You know you're dating someone Jewish when...
Your morning after is ruined because their mom calls...
...to ask why they're not in synagogue.
Those Woody Allen movies finally make sense.
His or her parents discuss birth control or gastrointestinal issues at the table.
"JAP" no longer means what you thought it meant.
Your date wraps up half a portion of rice at the restaurant.
You've never been nagged so much during sex.
You never hear the end of anything.
They use basic Yiddish in place of perfectly good English words.
You start inadvertently misusing Yiddish words in place of perfectly good English words.
You're a "WASP" now. You'd never thought of yourself as a "WASP," or any other particular acronym, but there you go.
You find yourself inadvertently quoting Annie Hall, Portnoy's Complaint or Shmuely Boteach when arguing with your SO.
You find yourself deliberately quoting Annie Hall, Portnoy's Complaint or Shmuely Boteach when arguing with your SO.
After suggesting sex, you have to wait in bed 45 minutes while your SO showers, clips their nails, brushes their teeth, flosses, uses Listerine and takes out their contact lenses.
You politely humor your SO when he or she proudly brings home their latest curbside acquisition.
One of the advantages of receiving oral sex is that your partner stops talking for a while.
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