The Chronological Animated Disney Canon: The Dark Age
Movie the Twenty-Second: "The Aristocats"
Oh, dear. If this movie sets the tone for the films made in the decade and a half after Walt's death, then this is going to be a l-o-n-g chapter…
I probably should have taken it as a real bad sign rather than a stroke of incredible good luck that Netflix sent me this DVD on the date of it's release. *Every* other new movie I've rented has had at least a short wait. That tells me that *nobody* was clamoring for a special edition of this movie. I should mention that this is one of the few pre-2000 Disney movies I haven't seen yet. And now that I have… ugh.
"Sword in the Stone" was obviously cheap. "Aristocats" is downright half-assed. I've read that the movie actually started life as a made-for-TV movie and it shows. I commend my younger self for classifying this one as skippable.
"Everybody Wants to be a Cat" is an awesome song, though. It's a little less than an hour in, so you know.
Movie the Twenty-Third: "Bedknobs and Broomsticks"
"Madness? This! Is! SOCCER!!!!!"
Yes, that's the funniest thing I can think of for this movie and even THEN it's crap. As with "Aristocats", while this movie was played nearly every day on the Disney Channel, I managed to never sit down and watch the whole thing - or any of it at all, come to think of it. And once again, I should have trusted the wisdom of my younger self. With annoying characters, awful songs, and a five-minute animated sequence that's downright pointless, this one was terrible.
Look, it may appear as though I'm being harsh towards this set of movies but watching them in order reminds me of the reputation Disney built up over the years. Even the compilation features of the 40's were wildly creative with the animators at the top of their game and willing to experiment. And keep this in mind: from my reading, I've learned that Walt Disney was just about a total control-freak. That's the condition those wildly creative sequences were made under. So to see the studio -without a control freak looking over their shoulders (sorry, Walt)- give up on trying new things and instead make a movie that's cheap or just outright bad isn't just disappointing, it's downright embarrassing.
And as proof that creative, inventive, daring animated films were still out there (and making Disney look stuffy by comparison), consider what the competition was up to in the 70's and early 80's: "The Point", "Fritz the Cat", "La Planete Sauvage", "Allegro Non Troppo", "The Mouse and his Child", Richard Williams' "Raggedy Anne and Andy", "Watership Down", "The Castle of Cagliostro", "The Last Unicorn", "Twice Upon a Time", "Rock and Rule", and (ahem) "The Secret of N.I.M.H."
Additionally, "Bedknobs" neatly emphasizes why I don't like musicals. Try to make it through the endless "Portobello Road" number and try to tell me my dislike of the genre (they sing and dance for fifteen minutes) is unfounded.
Movie the Twenty-Fourth: "Robin Hood"
Baloo the Bear, performed by Phil Harris, was the most popular character in "The Jungle Book". The Disney people obviously thought so too; they had him come back and do damn near the same character in two other movies, "Aristocats" and this one.
Little John actually looks a lot like Baloo. As a matter of fact, they even recycle the animation of Baloo and kindly ask us to pretend not to notice.
Also, pretend you don't notice that they have also recycled other character designs from "The Jungle Book" as well as "Aristocats" and "Bedknobs and Broomsticks". Finally, ignore the animation reused over and over again during this movie as well as the animation that was blatantly rotoscoped (copied, to put it bluntly) off each of the aforementioned films, and "Snow White"(!!!), and "Sleeping Beauty", and "Cinderella".
Dear readers, those of you who know me from Yesterdayland/Memory Lane know that I am quite quiet about my private life, so it's highly unusual to give you such information as the following: this morning, I had a minor invasive medical procedure. I'm quite fine now but for the rest of the day I cannot eat anything but mushy foods and -more importantly- I am unable to drink alcohol. Which is to say, I very dearly wish I had been able to do so. A "spot the shoddy things in this movie" drinking game would have made "Robin Hood" at least a tiny bit more tolerable. The "Phony King of England" number, where the recycling is extremely obvious, would have me under the table but oh well.
What we have here is the movie with the very dubious distinction of being the single cheapest theatrical animated Disney movie ever. If "Aristocats" was half-assed, this one is downright 1/75th-assed. The best thing I can say is that it really can't get worse than this.
I have to pick on one last thing, but it really says it all. Seeing Prince John go all annoying stereotype and cry for mommy while sucking his thumb isn’t even funny the first time. We get to see the routine ten times.
Movie the Twenty-Fifth: "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh"
So here, the Disney studio finally said, "screw everything, we'll do another compilation film." This is actually a film collecting a series of earlier "Winnie the Pooh" short films. The shorts date from 1966-1974. The first two shorts were made under Walt Disney's supervision - which means that this movie should get the hotly contested title of Walt Disney's last movie!
And you can tell the difference. This is downright refreshing. I don't even mind that it's not new material.
I always liked the last segment, "Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too", the best. I know why now: Don Bluth and his crew obviously did all the animation on Rabbit in this segment. It's some of the funniest stuff they've ever done.
Anyone who, even after all the relentless marketing, can't sit down and go "Awww" at these "Pooh" shorts has a problem.
Movie the Twenty-Sixth: "The Rescuers"
This movie's a bit of an odd duck. Don Bluth is listed as one of the heads of the production and, really, this feels a hell of a lot more like one of his solo movies than any Disney movie. It literally has each and every one of his favorite tropes covered: little animals, sad little children, little animals being the only friends of sad little children, weird plot twists, sad music, over-the-top cruel villains, sparkly thingies, hurt-comfort scenes, epic quests, glurge-heavy ballads, and big bulky crocodiles (wait…) Watching "The Rescuers", you can see where Bluth would hammer the dents out of these favorite plot elements; sometimes they'd work better, sometimes they wouldn't.
Bernard and Ms. Bianca are fun characters, but the movie spends surprisingly little time with them. Madame Medusa is really just Cruella DeVille, only twice as psychotic and not as memorable. Penny is the real star of the movie and, honestly, her ordeal is just way too dramatic. This is the most Emo Disney movie I've seen so far. I almost couldn't take it anymore around the time they start playing the song that goes "don't cry, little one, somebody out there loves you" over and over.
It probably won't surprise anyone when I say that I was always a bigger fan of the sequel. For one thing, it has aged much better (I think - I haven't watched it again yet, remember). "Rescuers" is unbelievably seventies. The music just brings soft-focus album covers to mind and a great deal of the visuals consist of seagulls flying against sunsets, right off those same album covers. While this may be the best fully-animated original film the Dark Age has to offer, I don't really know what to say about it. It's worth noting that this is one of the last films overseen by any of the Nine Old Men. From here on, the Newbies would be in charge…
Movie the Twenty-Seventh: "Pete's Dragon"
Better known as "The Movie That Made Don Bluth Say, 'F*** It.'"
After watching this one for the first time ever, I started to think that I was a little rash in calling the late-90's/early-00's period the Dork Age. This is the "Pretty Woman" of the Disney Animated Canon (stay with me here). The original short story told a very dark, depressing story of a little orphan boy who'd escaped from his abusive foster family and retreated into a fantasy world of magic dragons.
Something obviously got lost in the adaptation here. It's either the fact that Elliot is absolutely real from the first scene or the fact that it's a musical. On the first point, Elliot is actually invisible most of the time for no other reason than saving money on special effects. On the second point, this is the kind of musical where you half expect them to start singing, "The Front Door's a Little Sticky (You Might Have To Give It A Good Kick Open)".
Mind you, aside from the dragon and the songs, the story is still very dark, which makes for a movie that is downright manic-depressive in tone. Fortunately, Don Bluth was in charge of all the animation, and the character animation on Elliot is wonderful. Too bad we only see twenty minutes of it.
Movie the Twenty-Eighth: "The Fox and The Hound"
If I am not mistaken, this is the very first movie I ever saw in a theater. Having watched it again, I realize that in all these years, I only had the vaguest memories of it. Mostly the fact that Glen Keane (he did much of the last act, including the bear scene) is incredible.
Man, Disney was on some drama-rama kick at this time, weren't they? This time, Richard Rich is listed as one of the Directors. While he isn't as well-known as Don Bluth, he's another Disney animator who later formed his own studio. He's best known for "The Swan Princess". His other films are very eclectic (ranging from Biblical epics to cutesy musicals), but he loves drama.
"The Fox and the Hound" has got more drama per pound than some live-action movies. It's got very little incidental music and the cheerful songs and comic relief characters are instantly forgettable. It gets lost in the shuffle of other films, but it's well worth revisiting as it may be the most mature film in the Cannon.
Incidentally, it's almost worth it to watch "The Fox and the Hound 2" trailer included on the disk just for the "WTF" factor. (I don't want to spoil it but isn't this plot right out of EVERY Disney Channel sitcom ever?)
Movie the Twenty-Ninth: "TRON"
Well, first, I need to do the obligatory thing where you sit there and reflect on the fact that you're writing a review of "TRON" on a better computer than the one they used to animate it. (She does this.)
While it was an expensive bomb back in the day, "TRON" has since grown into a cult classic and it's easy to see why; it's the best out of all the movies in this chapter. Thanks to the remastered DVD, it looks and sounds better than ever. Very trippy and cool, it appears as though they used a similar design aesthetic for EPCOT's Future World buildings.
Hey, did you ever notice that this movie is all about gaining evidence for a copyright infringement suit?
Movie the Thirtieth: "The Black Cauldron"
Better known as "The Movie That Made Tim Burton Say, 'F*** It.'"
Even better known as "The Movie That Almost Killed The Studio. No, really."
In production for nearly twelve years, way over budget, and the first Disney movie ever to fall victim to (dunt-dunt-daa) Executive Meddling right before it's release. New big boss Michael Eisner welcomed himself to the animators by chopping several scenes out of the finished film. (Anyone with even a rudimentary knowledge of animation's production process, specifically how animated features are meticulously planned from beginning to end well before anyone gets to put pencil to paper in earnest, will see how insane this was.) "Black Cauldron" bombed spectacularly in it's initial release and was kept out of circulation for decades.
When Disney finally released it on video, it was barely promoted and given a bare-bones release. The DVD is slightly better. At least the film is in it's original widescreen format - but it isn't anamorphic. You will learn what anamorphic means the second the movie starts, especially if you've got a 16x9 television. You'll also learn the difference between 5.1 surround sound and whatever was available in the 80's, as the soundtrack hasn't been remixed with the new technology and tends to fade in and out (I pumped up the volume to the thirties to hear the dialogue and got the s**t scared out of me when the guard dog started barking).
For all this… I kind of liked it. Yes, it's obvious that the production was labored and plagued with problems; expect a very episodic movie. But it's a hell of a lot more interesting than the similarly-themed "Sword in the Stone" and has a far more focused plotline. It also (see what a huge difference this makes) has a great cast of villains and supporting characters. It's just bizarre how this is remembered more for what it could have been than accepted for what it is. I like The Chronicles of Prydain too and I do think a faithful film series would be quite good. But really, how come nobody levels the same kinds of "Wah, it doesn't have anything to do with the books" complaints at "The Jungle Book", or "Sword in the Stone" for that matter?
And what's Eilonwy got to do to be a part of the Princesses line?
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