| from annoyance to amusement 11.12.02 |
| I am not openly vocal about this, but I'll tell you here. People annoy me easily. If I am in an impatient mood, any and every little thing will touch the heart of my annoyance and grow into something that I will shake my head at and rant about if given the opportunity...but only to myself. When I really step back and take a look at my thoughts, it's really funny what kind of things annoy me. I have to laugh at myself, just like someone else would laugh and me and tell me I was silly if I voiced my annoyances. Plus, I am sure there are many things about me that annoy people, yet others are just more patient and tolerant about things than I am. I've noticed that here in SP, I still do get annoyed at the little things, yet the bigger things that would otherwise really effect my mood are seen with different eyes. I still have so far to go with having patience with people and just being less uptight about things. It's not so much that these actions are necessarily annoying to everyone else...it's just the kind of person I am, and I something I would like to change. But I have seen improvements, like I said above, in the larger events that could really upset people. For example, two storms that I was caught in. In attempts to stay dry, I would roll up the hem of my pants or step carefully...however, I always seemed to step into hidden puddles, sinking down and soaking my jeans up to my calves. It never seems to matter how great my efforts are to avoid being soaked. It is inevitable. And like today, I was on my way to work, so it's not like I could look forward to going home and changing into dry clothes. But the only thing I can do is look at it in a positive light. See it as an adventure and laugh at it. I'm soaked and have to go to work, yet I am thankful that I am in Brazil...this is all a part of the experience. Another thing...one of the girls I hang out with a lot has this interesting habit of not hearing what I say. She's a bad listener. I noticed this early on and thought, maybe she has a hearing problem. That is why she must be interrupting people all the time or just pretending like she can't hear me. When I talk, she will look around and totally ignore me or sometimes she will respond with a nod and a half-distracted "mm-hhmm" a few seconds later. Sometimes it annoyed me but I thought, well, I'm not going to let it bother me. Last night, though, it happened again and was so obvious! She mentioned something and I was responding...and as I started talking (and I was just sitting across the table from her), she just kept eating and looking around at the people and things around us, TOTALLY ignoring what I was saying. And I thought I was talking loud enough...maybe she can't bear my Portuguese but I don't think it is that because if I were to bring up a certain someone that she is interested in, she'd be all ears, whether I'm speaking Chinese, Portuguese, or Slovenian! I don't know WHAT it is but I was thinking, this is amazing! It just seems so rude that I cannot imagine her doing it on purpose. I am absolutely fascinated by her actions and obviously it is not a one-time deal because in the four months that we've been hanging out, it is something I noticed early on. Maybe because I hang out with her so much that I know I need to just put up with it...but also, I know that if I let it bother me, feelings of hostility would begin to show and I don't want that to happen. She has done a lot for me here and really has done a lot to make me feel at home in SP. So instead, I choose to be amused by it and just look at it through the eyes of fascination that someone can be like that. I don't think she does it with just me either...I think there is only one person she would be completely attentive to, but everyone else gets the 50% concentration deal or in last night's case, 0%. I pray, oh God, give me an attitude that doesn't grumble, doesn't lose my patience or become annoyed with people. Help me to see things in a positive light. Turn annoyance into amusement. There's no sense to get upset so I might as well make the most of it and enjoy it. |
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