-- MONDAY GAME WRAPS:
Recap for Monday Night July 31st - unofficial league clinching
Our return encounter with the LaBarge squad turned from a laugher to a deficit to a game of patience (waiting for a cloud) to a sprint to the finish. Normally in these early games with the tough sunfield its like a rhino trying to screw a chicken - not a whole lot of scoring to be had. But this time, the rhino and the chicken both got off to hot starts. Our two headed monster Limp-The-Best-We-Got anchored the middle of our lineup that consisted of just 10 guys tonight. Shockingly enough LaBarge didn't need to steal any players to compete.
In six innings, the Sluggers as the home team led: 9-2, 12-9, 16-13, 21-13, 23-16 and finally 30-17. The only real cause for concern was after the top of the 3rd and we briefly trailed 13-12. First game over the fence tater patrol goes to MSTBWG - "I don't need no stinking fences" tater patrol goes to Gus. A ton of walks accumulated by the sluggers with a lefty on the mound for them. His pitch count must have been about 150 with all the rainbows he was tossing. Our lead-off batter Gus & 2nd lead-off Cartman did a smash us job of reaching base all game. Chocolatey Kudos with sprinkles to you both.
With the umpire sun-blind by now and the sun nearly out of the equation, the Sluggers began the new game with a little fireworks display. After a Big Dawg base on balls, and a MSTBWG laser double Johnny Wamp sailed one into the POO for a three run bomb down the left field line high over the Fenway fence. Not to be outdone, Commish "ooooooh'd" one a little bit farther(read Captain Solo). Now existed the possibility of back-to-back-to-back jacks with Freak strolling to the plate. The pitch...a swing...its high enough...its deep...(sound like ball hitting a chain link fence)...not quite - double for the Freak. In the four innings we actually got to play, this game was never in doubt even with switch'em up fielding positions like we like to do. Notable is a disputed HR by MSTBWG allegedly hit with the wooden bat - nonetheless it was a HR. Batting 2nd lead-off, Corey nearly ended the young pitcher life with a shot back through the box. On the defensive side, Big Dawg had a couple of shining plays at 2B - one a force play and another on a bang-bang relay that Big Dawg smacked on a tag for the out. I would definitively hear some sh*t if I didn't mention that Cartman was ripping their right side apart all night with flairs (knife edged chop, wooo! ), worm burners and a frozen rope or two. Game two win 19-5.
Next up: Monday Sluggers summer session finished. Tuesday at Wolffs for a little tourney action.
Game Wrap for Monday, July 24th - Night Game Double Header at Wilmore Park.
The Sluggers had two in the pink and more than a few in the stink all night long against the scrappy LaBarge crew. Team Lagersluggers.org dug into the batter's box with sleeves rolled up where applicable and went to work. Angry line drives and vicious grounders (off me ball!!) were plentiful. By the time the LaBargies got a chance to swing the sticks they already trailed 9-0. Dissecting the heart of their order, Commish allowed just a single run and the LaBarganauts would inch as close as they would get in this contest. After more Mayhem and Ultra fun, the Sluggers steam rolled to a 16-3 lead, then a do-si-do to 24-11 and finally a merciful (but blantantly wrong) call by the ump on a play at first base ended our hitting experiment for game one with 37 runs to their 11. They did get to hit one last time in the bottom of the fifth but to no avail. Finally damage in game one: 37-11 Sluggers. BONSAI!!!!
Good thing for the LaBargBargBargers, the second game began 0-0. As a change-up to game one, the Sluggers moved a few defensive players around in the second inning. The Sluggers spotted their new pitcher to three runs in the bottom of the first, the Freak trotted out for the second inning and shut down the opponent Izzy-style (a few runners but no damage thanks to Big Dawg at third base). The Freak's second inning of work after his offense tacked on four more runs was a little rocky but only two runs came in. The third inning of work for the Freak after his offensive ballooned the cushion to 10-2 proved to be a wake up call to the bullpen. Two outs into the top of the fourth frame defensively, the ball became as elusive as a greased pig painted black weaving through a pumpkin patch at midnight being chased by a blindfolded Cartman wearing oven mitts with his pants around his ankles. You get the idea. Our group survived the top part of the frame still leading 10-8 and went to the whip (if you're reading this Gus calm down - it's just a figure of speech). With all of our home runs over the fence used up (D-Myz, Limpert, Commish) the thunder went opposite field to right for some serious yardage - Limpert and Commish. Good guys plated eight runs in the inning and with that Commish returned to the pitching rubber to calm the rowdy Sluggers. The final hit ball of the evening sailed into right center field and was secured by the Freak to conclude the game. Sluggers sweep 18-8. These wins accomplished letting us decide our own fate next week with two rain out make up games early against these same LaBat Blue Beer Guzzlers.
On the night much more happened than was told above. Obviously when a team puts up 37 runs in one game alone alot of shtuff went down. Limpert hit a ball into the fence and a couple way over. Bo Jangles bopped a bomb into the poo and nearly number two but no slide into third base tonight - this time he saved it for home plate. D-Myz overcame early frustration of lining out by simply hitting them beyond the fence. On fire with a nice even rip swing was Big Dawg (who yours truly ran for/scored for a few times when he wasn't running/scoring for himself). The Freak once again struggled with the glove but contributed many wise a$$ remarks. Borgie shook off a bad week previously and ignited the offense. Cartman laced several balls into right field, hit precision and touch. Freddie played heads up all night and showed a little pop here and there. As Freak struggled on the defensive side, so did Eazy as he chopped under a few balls after a nice laser to left center. Wamp returned and pelted the Walgreen's drive thru customers with hooking liners. Commish in addition to two games of stability on the mound, pounded some niiiiiice shots over clueless outfielders' heads.
With all this being said, I think we can play better next week.
MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY!! Like a meaty Vin Diesel punch, the Tigers and Sluggers duked it out for a chance to secure the league. As has happened frequently over the past few weeks the Sluggers came up a few base hits short and fell to the Tigers 13-14 in the opener. Not to make excuses but the Sluggers were playing a bit shorthanded and beat up. Bone bruises, rapidly and frequently pulled groins, shredded hammys, tendonitis, sobriety -- all of which played a hand in our defeat.
I think I slept through game two and had the weirdest dream. I dreamed that the Lagersluggers were shut out for the 2nd time in less than a week's time. But wait the dream gets weirder. Not only did the Lagersluggers get shut out again (7-0) but there were no strippers or space aliens or costumed donkeys in my dream. Oh well, I guess we'll never know the outcome of that second game. I'll try to pay better attention this coming Monday when the Sluggers take on the perpetually shorthanded LaBarge squad (who incidentally Bo & the Freak helped pummel the Big Sticks to two short game victories). This is Ray Jandolph saying so long until next time...
The first contest was 4 and 1/2 innings long and the Sluggers were outscored in the final two frames. Got enough info? Probably not. The Big Sticks were held utterly in check for the first three frames for no runs. Nada. Zilcho. Meanwhile, in the Slugger end of town, business was brisk. Three runs in the first. Five runs in the second and nine runs in the third. Followed by 0 runs in the fourth (hey we were winded). In the top of the fourth and top of the fifth, the Big Sticks broke through to ensure no shutout. They plated a run in each inning and we did not need to bat in the bottom of the fifth as we were leading by 15 runs. Win by TKO 17-2. The only player for the Sluggers without three plate appearances was a crispy D-myz.
Game two was a start off where we left off -- so D-Myz assumed the leadoff duties. Now under the mindset of the visitors, team Lagersluggers.org got back to work with the sticks. After 3 innings we led 13-5 and then 16-5 after four. After the top half of the fifth the score ballooned to 21-5 and then the defensive reigns were loosened under MSTBWG's pitching watch. Seven runs came across for the Big Sticks to chop into our lead. After a quick 1-2-3 for the Sluggers at the bat, the Big Sticks went quietly into the muggy Wilmore night posting a single rally-tally. Final in six innings: 21-13 Sluggers win and sweep the season series from the Big Sticks.
Alot of fun on the night with the grill waiting in the wings and free easy swings at the dish. Tough night in the batter's box for Borgie but he was picked up by the exploits of the Freak and D-Myz who each only made one out all night. Poo Finders on the night: MSTBWG, Commish and D-Myz. Also inside the park tatter trots for: Eazy and Bo Jangles. As indicated above, Borgie struggled finding his stroke but found the plate several times as a scoring surrogate for Big Dawg. For the 127th week in a row, Bo proudly showed off his hard nosed play with a slide into 3rd base. Gus had a good first game only to disappear to Forest Park to ride some pine later. JoJo and MSTBWG had a high on base percentage and shagged some nice defensive plays. Freddie set the style defensively for the night with the modified five man infield and roving short outfielder. Bravo Sluggers. Next up: 7-17 6:30 games with the Tigers (1-3 vs Sluggers).
First one to sixteen runs wins -- themed documentation of events from Monday July 3rd.
Things started off on a dicey note when Freak and Co showed up to challenge the winless LaBarge squad. Team LaBarge initially consisted of 4-5 guys that swelled to 7 by gametime but that wasn't the most vexxing part. Conspicuous by his absence was the umpire, considering we were playing the late games portion of the schedule. So for us: no watching the early games finish up, no bases already laid out and no umpire to base our strategy upon.
Aside from that, what was nice to see was Fozzie and Noose on furlow from their everyday grind and suited up ready to play. Here is how things played out: after a few phone calls to the powers that be by the Freak - we got an umpire and three of our guys defected to play on LaBarge's bench (why three when we only had 12 to start with since Waaaaaaampler had a bulging sack or something and they had seven players is a mystery to me)...
Anywho, the Lagersluggers began the game as home team (we started about 30 minutes late with the substiture umpire). In the first four innings Borgie batted four times and circled the bases like a maniac holding a sparkler who is wearing his best kerosene suit. In our four innings of hitting we plated (with only nine palyers mind you) 4, 6, 4, and 2 runs respectively. The bulk of their offense was provided on a two run blast by MSTBWG on a ridiculous pitch that was not a strike and was debatable if it was hittable at all. Short game rules apply 16-4 Lagersluggers win after LaBarge finished hitting top five. JoJo and Freddie had guests they were entertaining on the night and did their best to put a good offensive or defensive foot forward. JoJo gets a highlight spotlight for trying to stretch a single into a triple with a dusty belly flop into an out tag at third base. School yard antics normally will get you an extra base and even a few runs but not in this instance (lots of powdery dirt - YUMMY, YUMMY!). Somewhere along the line, MSTBWG and Commish exchanged some competitive barbs that resulted in a little middle action for #77.
After an abreviated break, the Sluggers rolled up to bat as visitors (Fozzie, Noose & MSTBWG still working for the opposition). Let's just say bad things happened. The ump blew a call or two, a defensive miscue here and there...you get the gist. So it happened and the Sluggers found themselves on the wrong end of a 9-2 score. Calling on the facial hair genie of the lamp, Borgie again sparked the Sluggers to rally. Mad wheels by that man-child-manic, frozen rope magic by Gus, super-tard strength by the Freak, angst fueled pop by Commish and the Sluggers were back on track trailing just 9-8. Another good inning saw the Sluggers swing into the lead 14-9. After a trade-off couple of innings the game stood at 15-11 good guys with the final half inning ye to play. Now would be a good time for anyone who needs to take a bathroom break, check their voicemail, walk the dog/children or any necessary activity deemed appropriate.
How the match was won: the Newsome boys did a little hustling with a little swatting, MSTBWG torqued out for an out, Freddie's Marlboro Light non-filtered cigarette caused him to miss a can of corn in right field and the blindfolded boy swinging at the pinyata finally connected for an implausible game tying/winning hit. Sluggers stumble to a 16-15 loss and thus ended Commish's illustrious career. His publicist was unavailable for comment but later issued a text statement offering the services of his identical twin...Cammush.
Excellent defense on the night by Cartman, Bo, Borgie and D-Myz. With Big Dawg out of the area, Eazy being detained for questioning and Waaaaampler sidelined
- alot of solid hits and timely tatters by : Freak, Commish, Gus, Cartman, JoJo, Super-Borgie, D-Myz, Bo, and Freddie -- no props to the traitors: Noose, Fozzie or Mike Scott.
Next week July 10th features a rematch with the Big Sticks at 6:30 -- bring your eyewear!!!
RECAP JUNE 26TH WILMORE PARK
Game one saw the Sluggers pounce immediately for 8 runs. Aw sh*t I'm tired. Speed metal version...
Softballs on ice - wicked selection of bats - a few balls hitting the poo. Game tied up late 13-13.
Sluggers outslugged the Tigers 19-16. Wampler played a ball off his face. Freak ice skated across home plate on a rip by D-Myz. Small dog humping a small child on the bench. Beer supply running dangerously low.
Game two saw the Freak (who tore it up in game one) become the worst player on the field. I think even the Tiger bench started saying: WHO BATS AFTER THE FREAK...THE TIGERS! Well my Indians sure kicked some Cardinal a$$ tonight! OK I feel better. Gus the "lead-off guy" raked. The bash brothers - Cartman & Big Dawg raked. Hell even Eazy raked. Commish poo-i-fied a tater or three. D-Myz muscled a shot. Borgie slashed & dashed. Bo and JoJo rhymed and still found time to mash the ball. I think Walter the Dog may have gone yard at some point but I'll have to check real life TiVo for that. Speaking for myself the Freak - I managed not to spike myself but I did have several close calls. Did I mention Jason Marquis & the Cardinals got abused? OK so I did. Hitting for both teams was pretty much fun but fielding was another story. Eighteen story high fly balls dropping in for doubles/triples...infielders snagging dust clouds as the balls were already in a different zip code. All in all fifty runs scored in a marathon contest that could ultimately decide the league - good guys outlast the Tigers 29-21. Grueling and a test of wills - the Sluggers always had an answer for their rallies. Thirteen hours after the first pitch - the last out was recorded and the dog on dog action was ready to commence. Sluggers sweep. Next up for the Monday Sluggers is LaBarge (NR vs Sluggers) Late Games - 8:30 start!!
As the visitors for game two, the Sluggers were determined to keep the downtrodden Big Sticks stuck in the mud. Just as our opponent had done in the first game, we plated two runs in the top of the first. Working on several minutes rest, Commish worked quickly and let his defense make plays behind him. Something seemed different than the first game - almost as if an EVIL air had evaporated. Oh well, maybe it was just my imagination. But both pitchers had no problem keeping the big flies in the park this game. The Sluggers worked methodically to take apart the Sticks by scoring runs in bunches and limiting the scoring chances for the bad guys. Borgie notched bases hits from both sides of the plate and the middle of the lineup was in mid-season form with D-Myz, Borgie, Eazy and Bo doing alot of damage. Also as mentioned in the first game recap - Big Dawg did his own running for himself tonight and moved from first to third on a double to right by Commish. In the end the Sticks could not stop the bleeding and were once again mercied 21-5. As a whole the defense played extremely well (hitting cut-off men, making good relay throws (two runners nailed at home), backing up basemen and using two hands on many catches). Notable plays: Eazy's 2 RBI on one sac fly, Borgie's two inside the park homers, D-Myz chasing down nearly everything hit to centerfield, a nifty 1-6-3 double play started by Commish and solid patient hitting up and down the lineup. Monday Sluggers improve to 3-1 on the season.
Next up on Mondays: The Tigers (6-26) 8:30 PM (1-1 versus Tigers)
Recap of Monday Nights 2006 at Wilmore - MUSH-FEST!!!!
Slugger faces of years gone by accumulated like free drinks in Cartman's belly on his birthday (just recently celebrated - thanks for the invite ya buttwad). Old man Bo Jangles was there with his Captain Jack pose atop a cooler cooling the nectar of all softball Gods -- Busch Light -- special props to JoJo. Of course Commishh was there sporting the worst porno eyebrows ever seen to man. Really dude, what is that? D-Myz came out of hiding to make his 06' Sluggers debut. Big Dawg and Freddie apparently cut each others hair and a mighty spiffy job I might add. Gus was Gus and Wamp was late. Cartman was putting a down payment on his mail-order-goat so he was tardy as well. But the most auspicious arrival was none other than Borgs with fully decked out facial hair - grande porno moustache and festive sideburns to boot! Everyone knew the mop on top was fake to hide his baldness at the roots of his hair. Yours truly was just there soaking in Palmolive...er, the atmosphere. Yep that's what I meant.
Game one featured stellar defense and pitching as Commish shut down the Tiger-lads on only 1 run over seven innings. On the offensive side not a whole lot happening our way either. Gus tatterized a shot over...the right fielder's head - sorry Gus no fence out there so a triple and fielder's indifference. We tallied 6 runs (4 driven in by Gus - are ya happy Gus?). The real story of the game was the league provided balls. From the batter's box, it was much like hitting a ruptured tennis ball with a soggy Subway sub. Lots of big swings and routine catches for their fielders. All in all still a victory for the Monday Sluggers.
With our first win under our belts, we aggressively went after game two. If it's possible the balls for game two were worse than game one. After scratching across two early runs, our offense headed eastward to check out the strip joints. The Tigers tied the game in the 3rd and broke it open for all intents and purposes two innings later with two more runs. In the sixth the wheels came off entirely as the deficit ballooned to 9-2. For the most part our swings were good and level but few balls escaped being caught. We especially thought it was a good idea to pepper their pitcher with line drives with dismal results. At the top of the seventh after a lead off single down the third base line for the Freak, the next two hitters lined out to their pitcher. Down to our last hope in the form of Eazy, he grounded into a force out to end the contest. Sluggers even their Monday record at 1-1.
Good vibes all through for the Monday crew -- especially sticking around for the late games and the exuberance of the GX4 aided Big Sticks - who the Sluggers play in two weeks. Next up for the Monday guys -- LaBarge at 6:30.