Kwasi was resting against one of the wheels of the giant cannon they had spent so long lugging up the hill, lightly dozing, using her quiver as a pillow. Nearby, daasmonkeygirl and Xavier were playing a sophisticated version of Naughts and Crosses that had been invented in the early 2020's, scratching the grid into the earth beneath them with a stick.
Suddenly all three sat bolt upright. They felt the same feeling that all the Fictioners were feeling. Something was wrong.
Leaping to her feet, DMG stared out into the darkness, as though searching for an answer.
"What is it?" Xavier asked nervously. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know." Kwasi went over and stood next to DMG. If it was light they would've been able to see for miles, but at the moment they couldn't see a thing.
"I hope Quie gets her act together," DMG said finally. "Then we can get this battle over and done with." The other two nodded.
"I wonder why Quie hasn't let us know what's wrong," Xavier said, tapping her forehead. As soon as she'd said it, she wished she could take it back. They all looked at each other. Why hadn't Quie let them know what was wrong, using her impath powers? They were only two possible answers - that either she didn't know, or she couldn't. As much as they hated to admit it, the latter was probably the most likely.
"I hope she's alright," Kwasi said quietly.
They could only wait to see.

Rove played around absently with the arrows in his quiver, his attention focused on Wil and Nigel. He couldn't understand why they were acting so strangely around each other. It was obvious to him that each loved the other, but they refused to even go near each other. If it hadn't been so serious, he would've found it funny.
Finally he couldn't stand it anymore.
"You can cut the tension in this clearing with a butter knife!" he declared. Nigel blushed and glanced at him guiltily. She had hoped he wouldn't notice. Rove caught her expression.
"C'mon - give me some credit! I'm not blind you know!"
"We apoligise Rove," Wil said quietly, his gaze fixated on Nigel. "It's just a little�unresolved matter."
"Well then resolve it!" Rove cried. He couldn't see what the problem was.
Nigel fidgeted.
"It's not that easy�" she began.
"Well make it that easy!" Rove declared. "I mean, we're about to go into battle! We could get killed. Do you want to risk never fixing whatever the problem is?"
A tear trickled down Nigel's face, and she turned quickly to hide it. But not quickly enough for Wil not to notice it.
"We do need to talk Jessie," he said quietly, using her original name - the one she used to use before she found the Fic board.
"I know," she whispered. Wil looked pointedly at Rove.
"Oh right!" Rove cried loudly, catching his meaning. "I have to�um�go over�here," he said, scrambling to his feet and dashing into the bushes.
Nigel couldn't help but smile.
"Subtle, isn't he?"
Wil chuckled. "He's not the brightest guy around, but he's all heart."
"This coming from you!" Nigel retorted with a grin, her voice amused. Wil laughed and blushed. Slowly he grew serious. The smile fell from Nigel's face too. She avoided his gaze as he took a step towards her. Wil was the first to break the silence.
"This is killing me," his voice barely above a whisper.
"Tell me about it," Nigel muttered, her tone betraying her feelings more than her words. She looked up into his face, her heart melting as his gaze met hers. Finally she couldn't stand it, and took the final step that closed the distance between them. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and buried her face in his chest. Wil hugged her to him, resting his face in her hair, breathing her scent.
"This is so unfair," Nigel whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks, wetting Wil's tunic. "I love you so much."
"I know," was all Wil could say as he hugged her tighter. "I know."
Nigel pulled her head back so she could look at him.
"Then why can't�" she broke off suddenly, her expression growing vacant. Wil frowned slightly.
"What is it love?" he asked, worried. "What's wrong?"
"I�I don't know�" she replied, rubbing her temple. "I've just got this feeling�something's�not right."
"What do you mean?"
"I�" Nigel looked around suddenly, as though unsure of where she was. "Can't you feel it?" She pulled out of Wil's embrace.
"No, I don't feel anything out of the ordinary," Wil replied, mystified by her weird behaviour.
"Where's Rove?" Nigel asked suddenly. Wil looked around.
"He went off to give us some space, remember? RO-" Nigel slapped her hand over his mouth, cutting him off.
"Are you insane?" she hissed. "We're barely half a kilometre from a hundred thousand soldiers - all of whom want us dead!"
"Oh yeah," Wil blushed gingerly as she removed her hand.
"C'mon - we have to find Rove," she said, worried again.

Quie glared at the bushes where Kateous had just disappeared, trying to keep her temper under control. Just when she thought she had it, Spoofy exploded behind her.
"How dare she?! How fucking dare she?" she yelled, throwing her hands into the air for effect. "She MURDERED one of our own - our LEADER - and then expects us to do her dirty work!"
Unfru was silent, keeping her rage hidden.
Quie sighed wearily, suddenly exhausted. She was so very tired�no! She mustn't sleep! She shuddered. Anything but that.
"We'll deal with her eventually Spoofy," she said trying to be patient, and returning her attention to her surroundings. "Her death will be avenged. We just have to deal with the army at our doorstep first."
Spoofy scowled, not liking the idea of letting Kateous live - even for a short period of time. But defeating the channel 7 army was slightly more important.
"Fine," she said finally, albeit grudgingly.
Quie turned to unfru. She knew that just because unfru was quiet was absolutely no reason to think that she was weak. Lots of people had made the mistake of underestimating unfru - few had lived to tell about it.
"What about you? Will you try to forget about revenge for just�" she stopped. They all felt it at once. Exchanging a worried glance, Quie quickly sat down and closed her eyes, opening her mind. Spoofy and unfru watched silently.
Suddenly Quie cried out, clutching her shoulder and slumping forward. Spoofy and unfru were by her side in a split second, supporting her.
"Sparky's�hurt," Quie managed to get out. "She's in trouble." She opened her eyes, and instantly all the pain she had felt through Sparky vanished. She scrambled to her feet.
"We have to go help her!" she cried.
"Uh�why don't you let all the other Fictioners know first?" Unfru suggested quietly. "Some of them might be closer than us."
Quie stared at her for a moment then blushed.
"Good idea," she mumbled, flopping down onto the ground again. She closed her eyes.

"So that was Quiescence," Kirri said. It was more of a statement then a question. Kateous nodded.
"Yep. The one on the left was SpoofyGoddess and the one on the right was Unfrufru."
"They didn't look pleased to see you," Kirri said with a grin.
"They were a bit hostile weren't they?" Kateous' face grew sad. "Obviously they didn't miss me as much as I missed them." The glint in her eye betrayed her true feelings.
Kirri laughed. "Why don't I believe you?"
"Probably because I lack credibility," Kateous admitted.
"Probably," Kirri agreed with a grin.
Beside them, Butch grunted. He wasn't very bright - far from it - but he was very large, and very strong. He didn't get very many of the jokes that passed between the two, but it didn't bother him much - as long as he could beat up stuff. He was good at beating up stuff. And Kateous had promised that there would be lots of thumping soon, so he was happy.
"Man, what I wouldn't give for a 4 wheel drive right about now," Kateous grumped as they trudged through the dense scrub that surrounded their hide out.
"4 wheel drive?" Kirri repeated, confused.
"It's a type of car," Kateous offered by way of explanation. "Sorry, I keep forgetting you're a lot younger than me."
Finally they were through the scrub. In front of them was a huge cliff face, smooth as glass. Kateous studied the pattern closely, looking for the latch that would open the hidden door. After much cursing and swearing, she found it and pushed the button. A slat of the rock, about 2 metres square, slid silently to the side. With a triumphant smile Kateous walked through, the 'door' sliding shut behind them. They walked about a dozen metres in the dark before they came across an absolutely enormous bolder which blocked the tunnel totally.
"Butch, would you please?" Kateous asked politely, indicating the giant rock. Butch grunted and stepped forward.
It took all of his combined muscle to move the rock, but after a great deal of huffing, grunting and growling, the rock rolled forward into the cavern on the other side. Butch let loose a roar of triumph, beating his chest in adrenaline.
"Well done," Kateous complimented him as she and Kirri pushed past him into their secret lair, leaving him to push the bolder back again.

Not suprisingly, the cell that Michetti and SR stepped into was pitch black. Michetti raised the torch flame she was carrying above her head, lighting up the room.
"About time!" an angry voice growled. Ted Robinson stood up from the corner in which he had been sitting, and stomped over to where the two stable hands were cowering.
"Do you have any idea how long we've been sitting in here? Cos I certainly don't!" he yelled. Julie put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.
"Settle down Ted," she said calmly. "They're fighting a war - they're a bit busy. We can't expect them to deal with us straight away. Besides, it's only been about 2 days."
Ted turned around to glare at her.
"Don't give me that!" he raved. "You were yelling your head off at me not twenty minutes ago!" Julie met his gaze squarely.
"That was then," she replied coolly. "This is now."
"Whatever," an exasperated sigh in the corner drew everyone's attention to the Dawson's creek chick in the corner.
"Now that like, people are here, can we like, get out of this icky hole? I like, can't even see my nails - how am I like, supposed to know if they need like, a manicure or something?"
"That does it!" Jessie Spencer leapt to his feet, ran over to her and proceeded to strangle her. "How do you 'like' this?!"
Everyone watched curiously for a minute, before Bert Newton moved reluctantly to stop him.
"Don't kill her now," he said, pulling the enraged Jessie of her. "We can use her as bait or something later."
"What is like, your problem?" the Dawson's chick demanded (let's call her Joey, cos I can't remember what her real name is).
Ted had to help Bert stop Jessie from attacking her again.
"Are we allowed to leave?" one of the writers asked. Michetti glanced at SR.
"Um�" she hestitated.
"We've been informed of your new positions in this army," SR interrupted. Michetti frowned, not following what she was saying.
SR pulled a blank sheet of paper from her pocket, and pretended to read it.
"The Dawson's creek chick has been sentenced to laundry duties. Bert Newton, Brooke Satchwell and Jessie Spencer have been assigned as kitchen apprentices, Sandra Sully is of now a seamstress. The writers are part time centurions, and crop growers. The producers are also part time soldiers, but mainly servants to the Fictioners. And you," she finished, pointing at Glen Robbins, "are a look out."
Everyone looked at each other.
"Move it or lose it people!" SR barked. Quickly, they broke and ran to their designated tasks.
"Um�what about us?" Julie asked, glancing at Ted. They were the only two who hadn't been given jobs to do.
SR looked at Michetti. She hadn't wanted to treat them like the other prisoners, but now she didn't know what to do them.
"We hold you with higher respect than the other prisoners," Michetti explained. "So we didn't give you jobs."
"Why?" asked Ted, bewildered. "What makes us so special?"
"Your time on Good News Week," SR said simply.
"Oh."
"If we're not going to be doing tasks like everyone else, what are we going to be doing?" Julie asked.
The two stable hands looked at each other.
"We're not really sure," Michetti said honestly. "We thought you could be soldiers if you wanted."
Julie frowned.
"That sounds tough," she said warily.
"What do you guys do? Are you Fictioners?" Ted asked.
"Uh�not exactly," SR replied, went a bit red, and suddenly found her shoes very interesting.
"What do you mean not exactly?" he demanded.
"We're kind of stable hands," Michetti confessed.
"Oh," said Julie quietly.
"You're WHAT?" Ted screamed. "I'm being bossed around by HORSE SLAVES?!"
Michetti and SR looked hurt. Julie glared at Ted.
"Yes you are," she said firmly. "Because they're a lot higher in the social ladder at the moment than you are!"
"But they're SERVANTS!" Ted protested.
"And you're a prisoner," Julie reminded him. "In other words, a slave. Therefore you must obey all those above you."
Ted opened his mouth to protest, but Julie cut him off.
"Just be thankful they haven't made you a seamstress!" she snapped. Ted scowled at her, before turning around to sulk. Julie turned back to the two girls.
"We'll hang around you two if that's ok," she informed them, a pleasant smile on her face. Michetti and SR grinned back.
"Sure," they chorused.

Quie's signal - a big WE'RE READY! flashing through everyone's minds at exactly the same time - goaded everyone into synchronized action.
While the entire Fictioner army attacked the main camp (except Jo, Verona and wallflower who're still stuck in a mine field), Funk You and By Paul raced to help Sparky. Even with By Paul's injured hand, they made short work of the soldiers surrounding the base of the tree Sparky was trapped in.
"C'mon Sparky!" By Paul called up. "You're missing the battle!"
With much grunting and swearing, Sparky clambered down the tree, being very mindful of her shoulder. When she finally reached the bottom she nearly collapsed with relief. By Paul and Funk You caught her before she hit the ground, and carried her over to a soft clump of moss.
Funk You carefully peeled back the collar of her shirt and inspected the wound.
"It's not as bad as it could be," she said. "But it could be better." She turned to face By Paul, who was sitting beside her. "Have you got that ointment?"
By Paul nodded and handed over the tube, trying to ignore the way her skin tingled as her fingers brushed against Funk You's.
Funk You didn't appear to notice, and quickly rubbed the ointment into Sparky's shoulder ignoring her grunts of pain. She finished quickly and helped pull Sparky to her feet. By Paul grinned at them both.
"Are you ready for a battle?"
"Hell yeah!" they chorused, and with a delighted yell the three of them raced to join the other Fictioners on the battle field.

The battle was brutal but short. The Channel 7 army had been taken completely unawares, and had offered a feeble resistance at best. Quite a few had surrendered, confessing that they'd never believed in the cause they had been fighting for anyway - and weren't even sure what the cause had been.
The huge war cannon that Kwasi, DMG and Xavier had lugged up the hill had made short work of the army's weapons supplies - as well as the soldiers that guarded them. The rest of the soldiers were completely disoriented in the dark, and by being attacked from all sides at once. In short, numbers ended up meaning nothing. The Fictioners emerged victorious with no casualties whatsoever - not even Rove, who had been wandering around like a lost puppy trying to find where he had put his quiver.

"Nice little fight," Spoofy said with a grin to Quie as she cleaned one of her daggers on a dead body. Quie nodded happily as she watched a group of prisoners being led away.
"Yep."
"What do we do now?" Unfru asked in her quiet voice, appearing by her side. Quie turned to look her.
"We go rescue our boys. That's what we came for isn't it?"
"Well, I think you'd better give everyone a good rest before you send them off into another siege, or you could find yourself severely lacking in volunteers," Spoofy said with a grin. Quie laughed.
"The drawbacks of ultimate power and leadership," she declared with an exaggerated sigh. "You always have to think of the well being of your troops." The three of them laughed, and began to head back towards their castle.

"The battle was a success, Master," Kirri reported to Kateous, who was sitting in her secret hideout sewing back onto her evil cloak of doom one of sequins that had fallen off.
"Any casualties?" she asked hopefully. Kirri shook her head.
"None amoung the Fictioners."
"Damn," Kateous sighed. Then she brightened. "Oh well - we have something even better planned for our little DAAS lovers�" she cackled evilly, as only true super villains can do.
"We do?" Kirri asked, confused.
Kateous nodded gleefully. "Yep! And with the Channel 7 army out of the way, it's time to put our plan into action!"
She broke the thread attached to the needle with her teeth, then pulled her cloak around her shoulders. It made a satisfying swoosh sound, and the newly sewed on sequin sparkled. With a triumphant grin, she beckoned to Kirri and the two set off to work some evil, Butch trailing along behind.

"I told you we should have stayed put," wallflower muttered with an accusing 'I told you so tone'. Jo glared at her over her shoulder, trying to ignore the pain in her legs reminding her just how long they'd been standing in this bloody mine field.
"Shut up or I'll push you over," she snapped back. Never one to back down from a challenge, wallflower immediately retaliated and the two were soon in a heated argument that ended up with the inevitable
"Did not!"
"Did to!"
"Did not!"
"Did to!"
Verona watched the two of them in contempt. Patience, she told herself. Patience - they'll all be dead soon. And then you won't have to put up with their incessant squabbling anymore.

*que dramatic Dun dun dun! music*