"Mrs. Matrix?" asked the binome nervously, but slowly.

She looked down. "Hmmm..? Oh, sorry. Nice place you got here."

"Thanks," he said. "It's Al's. I just work here." The binome turned around. "Right, Al?"

"What?" came the confused reply.

"The tear's in the kitchen, Mrs. Matrix." The binome explained at a leisurely pace.

"You guys can call me Data," the guardian said. "It's cool."

"What?" asked Al.

The light from the tear pulsated erratically, bouncing off of the walls of the kitchen and bouncing onto Data's face.

Brushing her golden hair out of her eyes, she aimed her trusty keytool at the disruption.

"Dirk, mend!"

Dirk uttered a few twittering noises.

"Ah, it wasn't that hard, Dirk. We've had worse before. Remember that one in Sector G-Prime, what was it, about ten minutes ago?"

Dirk agreed.

"Right. Set up a comlink to the Principle Office."

Dirk complied, and the System Administrator's face appeared on the output screen in microseconds.

"Phong, Sector 31 is clear. All the tears from the last game are mended."

"Excellent, my child." Phong clicked his digits together. "Please report to the Principle Office. An upgrade is expected within the next few seconds."

"Right, Phong." Data checked the time. "I'll be there in five nanos."

The guardian disconnected the link, then exited the kitchen. She saw the binomes who ran the diner sitting at the bar.

"Kitchen's clear, guys. You can get back to work."

Al's waiter moved somewhat slowly back behind the bar. "You want anything, Guardian? It'll be on the house," he said languidly.

"I could use an energy shake to go."

"Al, one energy shake!"

"What?" came the laconic answer.

"It'll be awhile," the waiter sluggishly clarified.

"Never mind, I've gotta go." Data started for the exit.

"Wait!" The waiter tediously walked towards Data, carrying a cup in his hand. "You can have this one. It was gonna be mine, but you can take it." Data accepted the cup. "Thanks, Guardian."

"You're welcome. I'll come back sometime when you don't need a tear mended." Data raised her voice. "Bye, Al!"

"What?" Data smiled and left the restaurant.

As she flew on her zipboard toward the Principle Office, Data reflected on how the twin cities of Mainframe had become her home. When she had been sent here from the Supercomputer, she had originally been dismayed: Mainframe was such a small system compared to those she had seen. She had also been rather disappointed that she would be the only full Guardian there, as Mainframe was not large enough to rate more than one.

However, her misgivings had quickly been put to rest. Data found she enjoyed the rapport that the citizens of Mainframe had with one another. As the system Guardian, she enjoyed a deal of popularity. And there was her husband. A handsome, large green sprite, Zone Matrix was the System Administrator's top aide---third in command behind Number One and Phong. He was one of the most inventive and resourceful sprites she had ever met.

Data waved to him as she saw him standing on the pinnacle of the Principle Office. She quickly descended to the topmost part of the heart of Mainframe.

She gave Zone a peck on his green cheek and went to Phong.

"What's the upgrade going to be?"

"I do not know, Guardian. I hope it will be an addition to our viral protocols." Phong paused and looked upward. "The User knows what is best for us all, my child."

"Hmmm. If you say so, Ph---"

ATTENTION: INCOMING UPGRADE
ATTENTION: INCOMING UPGRADE

Mainframe's sky shifted to a golden color, the center forming a vortex, which admitted the upgrade. Data took a sip of her energy shake. The large cannister slowly made its drop from above, landing finally on the Pinnacle.

"Excellent." Phong inspected the upgrade, making sure that all was as it should, then ordered, "Pinnacle, descend!"

While the platform traveled down towards Mainframe's core, Data shot a glance and her husband and saw Zone looking at the upgrade with a great deal of excitement. Sometimes he was a great deal like a child.

As the Pinnacle stopped its descent, Phong unlatched the locks which held the upgrade in the cannister. Zone, meanwhile, was making sure the system was prepared.

"Attention all citizens," Zone said as he worked the controls, "prepare for power-down and upgrade! Repeat: prepare for power-down and upgrade."

When the power-down was complete, Zone gave a quick nod to the System Administrator, who lifted the lid of the canister off with a great deal of difficulty.

"These lids get heavier each time, my children," Phong said, "I foresee a day in the future when I may not be able to lift them at all!"

"I doubt that, Phong," Data said.

The upgrade rose out of the cannister which had retained it. Phong grasped it with his digits, and inserted it into the Core.

"Upgrade, begin!" he shouted.

Mainframe shook with the metamorphosing power of the upgrade. Waves of muted energy flowed from the Core, changing the very face of Mainframe with its power. Data held on to the railing of the Pinnacle, noting the Phong and her husband were doing the same.

Abruptly, the quaking stopped. Data let go of the railing, her feet still unstable. "Zone!" she cried. "You alright?"

"That was one hell of an upgrade," Zone said as he got up from the floor.

"You look even better, my dear."

It was then that Data noticed that his face had changed. It still looked basically the same---his skin was still green, his hair, still black---but something had changed.

"High-res! Everything looks so much clearer!" The Guardian turned to Phong.

"Indeed. The User must have upgraded our processing speed."

"Alphanumeric!" Data exclaimed.

"This is great!" Zone said with a stupefied grin on his face. This was the same grin that, hours later, a certain game sprite would find so captivating in his son. Zone shook of his sense of wonder and restored power to the system.

"Let's take a look at the Twin Cities, Phong."

"Very well---Pinnacle, ascend!!" As Phong shouted the platform returned to the spot it had been when Data landed.

The Twin Cities looked even more beautiful than they had just nanoseconds previous. Data caught her breath as she noticed the minute detail that had not been present before the upgrade had been installed.

"Wow!" Zone whispered as he viewed the progress.

"This is most fortuitous," Phong said. "The quality of life for all citizens of Mainframe will be much improved."

WARNING: INCOMING GAME
WARNING: INCOMING GAME

"Looks like the User's ready to test out the new upgrade." Data readied her zipboard and mounted it. "You coming, love?" She sped off before her husband had a chance to respond.

Zone looked at Phong questioningly.

"Go with her, my son," he ordered. "It will land in Sector G-2, in Zero City."

Zone activated his own zipboard and flew after his wife.

"Ze upgrade is complete, mein fuhrer," said Herr Doktor as he surveyed his controls.

"Ooooo, how exciting!" Dekabyte said. The virus shook the tassels of his comb back and forth with his hysteric laughter. This minute, he was dressed in a frilly sky-blue cravat, which contrasted sharply with his red-iron body. Dekabyte held his hands out in front of him. "And what an upgrade! Look at me, Herr Doktor!"

"Ja, you look splendid, but how can ve take advantage of this, master Dekabyte?"

How indeed? The virus attempted to formulate a plan, but his chaotic nature interfered. His train of thought was interrupted by the system voice's announcement:

WARNING: INCOMING GAME
WARNING: INCOMING GAME

"Hmmmm..." thought Dekabyte, drumming his red-iron fingers on the control console.

"Mein liege!" Herr Doktor shouted. "Ze game will keep the Guardian busy, nein?"

"Right!" agreed Dekabyte, continuing the train of thought as best he could, "And I can...go attack the Principle Office while they're busy and infect it! Good plan, huh?" The virus extended his claws for emphasis.

"Actually, mein liege...." the infected binome began.

"Yes?" Dekabyte hissed, grabbing Herr Doktor's hand and lifting the binome up to his painted face. His tone dared Herr Doktor to correct him.

"Ahhh....your plan vould be even better if you took all our forces vith you, ja?" he finished nervously.

"Ja---I mean, yeah!" Dekabyte agreed, flinging Herr Doktor against the wall with a loud CLANG. "Take care of it at once!" And with that, Dekabyte left the room to find his best-looking combat outfit, cackling all the while.

"Mein digits!" Herr Doktor moaned, cradling his hand.

After the game cube had landed, Data found herself in what seemed to be a crudely-drawn forest environment.

"Not guerrilla warfare AGAIN," she complained. "I don't think I can take it!"

"Data!" a voice screamed from behind her.

Data whirled around, her keytool at the ready.

"Dirk! Energy...oh, never mind. I didn't know if you were coming, lover."

Zone rose from his crouch, a position he had adopted when it appeared his wife was going to zap his circuits out. "Nothing personal, then?"

"Right. Dirk! Game stats!"

Data frowned as she read the layout of the game she and her husband had joined. "Dirk says the User is some kind of gluttonous bear who wants to steal all of the picnic baskets in this forest. We're supposed to keep him from that by any means possible. He's already on the last level."

Zone nodded and tapped his icon twice. "Reboot." Data did the same.

When the reboot had finished, Zone was no longer a large, green sprite, but a short, mustachioed man in a hunter's outfit, carrying a long gun of some sort. "Unusual," he remarked.

Data looked down at herself. Her Guardian's uniform had been replaced by a forest green one, and her icon now proudly stated "Park Ranger" on it. Her keytool was still present on her arm, though her usual gray skin tone was now a pasty white.

"Now, let's find that bear," she said determinedly.

Fortunately, the User was not far off from their current position, as the loud, "Aha-ee-ee-ee," the two sprites heard revealed.

Data and Zone peered out from the bushes in front of them, and saw a large brown bear with a green hat and tie, followed by a smaller bear with a purple bow tie.

"Ah, hey Boo-boo, I'm a-gonna steal the pick-a-nic bas-KETS!" the large bear said.

"You shouldn't do it, Yogi," the little bear warned. "The Ranger'll get mad."

Data, remembering that her icon now clearly indicated she was a ranger, stepped out of the bushes. "Not so fast, Yogi. I've got you now."

"Duuhh--It's the Ranger!" the bear exclaimed, running around in circles.

"Don't move!" Data cried, hurling herself at the bear in an attempt to tackle him. Unfortunately, the bear continued running around, and she missed, landing quite solidly on the ground.

"I've got him, hon," Zone said, jumping out of the bushes and aiming his gun at the bear.

Just then Data realized the inadvisability of shooting a gun at such a wildly moving target. She tried to stop her husband, but as she heard the shot fire she knew it was too late. She was about to be deleted by her own husband. She felt the impact of the charge against her chest and fell back to the ground. The two bears rapidly escaped.

"Data!" Zone screamed.

Data coughed and sat up. Her body was covered in gunpowder, her clothes torn in some places. She seemed to be relatively sound. "I guess guns can't kill you in this game. I'd almost rather have guerrilla warfare."

"User, I thought you were dead!" Zone said, and kissed her fiercely. Then, realizing she was now a pasty-faced man, he drew back. "Uhhh..." he fumbled.

"Don't worry," Data said with a wink, "I won't tell anyone." Data looked at her keytool. "Dirk, layout!"

Dirk showed that the bear was now heading towards the picnic basket in the northwest section of the woods.

"Okay," she told her husband, "There are three picnic baskets left in the game: two in the south and one in the northwest. Here's what we're gonna do..."

While the Guardian and her husband were engrossed in the game, the viral invasion was quickly beginning. Herr Doktor had wasted no time in mobilizing Dekabyte's forces, and the virus's army was ready to invade the heart of Prime City.

Dekabyte himself was leading them out of Lost Angles and into Prime City. The virus was resplendently dressed in black combat clothes, overlaid by a trenchcoat of the same color. He wore black sunglasses over his painted face, straight out of...something he'd seen somewhere before. He couldn't quite remember where, but it was no matter.

"Let's go, boys!" The virus giggled. "The Principle Office awaits!"

Meanwhile, in the game cube, Data had laid a trap for the User. Having already collected the picnic basket in the northwest section of the forest, the User was now turning towards the remaining two. Data and Zone had abandoned one, remaining only to guard the last, near the parking lot area of the park. Data had remained near the basket, while Zone had stayed about thirty yards in front of her, for early warning if the User passed by.

Data was getting apprehensive. "Dirk, layout!" she commanded. The map that appeared on Dirk's output screen indicated that the User was right on top of her.

"Zone!" she yelled, jumping out of hiding and standing directly in front of the basket.

She saw Zone, still the small hunter, running toward her. She heard a rustling sound above her, unsure of what it was. A brown blur shot down, snatched the picnic basket, then shot back up into the tree. Data heard a "Hey, hey, hey, I've got all the pick-a-nic baskets today!"

"NOOOOOO!!!!" Zone screamed and fired two shots into the tree.

"It's not over yet. He still has to get to the end of the level."

Data said. "Dirk, zipboard!" Her keytool formed itself into a zipboard for her use. Grabbing Zone by the arms, she flew off towards the bear cave, which Dirk had shown her earlier.

Dekabyte was having a great time. He had been randomly shooting energy bursts into the streets of Mainframe. The virus really enjoyed hearing the screams of the people who were unfortunate enough to get in the way of them.

A vidwindow popped up in front of him.

"Sir! The fat binome stands alone," an infected binome reported.

"Excellent," Dekabyte replied. "Miniature golf today. My dog has fleas. Repeat: my dog has fleas."

"Sir!" the binome replied, and the vidwindow popped out. All of the ABC units veered off in the direction of the Principle Office. It had taken awhile, but he had finally taught his servants to speak in code. Due to the intensely painful method of the teaching, he doubted they would ever forget to speak in the code again.

Dekabyte also changed his vector to intersect the Principle Office. As he flew nearer and nearer, he beheld the CPU defense force flying out to cut off his soldiers. The virus smiled.

He had confidence in his troops. Even if they lost, at least lots of people would die. He always took pleasure in that.

Data and Zone had landed in front of the bear's cave, and Dirk was once again on her wrist. Zone had hidden in the bushes just twenty feet from the cave, while Data stood directly in front of it. The User and the small bear had just arrived.

"I've got you this time, Yogi," she snarled.

"Oh, no! The Ranger!" Boo-boo screamed.

The bears began running around in circles again. She was ready for that this time, and had no intention of entering the fray. "Zone, now!"

Zone leaped out from behind the bushes, firing several shots from his gun. Data heard a scream. One of the pair was hit, but which one? Data had to assume it was the other, because the game was not over yet.

"Hey, Boo-boo? You okay?" the User said.

"I don't know, Yogi......uuhhhh..." the little bear said. He slowly got up. Then, the bears began running in circles again. Zone looked at her for direction, but Data was too frustrated to notice.

"To the Web with this!" She lifted up her arm. "Dirk, high-dilation energy blast! Full delete!"

The blast shot out of her keytool, with a dilation of around six feet. She had chosen the wide beam because of the bear's apparent ability to be missed by any standard shot. There was no way he could dodge this one.

"Aha-ha-eee-eeee--uuuaaah!" she heard as the User was blasted into oblivion.

GAME OVER

The energy of the game was dispelled, and Data was left, same as normal, with Dirk pointed at a sign for "Dr. Binome's six-step cure for Energy Addiction". Zone was kneeling on the ground in his standard lab uniform, his hands clutched around a shotgun that was no longer there.

"Nice work," Zone said tersely.

"That bear gets on my nerves," Data retorted.

Just then, Dirk beeped. Data activated the message control. It was Phong.

"The Principle Office is under attack!" Phong exclaimed.

"We'll be there as soon as we can, Phong. We're in Zero City right now. It'll take us a few nanos to get back." Data deactivated the comm, then threw her zipboard out on the ground.

"Trouble?" Zone asked.

"You bet."

The Matrixes zoomed off towards Prime City.

Dekabyte was using his energy-absorption powers to drain the shields of the Principle Office and allow his soldiers access. He had almost reached his limit, but he guessed that a few more blasts from the ABCs would decimate the defensive screens.

He activated the vidwindow.

"The cheese is old and moldy!" shouted the virus, and the infected troops resumed the attack on the shields.

"Hold it, Dekabyte!" The virus whipped around to see Zone Matrix confronting him on a zipboard. Dekabyte whipped out a tendril, snagging Zone on the right shoulder.

"That won't work, virus. You're too full already." Zone smirked. He placed his hands around the tendril, gripping it.

Dekabyte growled and swung the tendril away, releasing just right so the sprite would fly into the energy shield. Just as he was about to relish the sound of fried Matrix, he heard another voice shout:

"Dirk, energy blast!"

Dekabyte was blown backward. He growled and advanced on the Guardian.

"Dirk, energy--uh oh." The virus heard a beep which he recognized.

"Tut tut. Out of energy, are we?" He wrapped his tentacles around Data, drawing her closer to him. When she was close enough, he disengaged the tentacles and grabbed her with his arms.

"My dear sweet Data, I'm so glad you came to see me! What'll I do with you?" Dekabyte held her at arms length. "Do you like my new ensemble? Dressed to kill, in a manner of speaking. I wore it just for you. What do you think?"

Data smiled sardonically. "I think you didn't want to run into me at all. I think you hoped I would be stuck in the game."

Dekabyte shoved her away. "Then, my sweet, I'm afraid I'll have to....." Dekabyte froze. His programming had jammed. Did he want to infect her or delete her?

He didn't get to decide. Dirk had just enough energy left for one small function.

"Dirk, tendril!"

The tendril shot out of her keytool and latched onto Dekabyte. As it drained the energy from the virus, he muttered, "Ooo. Tingly."

When Dirk was full, Data disattached the tendril and Dekabyte fell, unable to maintain flight. Data swiftly descended to the ground. Dekabyte had regained his feet by this time, not completely drained as the Guardian had hoped.

"That wasn't nice," the virus growled. "First, I'm going to take over the Principle Office, then I'll..." he paused. "...either delete you or infect you, I'll decide that later." He unsheathed his claws and prepared to strike, a monstrous grin on his painted face.

Data likewise assumed battle stance when she heard a loud, "STOP!"

It was Zone. Battered by his fall, but still standing, he approached the combatants.

"You can't take over the Principle Office," he told Dekabyte.

"And who's to stop me? You?!"

"Not me, Dekabyte." Zone stood up to his full height. "It's Tuesday, you see."

"Huh?" The virus was confused.

"You don't know? It's clearly stated---no virus may take over the Principle Office on Tuesday."

"Where does it say that?" Dekabyte asked suspiciously.

"In the 'Big Book of Viruses', of course. I'd show you ours, but it's in the Principle Office, and it is Tuesday, so of course I can't let you come in to see it. But I'm sure you have one back in Lost Angles, maybe you should check."

"Are you sure about this?" he asked Data.

"Yeah," Data answered. "We wouldn't lie about something this serious. I would've told you earlier, but you seemed to be having such a good time, well, I just...."

"Very well. We'll go check." The virus opened up the vidwindow to his troops.

"The kitchen is too hot," he ordered. "Get out of the frying pan."

The ABCs immediately turned around and headed for Lost Angles.

"Sorry about all of the ruckus," Dekabyte said, activating a zipboard that he apparently had on him. "I'll be sure to check next time." He flew off.

Just as Dekabyte had left their line of sight, Data flew into Zone's arms.

"How did you come up with that?" she asked.

"That was one of my standard backup plans. I've had it for minutes. I have a 'Big Book of Viruses' inside the Office for just such an occasion. I wrote it myself, of course. But you'd better get Phong to lower those shields so you can create a portal to Dekabyte's lair---we've still got to plant that thing." Zone kissed her on the forehead.

"Let's go," Data said. Just imagine!! Twelve whole hours without viral attacks---assuming it worked, naturally.

"So what else is in that book, Zone?" Data asked later, while they were enjoying a meal at Al's Diner.

"Lots of stupid things I made up in a few milliseconds." Zone took a sip of his energy shake. "They could be useful later on," he added.

Just then little Dot spilled her energy shake all over the table.

"Dot Matrix! What're you doing?!" Data scolded. "I don't know how Mrs. Doubtflame puts up with you."

"Go easy on her, Data," Zone said. "She's only ten minutes old."

"I guess you're right, love," Data conceded. "Hey!" she shouted to Al's waiter. "We need some cleanup over here!"

"Hey, Al," yelled the waiter unhurriedly, "get a mop!"

"What?!"

Data couldn't suppress a laugh.

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