Author: Lady Starblade -- [email protected]
Rating: PG
Pairing: Surprise
Category: Humor, a twist of Parody & NDP (No Discernable Plot)
Spoilers: None
Warnings: General Insanity and Unreality
Archive: EntSlash, and anyone else who wants it. Just let me know where. (although I'd have to wonder why? <g>)
Feedback: Yes, please. <Bambi eyes>
Disclaimer: Oh, how I would love to own them all, but alas, I do not. Paramount owns all, and I make no money whatsoever.
Author's Note: I wrote this in two hours during class (kinda tells you how interesting class was today, huh?) based off of the "Trip Fans Rejoice" thread regarding the upcoming ep "Precious Cargo". Completely off the cuff, outta left field and unbetaed; just had to get it out of my system before I get back to angsty action.
Summary: Trip finds a beautiful woman on board a ship.
**
Trip tripped. He was so busy examining the intricate machinery running along the ceiling that he wasn't watching his feet. One of them got hooked on something and he fell wildly forward. He managed to break his fall and roll somewhat. Feeling the impact rattle his teeth, Trip let out a string of words that would've earned him a lot of trouble from Mama.
Having fallen next to a wall, Trip used several nooks in the wall to pull himself back up. Once he was upright, he found himself face to face with....something.
"What the hell?" Trip took a step back as he recognized an unmoving humanoid shape behind a clear, frosted panel. A control board blinked lazily on the wall next to it, and as he looked at it, a large red light started flashing faster and faster. Then a loud chime sounded, accompanied by a click, and the panel suddenly swung outward.
Trip skittered backward as a white cloud billowed out, and he frantically pawed for his phase pistol. He was beginning to think about a hasty retreat to the shuttlepod, but he waited to see what emerged from the smoke.
His eyes almost bugged out of his head as a lithe young woman, dressed in very little, walked forward and took in her surroundings. She saw him and smiled widely. Trip was briefly reminded of Phlox's creepy ear-to-ear grin. She began to saunter towards him, hips swaying. She looked very human, spun-gold hair spilling in waves around her shoulders, down her back, and to her waist. The mane framed a heart shaped face dominated by large, shimmering blue-violet eyes fringed with full, dark lashes. Her body was perfectly shaped and toned, and she moved with an unconscious grace.
"Hello, wanderer," she said in a throaty soprano. "My name is Alexia Brightstar, and I wish to thank you for freeing me."
"Uhh..." Trip's mouth had gone dry and he was having a hard time thinking coherently. "Freeing you?," he managed to ask.
"Freeing me from my imprisonment." She gestured with a long-fingered hand back toward the panel, then fixed him with a smoky gaze. She had stopped less than a foot away.
The communicator in Trip's sleeve pouch beeped, and Trip went for it so quickly he almost snapped the zipper. "Tucker here."
"Trip, T'Pol just picked up a second bio-sign." Captain Archer's voice came through the device with a note of worry.
"No kiddin', Captain. It's right in front of me."
"Are you in any danger? Is it friendly?"
Before Trip could answer, Alexia purred, "There are many ways I can thank you, for I am well trained in the arts of pleasure."
Trip could feel his ears go red at the shocked silence coming through the communicator. "Well, that answers that question." He could hear the barely-repressed amusement in Archer's voice.
Alexia came closer and threw her arms around Trip's neck as she pressed her ample bustline to his chest. "Uhh, Captain?" Trip couldn't keep the desperate note out of his voice. "We've gotta have someone over there better suited for first contact than me."
In a cooing tone, Alexia said, "Contact? I enjoy contact."
"I'm sure," Archer's voice cracked slightly, then continued. "I'm sure you can handle the situation, Commander."
Trip cast his eyes back to the ceiling he had been so interested in earlier. *Why me?*
**
Trip climbed out of the shuttlepod and clambered up the launch bay ladder. At the top, he promptly found himself one-on-one with Jonathan Archer.
"Hello, Trip. Find anything interesting on board?" A smile kept pulling at the corners of his mouth.
Trip's nostrils flared as he clenched his jaw and shook his head.
"Oh, that's too bad. I had heard some interesting information."
Quickly sidestepping his captain, Trip made for the corridor. He was out and halfway to the turbolift before Archer caught up with him. Archer didn't say anything as they waited for the lift, just continued to watch Trip squirm under his gaze. The lift arrived, the men boarded, and the door closed. The lift had only moved a few feet before Archer reached over and hit the stop switch.
Trip was about to ask why, but was cut off as he was pulled into an embrace and thoroughly kissed. After a few seconds of surprise, he eagerly responded. A good two minutes later, when both men had to come up for air, Trip looked into Jon's eyes and asked, "What was that for?"
Jon smiled at the man in his arms. "I've been wanting to do that since I heard you panicking while being, um, enthusiastically pursued?"
Eyebrows going up, Trip protested, "Hey, you shoulda seen it from my end! She was all over me like, like..." His brow furrowed as he tried to think of a proper analogy. "Like Phlox's bat over toenail clippings!"
Jon made a face. Ever since he had told his lover about the night in sickbay with a grooming Phlox, Trip seemed to delight in bringing up the topic as often as possible. "I get the point. But it was pretty funny."
Trip's eyes narrowed. "Who all heard that, anyway?"
"Oh, just me." Trip stared at him. "And Hoshi, and T'Pol, and Travis, and Malcolm."
Trip groaned and rested his forehead on Jon's shoulder.
"Oh, and there were about three other crewmen on the bridge at the time, so I'm pretty sure the whole ship knows. Well, maybe not Porthos. I haven't told him yet."
Trip groaned again, even louder.
"It's okay, Trip, I'm sure they'll only be laughing about it for a year or so."
Trip began to lightly bang his head against the shoulder.
Jon finally decided to show mercy. Curling his fingers around Trip's chin, he lifted the other man's face back up. "I can't blame her. If I came out of hibernation and saw you standing there, I might have reacted the same way."
"Yeah, but she was prettier." Trip's blue eyes sparkled with laughter.
"You are going to pay for that one, Mr. Tucker." Jon growled gently and leaned in for another kiss.
**
Meanwhile, on C-Deck, Travis and Hoshi stood by the turbolift door.
"What is taking this thing so long?" Hoshi mumbled.
Travis just shrugged.
END