June 11, 2000

OK, please ignore this cheesy template.  I am now working on a friends computer, and I don't have the software I usually work with.  Hmm, but then again I think I am starting to actually like this one--what do you think?

Also, I apologize for being so late with these updates.  Life has a way of sneaking up on you, sometimes.

So, I am sure you all are wondering whether I have kept my quit or not.  Well, to keep it short: no.  About a month and a half ago, I completely blew it and went back to smoking full time.  Was it worth it?  No.  So I am basically back to where I started.  I am now preparing to quit again.  Arrrgh.  This is so depressing.  I wish there was a way I could describe to those of you who have never dealt with an addiction how difficut this really is.  Just don't smoke right??  Well, if only it were that simple.

It is as if your mind is a traitor--constantly trying every possible way to get you to smoke.  You are your own enemy.   Every excuse seems possible and rational.  It also doesn't help that it seems like everyone else in the world is smoking and enjoying it too!

So what am I going to do for this quit?  Well it looks like it will be cold turkey for me.  I know the reasons I want to quit.  I have come up with countless strategies.  So now, I just have to do the WORK.  That's the hard part. 

So, tommorow I start on Day 1.  Wish me luck.  And good luck to all of you out there who are quitting also.  Also, thank you to those of you who have taken the time to write messages--I have not had a chance to answer them, but I just wanted to say thank you and good luck!

I think I will be using this silly template from now on, it's kinda grown on me.  If you look at the "smiley face" at the top of the page, it can tell you what kind of a mood I was in.  And I think I will use this space for a quote or something.  I don't know yet :)

What's your opinion? 

Previous               Next