| your feet, please 10.31.02 |
| ��our love to God will be measured by our everyday fellowship with me and the love it displays. How solemn that our love to God will be found to be a delusion, except as its truth is proved in standing the test of daily life with our fellow-men. It is even so with our humility. It is easy to think we humble ourselves before God. Yet, humility toward men will be the only sufficient proof that our humility before God is real. It will be the only proof that humility has taken up its abode in us, and become our very nature�that we actually, like Christ, have made ourselves of no reputation. �The only humility that is really ours is not that which we try to show before God I prayer, but that which we carry with us, and carry out, in our ordinary conduct. The insignificances of daily life are the importances and the tests of eternity because they prove what spirit really possesses us. It is in our most unguarded moments that we really show and see what we are.� (Humility, Andrew Murray) I never realized that this was something that was so lacking in my life until I came here. God has been teaching me many lessons through out this whole trip. I could think of three specific ones that have been woven through this trip, from the time that I committed to coming to SP to today. I shouldn�t be surprised that when God wants me to learn something, He brings it up over and over until I get it in my head that it something I really need to deal with. Humility is one of these lessons. One of the ways God has been demonstrating this to me is in my interactions with people. Like in this entry about being annoyed with how people kind of make a spectacle out of me�being the little American girl they need to take care or being the little American girl that they like to teach new things and then tell everyone else about�it is so hard to be patient and humble about it. I know that they mean well and maybe they don�t know how else to react, but I can�t hold it against them. Another way is in the English lessons with one of the pastors here. It frustrates me that although he really wants to learn English, he doesn�t seem to be very committed to the lessons. Many times I will go to his office at our designated time and he would have forgotten that we had lessons, so he asks if I can go back an hour later. Me, being a certain type of worker, likes to be prepared for these kind of things. I need to be in a certain mindset to work for awhile and then take a break and I like to do things in chunks of time. I don�t know if I�m making sense. Also during lessons, he gets phone calls that cut into our designated hour and he doesn�t seem to be sensitive to that. I know part of this comes with the laidback mindset of �Cariocas� (natives of Rio de Janeiro) and I�m more of a Paulistana (native of SP), who pride themselves in a more busy, on-the-go kind of attitude. We just have different expectations of the lessons�and have different work attitudes. However, the thing I need to remember is that my time is not so important that I can ONLY spare a certain in the hour of the day. It is merely my personality that likes defined schedules and work best in that way. In my devotions recently, God reminded me that to love Him is to serve His people�and obviously, this means even doing menial tasks�or large ones�and not expecting any recognition or praise out of it. In BSF we are studying John and there are so many examples of how Jesus served people. When He was weary and needed to rest, He still made time for the people because He saw them as sheep without a shepherd. His compassion for them and His desire to satisfy their spiritual hunger surpassed His own needs. He is God�s Son and did not deserve the treatment that He got on earth�He could have instantly shown really how powerful He was�but He didn�t. His humility was a result of His relationship with His Father�because He knew that God�s work for Him on earth was to be done in humility. As I return to the States, there is another test of humility. I know it is easy for people to come back feeling like they deserve a huge welcome and a lot of attention from their church, family and friends. But the reality is that this probably won�t happen. People won�t understand what you went through, what you experienced...and they won�t really know how to approach you about your trip. And with this lack of attention, it�s easy to think, �man, these people are so ignorant, unlike me, the cultured one.� Unfortunately, this attitude quickly alienates you from everyone else, including your church who may soon feel like you are constantly comparing them to your fellowship and spiritual environment on the mission field. I really hope I do not adopt this attitude and know that again, humility is key�where if no one asks me about my trip, I can still ask them about how they are doing, if anything is new in their lives, etc. And I cannot be offended or bitter about the lack of attention. Also, my role as a Christian in the church is not elevated simply because I went away for a missions trip. I need to be ready to serve in whatever roles are needed to fill�even the lowly ones. ��just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.� (Matthew 20:28) |
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