5/7/01
I long for his warm, loving arms around me, holding me close,
keeping me safe from danger.
I long for his tender, sweet lips to brush against mine once again.
But i know that his love for me has to wait, we are only friends for now.
I long to have my hand wrapped up in his, if even for one second.
I long for his passionate touch, one I fear will not come again for an eternity.
For my dearest love, lives so far away, and so friends we must stay.
A las! My sorrow runs deep into my soul.
May I never feel the joy of his passionate love again?
My soul longs for his presence, longs for his love with a burning desire.
My heart is in utter longing for my lost love.
He is the only one with whom I belong.
I realize our time together, even as friends is growing short.
I find myself wondering, "how am I ever going to live without him?"
I know in my heart i cannot, but I must try for the chance that
he may come back and love me again, someday.
I am
2/07/01
I am a friendly lonely lover.
I wonder if I am going to become important to someone special that i can call my own.
I hear no wedding bells in my future, only the silence of loneliness.
I see the beautiful white house with the white picket fence, and the crystal blue lake behind the house, this is my dream, one i fear may not come true.
I want to become important, to be loved by someone special.
I am a friendly lonely lover.
I pretend that my guy friends love me, to make myself feel not as lonely.
I feel lonely and abandoned by love and all its remnants.
I touch my friend with a hug and i dont feel so alone.
I worry that I may never meet anyone, that i will never find love.
I cry when i think about how much i want to be loved, but that i may never find the love i seek.
i am a friendly, lonely lover.
I understand that i am young yet, but i am still worried
I say love is the best thing that you could ever find, give or receive.
I dream about the wonderful man that i am going to meet and marry someday.
I try not to be so lonely, i try to tell myself that i ll meet him someday, but still it is hard.
I hope that someday soon i will meet that special someone and fall in love.
I am a friendly lonely lover.
My colors
april 2001
When i am at school with my friends or at youth group
I am like a warm fuzzy gray.
a great listener and consoler
dependable and reliable
an attentive, friendly, respectful student
but at home i am like a jet black
devilish, disobedient, disrespectful
a cruel sister
a nightmare for a daughter
as different as these colors are,
i am truely both.
