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Celebrities (a.k.a. no talent ass clowns) |
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So it's my first weekend in California, and we go up to Venice Beach to check it out. While walking around, my sister had mentioned she saw some place with slices of pizza for a dollar, so we went to get a slice. As I walk in, I notice none other than American Idol favorite Carrie Underwood standing right in front of me waiting to order. My sister was fumbling in her purse for money, and I whisper for my sister to look. She says she knows, but I had no idea how she would've known since Katy had her back to her. So I press on and tell Katy to look, and she was like "oh, wow." That confused me since she said she already knew, so then Katy tells me to look behind me, and Kate Beckinsale is standing right behind me. So weird that they were both in there at the same time! Carrie was on a date, Kate was with her kid I'm guessing, and it was just them and us, and maybe one other person. Two celebrity chicks, and I was sandwiched right between them...doesn't get much better than that! |
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Tobey McGuire - During a lunch break my senior year at NYU, was walking to a Chinese joint when my friend Alan and I saw a bunch of people all looking towards a pizza joint, where they were shooting Spiderman 2. After getting the brush off from several movie helpers, we finally got pretty close and walked by the front of the pizza joint, when right then, Tobey came out with a pizza going on his lunch break. The guy brushes by right in front of me, and a split second later, I get pushed by one of Tobey's goon following bodyguards. I'd understand if I was trying to like grope the guy, but all I was doing was standing around...oversensitive celebrity protecting schmucks... |
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Viggo Mortensen - Ah yes, Aragorn himself. Walking home from the NYU gym, I passed by the Virgin store a couple blocks from my dorm, and I see a bunch of women in line for something. So I look in, and of course, it's this bad ass. I would've gone and met him, but that's just gay now, isn't it? Or is it not because it's Aragorn? Whatever. I'm hotter. |
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Conan O'Brien - This one's a little obvious, since I went and saw tapings of his show like 3 or 4 times throughout my time at NYU, but I will say this, that studio and the set they use is so much smaller than you would think when you see it on TV! That seems to be the case for every show, because I remember thinking the same when I saw a taping of Change of Heart, and a taping of the newer Cosby show. Guests I saw at Conan? George Foreman, John Meyer, John Cusack, Jamie Kennedy...I forget some of the others. |
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Luke Wilson - A fine spring day during my senior year. Sitting in Washington Square Park at the fountain with a couple friends, then this hot girl sits down a few feet from us. We don't think anything of it until we see Luke Wilson roll in and sit next to her and give this girl a hug and kiss. Chris, this ballsy NY kid, yells over to Luke, saying "Old School! what's up man..." Luke looks over our way, nods his head and says what's up back, and then takes his girl and leaves... |
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Magic Johnson - So another lunch break, walking by the famous West 4th basketball courts, and there's an abnormally large amount of people watching basketball. On closer inspection, I see there's cameras and all that. I thought they were shooting a commercial, since I had seen the Tracy McGrady Mountain Dew commercial had been shot in the same place a couple weeks ago. After hearing some of the other people talking, I realize they were shooting some MTV special called "who got game." Then out comes Magic Johnson to announce the whole thing. Instead of going to class, I skipped to see them shoot the entire show, which ended up being this weird round robin 21 tournament, where this greaseball white guy somehow cheap fouled his way in beating two black guys...I never did get to see the actual show on TV to see if I could see myself in the background. |
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Dave Chappelle - Hells yeah, Dave's the man. I was walking home from class, then I see this black guy running right towards me. He gets closer and closer, and it's Dave fucking Chappelle! Haha, what was this guy doing running right at me? So we get closer and closer, and the guy runs right past me, and jumps headfirst into the door of a moving limo. He gets in, shuts the door, sticks his head and body out of the window, and was doing a Titanic-like glide like he was on top of the world. The limo pulls to a stop, and a bunch of black guys and a guy holding a camera run up to him and they're all laughing their asses off and clapping. So obviously they were shooting something, I have no idea what, but just tonight, I read in the TV listings that there's some movie with Chappelle in it that had to do with a limo driver, so I have to watch it to see if that footage was actually in a movie! Speaking of black comedians, me and James went to see Tracy Morgan at a comedy club one time...about the most dissapointing performance ever. All the guy did was use the microphone to simulate a massive cock, and just kept talking about slapping it on girl's faces, and was talking about doing dirty things to this one girl in the audience, who was with her parents no less! |
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Star Jones - I wish there was a way to make her picture smaller. They say the camera adds 10 pounds, but in her case, it probably takes it off of her. One year, flying back to New York after Thanksgiving, I got stuck in Cleveland for 5 hours because my flight got cancelled for snow. So I'm just sitting there waiting for my flight, when Star Jones sits down a few feet away from me with this poor personal assistant of hers catering to her every whim. Haha, not surprisingly, the assistant was making sure with the airline people that Star would be taken care of for food on the flight...come on Star, food's for living, not for loving! |
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