| Part 11 ******************** Go to Part 12 ******************* "So exactly how bad is our room?" Marie asked once she'd settled into the guestroom. "Let me put it this way," Logan said. "Every time you walk on the carpet you hear a squishy sound and water flies up and hits you in the face." "Did you just say 'squishy'?" "Yeah, what about it?" She burst out laughing. "That's funny." "How is that funny? That's the sort of sound it makes. Squishy." Marie laughed harder. "Hey, this is serious, you know. The carpet might have to be replaced." "Why do you care? It isn't your money." "Good point." "Say it again." "Marie . . ." "Please?" "Squishy," Logan muttered under his breath. "You're so cute." "Glad you think so." "So how long will our carpet be squishy?" Marie asked, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a giggle. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?" "Not as long as I'm around." "So I guess I'll be hearing it for a while, since I certainly don't plan on making it so you're not around any time soon." "I should hope not!" Logan smiled at her. "So you like the word squishy, huh?" "It's so cute when you say it!" "You know, I don't think anyone but you has ever referred to me or anything I do as 'cute.'" "That's because with you, 'cute' is an understatement." Logan raised an eyebrow. "Understatement?" "Yep. Greek god-like gorgeous fits you a bit better." "Okay, now that's an overstatement." Marie shook her head. "Nope. You are the sexiest man I have ever seen." "Don't get out much?" She lightly hit him on the arm. "Logan . . ." Logan took her by the hands and lightly pulled. "C'mere." Marie smiled and let him pull her into his lap. She snuggled up against his chest. "I like it here," she said. "I like you bein' here." "So never stop holding me, okay." Logan hugged her to him tighter. "You got yourself a deal, Darlin'." * * * The next day Marie went alone up to the squishy-floored room to survey the damage and make sure Logan didn't forget anything she needed. She was only in there for a couple of moments when the telephone rang. She picked up the receiver. "Logan?" the voice at the other end of the line asked before Marie even had a chance to say hello. "No, this is Rogue. Who's calling?" "Can you get me Logan?" the strange woman asked. Marie noted that she had a very definite Asian accent, most likely Japanese. "He isn't here, but I can get him to call you back if you'll leave your name and number." "My name is Mariko Yashida, and Logan knows my number. Tell him he must call. It is urgent." There was a click and the other woman was gone. Marie hung up the phone. * * * Logan got home late that evening to find Marie waiting up for him. "Hey Baby," he said. He leaned over and tried to kiss her, but Marie moved away. "What's wrong?" "Who's Mariko Yashida?" All the color drained from Logan's face. "Where the hell did you hear about her?" "She called you earlier." "Did she say what she wanted?" "No. Just that it was urgent." "Dammit." He went over to the phone, practically pushing Marie out of the way to get to it. He dialed the numbed quickly and from memory. The ensuing conversation was in Japanese, which prevented Marie from understanding anything but the inflection in Logan's voice. That alone, however, was enough to make her sit on the edge of the bed and glare at the back of his head the whole time he was talking to Mariko. "I have to go," Logan said as soon as he hung up the phone. "What!?" Marie yelled, jumping up. "You can't go!" "I have to." "Where? For how long?" "I can't tell you." "No! Logan, you promised you wouldn't do this again." "I'm sorry. I didn't know at the time that something like this was going to happen." "So what, some woman calls and all the promises you made to me go out the window? What, am I just your girl at this port?" "Marie, dammit, you know you mean more to me than that! Now I don't have time for this shit right now, so don't pull it." "Logan, I don't think I'm the one acting irrationally here. You say you love me, that you want to be with me, and you won't ever leave me, then the next thing I know you're going off and you won't even tell me where to." "It's just better if you don't know where I am." "Can't you at least tell me how long you'll be gone?" "No." "You promised you wouldn't leave again." "Look, Darlin', I'm sorry I have to break my promise to you, but this is real important. Mari needs me to help her out." Mari . . . It sickened Marie how much like her own the name he called her was. "Well then go to Mari," she spat. "I don't give a damn anymore." "Marie, please don't. I need to know you're gonna be here for me when I get back." "When will that be?" "I don't know." "Can you answer me one question then?" "Maybe. What is it?" "Is she an old flame?" "Marie . . ." "Answer the fucking question Logan!" Marie yelled, suddenly so angry she was shaking. "Yes. I loved her once." "Great. Now I feel so much better about you leaving." "You asked, Marie." "You're an asshole." "I've never denied that." "Just get out. If you'd rather be with her than me, then fine, go. I don't care anymore." "Marie, it isn't that I want to be with her more than you! I love you! It's just I have to help her. I can't turn my back on her." "Why not? You've turned your back on me plenty of times." "Not when it really counted." "Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" "Marie, I don't have time for this. I have to be on the next plane outta Westchester." Logan went over to the closet and grabbed out a bag that was already packed, thanks to the disaster upstairs that had made him move all his stuff. "I won't be gone forever," Logan said. Marie was sitting back on the bed, her face hidden by her hands. Logan knew she was crying. He reached his hand out, almost touching her. "Marie . . ." "Go." "Marie, please." She looked up and ripped his dogtags from her neck, throwing them at his feet. "Get the hell out!" Logan gave her one last look before leaving. As soon as he was gone, Marie slumped from the bed to the floor. She grabbed the dogtags and clutched them tightly, crying the way she had years ago when Logan loving her had been nothing but a dream. * * * When Marie woke up alone the next morning, she found herself grateful that she wasn't in Logan's room. She wouldn't have been able to stand being alone with so many memories. She got ready for class almost mechanically. She couldn't believe this had happened to her again, that she'd let Logan in only to have him leave her the same way he had before. Marie sat down on the bed and tried to access any of Logan's memories that might have had something to do with Mariko. She couldn't find anything clear, but that really didn't surprise her. It had been so long since she had last absorbed him on the Statue of Liberty, and many of his memories had started to fade. Besides, Marie had no way of knowing when Logan had met Mariko. For all she knew, it could've been after he'd fallen in with the X-Men. But he had said he'd be coming back. And he hadn't said it was over between them or that he was going to be with Mariko. Marie picked his dogtags up from her pillow and put them back around her neck. She could cling to the hope that he would come home to her soon. Rogue tucked his dogtags into her shirt and walked out into the hall, ready to face her day with forced optimism. * * * Over the next couple of days, Rogue noticed that everyone around her seemed to be walking on eggshells every time they spoke to her. Logan and his current whereabouts was never the topic of conversation, and many people avoided having a very in depth discussion with her about anything at all. She knew that they thought Logan had left because of her, or that their relationship had ended and Rogue was broken hearted ,and she wasn't particularly in the mood to sit down and set them straight. Besides, she didn't even know where she stood with Logan. What if he fell back in love with Mariko Yashida and never came back at all? What if he came back only to tell Rogue it was over for good this time? Rogue found herself restless at night. She wanted them to be finished laying the new carpet in her room upstairs. The fear of being alone with Logan's memories had been replaced with the desire to be near anything that could keep her believing he'd come home to her. Logan had been gone a month, and he hadn't even called. That didn't really surprise Rogue. He'd never called before, and she hadn't expected that to change now. She'd moved back into their room, and she couldn't decide how being there made her feel. She decided to drown out the silence with background noise from the television or radio so she wouldn't have to think. Soon, almost all conversations had dwindled down to pity-filled looks, and Rogue felt as if she'd been reverted to the untouchable girl who'd arrived at the mansion so many years ago. Her friends never came around anymore; she ate all her meals alone. If it weren't for her classes, and Jean's continued understanding- which Rogue attributed to the fact that her powers allowed her to know what Rogue was truly feeling- she would've had almost no contact with other people at all. It was during the third month of solitude that Rogue realized she'd given everything away for Logan, and now she didn't even have him. It was then that the emptiness came. * * * "You should tell Rogue." "Kitty, I haven't talked to her in months, and this isn't exactly something you can just walk up to someone and say." "Sure it is. She has a right to know." "You tell her then." "No, Jubilee, you need to." "You've seen how Rogue's been acting ever since Wolverine left her high and dry- again. For all I know, she wants him back and she'll flip out on me when I tell her." Rogue stopped short when she heard the conversation between Kitty and Jubilee. She knew she shouldn't be listening since it was obviously not something she was meant to hear, but she couldn't bring herself to walk away either. "She probably should. You basically killed the friendship over a choice she made that really wasn't any of your business and then hooked up with her ex and didn't even bother to tell her. Wait, make that not only kept from telling her, but actively worked to hide it from her as well." "My ex?," Rogue thought. "Jubilee and Bobby?! Well, I guess I should've known that was a possibility after the way she reacted to me hurting him." "You're one to talk, Kit. When's the last time you sat down and shared some quality time with Rogue?" "We're not talking about me here. Besides, you have to admit that Rogue hasn't been the easiest person to get close to these days. She's been so distant." "Yeah, because being close to anyone has meant being surrounded by pity loosely veiled by 'friendly' smiles, and you've been the queen of it. Anyone would distance themselves from that, Katherine." "Yeah, probably because she's gone back to her old routine of sitting around and pining for Logan as if getting him- and keeping him- is actually an obtainable goal for her. You'd think she would've grown up by now," Jubilee said. "And talking about people behind their backs and sneaking around with a guy are two incredibly mature behaviors," Rogue thought sardonically. "Don't be so harsh on her, Jubilee," Kitty said. "Look at her situation. She has the perfect relationship with Bobby, one based on real love, but she makes the mistake of throwing it all away for the physical attraction she has with Logan. She confuses lust for love, but Logan- of course- knows the truth. He gets what he wants from her, gets bored, and then leaves her alone and brokenhearted. Once the dust settles, and she starts to see things clearly again, Rogue realizes that she's lost the love of her life and her best chance at happiness. How else could you expect her to react?" Rogue gaped in shock at Kitty's words. "Is that really what they think?" "Yeah, I know. It's just hard to put up with her and her fantasy world sometimes." Rogue had heard enough. She stormed into the room, glaring at her two supposed friends. "I can't believe y'all!" she yelled. "I'm the one living in a fantasy world? From what I just heard it sounds like the two of you are the delusional ones here. For one thing, I don't want Bobby back in any way, shape, or form. That relationship was never meant to be. Jubilee, if you can give him something I never could, then great, I'm happy for the both of you. "And as far as Logan is concerned, we're not broken up. He had something he had to take care of and he left. Yes, when he left we were arguing and things aren't exactly the best they've ever been between us right now, but it's nothing bad enough to throw me into the depths of despair as everyone seems to think. And if you people think that Logan and I aren't sincerely in love, then fine. You're wrong, and I thought that people who once called me their best friend would know me better than that, but apparently that isn't the case. "And as of now, I don't particularly care what you think about how what I feel for Logan, Bobby, or anyone else for that matter. You can take your opinion of me and my love life and shove it. I'm an adult, in a relationship with another adult and that's no one's business but mine and Logan's. If you want to sit here and pick apart everything in my life and put intentions that I've never even taken into consideration on my every action, then fine, go right ahead. Ever since Logan left everyone's been deciding how I feel, keeping away from me because of it, and then dubbing me closed-off and emotionally unstable. Well, that's just fine. I don't give a damn about any of you anymore." Rogue walked away, leaving both Kitty and Jubilee dumbfounded. |