AD23

Chapter 23: Shape Of My Heart

�So how was TRL?�

I ignored the question directed towards me and kept walking to my dressing room. All I wanted to do was get this day over with, go back to the hotel and take a nice, long, hot bath.

�What? are you not going to talk to me now either? Nobody else will, why did I think you would be any different?�

I turned around and gazed into the saddest pair of blue eyes I had ever seen. My heart ached to see him so upset.

�Nicky, you�re my best friend. Please believe me when I say that shutting you out is the last thing I want to do.� I turned around and started walking again.

�Then why are you?� The pain in his voice stopping me from taking another step. �Princess, talk to me. Please?�

�Nick, please don�t make this harder for me. You may be my best friend, but Kayla is my sister. I owe her this much. At least until things are fixed.�

Without waiting for a response, I turned on my heel and ran down the corridor. Once I got to my dressing room, I threw myself inside, slammed the door and slumped to the floor, putting my head in my hands.

�My, my. If it isn�t the Ice Princess herself.�

Fuck, I cursed silently as I looked up to find AJ standing in front of me, arms crossed over his chest.

�AJ, what are you doing here?�

But before he could answer, my cell phone that was laying on the counter, started to ring.

AJ looked at the ringing phone and then back over to me.

�You don�t mind if I answer that, do you?� he asked, reaching over and picking up my cell. �Hello?� he said as he clicked it on. His eyes narrowed as the person on the other end responded. �Who is this? Oh, hi Danny,� AJ said, his eyes focusing on me, still on the floor. �I�m sorry, Eve is a little preoccupied at the moment. I�ll be sure to let her know you called. Buh-bye.� He clicked the phone off, setting it back on the counter. He glanced back over to me, smiling crookedly.

�Danny huh? Should I add him to your list as well?�

I closed my eyes and counted to ten, trying to regain some control.

�AJ, what are you doing here?� I repeated.

�I was getting my jacket,� he said, picking up the leather jacket I had borrowed from him last week. �And it appears I�m catching you with yet another guy.�
I just shook my head. This was getting ridiculous.

�AJ, now you�re just pulling things out of you ass,� I said, letting my anger show. �Danny is just a friend. Friends call each other.�

�With you, friends do a lot more then just call,� he sneered.

�Why can�t you see that it was a mistake? I thought we trusted each other?�

�So did I,� he replied, his voice softer. �I guess that was my mistake. I seem to be making a lot of those. Like falling in love with you.�

My breath caught in my throat at his words. He couldn�t mean that. Could he?
�AJ, I want you to leave,� I said, standing up.

�Why? So you can call Danny back?� he shot.

�No, because I�ve cried enough lately and I just can�t do it anymore. Listening to you tear me apart isn�t exactly helping. I hope you feel better about yourself because I feel like shit.�

He just stood there for a second, then gathered his things and left.

She should feel bad. She�s the one who messed up, AJ thought as he walked down the hall. But if all this is her fault, then why do I feel like the screw up?

Once AJ had left the dressing room, I slammed the door shut. I went over to my counter and picked up the framed picture of us that I carried around with me. I gazed at it longingly, running my fingers over the smooth class. We looked so happy together, so in love. It didn�t seem like any of this was possible. How could things go so wrong?

I gazed at the picture a little longer before letting out a sigh.

So much for love, I thought and I threw the picture across the room, watching it smash into a hundred pieces as it hit the wall.

*********************

�Hey AJ.�

AJ stopped walking and looked up in search of the voice that called out to him. He spotted Kassandra walking towards him.

�Hey Kass. How�s it going?�

�I think things have been better. A more important question is how are you doing?� she asked, concern in her voice.

�I have the right to be upset, don�t I?� he asked.

�Of course you do. I would be if I were you,� she responded. He had every right to be upset. His girlfriend and two of his brothers stabbed him in the back.

�Then why do I feel like the bad guy? I just talked to Eve and she turns it all around on me.�

�Well what did you say to her?� Kass asked.

AJ looked at the ground guiltily.

�I accused her of being with Danny too.�

�Danny? You mean, when they opened for you?�

�I don�t know. He called her cell just now when I was talking to her and I answered it. I just got so mad. It�s like here was one more guy that had more of my girlfriends attention than I did. Oh, excuse me, ex-girlfriend,� he corrected himself.

Kass thought for a moment. She probably would�ve been jealous if one of Howie�s ex-girlfriends was calling him. She figured AJ was justified.

�Was that all?� she asked.

�Um, not quite,� AJ replied, the guilty feeling returning to the pit of his stomach.

�What else did you say?�

�I, um, told her I made a mistake falling in love with her,� he mumbled.

�Wow, AJ. Um, breaking up with her was one thing, but that? Wow,� Kass looked at him shocked.

�Too harsh?� he asked, wishing that guilty feeling would go away.

�That is pretty bad. I mean I know it�s going to take a long time to forgive her, but-�

�If I forgive her,� AJ cut in. �And right now Kassandra, that�s a pretty big if.�

******One Week Later******

The last couple of shows of the tour went off without a hitch. Granted they weren�t the most stellar performances we had done, but they were far from bad. Right now we were all just glad to be done and getting a break from each other. The whole week had flown by with absolutely nothing changing.

Right now we were all in the guys suite at the hotel getting ready to leave for the airport. The girls and I were getting a flight back to New York while the boys would be flying back to Florida.

As it stood Brian would drive Juliet and I to the airport because Juliet was the only one who could tolerate me. Nick had offered, but that would only have caused more problems.

I looked around at all the anxious faces. We all just wanted to leave. As I scanned the group my eyes locked with Nick�s. He looked like a lost little boy. I had ignored him the whole week and I couldn�t do it any more. There was no way I was going to leave without saying goodbye to my best friend. I walked over to him and looked down at my feet. I couldn�t look into those sad blue eyes.

�I guess this is it,� I said.

�Yeah, I guess so.�

I looked at him, tears forming in his eyes.

�We�ll be in Orlando in about two weeks. Jive stuff. I�ll call,� I said, forcing back my own tears.

Nick just nodded his head.

�You know what? Fuck this,� I said, getting frustrated. �Nick, you�re my best friend and I should not have ignored you. I�ll fix things. Promise. Now come here,� I reached up and threw my arms around his neck.

Nick hesitated, then, slowly, put his arms around my waist, hugging me back.
�I�ll miss you Princess,� he said.

�Why don�t you just kiss him goodbye while you�re at it?�

I turned around to find AJ glaring at us.

�You know what AJ? I am not going to let you or anyone else for that matter scare me out of saying goodbye to my best friend. If you can�t handle the fact that Nick and I are close, then too bad. It�s not like you love me or anything,� I spat. I turned back around to face Nick. �Goodbye Nicky.�

�Bye Princess.�

�Jules, I�ll be outside,� I grabbed my bags and stormed out of the room.

********************

�Brian, shh, she�s right there.�

�I still don�t see why we have to drive her,� Brian grumbled.

�Because she�s like my sister,� Juliet stated.

�Yeah, well Kevin is my cousin and AJ and Nick are like my brothers. She hurt them all. I can�t overlook that.�

�Brian, all I�m looking for is a ride to the airport, not your acceptance,� I said, having overheard them as I leaned against the car.

�Good, because you won�t get it,� he said as we all got in the car and headed to the airport.

For a while we drove in a tense silence. Then Brian spoke up.

�So how do you feel, Eve� he started, �having messed up three men�s lives?�

�Brian, I don�t want to get into this with you now. I just want to get to the airport,� I sighed.

�No really, I want to know. Do you feel good about yourself? Is this like an accomplishment?� he asked, turning around to glare at me.

�As a matter of fact Brian, it is. It�s a huge accomplishment. Pity I couldn�t get to you as well,� I said, my temper rising.

�Guys, please,� Juliet begged. �Eve, take a deep breath. Brian watch the road.�

Brian just ignored Juliet and kept going.

�You probably would have tried too.�

�Yes. Is that what you want to hear Brian? That I�m a whore who will try to get with any guy she sees?�

�It certainly wouldn�t surprise me any,� Brian replied, glaring at me.

�You guys, stop this,� Juliet screamed. �Eve, please, calm down. Brian would you watch- OH MY GOD! BRIAN! WATCH OUT!�

Brian whipped his head around, but it was too late. There was an angry crash of metal crushing metal. Then everything went black.