The next day Esha felt better, but she still wasn't ready to face Paul, so she instead decided to try some retail therapy. She spent most of the morning wandering around, window shopping. Money wasn't a problem - with magic you could have enough cash for several lifetimes. Sometimes Esha wondered why she even went shopping, when she could just conjour the object up whenever she felt like it. She decided it was because it gave her a feeling of normality. Something she could the same as everyone else.
Esha soon grew bored of the crowds and bustle of the city, and found herself wandering in the park instead. Finding a soft piece of turf, Esha sat down and pulled out a brand new sketchpad she had just bought. Esha enjoyed sketching, it helped fill in time, and captured her emotions and feelings on canvas.
She stared down at the blank page for a few minutes, trying to decide what to draw. Finally she lifted her pencil and brought it down on the page, letting it float across the paper and create the image she wanted. As soon as she had finished, she flipped over to the next page and began drawing straight away. When she was finished, she lifted her head to work out the kinks in her neck.
She gasped her eyes fell on the figure standing over her, but relaxed slightly when she saw it was only Paul. He smiled and sat down beside her, and gently he reached across and took her sketchpad. Esha let the pad slid out of her fingers, her expression unreadable.
Paul flicked from the sketch of himself to the one of Ben and back.
"You're right," he said quietly. "I do look like him. Who is he?" Esha scowled and snatched back the pad. "You mean, who WAS he," she corrected bitterly. Paul hesitated, knowing he'd hit a nerve. Slowly he moved closer to her. Esha regarded him warily, but didn't pull away.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Paul asked gently, trying to ignore his stomach that was doing flip-flops at being so close to her. Esha drew in a deep breath. If she told Paul about Ben, she'd have to tell him about her magic. Esha turned and gazed into his eyes, wondering whether she trusted him enough to confide in him.
Just the sight of him was enough to send shivers down her spine these days. Esha stared at his boyish features, and his intense hazel eyes. She would do anything for him - except endanger their friendship.
"He was my brother," was all she said. Paul waited for her to go on, but she fell silent. He sighed. He would have to hear the rest of the story another day.
"C'mon," he said, a grin appearing on his face. "Let's do some shopping." Esha smiled back, but it was a relieved smile more than anything else.
Paul helped pull her to her feet, then rubbed his hands together in a business like fashion. "So. Where do you want to go?"
Esha hesitated. "Actually, can we go to the beach instead? I don't feel much like shopping anymore." Paul sighed, as though he was making a huge sacrifice.
"Oh I spose," he teased.
Esha smiled, a genuine one this time. "Oh you're so kind and generous," she retorted sarcastically.
"Sarcasm!" Paul cried in triumph. "She's capable of human emotions after all!" Esha couldn't help but laugh, and slapped him lightly on the shoulder. Paul just grinned and hesitantly took her hand, leading her off in the direction of the beach.

Paul and Esha strolled along the beach, each lost in their own thoughts. Paul was ecstatic at just being so close to her, his hand in hers. But he didn't want to push her. If he moved too fast he might lose her forever. Paul didn't want to do that. If nothing else, he still wanted to be her friend.
Esha stole a glance at Paul walking beside her. His face was brooding, reflective. It was all she could do not to stop abruptly and tickle him until he cried for mercy, just to cheer him up. She sighed inwardly. She had fallen for him, and hard. But she refused to make a move, fearing rejection or worse - the loss of his friendship. You have to be sure he's interested in taking things further, she told herself.
"Paul," she said, squeezing his hand ever so slightly. Paul stopped and turned to face her. Esha's heart skipped a beat as his gaze fell on her, and she barely resisted the urge to pull him to her, to feel his lips on hers.
"Um�let's sit for a while," she said, shaking her to try and rid herself of the image. Paul obliged, and they sat down in the sand, staring out across the water. Esha couldn't help but think this was the same scene that had occurred before Ben had been taken from her.
Paul took a deep breath. He didn't really know what to say, so he was just going to blurt it out. Now was a good a time as any.
"Esha, there's something I've been meaning to tell you," he began. Esha was surprised - she was just about to say the same thing. She decided to let Paul go first.
"I love being friends with you. You're one of the smartest, funniest people I know, and I love spending time with you," he hesitated. "The last thing I want is to loose you, but�I want more than just friendship. I want us to be together."
Ever so slowly he leaned over, cupping her face in his hand. He gently brought their lips together in a tender kiss. He drew back, trying to assess her reaction.
All Esha could do was stare. Paul felt the same way she did? Then it clicked. Paul felt the same way she did! She opened her mouth to tell him her feelings, but was cut off by a frantic yell.
"Paul!" They both turned around to see who was the cause of their disturbance.
"Sharon!" they both cried in surprise. "What are you doing here?" Paul added. Sharon ran up to them, panting and puffing.
"Paul, you've got to got to the hospital - fast," she blurted, trying to catch her breath. Paul stared at her, his face masked in confusion.
"Why?" he asked, afraid of the answer. Sharon hesitated - she hated being the one to tell him the bad news.
"It's Tim," she said quietly. The colour drained from Paul's face, leaving him a ghostly white.
"What happened?" he demanded, his voice barley above a whisper. Sharon shifted uncomfortably.
"We can talk about it on the way to the hospital," she replied, trying to avoid the question as long as possible. Esha helped Paul to his unsteady feet, and they all headed over to Sharon's car that she had burrowed from work.
All the way to the hospital the three were silent. Sharon concentrated on driving, Esha watching Paul, and Paul staring out the window, his mind playing all of the awful possibilities in his head.
As soon as they got there Paul leapt out of the car, Esha and Sharon not far behind. He rushed up to the front desk, ready to ask which room Tim was in, when Sharon laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"No Paul," she said, avoiding eye contact. Paul frowned slightly - what was she doing? "You have to take a test first," she added quietly.
"A test?" Paul asked, confused. Fear began to dawn in his eyes. "Sharon, why is Tim here?" he demanded, although he thought he already knew the answer.
"Paul�Tim has AIDS. I'm sorry."

Paul sat through the tests numbly, his mind not registering a single moment. Tim had AIDS. That meant he could have it too - but far more frightening was the fact that Tim was going to die.
Tears welled up in Paul's eyes, and flowed openly down his face. He couldn't begin to even think of life without Tim. The break up had been hard enough - but to never see him again? Paul didn't know if he would be able to deal with that.
Warm arms wrapped themselves around his shivering body, and Paul looked up to see Esha's sad face. He buried his face in her shoulder.
"I'm so scared," he confessed between sobs. Esha didn't say anything, she just gently stroked his hair, slowly soothing him. She was scared too, but not about Paul having AIDS. As soon as Sharon had begun acting strange she had done a quick scan of Paul's system herself, and he was fine. She was scared for a totally different reason. She had seen Paul's reaction to Sharon's bad news about Time, and she knew that he still had feelings for him. Her fears stemmed from just how deep those feelings went.
Paul's tears finally began to subside, and he pulled away from her, clearly embarrassed at appearing so vulnerable.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, wiping his face. A small smile played on Esha's lips as she watched him. She reached across and lightly stroked his face, brushing away his tears.
Paul stared at her, mesmerized. But the moment was spoiled as a doctor came bursting into the room, a clipboard grasped in his hand.
"Mr McDermott?" he demanded, a bit rudely. Paul frowned angrily - he hated rude people.
"What?" he growled back, every bit as rude as the doctor. The doctor looked slightly surprised, but didn't catch on.
"Your tests are negative," he said indifferently, "and you can see Mr Ferguson now." His obligations complete, he turned and swiftly left.
Paul's face was a mixture of joy and dread. Of course he was happy he was going to live, but he was about to see Tim again. He felt a warm hand slip into his own, and he looked up. Esha was beside him, an encouraging smile on her face. Although she was dreading seeing Tim far more than Paul, Esha was going to be there for him.
Paul offered her a brave smile, and slowly climbed down off the bench where he'd been sitting.
"No time like the present," he said, pretending to be cheerful and trying to ignore the little voice that whispered, especially because the present is the only thing that Tim has left.
They walked hand in hand up to Tim's room. Esha went to open the door, but Paul stopped her. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, mustering up all his strength.
"Okay," he breathed, opening his eyes. Wordlessly Esha opened the door, her eyes never leaving his face as she prepared herself for the worst.

Dear Diary, I've lost him. Oh god, I've lost him. The second I opened the door I knew it was over, before it had even begun. My heart is slowly dying, fading within my chest. My life shattered within a single instant in time. He's still in love with Tim. No matter what happens between us, there will always be Tim. The look on his face told me everything that will never be said. Paul loves Tim more than anything - I could see it in his eyes when he saw him lying on the hospital bed, helpless, dying. There is no way I can compete with the love they share. No words were spoken. The past few months were forgotten in an instant, and they hugged like they had never been apart. Their lips met and it was all I could do not to wail my grief. I thought he was the one. I really did. My life partner, someone to fill the aching void that Ben left in my soul. But no, he was never meant for me. He belongs to someone else, and I am destined to spend eternity alone. I watched them, much as it pained me, I watched them together, as they faced this impending tragedy side by side. And my heart not only held onto the love I should not feel, it redoubled its efforts. I love him more than ever. He can never be mine, but I will always be his. But how long is always? Will I sacrifice everything for his happiness? My heart leaps at the chance to make him happy, but my head tells to be reasonable. Which do I listen to? I know I can make Paul's life happy. I have the power. But will I do it? Will I take my own life for him? There are so many complications. What of Tim's wife? Will she just walk away? Even if I take death from his body into my own, will she just stand aside and let him be taken? My sacrifice may come to nothing. Tim has already left Paul once, what's to say he won't do it again? My heart cries that I must at least try. To do everything in my power to bring about Paul's happiness. But of the consequences I dare not think. I have a decision to make�.

Paul sat beside Tim's hospital bed, content to merely watch him sleep. His life had been hell the past few days. Sharon had been whisked away to some business deal overseas, and even though she called him everyday it just wasn't the same. And Esha seemed to have disappeared of the face of the earth. Paul felt so alone, struggling to come to grips with the tragedy that clutched his heart.
Tim stirred slightly. Paul reached out and gently clasped his hand, and began to sing. It was a sweet lullaby, and even though Paul had no idea what it was called, it still touched him. Tim settled down into sleep once more.
Paul wiped the tears that had begun to flow away, careful not to make a sound. A small noise from the doorway made him look up. Esha was standing there, watching him. Paul climbed to his feet and headed over to her, making sure not to wake Tim.
Esha led him out into the waiting room, and sat down on the couch. Paul followed suit.
"I'm sorry I haven't been around lately," she began. Paul didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue. "Look Paul�" Esha broke off again, unsure of how to put what she was feeling into words.
"Hey, what is it?" Paul asked, sensing her unease. "You can tell me."
Esha took a deep breath. There was no backing out of this now.
"You've made it clear that you want to know more about my past, and I've decided to share it with you. Not all of it," she added, seeing his surprised expression. "But some of it." She dropped her gaze, and studied her hands.
"As you've probably guessed, I didn't have a perfect childhood. My eyes," she gestured to her face, "made me different from everyone else. I didn't have any friends, and no one would give me the time of day. My mother died when I was only 6, and my father was an alcoholic. He was never around, and when he was I wished he wasn't." She took another deep breath. This was hard. Paul was silent, knowing that if he interrupted now she might never continue.
"But none of that mattered. I had Ben. He was my twin, older than me by ten minutes, but younger at heart than I ever was." A small smile crossed her lips as she remembered. "He was my best friend as well as my entire family in one. I didn't need anyone else. We took care of each other." She sat there in silence for a moment, and Paul began to think she'd forgotten he was there when she reached into her pocket and pulled out her wallet. After a minute of riffling through it, she produced a photo of Ben and herself. Paul politely accepted it, surprised at how like himself Ben looked. Wordlessly he handed it back to her.
Esha gazed at the picture before putting it back in her wallet.
"He died from cancer just after our 16th birthday." She didn't add why. "He spent months in the hospital in a coma, but he never woke up." Tears formed in her eyes. "I never got to say goodbye." She began to sob, burying her face in her hands.
Paul wrapped his arms around her, trying to offer her some comfort although his mind was still reeling from what she had just told him.
Esha wiped away her tears, angry at herself for letting her emotions show. She wasn't some weak girl, looking for pity or sympathy!
"Anyway," she said, sniffing and straightening slightly. "After he died, I moved to another state. I cut off everything that linked me back there. I even changed my name a few times. I learnt how to take care of myself. I�I thought about joining him, but I never did. I didn't have the strength or the courage." She didn't add that she hadn't wanted to cast away the second chance that Ben had given her, to lay to waste his costly sacrifice.
"I met Sharon in the park - I was painting and she complimented my work. We got to be friends, but she never knew about my past." Esha hung her head slightly. "I never told her the full story."
Paul was silent for a while, letting this information sink in.
"You're not telling me the full story now either, are you?" he asked. His tone wasn't angry or hard, just curious. Esha shook her head slowly.
"You're not going to tell me are you?" Again she slowly shook her head, as though she wasn't sure. He sighed.
"All I can do is be here for you Esha. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine by me, but I worry about you. It's not safe to let things fester." His expression was sad. "Believe me - I speak from experience." He got up and went back into Tim's room.
Esha got up and looked through the glass in the door, watching him. She had told him all she could, and now it was time to end it. She had to do what she had planned.

Esha crossed the road outside the hospital, heading towards the park on the other side. Glancing around, she spotted who she was looking for by an old oak tree. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she marched purposefully over to the tree.
"Greeting Dragon Eyes," the old woman bowed her head slightly in respect. Esha returned the courtesy, although her manner was slightly impatient.
"Did you bring it?" she demanded nervously. The old woman regarded her for a moment, and Esha shifted uncomfortably under her intense gaze.
"I wish you would reconsider child," the old woman said finally, pulling a small pouch from her pocket and handing it to Esha.
"I wish I could," Esha replied simply, taking the pouch and tucking it into her own pocket. Satisfied it was safe, she returned her attention to the old woman.
"Thank you for your kindness, and understanding. You will always have my gratitude. May the powers remain strong within you."
The old woman watched silently as Esha turned away and headed back into the hospital.
"Oh child, I wish you would reconsider," she whispered. "So many things could go wrong, and there is nothing you can do to prevent them."

Esha returned to Tim's room to find Paul lightly dozing in a chair next to Tim's bed, his head resting in his hands. Tim's eyes were closed and his breathing was heavy.
Being as quiet as possible, Esha crossed the room to where Paul sat. Gently she shook him awake.
"Paul," she whispered, glancing at Tim to make sure she hadn't woken him up. Paul moaned slightly, and she shook him harder. He awoke slowly, blinking up at her groggily.
"What're you doing here?" he mumbled, wiping sleep out of his eyes. Esha smiled slightly at the cute picture he made.
"Go home and rest Paul," she said quietly. Paul shook his head stubbornly.
"I can't," he protested. "What if he wakes up and I'm not here? Or if�" he trailed off, unable to complete the sentence.
"What if he does, and you're so exhausted you sleep right through it?" Esha pointed out. Paul flinched slightly, and cast a look at Tim.
"Go home Paul," Esha said again, just as gently as before. This time Paul nodded hesitantly in agreement. She helped him to his feet and accompanied him to the door.
"Don't worry - I'll keep him company," she reassured him. Acting on impulse, she reached out and pulled him into a rough hug. Her skin tingled where it came in contact with his, and her stomach was doing gymnastics inside her, but she was happy she did it.
"Go get some rest," she whispered into his ear, before letting him go. Slightly bewildered at her strange behavior, Paul nodded and left.
"That was very manipulative," a voice said behind her. Esha didn't take her eyes off Paul's disappearing back. It would probably be the last time she ever saw him again.
"I know," she whispered.
With a small sigh, she turned to face Tim. He was in the same position as he had been when she came in, except his eyes were now open, watching her curiously.
"Thank you. I was worried he was going to cark it before me, with the lack of sleep he's been getting. Not even I could get him away," Tim said, never taking his eyes off her.
Esha crossed the room, seating herself in the chair that Paul had been in not minutes before.
"We need to talk," she said bluntly.

"Okay," Tim said slowly. "Are you going to tell me your name first?" Esha stared at him blankly.
"My name?"
"Yeah," Tim replied, a slight smile on his haggard face. "I have no idea who you are."
"Oh." Esha considered for a moment. "I'm a friend of Sharon's. She introduced me to Paul." She shrugged, as if that explained everything.
"Oh." Tim couldn't think of anything else to say. Esha shook her head slightly, as though to remind herself why she was here.
"You interrupted my train of thought," she complained. "I had it all worked out in my head." Tim began to laugh, but ended up in a fit of coughs. Esha flinched visibly from the sound, knowing that it would soon be her coughing like that. Tim didn't notice - he was too busy trying to breath.
Hesitantly Esha put her hand on his heaving shoulder, drawing a tiny bit of the cough into her own body, so he could at least breath.
As soon as she touched him, Tim felt better than he had for days. He stopped coughing almost instantly, and glanced up at her. The moment was broken when she began to cough just the same way he had. It only lasted a minute or two, but Esha was surprised at the amount of pain that accompanied it. It was as though her lungs were in fire, trying to burn through her chest and set her aflame.
After it had subsided somewhat, she took a sip of water from a glass resting nearby. Tim frowned slightly - he hadn't seen a glass there before. He dismissed the thought as soon as it crossed his mind; after all, he was dying.
Esha sipped the mountain spring water gratefully. It refreshed her instantly. She noticed Tim watching her, and hoped he hadn't seen her conjour up the glass. She decided he hadn't, otherwise he wouldn't just be sitting there calmly.
"You okay now?" Tim asked. She gave a weak smile.
"Sure. Sympathetic cough. You know, someone coughs near me and I just have to join in," she gave a half-hearted laugh. The pain from the cough had scared her, and she was suddenly having huge doubts about the whole thing. She quickly shoved them aside. This was for Paul.
"Look Tim, I'll be honest. I don't know you. The only things I do know about you is stuff I've heard from other people. The only thing I've ever seen you do is what you did to Paul after you left him." Tim lowered his head guiltily, but Esha went on.
"This doesn't really give me a saintly picture of you." She paused. "But what I'm about to do is for both you and Paul." Tim looked up, confused. He opened his mouth to say something, but Esha cut him off.
"Promise me that what happens in this room will never reach Paul's ears. He must never know about what's going to happen." Tim hesitated.
"Promise me," she insisted. Reluctantly, Tim nodded. Esha sighed, relieved.
"Good." It was now her turn to hesitate. "Um, I didn't think this out too well," she admitted, getting up and pacing next to his bed. How was she going to explain what she was about to do?
"Okay, you're not going to believe me anyway, so I might as well say it. I'm a witch. I cast spells and make magic and stuff." She stopped, expecting Tim to laugh at her.
"Right," Tim said, drawing out the word, and looking at her as though she should be in a different sort of hospital. Esha sighed inwardly. At least he didn't laugh.
"It doesn't matter if you don't believe me. You will. It doesn't change anything though." She hesitated again. Her self confidence wasn't anything special, and this was a tricky situation.
"I'm going to heal you," she blurted. Tim frowned, not sure if he'd heard her right.
"Excuse me?"
"I'm going to suck the sickness out of you," Esha explained. Tim scowled at her. "Don't even joke about something like that," he growled.
Esha felt like screaming. This was so frustrating! Here she was, trying to save this guy's life, and he was threatening her!
"You think I like doing this?!" she exploded. "Do you have any idea what's going to happen to ME?! The sickness has to go somewhere you know! I'm a hell of a lot younger than you! Why should I have to die? I don't want to�I'm not ready�" Esha could feel the tears flowing down her cheeks, and she wiped at them angrily.
"What's the difference between you and me? Why should I die so that you can live?" She slid to the floor, no longer trying to stop the tears anymore. Tim stared at her, shocked.
"You're serious aren't you?" he said quietly. Esha nodded silently, sniffing. "But why would you?" he couldn't help asking. "Why would you be willing to sacrifice yourself for me?"
Esha looked up, locking her eyes in Tim's. Tim frowned slightly. Hadn't her eyes been grey?
"You want to know why?" she whispered, so quietly that Tim almost didn't hear her. "I'll show you why." Esha climbed to her feet. A quick wave of her hand and Paul was suddenly standing beside her.
Tim gasped and sat bolt upright in the bed.
"Don't worry," Esha reassured him, her eyes fixed on Paul. "It's not really him. Just a projection." Tim stared at the Paul image. It blinked at him.
He shuddered. He could tell it wasn't Paul. The eyes were vacant and dull. The lights were on, but no one was home. He turned to Esha, desperate not to look at the thing any more.
"How did you do that?" he asked, slightly apprehensive of the answer.
"I told you," Esha replied absently. A quick wave of her hand, and the Paul image vanished. She returned her attention back to Tim.
"He's why you must live," she said quietly. "And I must die."