaven forbid � in bed, Sabu was busy packing his bags. Rob had figured that with the man�s injury, and his inability to wrestle, they could relax. Sabu thought differently.
�But I don�t want you to.�
�The world doesn�t revolve around what you want, Rob.�
As Sabu walked out the door - in obvious pain - and towards the waiting cab, Rob realised this all too well. Even if his world had started to revolve around someone else.
~
054.Air.
At first Rob�s doting affection had been unwanted, stifling even. His constant interest, unwavering in its adoration, had been overly frustrating. Even when both had given into their attraction had the questions � meaning so much, even if they didn�t appear to � suffocated him, left him gasping.
Only now, once Sabu had realized why Rob asked so much yet expected so little, did Sabu feel comfortable with them. Every concerned word, every worried look, they spoke of Rob�s insecurities � not his.
So when Rob hurried towards him after their match, words flowing, he scowled like he usually did. And said nothing.
~
055.Spirit.
Even after all these years, there were things about Rob that Sabu still couldn�t understand. There were so many conflicting qualities to his partner that his whole existence seemed a paradox. Mellow, yet fierce in his defence of those he loved. Easy-going, but opinionated. Hell, even the friendly smiles seemed to stand in stark contrast to the bitterness Sabu heard in his voice.
People were drawn to him because of it, Rob was so unique. It had been the same for Sabu.
These days the one he loved most was the Rob that could be extremely jealous. Because of him.
~
056.Breakfast.
Sabu frowned. �I didn�t ask for a bagel.�
�I know.�
�Then why is it on my plate?�
A sly grin, hands fumbling with a ponytail. �I�m feeling cheerful.�
�And why are there coloured sprinkles on this bagel?�
Rob smiled, carefully finishing his coffee - all the while trying to break his own bagel into smaller pieces.
�Because I�m feeling extra cheerful?�
Eying the food with distaste, Sabu sighed. Looking up at Rob, he noticed the glimmer of amusement in his eyes. Muttering something obscene, he started removing each and every offending sprinkle from his meal. Oh, how he hated mornings.
~
057.Lunch.
Climbing out of the car, Rob stretched his legs. Driving for hours never did anyone good, and even the pleasant weather didn�t alleviate the fact that they�d been cooped up in a tiny rental the entire morning. Now, �round lunch-time, both of them were hungry � Sabu showing it by yelling at Rob over small things, and Rob simply admitting to it.
�Go get me some food,� Sabu ordered gruffly , still slouched in his seat. Nodding, though raising an eyebrow, Rob left the car. By the time he�d be back, Sabu would be asleep. Just the way he liked it.
~
058.Dinner.
Both sat facing the television, munching on their dinner and pretending they weren�t confused as to what was going on. Italian TV seemed to be rather flashy, and while they could understand a word or two, the premise of the show was lost on them.
The pizza they had ordered had been forgotten the moment Rob moved over, leaning against Sabu as he watched the screen.
�Homesick?� Sabu asked.
�A little. Having you around helps, though.�
Looking down at him, Sabu was once again struck by how much he loved being that one piece of home Rob needed above all.
~
059.Food.
There were some things in life people couldn�t live without; the basic necessities. Food, water, oxygen, clothing, a roof over their head and - depending on the person � love, and all sorts of mushy things Sabu saw no reason for.
In the end, Sabu hated having to rely on them.
Yet, as he felt himself get restless because Rob once again wasn�t there, he realised that over the years one other necessity had managed to squeeze itself in. And truth be told, he�d give up all the others in a heartbeat, if only to have that one around every day.
~
060.Drink.
If people had the guts to talk to him, then Sabu was sure they�d tell him to stop drinking. Gulping down more, he was glad his fearsome reputation stopped them. Throwing an empty bottle to the side, he grabbed another one, ignoring all the annoyed glances and admonishing stares.
�Stupid fuckers,� he muttered crossly.
Sighing as his mind replayed the earlier argument, he wished he hadn�t been so stupid. Rob�s hurt expression flashed before his eyes, making him bring the bottle to his lips again.
If he wanted to get drunk, then he would, and right now he needed to.