CU THEN AND NOW
CU-SeeMe: The Next Generation
by JokerX39
page 2
1. Nicknames like "Big Cock" and the like do little to convey the impression that
you are interested in anything more than draining your balls and going to sleep.
Try to think of something just a tad more subtle.
2. Entering a ref saying something like, "Are there any females in here" really
tips your hand. It tells people that you don't even have the patience to observe
the conversation and settle in and interact with folks. You are on a mission: you
want to wank to some naked babes, and you want it NOW.
3. Asking women questions like, "can you lower your cam?", "can we see more of you?",
or any question of that nature which involves directing and blatantly asking them
to show. Now keep in mind that this assumes you don't know the woman very well,
obviously two people can say the same exact thing to the same person, and it can
be taken differently. It is like if I asked my wife for oral sex, or if some guy
off the street asked her for the same thing. I mean, ARE YOU GETTING THIS??
YES, adult refs involve varying degrees of sexual activity. YES, most people who
frequent adult refs will enjoying showing, looking and playing. But for god's sake
guys, GET A FUCKING CLUE about your manners! I would suggest that if you make
the effort to get to know your refmates, and ease up on the one-track mind bullshit,
not only will you have more fun, but you will in fact, "see" much much more.
Hmmmm, ok let's see...what else pisses me off? hehe...ok...GEEKING
Geeking is the single most certain way to kill the community interactive nature of
a reflector. Geeking, for those of you who don't know what I mean, is chatting
privately to others on a ref. Now geeking does have it's place, but it is quite
overused today. Private messaging totally killed IRC. If you don't believe me,
just logon to any adult-oriented IRC channel and see how little chat actually occurs
in the public chat area. Geeking is not only annoying when done in excess, it
can be downright confusing to those who are having a hard enough time trying to
follow the multiple conversation threads that can occur in a reflector.
Geeking should be reserved for matters of a very private nature, or to make a complaint
to a refmon about someone who is bugging you. I mean, once again, GET A FUCKING CLUE
GUYS! To geek a woman as an approach to try to "catch a rap", or in some way
distinguish yourself from the others that are speaking is pretty much a waste of time
for two reasons: First of all, there are likely to be five or more guys doing the
exact same thing, saying pretty much the same stupid shit; secondly, my experience is
that the way to a woman's heart is through her funny bone...if you think that what you
have to say is SO witty, SO unique, and is SUCH an attention-getter as to distinguish
you from the unwashed masses, then shit dude, say it out in the open! When you are
entertaining to the entire reflector, not only does it build your stature in the mind
of your prospective playmate, but further when she sees other people laughing at your
stuff, it validates and reinforces her idea that she thought it was funny too.
So keep the geek to a minimum, hell, that's what icq is for. There is also ICUII and
netmeeting if you can't manage to type in a room full of people. No community
experience on there. Oh, by the way, did I mention that most people think those
two programs suck once they have experience CU?
Let me also say that I know in some ways I am speaking in generalities. Whenever a
person does that, there is an opportunity for someone to refute the position by
offering up examples of when a certain statement did not hold true. Of course I'm
keenly aware of the fact that some women loved to get geeked, loved to be asked to show,
love to be asked to DC, and don't give a rat's ass if you are funny or not as long as
you can show her a huge cock spraying unsuspecting tadpoles to their untimely demise
across your desktop. But consider this: how many times have you run into that situation,
versus how many times you have been in a ref where you read things like, "please stop the
private chat" , "I'll show if and when and what I want to", "My cam is fine where it is"
etc., etc...think about it.
I suppose what I am trying to say is that if you treat your refmates with the same respect
that you treat your offline friends and acquaintances, not only will you ultimately have
a more interesting CU experience, but you will reduce the tension level that makes some
refmons a bit too protective and "quick on the trigger" to boot or reprimand people.
Just give some of my ideas a try, guys. Do it before it is too late, and you drive all
of the quality women off of the refs. The job is halfway done now as it is.
Now let me address some of the realities which naturally result from the highly skewed
M to F ratio on the refs. I was once in a situation where I was on a ref and there
was this woman who was asking every guy to show. Once she did this, she made a comment
like, "Well I am not going to show you jack shit, now don't you feel (can't remember
if she said 'cheap' or 'stupid'), and proceeded to laugh her ass off. I firmly believe
that anyone has the right to decide whether to "show" or not, regardless of what have
others have done. Hey, let's face it, most of you guys are whipping your shit out in the
hopes of some kind of reciprocity. Well in my opinion that does not obligate a woman to
reciprocate. But what this woman did was horrible, because she was attempting to humiliate
her refmates for her own personal entertainment. Let me mention that I was not one of the
guys who showed for her, because I am a good judge of people, and I saw her game from a mile
down the road, and was not going to get sucked into it. So basically what I did was flamed
her like I have never flamed anyone before in my life. I condemned her for her actions
in no uncertain terms until she finally left the reflector. So guess what happened to me?
About a week later I went to a ref where she was well known and well liked by most. I was
told that I was not welcome there, and was banned. Well of course this was patently unfair
for two reasons: first, the event did not occur on that ref, and secondly, I was not
engaged in harassment. I was simply doing what probably should have been done to her
the very first time she engaged in that kind of abuse; told her what I thought of her.
Well of course it was misconstrued into me giving her shit for not showing, which was not
what I was doing. I was giving her shit for being an abusive jerk. It took several
emails and much explanation to key members of that reflector before my position was
understood, the ban was reversed, and life continued on. Of course over time, this same
woman, true to form, did similar shit in that ref. To this day, whenever this woman
sees me enter a ref she is in, she either lurks or changes her nick or freezes her vid.
"What is my point", you may ask? Well there are two points. The first is that if I had
not had a reputation established for being a respectful, contributing member of the CU
community, I would have had a far more difficult time having my explanation of events being
believed. The second is that women have the power on CU, get away with much more bullshit
in some cases, and you are fighting an uphill battle to ever have the guys take your side
in an issue. To that, I say, "big fucking deal", because keep in mind, a person only
has as much power over you as you give them. Although women basically have "the power"
because of the numbers, there are only a tiny percentage that exploit that fact for
some kind of self-serving power trip. So if you ever do fall prey to one of this tiny
minority of women on CU, keep in mind that it is as much your fault for being played
as it is her's for playing you. How can you avoid being played? Very simple, and it
ties in to so much of what I have said earlier (bet you were wondering if I was ever
going to tie this together hehe)
First of all, you relinquish so much personal power by BEGGING. Don't beg, its fucking
demeaning. Secondly, you should not come to CU with any expectations regarding sex
activities; this goes to keeping your one track mind in check. Whatever happens, happens.
What, you think women don't know you want them to get naked and play? Most people who
come to CU can deal with that. But they want to have fun and tell jokes and talk about
shit going on in the world and the like. Finally, if you show for a woman without her
asking, and think it is in some way going to obligate her to reciprocate, you are trolling
with no bait, dude. There are a surplus of guys out there, willing to show their package,
and women know that. They have the luxury of picking and choosing. Shit, as a refmon,
I have accidently seen more cock than any hetero guy should see in a goddamn lifetime!
May I also suggest that if you can't manage to keep your testosterone levels from affecting
your manners and respect for women, then just jerkoff BEFORE you come on CU. It will take
the edge off and make you act more normal perhaps.
So think about all this stuff, folks. CU will be more fun, entertaining, exciting and
erotic if you just take the time to be nice to people, stop thinking with your dick,
and keep the feelings of others in mind.
I guess this would be a good time to offer the following disclaimer:
I do not claim to be on any kind of moral high ground here. I do not claim that what I have
said here is irrefutable fact. I do think that it is possible for reasonable people
to disagree with some or all of what I have said. I am only offering my opinions and
observations gathered from over 5 years on CU. If you disagree with me, fine. If you
care to discuss your differences with me in an intelligent manner, great. But don't just
fucking flame me if you see me on a ref, because I am just going to filter you anyway.
I do this for fun. I did this writing for Lady Xeen because she asked me to. My hope
is to affect some changes on CU. But I am not trying to cast myself as some kind of
focal point or spokesperson for any group of people on CU.
Adios for now folks,
JokerX39
