/\ Anybody have a clue what this crap is /\ ?
-- THURSDAY GAME WRAPS:
8-10-06 The Crushing of Matt's...
After the debacle the occurred at the Wednesday tournament finale at Wolffs on August 2nd (26-2 drubbing) -- there was a definite sense that these games even though meaning nothing in the standings - were going to mean something. The first game started off a little competitive for the first few innings - the Sluggers even briefly trailed by two runs before unleashing the hounds of softball hell onto the patched together Matt's squad who were already dipping heartily into the suds. Before their groggy heads could close on the reality of things - this game was over 32-13.
With a few of the Matt's players grumbling about how good we really were (this now made us 5-1 against them counting the massacre from the Wolffs tournament where only 3 regular Thursday Sluggers were able to play). It didn't take long out of the chute for one thing to become apparent to anyone near this field - Matt's had quit the game. Shut it down. Gone on auto-pilot. Mailed it in. Headed out for siesta. Like a cobra (Snakes on a plane, Snakes on a plane!) sensing a mortally wounded mongoose, we darted forward and consumed the helpless (door) Matt's. This one was payback for that one night of glory Matt's stole from us. In the end, which didn't take long to arrive - the bloodbath was finished. 34-2 was your final. One of the most dominate displays ever by a Sluggers team and it was fun and easy. Two overwhelming defeats handed to our adversary by a combined score of 66-15 (reminds me of old MU vs NU scores). So with this ends our spring/summertime at Wolffs.
Sluggers drop two make up games to Tall Boys who were previously 1-3 vs Lagersluggers. Next up on Thursday the 10th are late games starting at 8:45 against Matt's who the Sluggers were 4-0 against but Matt's kicked the crap out of the fill-in Sluggers on the Wednesday tourney (26-2 & 30-12 respectively).
** RETURN TO WOLFFS - Special Tuesday, August 1st edition **
Team Sluggers arrived at Wolffs on Tuesday and it seemed a little weird initially. It had been over two weeks since our last games at Wolffs and especially to be playing on a Tuesday definitively made it a little twilight zone. In the hopper for the LugerSlaggers (or however the PA announcer kept butchering our team name) was: Freddie, Freak, Gus, Big Dawg, Bo, MSTBWG, Cartman, Commish, Wamp, Turley and Dolley. I'll be honest, the team we played first had a name but I have no clue what it was (we hadn't played them before in this multiple night of the week tournament format). The game was a tooth-n-nail effort by both squads with many defensive highlights on both sides. In the end (the bottom of the seventh for "Team Hits Lots of Corn") we were able to hold off our opponent and claim a satisfying 9-7 victory.
Avoiding the "Lose-and-go-home" portion of the evening, the Sluggers stayed on the evil field two for a match against another unplayed foe. We'll call them the Angry Sh*t Talking Losers. As is always the case on this cursed field #2, the Sluggers had a battle on their hands and besides the other team's second baseman unintentionally playing a ball off his face (Gus says sorry), it too was a good defensive struggle mixed in with a MSTBWG tater. Fast forward to the top of the seventh and the away team (Angry Sh*t Talking Losers) held a 10-9 advantage. They were like the team we play on Monday night, The Big Sticks, except they were loads angrier and took themselves a bit too seriously. Anywho, after Commish retired the side, it was up to our guys to rally to steal one from these Angry Sh*t Talking Losers. After the first hitter of the inning was retired, Cartman busted a ball through the middle for a big hit, Big Dawg followed suit (Turley ran for Big Dawg), Bo got a huge hit that caromed away from their outfielder and scored Cartman to tie the game and allowed the runners to advance to 2nd & 3rd with Freddie coming up. Acting on strategy, the Angry Sh*t Talking Losers' pitcher intentionally walked Freddie to bring up the Freak with the infield and outfield pulled in. Bases loaded, one out - Freak in the batter's box. Knowing the Freak as I do (hmmm...) I was in a spiteful mood after the poor sportsmanship exhibited by some of their players. I was taking all the way as three substandard pitches rolled on through. A first for the Freak, a walk off walk!! Sluggers take game two 11-10. After the game ended, Angry Sh*t Talking Losers did the honorable third grade thing and called us names and challenged Cartman to a playground fight. Good thing Limpert wasn't there or their pitcher would probably be in a hospital bed this morning...
Next up: Thursday August 3rd 6:45 / 7:45 PM at Wolffs vs Tall Boys (1-3 vs Lagersluggers)
Thursday Results of Fouble Geader against daeD tsaL.
Thursday's games were of the variety that would leave you scratching your head to the extent that you would have a bloody groove carved in your skull and gray brain matter under your finger nails. I am going to throw out a statistic for the general population to inspect and run up the flagpole (whatever the hell that may mean). Coming into tonight's games, the Sluggers culmulative record when scoring 10 runs or less was: two wins and three losses. So the flipside is our record was 20 wins against only 3 losses when scoring 11 or more runs. Enough math class...onto the action.
On the field: Turley - LF, MSTBWG - LCF, Gus - RCF, Freak - RF, Freddie - 3B, Limpert - SS, Cartman - 2B, Big Dawg - 1B, Jeff - C, Commish - P and JC mixing things up with Catcher, 2B and 1B. I noted during pre-game warm-ups that the Sluggers had alot of firepower on the bench tonight. The first game was pre-maturely decided by two occurrences primarily. One: the opponent jumping out to an 8-3 lead after one inning (and only scoring 2 more runs the rest of the game) and two: the Sluggers exhausting their HR's early on a solo and two 2-run shots. Claw as we might we fell on our Mayhems and defeat was laid before our dugout. As an asterik on the last inning when we trailed in the top half of the seventh 10-8 --- all three of our outs were hit out of the park. That's right, three HRO's: MSTBWG, COMMISH and JC. We did score a single run to lose by one ... 10-9.
Game two picked up with intensified mugginess and the occassional streaking flashes of lightning. As the home team in the nightcap, we turned in two nearly perfect innings - holding them to just one run over that span. Bad news is we were being one upped. Gus eventually broke up the perfect game in the fourth with a walk but the inning ended with nary a Slugger actually striking a ball for a hit. To make bizarre matters worse, we had a bad inning in the third to allow them six additional runs and then 4 more in the top of the fourth. After allowing a pair of runs in the top of the fifth, the Sluggers trailed 13-0 and needed four runs just to avoid being mercy ruled. Keep in mind, to this point in the game we still had not notched a real base hit. To avoid a huge indignity, Limpert and MSTBWG ripped legit base hits to left field to at least give the feel of a rally. But much like the weather all night, it threatened to break loose but ultimately all we got were those few drops here and there. No one for the Sluggers dented the plate that inning and the ballgame was done. Sluggers whitewashed 13-0. I'm sure Dead Last savored the shutout as repayment for the same done to them on June 8th -- 18-0.
It was one of those nights. It wasn't as if you could point a finger and say: "JC did this" or "JC shouldn't have tackled those guys" or "JC gives the pitcher too many pelvic thrusts" or "JC didn't push center field enough". It was just a night of oppressive funk. The team will get a breather to think about it until August 3rd for make-ups with the Tall Boys (6:45).
Thursdays action was TiVo'd for ESPN8 "The Ocho". Acquiring satellite
download...Please Stand By...
Curse of "The Other Field" continues...
Sometimes its hard to boil down the essence of a contest or great series of events to fully convey to the reader how exactly the play went down and what specifically led to victory or defeat but again I'll buck up and try...
We found ourselves pitted against the Tall Boys whom we had defeated twice previous and whom we have a rainout remake scheduled for August 3rd but for now we'll concern ourselves with the events of July 6th - Thursday of course. With a full squad under dugout (Limpert in, MSTBWG out) - we were home team first. Their hitters were primarily right handed but they drove many early pitches to right field of the dink and dunk variety. We fell behind early 3-0 and played catsup the rest of the game. Just unconscious at the plate was Dolley using some blue Mayhem. He was nearly decapitating people as even the air was trying to get out of the way of the ball. As things progressed late, the Sluggers trailed 14-8 until the bottom of our last at-bat. About 1/3 of the way into our comeback (2 runs needing six) the tires on the bus deflated and the game was over 14-10 loss to Tall Boys.
In the all important second game, things took a turn for the chippier side. Several volleys hit middle for the Tall Boys with nary a apology turned things downright hostile when Limpert and Big A$$ Bill returned the favor with flavor. The umpire held his tongue and let the players on each side sort things out. After leaving a home run on the shelf from the first game, the Sluggers took full advantage of the Tall Boys using their three home runs (allowing us to hit four). Our lefty-lefty and righty-righty punch with Gus-Dolley and Big A$$ Bill-Commish ignited our slumping offense. Trailing 15-10 in the top of the seventh, we batted until the score was tied (game tying HR going to Limpert) before making the first out. In the course of the next several hitters we were able to plate another run (also lost one at the plate) to afford us a meager lead heading into their hammer half of the seventh. In softball sometimes things play out differently than you expect. Sometimes you have what you think is a comfortable lead and you lose, then other times you have the slimmest margin for error and your make it stand up. Tonight was one of those "make-it-stand-up" nights as Commish retired the side in order -- ending things with a pop-out to JoJo at short. Sealed and delivered, Sluggers win 16-15 and keep their hopes alive of capturing the Wolffs' league.
The second game win was a testament to team play and sticking up for one another. A big win for the Sluggers (the 20th win of the season for the Sluggers collectively) and hopefully a confidence boost to the Sluggers who have struggled since the field change at Wolffs. Next up: July 13th vs Dead Last at 6:45PM (Sluggers 4-0 vs Dead Last)
Match Up for Thursday June 30th: Raymond James (1-3 vs Lagersluggers)
With a little sunshine on our shoulders (to make us happy), the Sluggers scraped together enough roster players to begin batting (eight) in the top of the first and then another to play the field and then two more by the top of the second to be considered a real threat. The hop-chop Sluggers eaked out a single baserunner in the first inning without scoring. The RJ'ers countered with four mostly with good hit placement. Over the next five innings Commish and Co settled in and held the opposition to a single run. Meanwhile...in the streets of Gotham cries for help went unheeded as the Sluggers had no time for such trivalities. There was important work to be done. Collecting the eggs, sweeping out the barn, bailing the hay, nailing the farmer's daughter... Hey we play Thursdays in Jeff County - I gotta give outsiders a little ambiance. Back to the show. The tablesetters: The Freak, JoJo and Wamp did their business and dented the plate with the help of the meat eaters: Big A$$ Bill, Commish, MSTBWG and Big Dawg. After the top of the fifth we were all squared at five runs apiece. The Sluggers tacked on two runs in the sixth and three more in the top of the seventh to hold a 10-5 advantage with but a half inning to play. A sure victory appeared to be within grasp as the RJ'ers traded two outs for two runs to cut the deficit to 10-7. Then the softball gods laughed, snorted and blew milk out their noses. A bloop, a slash, and a thud later the game was tied heading for extra innings. Sudden death mode (I'm envisioning a Steven Segal poster somewhere). With one pitch to decide your AB (full count to each batter & the last out of the previous inning on second base to start) the Sluggers struck first to the tune of four runs and a 14-10 lead. That lead was short lived. Same rules applied for the bad guys and they quickly tied the game with only one out. With two runners on and a home run to still hit...they hit it. Sluggers fall in their first extra inning game of the session 17-14.
Game two with the Sluggers starting out full strength saw a better offensive start. We slid out to a seven run lead but the RJ'ers chipped away. The game was give and take until the final inning. Tied at ten runs apiece in the top of the seventh, team Raymond James scratched across a run to take a precarious lead. Heading to the home half of the seventh with still a HR to hit, things looked promising for team good guys. But alas those kooky softball gods laughed again. The best team on Thursdays at Wolffs went down 1-2-3 with two fly balls brought down at the warning track. 11-10 Loss for the Sluggers.
Good fought games and props to Raymond James who have won three straight against the Sluggers and finished the year 3- versus Lagersluggers.org. Now the league will sort itself out to see who finishes best against the rest of the field.
On Deck for Thursday Sluggers - vs Matt's @ Wolff's Thursday June 22nd 8:45 PM Start time
- Sluggers are 4-0 versus Matt's this year
RESULTS: DOUBLE RAIN OUT
Official transcript of Thursday, June 8th -- Wolffs Softball Haven vs DEAD LAST (8:45/9:45 games)
Tonight's game wrap is brought to you by RAW PROTEIN. Coming to you in the form of a zillion darting, flittering gnat-fly-things. If you attended the games - chances are you swallowed bunches of bugs. Game one was as good a game as the Thursday Sluggers have played all season. The pitching was phenomenal. The hitting was ON throughout the lineup and even the catching was solid to above average. Even with all the runs we put up we were nearly out of HR's to hit in the first inning as Dolley-lama & MSTBWG let the force flow through them. Up 8-0 early we poured it on whilst not sharing the plate with the other team. Sluggers first white-wash in awhile 18-0 shortgame.
Game two immediately saw a reversal of fortunes in Sluggertown. The Squad from DEAD LAST (as the Visitors) immediately put up four runs to end the shutout streak of innings and put the Sluggers in trailing mode. With the Freak batting lead off, we sparked to 3 runs of our own. Commish returned to first game form and shut the opponent down with minimal scoring threats. On the Sluggers bench, MSTBWG ran rampant on the bases as the Sluggers forged ahead in the 3rd 6-4. After batting around in the 4th, the Sluggers lead ballooned to 15-4 and the coach felt confident enough to go to the bullpen and summon the Freak for a inning of relief. After a rocky start (a single followed by a bomb over the CF fence), the defense bailed out the Freak. Coming to bat in the bottom of the fifth, we needed just a single run to end the ballgame. After JoJo reached base and Cartman advanced the runner to third with a shot to right, Gus strode to the plate. After laying off a pitcher's pitch, Gus crushed a drive to centerfield. The centerfielder went back, back, back to the fence, jumped and reached over to make a pretty darn decent catch. JoJo spied the action from his vantage point at third base and methodically trotted home with the winning run. Thursday Sluggers win 16-6 and improve to 13-1 overall.
Game notes: Gus made the last out of both games. Bombs of the night: Freak, MSTBWG, Dolley-lama, Big A$$ Bill and Commish (inside-the-park). WTP: JoJo, Big A$$ Bill, JC, Wamp and Gus. The turning point in game two was when it was still close and Bill hit a bases clearing double with a line drive down the first base line. The difference maker: we made the fundamental plays. Sounds boring but its true. Also MSTBWG got flipped off by their 3rd place hitter when MSTBWG tried to throw behind him at first base after a ball was caught. MSTBWG didn't like it and patched together a voodoo doll out of Cartman's spit out chaw. Dolley-lama apparently bought cleats or something because he didn't dive or slip or tumble at all. I think Freddie may have been medicated as he was pretty docile tonight. Big Dawg another solid night in the field and at the plate. JoJo still searching for a comfort zone with any particular bat made a bid for a dinger (that sounded gone & looked gone off the bat) but just missed clearing the fence. Bottom line: the Thursday team kicks ass and gets a week off next week!!
Thursday, June 1st Results -- RAIN, BUTTLOADS OF RAIN! Back to you...
Eleven in a row ain't bad, wins I'm talking
about. From a core squad that couldn't get the collective plane to fly in the
right direction at Forest Park last year, these guys have come together this
spring and put up some impressive numbers. Big round of applause...I don't hear
any clapping. C'mon Joe's nether region makes considerably more noise after a
slinger. Clap damn you or I will hunt you down, carve happy faces into your
car's paint and super glue Richard Simmons posters with your phone number on
them all over town. You think I'm kidding. Alrightey then... As most of the Internet savvy community is
aware, the Sluggers carried a 10-game winning streak into the tussle with
Raymond James this night. Freak in the lead off spot set the tone with a solo
dinger. Many mashes later (some of them HRO) it came down to defense in the top
o'the seventh. After an alleged botched force play at second base with one out,
the next batter grounded sharply to Limpert who started a game-ending DP 6-4-3
to preserve our 11th straight win 21-18. Ballsy effort by our guys to stay cool
and focused and grind out the win. Game two was a thing of confusion and
frustration. From the onset, we trailed and each time our efforts were tallied -
we still trailed. Just a run behind at 7-6, the RJ'ers batted around to some
dispute. Their scorekeeper had some questionable marks and ultimately the umpire
sided with our assessment of 8 runs scoring in their inning as opposed to their
scorekeeper's version of 9. Under the gun at 15-6 (or 16-6 in their universe),
the Sluggers grabbed the offensive bull by the horns. After a 2-run jack by JC,
the club batted awhile and plated our own 8 runs to close to within 15-14 with
the top of the sixth looming as the final inning due to time constraints. More
minor squabbling by the RJ'ers about the 'lost run' subsided and the bad guys
eeked across an insurance run. With the hammer in hand, the Sluggers needed a
rally with nary a home run to spare. The first two hitters (Freak & Gus)
were retired, then Dolley-lama launched an ill-timed bomb to right center to
close out the evening for both team. The first defeat of the season became a
reality and was entirely surreal based on the play and outcomes of previous
weeks. I heard through the grapevine that somewhere the 72' Dolphins were
celebrating. It twas a nice run and next week is as good a time as any to start
a new winning streak.
RECAP THURSDAY MAY 18TH - VS. MATT'S
Recappage of Thursday, May
25th at WOLFFS
Jush ammo chack. I maaay havvve haaad tooo many drinkers. But heckskies, we're celebating...wait, wait. Thas not right. Gimme that speecikul filtur. Noooo. The other one by the bunny slippers. Yep that one. Thnsksa good...
Good evening/morning depending on what part of the world you're in at the present moment. It has been two full weeks since the last Sluggers report. Many have speculated that the Sluggers cannot overtake the Detroit Tigers or the New York Mets but with a few fielding gloves, some high powered tin-like bats and all those dark prayers to the evil God - yes I'm talking about Bud Selig - The Sluggers might just find their way to the winners circle yet again. But first...
/\ Anybody have a clue what this crap is /\ ?
Starting off game one minus Dolley (menstral cramps), Turley (hurricane force farts) and Limpert (deported back to Wisconsin) - the Sluggers fielded a crew of 11 able bodies that quickly reduced to a nucleus of 10 after Freddie's groin exploded at the 3rd base bag - killing several nearby chickens. The initial game was a see saw battle that saw the Sluggers (as the away/guests) sew up a 15-14 contest that was contested up until the final out.
Now the real drama of the night - the nightcap. Always tricky that nasty second game seems to be to the Slugger followers. Tonight the bats - they were a-smoking and we needed every base from every slot on the lineup card. I think the hitting star without question had to be Big Dawg. That man-child was down on all fours repeatedly just vomitting up base knock after base knock. Twice on slices to right field the Dawg rounded first base hard and took a long look at second before deciding to retreat. Dawg was on base probably sixty-five times and had maybe 103-104 RBI's. We needed all those runners, runs and some cussing to get us over the hump and past MATT'S again. Good guys win 31-26.
Notable plays on the evening: Commish blindly scooping a comebacker & tossing for a force out, Eazy being all over center field to snag balls, Cartman showing a little range behind the plate on defense, JC being led into the field by his seeing eye dog, MSTBWG & Bill disrupting the birds beyond the left field fence with sickening crushes, Wamp hitting to center field - not once but twice, Gus scoring like 50 runs while running for Big Dawg, Commish's Grand Salami, Big Ass Bill's cranium splitting open his freshly shaven skull to reveal his pulsing brain. A good fight put up by MATT'S but two more in the win column for team LagerSluggers.org.
But first shall we take a peek into the Freak's electronical misadventures over the past several days? (No porn I promise. Wait, wait maybe a little don't go!)
(ring ring) SBC/AT&T: This is Ryan Birmingham how can I help you?
Freak: Dude, my DSL has been down all day (Friday).
SBC/AT&T: Did you pay your bill dirtbag?
Freak: Huh?
SBC/AT&T: Sorry I do not normally answer the customer service lines. But I still hear all kinds of crap from losers like you everyday.
Freak: Are you f*cking kidding me?
SBC/AT&T: No I'm not. But would you be interested in a special surcharge we reserve for really annoyed customers like yourself?
Freak: What F--ing planet did I dial?
SBC/AT&T: Sir, if you don't wish to cooperate I can't help you. Now tell me what your piddly little problem is so I can get back to playing solitaire, my Etch-A-Sketch or something truly worthwhile like taking a dump.
Freak: I want to speak to your supervisor!
SBC/AT&T: I would love to pass you on to my supervisor but seeing as how I don't care and I know they wont care either - I'll save you both the trouble and just disconnect you now. And remember our slogan: YOUR HEADACHE DELIVERED.
Nothing, I mean nothing like getting your wrap-up off on a rant. So this rant, er...I mean wrap-up is being compiled on my Commodore 64 from 1985.
Game one finally saw the much anticipated match up of DEAD LAST vs LAGERSLUGGERS. The opposing dudes clad in black'n'white jerseys took it to the Sluggers and destroyed every facet of our game even challenging some of our players to re-evaluate their faith. PSYCHE!! Not even. Game one in a blowout 17-4 good guys. Cartman & Eazy returned. Also as I recall last year at Sun Valley, the Sluggers picked up a masher named Limpert. Well this guy must have a twin or something and he sent him in his place. Dude was weak. Game one saw him swing like a little girl with a broken arm, club foot, blindfolded, with bees stinging her, while lit kerosene ravaged her body and gale force winds blew in from shortstop. It wasn't pretty but at least he played some solid "D". No Johnny Wamp so the crammed parking lot was safe from us.
That was pretty much it. Only one game on Thursday as the gang from DEAD LAST said. "Screw you guys, we're going home" and left. Ah, if only it were that easy. But the DEAD LASTERS regrouped and came out more focused for round two (either that or we weren't drinking enough). After some extra base hits for the enemy we trailed early 3-0 and still so at 3-2. Somewheres in the earlyness of things, the Sluggers suffered an injury - critical to the team. Chas: ankle. While some of you may be checking the Sluggers transaction page for Chas' stats and status - stop right there. Chas wears the pants in the Ritro household & was holding down the bench coaching duties when a vicious 18 hopper was pulled by a right handed batter for DEAD LAST. On the spot x-rays (Gus poking the ankle) turned out to be negative. Chas is expected to return to full workload after the BYE week. If that wasn't bad enough the game was slowly getting away. All the while heated words were exhcanged by the benches until #77 finally took matters into his own hands. Good guys in possession of the hammer and trailing 8-3, Commish belted a 3-run bomb over the center field wall. With the embers of a rally stoked after the blast, the guys scraped and pushed across three more runs to take a lead at 9-8 with Limpert even getting into the act with a couple of healthy Big Dawg-like swings. Clutching and protecting a meager 1-run lead, the Sluggers came out and set the opponent down 1-2-(hit)-3. The LimpertSluggers post an 8-0 start for 2006. Freddie led the defensive charge with some efficient moves behind the plate. I did hear some grumbling from Big Dawg that no one liked his dancing -- dude, what the hell is that all about?
Fretatious as Commish is before a game, he was overly edgy this night in trying to fill out his lineup for a hook-up with the TALL BOYS. Straggling in towards the first pitch was JC 99, Turley and a drunken Gus. Game one was a cylinder clicking offensive and defensive bonanza. Good sh*t that was. Commish mooned a duck and Freddie held down a nun and gave her a wedgie. This dude named Limpert returned from Canada or some sh*t like that - big deal - hits bombs *YAWN*. Where was I...oh yeah, Big Dawg for some reason decided to delay the game while he showed everyone his Icky Shuffle for like 20 minutes and his finale finish was Walking Like An Egyptian -- W.T.F.!!!! Now if you don't wrap the barbed wire precisely according to the directions, your horizontal life partner will probably injure you fatally so keep that in mind. Oh and get this Dolley decided it would be a friggin all out hoot to wear roller skates in the outfield. I hate rollerskates. This one time in first grade Cathy Bennerman pushed me over the boards at the roller rink and I landed on my head. That was enough for me - no more roller skating. Hold on a sec, I think I may have confused some of the events above with what actually occurred on this particular Thursday night. Let me start over...
Game one: Sluggers as the AWAY guys. We spot ourselves three, then spot them three. That was all we would allow them in this contest. We batted around in the 4th & 5th innings - total damage 24-3 (yep, I double checked the book - that is correct on the final in six innings.)
Problematic Game Two: Things got dicey early for the hammer holders known as the Sluggers. An early 6-3 lead got away from us and we needed a 6-run fifth inning to pull all even at 13. Hopping back a second, Commish in his magenta colored rage - annihilated an unsuspecting picnic table and somewhere in the chaos a rumor surfaced that Commish had returned some of his nourishment from the orafice that had secured it previously (he yakked). Some will speculate that the tantrum by Commish spurred his fellow Sluggers to action and that was the spark to our fifth & sixth inning rallies that turned a 13-7 deficit into a 20-13 "W". No real amazing plays by JC tonight and no Freak long balls either. But Big Dawg JACKED a no-doubter beyond the fence in left. Other sh*t I remember was Commish snagging a mis-direction liner and turning it into a DP from his belly. Limpert casually sizzling a throw from deep short to nail a TALL BOY. Dolley doing goofy sh*t in the outfield but still making the plays. Big A$$ Bill giving the ground an elbow drop behind Turley's game ending catch. A bad hop grounder that would have hit me in the chest if I was JC. Gus walking like 17 times in a row (SWING THE BAT YOU P*SSY!!). Limpert scorching a shot through the middle to put things to right from earlier misdeeds by the TALL BOYS. Several drunken misplays by their outfielders to prolong our rallies. And after the games were done, sitting around listening to Freddie talk sh*t about whipping up on senior citizens in tennis. That's why his gear is so HOT HOT HOT in the foreign markets -- Freddie knows what the world wants and he delivers. Until next time, keep your bat in your bag unless you plan to use it and stay out of the bathrooms where JC works.
April 20th, Thursday Game One/Two: SLUGGERS CLUB THEIR WAY TO 4-0 START WITH 12-2 and 18-14 VICTORIES OVER RAYMOND JAMES AT WOLFFS IN THE EARLY GAMES. NEXT UP: LATE GAMES AT WOLFFS ON THE 27TH. THE FOLLOWING WEEK, MONDAY SESSION BEGINS AT WILMORE. STAY TUNED...
ALSO OF NOTE - THE HRO HEARD ROUND THE WORLD. BIG DAWG IS BACK!!!! THE MASSIVE MUSCULAR-LIKE FIRST BASEMAN LACED THEM UP FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2006 AND CRUSHED A SHOT WELL OVER THE 20 FOOT FENCE IN LEFT CENTER FIELD. THE EVENT MARKED THE FIRST DINGER BY THE REHABBING BIG DAWG IN HIS LAGERSLUGGERS CAREER. MARK APRIL 20TH ON YOUR CALENDAR AND FOR THOSE OF YOU IN ATTENDANCE - YOU CAN SAY YOU SAW IT FIRST HAND. CONGRATS BIG DAWG ON YOUR HARD WORK PAYING OFF AND WE LOOK FORWARD TO YOU HOLDING DOWN THAT FIRST BASE BAG ALL SEASON. April 13th, Thursday Game One...of the new season featured a lineup consisting of: Freddie, Freak,
Dolley, MSTBWG, Big A$$ Bill, Commish, JC 77, Eazy, Cartman and Jeff. The first
game for the Sluggers saw the first Sluggers HR/RBI (The Freak), the first BB
(Freddie), the first HRO (JC 77), the first missed pop-up by a pitcher (Commish)
and the first "W" of the season (entire squad). April 13th, Thursday Game Two...on the dusty cat litter like chat of Wolffs field "A" saw
the Sluggers bats pick up where they left off in game one. The featured game on
ESPN "The Ocho" the Sluggers showcased their expensive array of bats.
Setting the tone, Dolley rocketed a solo homer onto the barren dirt hill beyond
the fence for an early 1-0 lead and the Sluggers let the game come to them from
there. Tatters by Dolley (2) and JC 77 led the charge and notable HRO by MSTBWG
abused an innocent tree standing about 373 1/2 feet away from home in left
center. On the defensive side, JC 77 quickly turned any momentum from their side
in the bottom of the seventh with a ranging play into short left field while he
was playing SS (yeah, that's not a typo). Check out the Schedules section for
inning by inning boxscore. Tune in next time (AND IF YOU HAVE NOT PAID THE COMMISH YOUR DUES...DO SO
ASAP!!)
[Thursday, April 27th - Wolffs in Barnhart?? - 8:45 / 9:45 games]
Gather round kids. Today we're going to show you how to make a pseudo life partner by using 7.5 cups of crunchy peanut butter, thin sliced baloney, a golf pencil, 18 feet of barbed wire, the cigarette lighter from a 1975 Buick, Bazooka bubble gum and a hockey stick...but first let's turn our attention to the events of the night of April 27th at Wolffs Softball Haven - Where the parking lots are just a Johnny Wamp foul ball away.