I still can't believe what's happened. After all this time, after all your reassurances, I still can't believe you finally return my love. That my solid simple world could have changed so drastically for the better with one small declaration. Three tiny words.
I watch enthralled as you sleep beside me. The way your chest rises and falls slightly with every breath, the way your eyelashes flutter slightly as you dream. Hazel eyes that not too long ago had been filled with passion and lust�directed at me.
And that's what's truly amazing to me - that it's me that can cause you such pleasure, it's me that draws this overwhelming love from you. And that it's me you want.

You have no idea how long I've wanted this, Paul. How long I've watched you, loved you, needed you. You have no idea how many times I dreamed of the moment that you finally realised your love for me, and returned my feelings.
I believed I was a fool to think such things, to cling to such a pathetic hope. I knew that they were only dreams�and when they became reality, I thought my heart would burst. Had I somehow died without knowing it, and gone to heaven? For surely nothing this wonderful had ever happened to me. And yet it had. I had met you.

Do you know what I thought when you invited me to your place, that night you told me? I thought you wanted to end our friendship. That tiny, insecure voice deep inside me whispered that you had discovered my feelings, and full of disgust and hatred, you would turn me away.
I should have known that even if you were aware of my feelings, you could never hate me. Even if you hadn't felt what I felt, our friendship was too strong for something as trivial as lust. I convinced myself that lust was all I felt for you. The other option was far too daunting to contemplate�and yet it was the other option that has brought us such happiness.

Do you remember all the times you came to me, heartbroken over some emotion-deprived woman? All those times you cried in my arms, thinking that you were to blame after each relationship failed? For every tear you shred, another piece of my heart shattered.
I could never understand how these women - and men for that matter - used and abused you like that. And how you let them! Did you honestly need me to point out your true worth? Are you that insecure that you truly did not see yourself as the wonderful person you are?
You didn't need my strength; you never have. I was only ever there to hold you during your darkest moments, only there to let you know that you are never alone. The strength to get back up, to stand up and fight again - that was all you. I could only nod in encouragement.

We've been best friends for so long, Paul. We know nearly everything there is to know about each other. But how could you know that so many times during our conversations of love, of what we really wanted in a relationship, I was dreaming of being the person you seemed so adamant on finding?
I wished I could be all those thing you were looking for in a lover - it seemed as unrealistic as you returning my love for you. And yet I was, wasn't I? Unbeknownst to both of us, I was everything you searched for.

Ever so lightly I run my fingers across your face, my disbelieving hands needing to reassure themselves that it really you asleep beside me; that I'm not hallucinating. You stir slightly and I jerk my hand away, petrified of waking you and at the same time wishing you to open your glorious eyes, to have them gaze at me. To see you smile.
But you mutter something incomprehensible and drift off again, leaving me to return to my thoughts. Yet who can think if they have you lying there beside them?

Your search for love is over, my darling. For you found me, and I will never hurt you, or turn you away. I will never abuse you, or never be too busy for you. I will be there for you, as I always have been, and always will be.

I close my eyes as I snuggle closer to you, finally ready to join you in slumber, a smile on my face.