asian2

PINOY GROUPS

These are just satirical exaggerated charicteristics prevalent in many filipino guys. They are a little insulting and may be harsh.... but someone had to sayy it! And remember, its just an attempt at comedy!

I have characterized the pinoy boy into these classifications:
a. da hardcore gansta boy
b. the GQ schoolboy
c. da baller
d. the fat guy
e. the whitewashed flip ingrate
f. the funny short guy with autism

REMEMBER I'M JUST JOKING HERE!!

~A. the hardcore gangsta boy

1. usually seen at: the pool hall, the arcade, or at Starbucks. Also can be seen at many clubs, parties and other baggy pant funtions. Oh yeah he is a frequent shopper at your local shopping mall. Also he can be seen at sunday Mass, giving dirty looks and checking out girls while he kisses the priests' asses. Also, inside his lowered Mugenpowered Acura Integra with a Keroppi doll in it.
2. usually wearing: The usual Tommy Hilfiger, Nautica and Nike stuff. NOTE: he wears everything in XXXL sizes. He wears a visor sideways because he is so cool that he can. Hair is either shaved or faded.
3. friendly?: NOPE, no matter the occasion, he has to keep a pokerface, dirty look. Even durring weddings and baptisms, for all the pictures he has to keep his gangsta pose (no smile, head tilted back) Only will be cool with you if you can set him up with one of your female friends.
4. Can you trust him?: not at all, like most filipino gangsters, he is a complete coward, he cannot take care of his own busines by himself. He will talk ish behind your back and betray you behind your back. Always thinks of ways to use you for something, be it money, sex, or cars.
5. heres more: Treats women like ish, has a different girl every week. Loves to stalk, beat, and push around and control his girlfriend. Only has a girlfriend to stop himself from jacking off. Will betray his own brother for his girlfriend. No matter where he is pool hall, arcade, club, circus, wedding, school, gay pride parade, he has to look "hard". He has to look tough, pokerfaced 24-7.

~B. the GQ schoolboy

1. usually seen at: clubs and dances....hardly goes to the gangsta parties. Also, at any PCN night, he goes there only with the intention to hook up though...forget the culture. Any school flip gathering. Driving in his 4 door Honda accord with a keroppi doll in it.
2. usually wearing: The usual Tommy Hilfiger, Nautica and Nike stuff. NOTE: he wears his clothing in the L to XL sizes. Classic GQ look, you know the khaki Dockers that you can buy from Macy's or from Old Navy. Usually will wear a plaid or silk shirt, tucked in and Doc Martins shoes. Hair is either shaved, faded and slicked back, or spiked in the front.
3. friendly?: Yes, but scheming. Always has a plan to get the girls. Only will be friendly to you if you have something to offer him. Example, being if you have fine female friends or someone he wants to be set up with, he will tag along with you and try to make himself known amongst the girls. Then when you don't know it he will take the girls out behind your back, pull out the sensitive act, and diss you behind your back.
4. can you trust him?: i guess so. He's a pretty descent guy. He will do stuff for you like help you with your homework and go out with you. But only on one condition, if the girls are there with you. He's not the type of guy like the gangsta who will say, "HooK mE uP, bEeYaTcH!"...he is more coniving and guile. He'll work his way into your social life and he'll take over and push you out of his way.
5. heres more: He has extremely good grades. Smart, probably plays a musical instrument to please his mother. Always says he knows how to get everyone into show business or those funny little fashion shows. Meaning he always lies that he knows some producer. and if you get him laid he'll get you a record deal. Lies that he knows Jocelyn Hernendez, is that her name?

~C. da baller

1. usually seen at: if not on the court, where he is 95% of the time, he is much like the gangsta, at the pool hall, or the arcade. Never at Startbucks because he does not know how coffee tastes like and he is too scared to try. Usually in his dad's or older brother's 1989 Nissan Sentra with a keroppi doll in it.
2. usually wearing: Nike. He has either the shirt or warm-up jacket on. Either baggy shorts or denim shorts for his pants. and he has ankle socks, so that makes his legs look like toothpix. Has his nike warm-ups with one leg up and one leg down. Hair either shaved or faded.
3. friendly?: Nah, the balla is just a junior gangsta who has less friends. Many ballers say they don't fight and that they don't get gangstad out. They say "wE bALL cUz' iT TaKeS AwAyZ fRuM dA GaNgS". But when the time comes to scrap, they'll be just as cowardly as the gangsta....of course they'll fight with the usual 25 to 1 brawl.
4. can you trust him?: i don't know, most people don't want to deal with him because he's a scrub or he doesn't look rich. He's not flashy or anything...kinda modest in appearance, so i guess he's trustable He's one of those classical filipino guys when he borrows something from you, you never see it again. Whatever you let him borrow, clothes, money, video games, car....you will never see it again or else it takes alot of effort to get it back from him. Just never mentions he borrowed something from you, he waits till you forget about it and then it is his.
5. heres more: first of all, he doesn't get much attention from anyone. Girls dont care about him because he has nothing to offer them. he doesn't have a job or a nice car, which means no money no popularity, no woman, all cry.

~D. the fat guy

1. usually seen at: at the student union of every college. he seems to always ditch his classes so he can hang out with everyone. also, he is usually a D.J., production, promotion, prostitution crew or whatever. He is also the guy cooking up the barbeque during club week, for that he is most valuable. Also seen either in his 1991 honda CRX or driving his mom's Toyota Previa, all with a keroppi doll in it!
2. usually wearing: the T-shirt of his Kaibigan, Barkada club of his school. for pants he will wear huge, cuz he's fat, denim baggies. This is a new trend i see amongst tabachoys, but they seem to all wear those eyeglasses that are thick and black and have yellow or light blue lenses. Is everyone wearing those now?
3. friendly?: i guess sometimes. he'll be loyal to you. but he will easily diss you for the "cooler" crowd. Since, not lot of girls go for him for obvious reasons, he must find his respect amongst guys. Always tries to be cool, but if you diss him, he will get supa GanGstA on ya... and get his homeboys to kill you. Why do all the flip guys get all tough only when they say "homeboys"...that is such a classic pinoy threat, it has to have the two words of "MY" and "HOMEBOYS" in it.
4. can you trust him?: nope, a schemer and a player like all of them. Well he is not aplayer for obvious reasons. But sometimes, he'll be there for you....only if it impresses some other girl. You know, you get into an argument and theres some fOiNe female witnes to the argument, well Tabachoy will usually try to amend things by saying "its coo...its coo...peace." Then all the attention goes to him and he becomes a saint.
5. heres more: he, quote, unquoke "knows everybody" He's supposed to be the all end all of the flip scene. You know the guy who everyone knows his name. He is "known" and so popular. he goes to every function, PCN, party, club, orgy....but all he ever does is greet poeple and work on his snap handshake. He doesn't get freaky,. he just kicks it at every function. You know braething hard, looking like Notorious BIG. and like most flip guys, he'll put on the sweet act, then when he feels threatened he becomes violent and threatens to sick his homeboys on you!!

~E. the whitewashed flip ingrate

1. usually seen at: the student union at every college playing *Magic: The Gathering* card games with his white friends. Sometimes at Huntington Beach with his blond white girlfriend, not blond flip thank God. In his Dodge Ram or Cevy Tahoe, with NO keroppi doll in it.
2. usually wearing: plaid shirt, tight jeans...a marvel superhero t-shirt or a some Led Zepplin t-shirt. Vans or Convers All- Stars. A hat that says either "metallica" or "Megadeth"
3. friendly?: To everyone who is not flip... believes that every flip guy falls under the category of the A) Gangsta guy... that all flips are Honda driving, gang-banging, baggy pant wearing wannabe ni99aZz....hmmmm. But really is much like his female counterpart the anti flip whitewashed girl.... never really had a grasp on their culture. Be it ignorance, taste, or arrogance....he's not very fair to his own race.
4. can you trust him?: i guess....if you ever get a chance to talk to him.
5. heres more: is more private about his relationship. compared to the whitewashed flip gurl, who shows off her white boyfriend. thisguy is more laid back about showing off his white girlfriend. In fact, i don't think he gives a damn what other flips are thinking about him. here's the difference between asian guys and asian girls and why we're both screwed up in realtionships...girls will show off and compete with other girls on who has the best boyfriend....and guys will show off and compete with other guys on who has the skankiest, "ho"iest and "leached" girlfriend. Girls want populatity and jealousy and guys want control and pleasure.....doesn't anyone hold hands at the beach anymore?!

~F. the funny short, autistic guy

1. usually seen at: kicking back at~ a school with his homies. ditching his classes. Playing pool on a step stool. At the coffee place, on a high chair, talking ish about people when they're far from his crew.
2. usually wearing: much like everyone else, i'm too tired to describe it. You all know!
3. friendly?: You never know what thsi guy is thinking
4. can you trust him?: i said you never know what this guy is thinking. you don't even know if he is of sound mind. Is he stable or is he just a retard?

Rejected categories: (they just missed the list)
1. the beanpole baller
2. the bald headed cholo wanabe
3. the clubber
4. the flip club organizer
5. the guy that doesn't admit he likes alternative music
6. the racer guy (thats everyone)
7. the babyface singer wannabe and his wannabe singing crew