Das ÜberBra
Eva Braun sits on a swing in front of a backdrop of forested mountains, smiling, her head tilted to the left, posing for a picture. She is the model for a new product: Das ÜberBra. It is an invention of her own, which she is sure will be a favorite item among women, even in the midst of the war. She is dressed in a flowing, knee-length skirt and a bra, the SuperBra, which is made of satin covered in pink marabou feathers. As she sits and poses, sometimes doing acrobatic moves on the swing for the newsreel film, smiling this way and then that, "a little to the left, a little more innocent, a little more blond!" she thinks of how beautiful the makeup and wardrobe artists made her. Her hair has never shone so brightly, nor have her teeth, nor has her cleavage, all of which have been brushed with shimmering silver dust. The sun is bright overhead, which adds to the radiance of her image. The photographer and cameraman both stop, saying they need food and rest before they can continue. Although Eva has been posing for well over three hours straight, she is a little disappointed. She was enjoying the moment of complete attention from everyone around, including, for once, her boyfriend Adolf. She noticed how he looked at her from the side of the backdrop frame, smiling proudly, approving of her, for once. He usually makes some remark about her body; he does not like her slim, athletic figure, the very thing of which she is most proud. He thinks women should be much more plump and round than she is. He tells her this from time to time, and she tries not to let it bother her. Now he comes over to her and speaks sweetly, saying, "You look so pretty, my little bird." Eva blushes and feels that she is really the only woman in Adolf’s mind, deep down, and that he loves her and her alone. Bird is his pet name for her. That was how she decided on the slogan for Das ÜberBra: "The more birdlike the woman, the greater the man!" Adolf said it to his friends all the time, and Eva thought it terribly clever to use the phrase to advertise the ÜberBra because it is covered in feathers. It is a little secret joke between the two of them. Someone once tried to tell her that the phrase was an insult to her intelligence; that by "birdlike" Adolf had meant feeble-minded or stupid. She got very angry and confronted him, but he reassured her that by "birdlike" he had only meant "pretty like a little bird," and that by being so pretty a specimen she complemented his greatness. This made her feel special. She also feels that she is special because she lives with Adolf in the Eagle’s Nest, where a fellow called Friedrich (whom Eva assumes must be a friend of Adolf’s) said it was only right for an übermensch like Adolf to life. An übermensch. Eva loves the idea that she is the girlfriend of an übermensch. And that he will someday, maybe even as soon as the war is over, marry her, and they will be "Herr und Frau Übermensch." Well, the marriage part is something she is still working on, but she is sure it will happen eventually. She doesn’t like the fact that Adolf is still seeing other women, even after she has been exclusive with him for more than eleven years. It makes her very jealous sometimes, but she reminds herself that he needs other women because he is such a great man and she alone with her thinness couldn’t possibly satisfy his desire for plump women. Her whole body grows suddenly hot as she thinks of Adolf with his other women and their plump, voluptuous bodies. Her brow furrows, the silver shine on her skin accentuating the wrinkles on her forehead, and she grips the ropes of the swing until her hands burn. She realizes this, and not wanting to look upset in front of her boyfriend, she comforts herself with the knowledge that she has the most claim to him. Now she only worries that Adolf has noticed her sudden hot flash, but then she remembers that she doesn’t have to worry about him noticing much of anything these days. He is too busy thinking about winning the war and sleeping with other women to notice her. She looks at him, smiling through her anger, and gets down from the swing.
"Do you really mean it?" Eva asks, arching her back to her breasts stick out, hoping that her stomach will also look fatter by doing this.
"Yes, you look just like a pretty little bird with all those feathers, liebschen. I think the feathers are a good look for you."
Eva is relieved. She still feels it necessary to explain her frown of jealousy, though, so she says,
"My, the sun is bright today. I just looked a bit too close to it and it made me squint. It’s very warm out, don’t you think?"
"It is a little warm for spring. This uniform is hotter than what you’re wearing though, believe me. And these boots! Sometimes I wish I could run around in short pants again. But then everyone would see how fat my thighs have gotten. This girdle really makes me sweat, too."
"You’re not fat, Adolf. Anyway, I think your weight makes you look…robust, and…manly. And very German." Eva doesn’t like the fact that Adolf was gaining so much weight any more than he did, but she doesn’t want to make him feel bad about it. He has become so self-conscious about his weight that he refuses to make love to her with the lights on. He says he doesn’t want her to see his horrible gut and dimpled backside. Even though she knows better, Eva can’t help but think he makes love to his fat women with the lights on, and only turns the lights out with her because he doesn’t like to look at her.
"You’re just lying to make me stop worrying about it. Although I do agree that a real German shouldn’t be all skin and bones," he added, his eyes scanning her body, and Eva felt that he might as well have added, "like you" to the end of the sentence. She felt the burning inside her veins again. Control, control, she told herself.
"Why don’t we eat lunch now?" Eva said, immediately regretting that she’d changed the subject from body weight to its cause: food. She hoped he wouldn’t notice the connection.