Author: Lady Starblade -- [email protected]
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Tu/R
Category: Drama/Angst/Romance
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None, really
Archive: Entslash; Anyone else, if ya want it, take it. Just let me know where.
Feedback: Yes, please. <Bambi eyes>
Disclaimer: Oh, how I would love to own them all, but alas, I do not. Paramount owns all, and I make no money whatsoever.
Author's Note: Sequel to "Realization." This is the last part in this particular line of stories. Guess what? I finished it! Finally! Now the question becomes, does anyone remember the first three? I'm still not sure about this part, but hey, I'm sick of picking at it (and getting questions in my inbox; you know who you are <g>). I can't remember who made the reference to Trip missing the "clue train," but I just had to incorporate it.
Summary: "Oh great, so I've got my best friend and his trusty little fuzzball against me."
**
"Commander?"
Kelly's voice startled Trip out of his reverie. He jumped and guiltily looked up at the junior engineer. "Huh?" He blinked rapidly, hoping he didn't look as idiotic as he felt.
The other woman's gaze became worried as she narrowed her eyes.
Trip digested the question and smiled. "Yeah, sorry Kelly. Drifted off again, huh?"
"You've been staring at that readout for the past fifteen minutes, sir."
Trip shook his head at the sound of the word 'read.' "Well, it's an important readout."
"Not that important." Kelly looked uncertain for a moment, then continued. "Are you all right, sir?"
"Am I all right? Yeah." Trip responded with a shrug. "Just gettin' back into the swing of things."
The look on Kelly's face was skeptical, but she nodded. "See you next shift, sir." As she turned to leave Engineering, Trip's eyes went to the chronometer blinking at the corner of the readout screen. Shift was already over? He rubbed a hand over his face. Everything was running in tiptop shape; there really wasn't any reason to stay in Engineering any longer. But he knew he didn't want to go back to his quarters. He didn't want to think.
*I love you, Trip.* The words swirled in Trip's head as he made his way into the corridor. It had been five days, and Malcolm's voice continued to ricochet around Trip's skull, seemingly haunting him every moment he wasn't actively engaged. Reaching the lift and pressing the call control, he began to shift from foot to foot as he began to run the duty rosters for Engineering through his head.
The doors whooshed open, and Trip was immediately greeted with a happily yipping beagle. Porthos wound his way around Trip's ankles as he boarded the lift, and he avoided tripping over the dog only by experience. After bestowing a quick head pat, Trip acknowledged the dog's escort. "Evening, Cap'n."
"Trip. How are you doing?"
Trip gave a half-shrug. "Doin' fine. Dr. Phlox wants to haul me 'n Mal in for a last checkup tomorrow morning." Too late he realized the informal way he had referred to Malcolm. Inwardly wincing, he glanced over to see the captain's reaction. He was not reassured by the slightly sly look on Archer's face. He had seen that look before. It usually meant Archer knew something Trip didn't.
"That's good to hear. So what's eating at you so badly?"
"Huh?
"Trip, I can tell when you're moping. And you've been moping ever since you got back from your little away mission."
"It's nothin' really."
Archer let out a long-suffering sigh. "Trip, when are you going to figure out that you are lousy at lying about your feelings?" He exited the lift on B-Deck in mid-sentence, forcing Trip to exit as well.
"Who says I'm lyin' about anything?" Even Trip could hear the surly note in his voice. Archer just fixed him with a faintly disapproving stare, the one that made Trip want to squirm out of his skin every time he was subjected to it.
Giving up, Trip tossed his hands into the air as he lengthened his stride, pulling ahead of Archer. "When we thought we were dead down there, Malcolm told me he loved me and now I don't know what to think. There, happy?"
At the fork in the corridor, Trip started to head down the hall towards his quarters when he realized Archer wasn't beside him anymore. Halting, he turned slightly to see the other man standing at the junction. Porthos looked back and forth between them, then sat down.
"Well, I didn't know that. So what's to think about? I do know that you love him."
Trip's mouth fell open, but no sound came out. The denial stuck in his throat.
Archer chuckled softly. "What, did you think I wouldn't notice? I've known you for too long. And I have never seen you fall this hard. You went back into hell to save him, and that says more than any of your excuses."
"He's my friend...." Archer cut off Trip protest with a sharp tone.
"I bet you've been thinking of him as more than a friend for a while now. And you need to stop confusing and second-guessing yourself." With a shake of his head, he added, "Maybe you and Malcolm are more alike than you think. You both certainly dither around enough."
Trip's forehead wrinkled. "Dither?"
Archer smiled. "My new word for the day."
Trip opened his mouth to answer, then promptly shut it when he couldn't think of anything to say.
"Trip, remember when you told me to let you know when you needed to get on the clue train?"
Trip nodded mutely.
"All aboard." With that, Archer spun his friend around to face the other corridor and gave him a little push. He then planted his feet and crossed his arms, blocking Trip's retreat.
"You ain't gonna let me get away from this, are ya?"
Archer raised a finger. "Damn right. I'm not going to let you run away from something I know you want.." Porthos barked once as if in agreement, drawing a look of betrayal from Trip.
"Oh great, so I've got my best friend and his trusty little fuzzball against me."
"I think even Malcolm would roll up against those odds."
Trip snorted and took off down the indicated hall before he lost his nerve. Walking quickly, he rounded the corner and almost ran into Travis Mayweather. Backpedaling, Trip yelped, "Sorry!"
Travis had taken a retreating step or two before recovering himself. "Hi Trip. Finally going to see Malcolm?"
"Yeesss..." Trip drawled out the word at the ensign's too-cheerful demeanor.
"Outstanding! I won't keep you." With a huge grin, Travis continued down the hallway.
With the distinct feeling he was getting set up, Trip arrived at Malcolm's door. He stared at the blank wall, hand halting halfway to the call panel. Did he really want to know? Could he really do this?
The final decision was taken out of his hands when the door opened and he was suddenly face to face with Malcolm. The younger man started with surprise. Catching himself quickly, Malcolm said, "Good evening, Commander."
Something inside Trip cringed at the formal title. Forcing cheerfulness and confidence into his voice, he replied, "Hi, Malcolm. Thought I'd come by and check up on ya."
"That's good of you."
They stood in an uncomfortable silence, neither sure how to continue. Finally, Malcolm stepped back. "Won't you come in?"
Trip slowly nodded and stepped past Malcolm into the typically neat quarters. Without comment, Malcolm closed the door, crossed the room, and perched on the edge of the bed. After a brief scan of the room, Trip took the solitary chair.
"I trust you are well?" Trip nodded again, and Malcolm nodded in turn. They must look, Trip thought absurdly, like puppets or something. The silence descended again.
Drawing in a deep breath, Trip plunged forward, breaking the quiet. "What you said in the compound..." He looked up into the other man's eyes, and was met only by an expressionless gray. "Did you mean what you said?"
The silence spun out painfully, and Trip felt his heart plummet. This had been a mistake...
Then Malcolm Reed laughed. Not the soft chuckle or sardonic bark that Trip was used to, but a rolling guffaw that engulfed Trip, that flowed around him and set the very air to sparkling. Trip had never heard anything like it before, and it gave him a heady feeling he couldn't quite name.
When Malcolm's eyes opened again, they were still gray, but shot through with sparks of gold and green. It was as if something bright and beautiful had exploded behind them.
"I've never been so certain in my life." He punctuated his statement by grabbing a handful of uniform and hauling Trip forward until bare inches separated their faces. "Is that all you were worried about?" Before Trip could answer, Malcolm's mouth was on his.
Now Trip Tucker had kissed and been kissed countless times. His mother, various girlfriends, even a handful of aliens. Hell, he had even kissed Jonathan Archer during a particularly intoxicated night on the town. But never had a kiss made him feel like he had grabbed a power coupling with his bare hands, sending tingles shooting through him.
Far too soon, Malcolm broke contact and leaned away, leaving Trip incapable of coherent thought. Stunned, he sat staring into the other man's eyes, still trying to assimilate what had just happened. For the life of him, Trip couldn't think of a way to react. That is, until he saw Malcolm's eyes cloud over with fear and uncertainty as his hand fell away.
In a husky voice, Trip said, "I've got one question. How are you feeling?"
Malcolm's face contracted into a confused expression. "Just fine...."
"Good." With a move that surprised even him, Trip sprung forward and gently pinned Malcolm back onto the bed.
**
They started laughing as soon as the door to Trip's quarters slid shut. "'In fine physical condition,' indeed! I don't think I've ever been so amused in Sickbay before." Malcolm leaned against the console as he tried to regain control. Phlox's comments at their morning physical had given both Trip and Malcolm no end of merriment. Trip took up a position at the other end of the console, perching on the lone corner not covered with a clutter of data padds.
"Yeah, your ears started to go all red at that."
"I wonder what he would've said if we had told him we had ascertained that for ourselves?" Malcolm mused.
"He woulda been mad we hadn't invited him to watch." Trip rubbed the back of his head for a moment. "We coulda brought him in, given him some popcorn or something...." Malcolm favored him with such an apprehensive look it sent Trip off in another spate of laughter.
After ascertaining Trip was only kidding, Malcolm pulled himself back together. "We took our own sweet time getting to that point, didn't we? I'm starting to think that if Travis hadn't talked some sense into me..."
Trip snorted. "With me, it was the captain and Porthos. I think they were about ready ta chase me down to your quarters if I didn't go myself."
"We seem to be surrounded by matchmakers. Although I will admit I'm grateful for them. I think we were both in a bit of denial."
Bobbing his head in agreement, Trip remarked. "We were dithering, weren't we?"
"Dithering? The only person I've ever heard use that word is my grandmother."
Trip thought about trying to explain, then thought better of it. "Never mind."
"I never mind anything you do. Except when you attempt to get yourself killed or something equally ridiculous."
"Hey, it's not like I try or anything." Trip reached out and feathered a touch along Malcolm's jaw. In a quiet tone, he continued, "I haven't told you, have I? You told me, but I haven't told you."
Cocking his head slightly into Trip's touch, Malcolm replied, "Told me what?"
Capturing his lover's gaze, Trip said, "I love you, Malcolm."
Malcolm turned to kiss Trip's fingers, then smiled. "And I love you, Trip."
They moved towards each other simultaneously, meeting and wrapping around each other. There was no doubt, no fear, no questions now.
Only certainty.
END