December 2002
December 1, 5:00 PM
Many apologies to my more faithful readers. I haven't posted in forever. Mostly because of the NutCracker and an insane amount of worrying for the future. Attempting to graduate will do that to you.
I told Tree I was going to be a few minutes late to work tonight. She said "how long?" I replied "5, 10 minutes." She said "ok." It seems ridiculous to ask for 5 minutes extra on top of the hour break from cracker to sunday movie, but trust me, those five minutes will be well spent on recooping and regrouping. I need to get my head out of cracker and on to other things.
I feel a weird sense of accomplishment after this call every year. While other people are lounging at home watching parades and movie marathons while eating leftover turkey, I'm climbing a 25 foot ladder to a truss, working follow spot for a show and sweeping plastic snow off the deck so the dancers don't slip and break their necks. There's a neat feeling of pride. Some of that applause that goes to the dancers, thats for us too. They clap for our "on" lighting cues. And for every cue I botched I nailed one to redeem myself. All in all it's an exhausting weekend, but I love it. I really want to do this for a living.
With that, I must go. I have more to tell from over break, but I really need to just relax with some Harry Potter fan fiction right now. I'll type more when I find myself less mentally fried.
Love and much joy to you,
C a Girl
December 4, 4:43 AM
Sleepness night. Not real surprised. I'm just hoping I don't have to work tomorrow. I don't think I do. Just rehearsal and at this point I can afford to screw off for one night; we're in good shape.
Didn't post about the emotional trauma over break. I've decided not to. I just had a bit of a crying spat with dad and mom about my unstable future. Blah. Out of the system, I feel no need to re-approach it just yet.
P.S.- It's f'n cold in the good old Burgh. And Tiff left her window open a crack because it was way too hot in here and now it's freezing again. I can't just hop on top of her while she's sleeping to close it, so I'm wrapped in blankets and typing to keep my fingers warm. Double blah. Take care, keep warm,
C a Girl
December 4, 6:37 AM
Still not sleeping. Still not surprised. There's this one star outside of my window and it's kind of freaking me out. It's sparkling bright, so bright that you can still see it as the sun is rising. It's south-south-east, starts off low over the Green mountains as night falls and rises fairly high in the sky by sunrise. It isn't the north star, because it's not a part of the dipper. It's freaking me out because it's only been noticeable and bright for the last few days. It's probably nothing, just a star I never noticed before. But I don't like it when even the cosmos seems out of whack.
C a Girl
December 4, 10:56 PM
So, Mak and Eric needed someone to fill in on their musical theatre class project. And I agreed to help out. They're doing a musical based on the life and times of JFK (and it's all satirical). Poor taste, yes. Awful humor, yes. Bloody brilliant, hell yes. I don't mind going to hell as long as everyone around me is enjoying themselves.
C a Girl
December 6, 12:22 AM
I think the presentation went well today. Eric and Mak were pleased. Although Mak's a little hard to read, Eric was very happy and vocal about it. John Shout seemed pleased with my senior project (which makes me happy). Of course, I'm an emotional wreck. The stupidest things set me off. I get angry, or snippy, or stressed, happy happy and then crying like a fucking baby. I'm freaking out. Mom is helping, talking me through it on the phone. Ergh. I hope I turn back into myself soon.
C a Girl
December 6, 3:11 AM
Better yet, maybe I can turn into a pumpkin.
This "night owl brigade" business needs to end soon. I'm not going to have enough steam to do anything tomorrow and I have a test I haven't studied for at 10AM, a performance class at 1, some brush up work for the senior project (plus a fucking hang that was thrust in my lap last minute), a movie at 8PM (an event that happens every year, I don't want to miss it, though in the interest of sanity I probably shouldn't go) and a strike call at 10:30 that might go til 2AM. So, BED.
C a Girl
December 8, 1:30 AM
I had such a great time tonight. We had the senior banquet party. The theme was New Year's Eve 1982-1983. We had people do little speeches for the seniors and dancing all night. At midnight we counted down to the New Year, it was such a blast. I'm exhausted, but in a very good way. So for all the crankiness that has been going on lately, today was rather "UP."
Night,
C a Girl
December 8, 11:40 PM
I had a great night as a follow up to yesterday's greatness. Although rehearsal sucked (I flubbed some of my lines and got so frustrated that I lost the emotional build). But I had a terrific dinner with Chris. We went to see "Analyze That" and then we ate at Applebees. And then his car light burnt out so we went to Walmart and fixed it. I had such a good time. I hope he comes to the senior projects tomorrow night. I might ask him to marry me :).
"Can you still feel the butterflies?"
C a Girl
December 10, 10:53 PM
I just finished my last theatrical production here at good ol' PSU. I'm sort of sentimental, a little melancholy and really weird feeling just now. I said my goodbyes to the theatre, a slow thanks for everything kind of goodbye. I've had some good times in there and it won't be something I can readily forget. I just want this, theatre for my life. I want it more than anything and now I just have to make it happen. I have to make the opportunities for myself and I'm starting tomorrow. One foot over the threshold into adult life, one foot always remaining firmly grounded in childhood wonder. Here I come world!
So with that, good night and take care. Imagine me smiling, gazing out of my window trying to see where the wind will take me next. Sleep well and dream of pudding,
C a Girl