1/09/2003
Why does every man I fall in love with betray and abandon me?
Am I truly so awful, so wretched?
You promised me you would never leave me,
no matter what.
Now, you are gone... never to return.
You lied to me, and that's the worse thing,
you could have ever done.
I trusted you, believed you cared,
Only to be led astray by your smooth talking and devious ways.
Why am I so naive? To think I could have trusted you?
But no, you abandon me like all the others.
I never thought that you would, I always thought
we would at least be friends.
But you have abandoned me,
I know I made mistakes, we all do.
I apologized and truly regretted that I messed up,
But you can't even find it in your heart to forgive me.
I forgave you for your betrayal. Why can't you forgive me
for my mistake?
God forgives all, but you aren't God, and I know that.
My pain runs deep into my soul, deeper than the oceans.
I know that with time and love I will heal, but the sense of abandonment shall never fade... and shall plague the deepest depths of my soul for all eternity.
Black Skies
6/01/2004
Why am I like this?
Why can't I just be normal?
Why am I so angry?
Why am I so depressed?
I don't want to be like this.
I just want it all to end!
Why can't I let go of this anger, of this pain?
No one understands, they think I'm crazy,
Or I am just being dramatic.
But they don't know what its like to be either
Extremely happy, extremely angry, or extremely depressed
all the time.
There is no happy medium.
There is no norm.
Just a violent swing of emotions is what I have to live with.
They tell me to control it but I can't.
I just wish someone would understand.
I'm just so sick of feeling this way.
