As he stood there, tired eyes following the glistening path of raindrops sliding down the window, Rob couldn�t help but laugh bitterly at himself. There was something ironic about standing here, looking out at the rain, and pretending he wasn�t waiting again. But nothing could mask the truth. He should have left an hour ago, but he hadn�t. Somehow even common sense ended up the loser when it came to this.
Sabu should have been back almost two hours ago, but of course hadn�t shown up. The room stayed annoyingly empty, and the door stayed shut. Alternating between pacing around and watching something on TV � something he didn�t understand and was only getting annoyed with � Rob had been nothing but restless. Outside the rain was soaking the world in noisy splashes, but inside it was eerily quiet.
At first Rob had worried, then he had been gripped by anxiety and anger, but now he was far past any of that. He held onto what he was used to, that calm, relaxed shell of himself, but he could feel it slipping. Emotions, violent ones, were threatening to take a hold of him. Eventually they�d burst out, and when they did Rob knew he�d feel even more miserable than he did now.
Sitting back on the bed, Rob listened stoically to the clatter outside. There wasn�t anything else to listen to, really, because the rain was deafening in its ferocity. Like it wanted to drown out everything else and be the sole force occupying his thoughts. If only it would. Instead he was sitting here, on a messy bed, staring at stained windows and the gloomy contours of an apartment building, doing nothing.
His phone rang, the sound high-pitched and strange, and he stared at it for a few seconds. He could just see the screen display. Raven. Figured that he wanted to meddle in things again. Rob didn�t know what time it was there, but it must have been early. At least that meant his friend had made an effort, but Rob wasn�t sure if he wanted to talk to anyone right now. It felt like his brain was broken, too many things going on at once, and he knew Raven�s excessive prodding wasn�t going to help. So he let it ring, the flashing of the lights and dodgy ringtone enough to distract him for a moment. Raven gave up soon after and all was quiet again.
Feeling slightly guilty for not picking up, Rob considered sending a text-message at least, but he was interrupted by the opening of a door. At first it didn�t seem like Sabu had realized Rob was still here, because his face was downcast and there was a vacant look in his eyes. When he looked up, though, there was a sudden edge to them. And surprise, something Rob could barely stomach. Did the man know so very little about him, that he thought he�d have left?
�Oh. You�re still here?�
Just a couple of words, but enough to cause Rob�s anger to surface again. Here he�d been, waiting patiently like a fucking lapdog, and when Sabu returned he sounded almost amused that Rob was still around. Not for the first time Rob wondered if perhaps he shouldn�t have been around. Leave, forget all this happened, and just allow Sabu to be the miserable bastard he wanted to be.
Sabu closed the door, and Rob just stood there � shivering with anger. Where was the excitement at Sabu�s return? Where was the relief? Gone, eclipsed by the indifferent and callous way Sabu spoke to him. Like he didn�t give a fuck and would have been happy either way.
�What? Were you expecting me to be gone?� Rob asked bitterly, hands itching to wrap around the other man�s throat.
�I guess.�
Sabu�s coat had been dropped on the floor, weighed down by all the water that had clung to it, and the man began looking for a towel. Grabbing one, Rob threw it at him with force, the fluffy white hitting Sabu in the face wonderfully. Eyes glared, of course, but besides that Sabu seemed oddly calm. He picked the thing up and started drying himself, seemingly unaware that Rob was standing near the bed and ready to throw other things at his head.
�You bastard,� Rob hissed, fingers hurting - he was clenching them so tight.
�Shut up.�
�Like fuck I will. I�ve been waiting for hours and this is what I get? �Oh, you�re still here?� Why don�t you just tell me to fuck off, if that�s what you want?� he snarled, muscles tense and his headache flaring as he narrowed his eyes on the other man. Like a car balancing on the edge of a cliff, he could feel the sand slip away from under him. Rocking back and forward, his resolve would give out, and it didn�t look like anyone was there to pull him back up.
�Fine then. Get out.�
Giving in to his instincts, Rob grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it as hard as he could at the other man�s head. This time it hit him in the forehead, an �umph� and uncomfortable snapping back of the neck exactly the result Rob had been looking for. A growl, hand clutching at the pained muscles, and Sabu rounded on him. Rob wanted to do something, take a swing perhaps, even throw something else that would hurt more, but he didn�t.
�I came all the way here for you �� he started angrily, but Sabu interrupted him. Water went flying as he moved, hair swinging in all directions. Both were angry, but Rob could also see that he wasn�t all Sabu was upset about.
�I didn�t fucking ask you to! Don�t think I�m going to bow down in thanks because you�re butting in where you�re not wanted. Now get out!�
�No, fuck this! I didn�t come all this way to be blown off simply because you can�t make up your mind!�
Outside sirens sped past, alien to their ears. Both were distracted by it, but soon there was nothing but rain again. Like nothing had changed.
�Damnit, Rob,� Sabu started, �I don�t want to deal with this.�
Rob sighed, raising a hand to his forehead as he felt something hammering into his skull. It definitely wasn�t common sense, though. �You came to me tonight, Sabu, not the other way around.�
�This is my hotel-room,� Sabu argued feebly.
�But you knew I�d be waiting.�
He had always been. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Rob knew he�d always hoped for some sign, had waited with bated breath for some indication as to how Sabu felt. Something more than just fleeting looks and Rob guessing, perhaps.
Standing there, still tense, he watched as Sabu snorted and headed for the bathroom. Another escape attempt, Rob realized, so he followed.
Initially he hadn�t even realised the room had a bathroom, though he should have guessed, but even the garish walls and questionable looking tiles couldn�t distract him. His head was pounding again, something he blamed on too much TV, and he�d give anything to just relax and stop this crazy game of theirs. Yet, at the same time, he didn�t, because ending it might mean losing. He hated losing, especially at this.
�Sabu...�
Busy throwing useless things in his bag � soap and hotel towels were hardly prized possessions � Sabu didn�t even seem to hear him. The man was soaked, but he didn�t seem to notice that either. His body was shivering, but his face remained calm as he masterfully ignored the other person in the room. He had done so before.
�Sabu, please,� Rob tried again, flinching at the clang of glass � probably stolen too � hitting the floor. Sabu had dropped his bag, harsh eyes now looking at Rob through a dripping curtain of hair.
Rob sighed. �I�m tired of chasing you.�
�Then give up.�
�No.� Rob moved closer, now standing eye to eye with his partner. �Let me catch you.�
�Fuck you and your Hallmark comments,� Sabu spat, moving to grab his bag, growling in annoyance as Rob placed a foot on its strap; his full weight now keeping the bag from going anywhere.
�Rob, I want my bag. Fuck off.�
�And end up once again following you around like some lost puppy? Fat chance.�
�You don�t have to follow. In fact, don�t.�
Rob chose that moment to move his leg to the side in a flash, the strap of the bag looping around his foot and causing the bag to fly through the air. The sudden movement and force made Sabu lose grip on it, the thing landing in a heap on the floor. Several items fell out, scattering, leaving behind a scene of disarray. Sabu stared at it for a second, a bone-chilling second that told Rob he was going to lose his temper.
Soon enough Rob found himself pinned against the wall, an elbow firmly pressing against his throat. He forced himself not to panic, knowing his calm would throw off Sabu even more. The more annoyed he was, the more he�d let his emotions get the best of him. Usually that had been what Rob tried to avoid � seeing as it had landed him flat on his ass on more than one occasion � but it was all he had left as an option.
�What the fuck is wrong with you, you stubborn asshole!� Sabu yelled at him, his face contorted in an angry grimace.
�You know�� Rob tried to ground out, barely able to catch his breath due to the insistent pressure of an elbow on his windpipe.
�Shut up!� Sabu interrupted. It hurt, but Rob didn�t make a sound. He couldn�t if he wanted to.
�I could have been in Japan! I could have been in the spotlight again, with people who appreciate me, but you had to show up! You always showed up!�
Left with not much of a choice, Rob listened, his wheezing the only thing that might distract Sabu. He, however, was shaking from more than just cold: angry at Rob and probably himself.
�I promised myself, I swore to myself, that I would let nothing get in the way of my career. I left ECW, it didn�t matter. I left Japan, it didn�t matter. I left ECW a second time, it didn�t fucking matter. During that time I left you and I thought it didn�t matter. But damnit, it had started to!�
�Sabu,� Rob tried, but he was interrupted.
�I knew it, but let it happen anyway. I made a fool of myself and betrayed who I was. Nothing is worth that. And you weren�t supposed to be either!�
Sabu relaxed, Rob�s breathing evening out as he stood there propped up against the wall. He wanted to say something, but he knew nothing he�d say would mean enough.
�And I just did it again.� Sabu was now leaning against the wall, and Rob could have easily pushed him back, but sad eyes halted him. Then whispered words, almost pained. �You shouldn�t have come. It�s only fucked things up. Damnit, Rob, I could have lived with missing you. Why do you have to be such a nosy brat?�
A sigh. �Because I couldn�t live with missing you.�
Both were silent then, Rob cursing himself for getting all �sappy� � Sabu hated it when he did that � and Sabu distracted by whatever went on in his head. Rob doubted he wanted to know.
�Stay,� he whispered, hating how he sounded. If only the boys could see him now, the days of being scorned in ECW would definitely be relived.
�Rob...�
It seemed neither knew what to say, something about the situation alien to them. Rob didn�t know whether to feel bad about trying to tempt Sabu into staying or feeling like he had to, and at the same time Sabu was frowning, voice trailing as words lost their meaning entirely. It was painful, this stark contrast between how easy their friendship had been and what it had turned into.
�You know,� Rob started, head resting against the rough wall behind him. �I thought I was enough. I tried so hard to be...�
It hurt, admitting he had failed at something. Especially because what he�d failed at was the one thing he never thought he would. No one knew Sabu like he did, Rob had thought back then, so no one but him should be able to hold onto him. In the end Sabu had broken free anyway, leaving Rob to try and find out what had gone wrong. It turned out mending fences wasn�t enough, and eventually even Rob had realised that. They would break, and so would he.
�I�m sorry,� Sabu murmured, �I.... Fuck, I don�t know, but I�m sorry.�
Nodding, Rob carefully looped an arm around Sabu�s waist, pulling him closer, and Rob could feel the man tremble. Sighing as he felt an arm tentatively wrap around him in return, Rob buried his face against the other man�s neck. Moments like these never lasted long, though he always hoped they would.
Feeling every sigh. every twitch and shudder, Rob finally felt content. Sabu was freezing, but hands were already making short work of that. It seemed to please both of them, at least for now, because Sabu relaxed under the attention.
�You�re cold.� Rob�s hands rubbed shoulders, travelling down as they tried to bring warmth to the icy skin. The shirt Sabu had been wearing was soaked through, not protected by the jacket and ragged scarf, instead almost see-through. Knowing Sabu, he�d get a cold, and Rob could already imagine the bitching that would go with it.
�Very observant,� came the reply, sarcasm sneaking back into the voice that had been so honest seconds before. Not sure whether the change was good or not, Rob chose to ignore it and said nothing. �Stubborn bastard,� Sabu continued, affection clear in his voice.
Rob smiled at the remark, not even bothering to defend himself. Even though Sabu was undoubtedly the worse of the two, there was no point in challenging that now. Besides, Rob was rather proud of being so stubborn, if it meant he�d be able to deal with his sullen companion.
�Hmm,� he replied � if it could be called that � and brought one hand up, pushing back hair and resting on Sabu�s shoulder. Limbs tensed, but besides the fact that Rob could feel Sabu�s eyes on him, nothing changed. Nuzzling his neck gently, lips teasing, Rob waited for the inevitable withdrawal.
When it came � complete with annoyed snort and surprisingly pained eyes � Rob was ready, arms wrapping even more securely around the man�s shoulders, a kiss stifling every unhappy murmur.
While most of their kisses had been savage, Rob had no misguided ideas about this one. He couldn�t force anything - didn�t want to - so he just let it happen. Yesterday�s kiss had meant a lot, but this one somehow meant more. Because Sabu had come back. Even if he�d been a bastard about it.
A pleased sigh, then Rob realised Sabu�s eyes had closed and his brow had furrowed, like an internal discussion was raging, two sides of Sabu�s personality battling it out. Deepening the kiss, taste and hushed sounds flooded his senses, lips strangely soft.
�Don�t,� Sabu tried, but it didn�t help much.
�I think I caught you ages ago,� Rob breathed between kisses, hands pulling at the dark red shirt now that there was nothing stopping him. �You just never realised and kept running.�
He wouldn�t let anything stop him, anyway, because Sabu was his, whether the grouchy man admitted it or not. He wasn�t about to let him escape again; allow him to hide because the alternative scared him so. No, because he knew that Sabu deep down didn�t want Rob to leave. He knew it, could feel it in the way the man relaxed, felt the quiver of want as Rob let him go with one hand and instead threaded it in his partner�s dark hair. He only broke the kiss momentarily, allowing both to take in harsh breaths. Rob could see the fire in Sabu�s dark eyes, the ones that were so hard to read yet most of the times the only way to figure out what Sabu was feeling.
�You�re an idiot,� Rob whispered, teeth grazing the sensitive skin of his lover�s neck, hands massaging the other man�s scalp with soft, short strokes. �But you�re my idiot.�
An uncharacteristic whimper left Sabu at that, his hand now clawing at Rob�s back. Rob would have contemplated the meaning of that whimper if he hadn�t been so preoccupied with burying his face against the man�s neck, shivers running down his spine as fingernails danced across his body, leaving marks in complicated patterns.
Their time apart, these last days spent constantly on guard, it had made him hungry, had left him wanting nothing more than to melt against Sabu and force him to admit he needed it as well. So he pulled him forward again, their kisses more fleeting this time, lips barely touching, but intensifying once Rob�s hand dropped from Sabu�s hair to his back, hurriedly slipping under the ghastly shirt Sabu was wearing. Tearing it wouldn�t be such a bad thing.
Sabu�s back was rough as it had always been under Rob�s hands, the touch of Rob�s cold palm causing Sabu to arch and shy away from the chill. Rob could feel the shudder go through his lover as he flattened his hand, carefully moving it across the skin as if he were mapping an area that might have changed over time. Who knew what scars had joined those already there? He had to check, brush his hands over them, feel Sabu�s muscles tense at the friction.
Rob flinched as he felt Sabu�s teeth nip his bottom lip, felt the rush of lust well up in him at the heated look in the man�s eyes. This position was familiar, and Rob knew that sooner or later Sabu was going to try and change their positions, take control like he always had. Not this time.
�Oh no, you don�t,� Rob muttered, catching the hand that had sneakily slid up his chest, and instead grabbed hold of that detestable shirt. He pulled the other man forward, would have chuckled at his surprise. They nearly tripped over Sabu�s bag on their way out of the bathroom, but Rob managed to guide the two of them towards the bed, Sabu too overwhelmed to do anything about it.
Rob was heavier and stronger than Sabu, so it was rather easy to get him on the bed, especially because he was so stunned by Rob�s actions. Sabu tried to roll over immediately, get his leverage back, but Rob straddled him, forcing the man down on the bed. He relaxed there for a second, his hands pinning the other�s wrists down. Sabu was struggling again, but Rob realised it was more for posterity�s sake than anything else. He could see the lust in the man�s eyes, feel its result against his thigh. Sabu wasn�t going anywhere.
�If you wanted to play cat and mouse, then you should have told me.�
�Rob, get off me,� Sabu ordered half-heartedly, but there was no edge to his words. He seemed thoroughly distracted, his eyes glazed over, lips slightly swollen, hair dark against the white sheets. Rob was quite proud at having accomplished that. He bent forward, kissing those lips, taking the bottom lip in his mouth and pulling lightly, teasing. The hand he was holding down tried to escape, but Rob kept his weight on it, not yet ready to let go.
�Still running?� he asked, feeling the involuntary twitch of muscles as he lowered his head, nipping, biting, tasting the skin of Sabu�s neck. A particularly nasty pull of teeth caused Sabu�s breath to hitch, his nails digging into Rob�s wrist, but still Rob pressed down.
�No more running, Sabu,� he whispered against the man�s skin, tongue leaving a wet trail over his collarbone, right above the red material of the t-shirt, lips loving with teasingly light kisses. Rob lifted his head, smiling at the way Sabu�s eyes were still closed, how his brow furrowed like he was trying to control himself. He caught the way Sabu�s mouth moved, like he was saying something but had forgotten to put sound to it. For a moment Rob worried about what he was saying, if it was some sort of prayer, or a request he didn�t want to hear, but when Sabu opened his eyes again, staring at Rob to see what he was doing, all his worries disappeared.
He let go of Sabu�s wrists, but instead of turning them over, Sabu stayed where he was, looking up at Rob. His hands remained where they were as well, one lightly clutching the sheets, the other limp. Rob looked at him, caught the look on the man�s face, as if he was thinking too much again. Rob couldn�t think of a better way to get that look off his face than to kiss him again, the rush of lust that throbbed though him when he heard Sabu moan urging him on as his tongue probed his lover�s mouth, teeth occasionally scraping over sensitive lips.
�Rob�,� Sabu croaked out in between kisses, his voice ragged, only spurring Rob on as he tried to remove the man�s shirt, shaky hands desperate to loosen buttons, but failing, ripping them off instead.
�Sssh.�
Sabu�s hips bucked upwards, increasing the contact between them, as Rob�s hands disappeared under the remains of Sabu�s shirt. Soon, through struggled movements, the entire horrible red thing was gone, having been thrown away with force. Rob thought he heard a thud, but didn�t care much.
Lips travelled down Sabu�s scars, Rob�s hands struggling to remove the man�s pants. He could hear Sabu muttering again, still not clear enough for Rob to understand, but Rob figured he was enjoying himself. It was comforting to hear now, making Rob feel like he wasn�t alone in this, though the constant sharp movements of Sabu�s body already told him that.
By the time the pants had been removed Sabu was twisting and turning under Rob, his hand holding onto Rob�s hair. Rob didn�t mind, it only added to the rush of things, and Sabu was subconsciously guiding him to the more sensitive areas. New scars, still overly sensitive to the touch, and that small one under his collarbone. Words kept leaving the man�s lips, occasionally joined by Rob�s name. It made Rob curious, but not enough to distract him.
Rob lifted off of Sabu as he removed the last item of clothing, leaning to the side to allow himself better access but still straddling him to make sure the man wouldn�t try and wriggle his way on top. Not yet. Rob quickly removed his own shirt before rubbing his hands on his pants. He liked to startle Sabu, but not into cardiac arrest. So he warmed his hands, lips returning to that spot underneath Sabu�s ear that he adored so. Once he was satisfied that his hands were no longer cold he teasingly ran them down Sabu�s sides, fingers touching so lightly that goose bumps were forming. He could hear an annoyed murmur, but it was quickly replaced by a startled moan as one of Rob�s hands closed around Sabu�s cock.
�Like that?� Rob asked quietly, grinning at the slow nodding Sabu used to reply. His eyes had closed again, and Rob could see the relaxed look on his lover�s face. Agile fingers started stroking down the sides of Sabu�s erection, grasping it, applying just enough pressure to have him gasp and moan, causing fingers to twist in the sheets.
Rob watched as every movement of his hand brought forth a new response, from the hasty movement of eyes beneath eyelids to whispered nothings; too soft to be heard, yet flowing from Sabu�s lips uncontrollably. Occasionally Sabu would let out a strangled moan; Rob�s hand doing something to make him shudder. Rob leaned forward, all the while continuing the movement of his hand, to rest his cheek against the other man�s neck, feeling the vibrations as Sabu muttered things, felt the shudders. Rob could feel his own erection strain against his pants painfully, causing him to give in and carefully free himself, one hand fumbling but eventually succeeding.
He kicked his remaining clothes away, not really bothered with where they landed. It left him naked, shivering at the sudden chill. He positioned himself next to Sabu now, still continuing his ministrations, grinning as Sabu arched into the touch. It was strange to see him lie there, let Rob control the pace like this, but somewhere it was fitting. Rob wondered if this meant something more.
His hand stilled as Rob contemplated that, his lips close to Sabu�s ears as he watched dark, lust-filled eyes turn to him, questioning what he was doing.
�Please,� Rob whimpered, �Let me be enough this time.�
It was clear by the look on Sabu�s face that he understood that Rob was asking a whole lot more, a flicker of doubt and uncertainty in his eyes. Not that he was afraid, Rob figured, but because he knew what Rob meant with it, even though Rob himself wasn�t sure what exactly that was.
�You always were,� Sabu murmured, his hand running up Rob�s arm to tangle in his hair, pulling him down for a kiss.
Something akin to a purr left Rob, though he was soon chuckling on the inside at Sabu dominating the kiss, as if he were compensating for having given control away. He relaxed for a moment, enjoying the way fingers brushed through his hair, sighing into the warmth of Sabu�s mouth.
Another chaste kiss, then Rob pulled back, slipping off the bed and into the bathroom to find Sabu�s bag. Hurried hands rummaged through his belongings, digging to find the condoms and lube he hoped were there. He smiled in triumph as he found them, not even bothering to put everything else back in the bag. Cleaning could wait, right now there was only one thing he wanted, and it had nothing to do with messy bathrooms.
He paused in the doorway momentarily, the flutter of worry in his stomach abating when he saw that Sabu was still there; that he hadn�t taken the opening he�d been given and fled the scene. Rob stayed there for a second, his heart pounding, fingers self-consciously rubbing his thigh as he felt Sabu�s eyes take him in. A light blush stained his cheeks, and he couldn�t help but feel stupid about it. Sabu had always been the strangely modest one, the one who would bitch and moan at Rob when he was busy complimenting him, not Rob.
Rob pushed through the embarrassment, moved towards the bed, and was immediately distracted by the smirk Sabu was giving him.
�Asshole,� Rob breathed as he let Sabu push him aside - dropping the acquired items on the bed. It was cold and wet now, the sheets damp because Sabu�s soaked body had been pinned down on it, but not deterring in the least.
A familiar weight held him there, though Rob recognized that Sabu took a bit longer now that he only had one arm to lean on. Eventually, though, they were in a comfortable position, skin finally warm under Rob�s hands and bodies flush up against each other. Feeling Sabu drop his weight onto an elbow, they were even closer, and a pleased smile touched Rob�s lips as a wet tongue moved down his neck and a leg pushed his knees apart.
�I�m not sure I can make this work,� Sabu whispered, though Rob was so distracted he barely heard.
�We never worked, really,� Rob replied, hooking an arm around the other man�s neck, �But we managed. It�s okay.�
�That�s not what I meant.� A sigh. �I�m not sure I can fuck you like this.�
�What?� Rob frowned, not entirely sure what Sabu meant. They�d never had trouble with things like that before. Then it struck him, seeing how had Sabu positioned his right arm so it wasn�t in the way. He couldn�t do much with it, and Rob hadn�t realized how uncomfortable and annoying that could be. �Oh! Fuck, sorry. I didn�t� It�ll be fine, really. I�m all sorts of flexible, remember?�
Sabu looked at him, his face betraying that he felt rather limited like this � hopeless, perhaps, inadequate � and Rob saw the flash of pain as Sabu roughly forced his arm to move. While Rob knew what had happened, he didn�t yet know how to deal with it.
He wasn�t sure how used Sabu was to it, either, at least when it came to something like this. It felt wrong to ask him about it, and Rob certainly didn�t want to know. Even thinking about all the other men and women Sabu might have slept with caused him to hold on tighter, something Sabu seemed to notice.
�I�m sorry.�
Rob sighed, upset with himself for getting so off-track. It didn�t matter right now, anyway.
�Don�t apologize,� he whispered, raising himself to lean on his elbows as well. �Here, lie down on your side a bit.� He pushed gently, watching as Sabu repositioned himself to lean on his right shoulder, leaving his good arm free for use. It wasn�t the most comfortable position for either of them, but it would do.
Bending forward for a kiss, Rob tried calming his partner, at the same time relishing in the fact that there was now a hand brushing skin again. Sighing happily, Rob felt a tongue invade his mouth, the way Sabu had taken advantage of the opening given to him almost amusing. Like Rob wouldn�t have been okay with it otherwise.
He clawed for the condom and lube, taking three tries to finally find them. Murmuring in appreciation as Sabu�s attention returned to Rob�s neck, he handed the items to his partner, hands interlacing for a while until Rob pulled Sabu on top of him a bit. Sabu, surprised by this, almost dropped the things he was holding in his attempt to steady himself and not fall on top of Rob.
�I won�t break,� Rob breathed, eventually feeling Sabu relax on top of him. Rob turned his hips a bit, now also on his side, and he shuddered as he felt that lone hand slide down, exploring the swell of his ass.
�Careful, though,� Rob continued softly, �I haven�t done this in a while.�
Not since Sabu had left, he realized, thoughts distracted by fingers brushing his opening. Closing his eyes at the feel of it, he tried to slow his breathing as muscles were stretched, hissing at the slick feel of lubed fingers entering him. A while had been lying, he hadn�t done this in years, and Rob felt uncomfortable as his body resisted the intrusion. It didn�t hurt, but it certainly wasn�t pleasant, and he hoped Sabu would realize this.
He�d pictured this a thousand times, wondered how it would be, but it seemed his body was betraying him even now, fighting against something that Rob wanted so badly. Sharp pains, the feel of needles, and he buried his pace in the sheets so Sabu wouldn�t notice. He groaned, frustrated with it all.
�Careful,� Rob warned again, raising his head, a shudder racking his body as one finger became two, muscles burning. He hadn�t expected this to be so difficult, though the thorough attention Sabu paid him was pleasant in its own right. Still, it wasn�t what he�d had in mind.
�I always knew you were a pain in the ass,� Rob murmured, smiling at his own bad joke. A chortle of laughter, Sabu pressing his lips to Rob�s neck, was the initial reply.
�That�s my line,� Sabu commented dryly.
A hiss as Rob was stretched even more, Sabu�s elbow pushing open his legs for easier access. The younger man could feel his muscles relaxing, remembering how it used to be, finally allowing him to enjoy what they were doing. He could feel that Sabu�s touches were becoming more urgent, a nasty bite almost breaking skin.
�Turn over,� Sabu ordered, something in his voice telling Rob to do just that. Eventually he was on his side again, Sabu wrapping his arm around Rob�s torso, hot skin coming into contact. Rob could feel Sabu move behind him, hips against his back. He would have said something about the way the mood had changed, but instead said nothing, allowing Sabu to do as he pleased. He wasn�t going to complain and he certainly didn�t want him to stop.
Lips left wet trails on his shoulder and Rob sighed at the familiarity of it all. It had certainly been a while, but it was still fresh on his mind. He still knew how things worked between them, and with every touch he could feel his body recognizing what was going on.
�You ready?� Sabu asked as his hand rested on Rob�s hip, a quiver to his tone of voice.
�Hmm.�
Fingers applied more lube with ease, showing how used Sabu had gotten to only having one arm to use. Hurried, Sabu seemed, like there was something haunting him. Rob didn�t know why, he wasn�t going anywhere. He reached behind him and looked back, but the focused and intense look on his partner�s face caused him to turn back around. He�d just let it happen.
Finally finished, Sabu�s arm hooked around Rob�s leg, pulling it up so things would be easier. Already Rob knew it wouldn�t be comfortable, but then first times never were. This counted as a first time to him, as well as it should, and the thought sent a rush through him. It had been so long.
�Go on,� he urged quietly, feeling the lull in Sabu�s movements. It was all the older man needed, for Rob soon felt the familiar pressure at his entrance. Again his muscles resisted, and every movement burned, the sharp pain biting. He gritted his teeth, making small sounds to slow Sabu down. Both paused, pants harsh in the otherwise silent room. Light filtered through the curtains.
�Go on,� Rob murmured again, forehead resting on his arm as he bit his lip at the friction. The cold feel of more lube greeted him and he gave a sigh as finally his muscles started relaxing again and it all went a bit smoother. Behind him Sabu tried saying something, but all that came out was a low rumble. Rob didn�t even bother turning his head, instead focused on the humming of his muscles and that feeling of being stretched. Tingling sensations ran up his spine, the stinging pain turning into pleasant tremors. Still Sabu pressed forward until he could go no further, halted murmurs all he shared, and Rob could feel the hand on his stomach clench.
He sighed, heat spreading through his body, the delicious feeling of them together. Arching his back, he could hear the panting behind him, Sabu�s body tense as he kept himself under control. How ironic that the same man who had injured Rob so many times was now so worried about hurting him.
�Let go already,� Rob breathed, surprised his lover had even held on for so long. He wasn�t usually one to be patient, especially not with Rob.
An appreciative murmur reached his ears and Rob let out a soft moan as Sabu rolled his hips. The arm that still had a tight hold of his leg shuddered, but didn�t let go, its hand now moving across Rob�s stomach. Rob didn�t even realize, head tilted and eyes closed as he let the feelings wash over him. Tension, delicious tension, started building, and with every whisper of a moan he rocked back his hips, having realized how much he�d missed this. The loving touches were what he lived for.
He cried out as Sabu thrust deeper, tried to turn his head as he felt lips brush his shoulder. Sabu�s face buried against his neck, hot breath on his skin, pleasure setting his body on fire, it was all so much to take in that Rob could do nothing but close his eyes and let go, moans leaving him uncontrollably.
�That�s it.� A mere whisper, nothing more, but Rob shuddered anyway. Lifting his hips, he sought to meet the rhythm Sabu had set, but he was too disorientated, distracted, to really do much. Nails on his skin caught his attention, the hot, wet feel of a mouth on his neck as well, and he could do nothing except wonder why he�d taken so long to go find him. What a moron he�d been.
�I missed you,� he murmured in short and breathless pants, hoping Sabu would hear. He must have, because the arm tightened almost painfully, and the thrusts came faster, harder. Rob reached for his cock, needing to get to that intoxicating high yet not sure he wanted this to stop. A dilemma if he�d ever known one.
�Love me,� Rob begged, a sheen of sweat on his brow, eyes wide and pleading.
Sabu groaned, voice dark. �I...I can�t promise you that.�
�Then don�t, just love me.�
He writhed on the bed, sheets no longer cold, rocking back his hips, gasping at the rasping voice in his ear. Rob�s name, distorted, repeated again and again, accompanying every thrust. It sent chills up his spine, a heated edge to the voice he knew so well, caused muscles to twitch, limbs to shudder. A mixture of different sensations � physical, emotional � attacking from every angle, and that feeling of being loved.
�Fuck. It has always been you,� Sabu groaned, bringing back memories of filthy hallways, meeting for the first time, and that moment their eyes had met. They�d known all along.
Shudders wracked Rob�s body, whimpers leaving parted lips, and he wished he could look at Sabu right then, kiss him breathless. Instead he grabbed his hand and held on tight, to never let go.
�And I was always yours,� he managed to get out, the broken way Sabu whispered his name enough of a reply. Rob moaned, meeting every heated movement. Laboured breathing mixed with the rustle of sheets, the sound of skin hitting skin, Rob�s soft whimpers along with Sabu�s rumbling growls.
It seemed frantic, after that, and Rob recognized that his lover was close to the edge by the nails that dug into his skin, the muscles that bulged. He was right, because moments later his lover cried out in orgasm, probably not as he�d planned, the sound still familiar even after so many years. Rob could feel Sabu�s body shudder, then sag, noticed the way the arm let go. Harsh panting, a quiet �sorry� in his ear. Rob chuckled softly, the sound shaky. Their relationship had never been picture perfect, and Rob thought Sabu had managed to hold on pretty damn long already. There was nothing wrong with giving in; what a strange thing to apologize for.
Sabu moved slightly, once again comfortable against Rob�s back, and the younger man shuddered as a hand closed around his cock. Soothing murmurs reached him, drowned out Rob�s quivering breaths, while Sabu�s tongue trailed from his neck, wet across smooth skin, down to the shoulder. Muscles flexed, moved underneath, and with every expert stroke Rob drifted deeper and deeper into what he considered to be heaven. Nothing else could be this good.
He whimpered, let out a shocked mewl at a particularly creative move, and arched his back in pleasure. The hand caressed him, teased him, knew exactly what to do to work Rob into a frenzy. Shivers tormented him, hips not able to stay still, and once again rumbling murmurs tried to find their way into Rob�s thoughts. Rob felt like he was exploding, having missed this so much. He wanted to tell Sabu, tell him to never let go, demand he�d stay with Rob forever, but nothing seemed to work. All he could do was give in to the growing pleasure, the feeling of reaching that pinnacle he so desperately wanted, needed.
Eventually he too had to let go, nothing left but to cry out helplessly. He moaned at the tightening in his balls and could no longer hold on. Sabu held him as colours flashed before his eyes. There was nothing but pleasure after that.
Limbs entangled, with Rob sagging back to rest his head against Sabu�s neck, tired eyes staring at the window. Busy trying to catch his breath, he didn�t realise Sabu was still holding on, the breathing in his ear just as shaky. An arm was still possessively wrapped around him, something so foreign to the Sabu he�d once known. It took a while for Rob to notice, but he said nothing as he rolled on his back, Sabu�s arm now on his stomach. Eyes met.
�See? We work,� Rob said quietly, eyes not leaving his partner even as Sabu turned on his back as well and removed his arm. A pity, Rob noted.
The other man smiled thinly, eyes closed, looking so very tired. Rob relaxed, wondering if they could stay like this for much longer. It would do Sabu good. All the drama had made him lose track of time. He glanced at the nightstand, hoping to find some kind of alarm clock there, but it was empty. Glancing down he saw the thing on the floor, broken, pieces of glass imbedded in the ugly carpeting. Apparently their struggles had resulted in more than just hot sex.
�It�s five-thirty.�
�What? How do you know?� Rob asked, feeling his partner suddenly stir beside him and slowly get out of bed. �And why don�t you lie down for once? We have nowhere to go.�
�There is a clock above the bed.�
Rob looked up to see that Sabu was right; a small, cheap clock was happily ticking away on the hotel-room wall. He should have figured that, but his brain was still a bit rattled. Not that he minded.
Sabu looked at him. �And I can still make tomorrow�s show.�
�You�ll be so jetlagged you�ll botch every spot.�
A scowl, but Sabu stopped what he was doing anyway. He seemed to be considering things, then nodded slowly. There was a sadness to him as he rubbed his bad arm. Rob knew he must feel he�d missed another chance, possibly his only chance now he was so old and broken.
�They probably don�t even want me now.�
�They can�t have you.�
Rob fully meant it, though he smirked at the exasperated look on Sabu�s face. Wanting to say something, he was distracted by Sabu trying to dress. The older man had turned, and was currently flashing the world outside � if he stepped forward some more, anyway - something he probably didn�t realise. Rob wasn�t going to tell him. For some odd reason his lover had always been modest around him, or at least not willing to parade around naked. Rob wasn�t sure why, though he�d always made sure to tease Sabu about it when he could. He smiled as Sabu looked at him oddly, now fully dressed while Rob was still comfortably lying on the bed.
�The room looks like a tornado breezed past, you know,� Rob noted.
And it did, with clothes everywhere and a bag left empty because its items were strewn on the floor. Rob could hear Sabu chuckle, watched as he walked over. Rob pulled him down, and let his forehead rest against the man�s back while Sabu sighed.
�It usually does, Rob. You�re messy.�
�I�m a very neat person!�
�Not around me, you�re not.�
�Well, that�s your bad influence, then.�
�Bullshit.�
Rob chuckled, allowing Sabu this small victory. If he didn�t then they�d be arguing the point until Rob gave up, since he knew full well how infuriatingly stubborn Sabu could be.
�What were you mumbling about anyway?�
�What?�
�Earlier. You were muttering things.�
�Why do you give a fuck?�
�Hey, I�d like to know it if you�re praying for someone to come save you, you know.�
�It�s not important.�
�Just tell me.�
�No.�
�Sabu��
�Give it a rest, Rob.�
Rob sighed.�Fine.� A pause, but he couldn�t really drop it. �And what the fuck were you apologizing for, anyway? You never do that.�
�Well excuse me for wanting it to go on a bit longer.�
�I thought you did pretty well, actually. You are an old man, after all.�
Immediately Rob felt a hand connect with the back of his head, though not even remotely succeeding in stopping the laughter from spilling. Rob reached out again, arms around Sabu�s waist.
�Cheeky fucker.�
A pause, a smile, Sabu turning his head to look at him. There was a promise in his eyes, something that hadn�t been there before, and Rob felt really choked up all of a sudden. He held on, making sure Sabu didn�t see the watery gleam to his eyes, and breathed in the familiar scent. He�d forever follow. Thinking he could have left had been foolish, because he knew he�d never be the one to leave. He couldn�t, was forever caught in this game of theirs, had been since the very first time they�d met. It was a tiring game, and he doubted it had fully ended, but now he knew it was a game he would always win.
�Sabu?� Rob asked quietly, his cheek still resting comfortably against the other man�s back. Sabu made one last failed attempt at swatting Rob away, but he couldn�t quite reach.
�What?� came the grumpy response.
�Tell me what I am to you.�
Silence, then Sabu replied.
�You already know.�
Rob smiled, placing a kiss on the back of Sabu�s neck, eliciting another annoyed movement of his arm.
�I do,� Rob whispered, �but one of these days I�ll make you say it.�
THE END