| all the children of the world 09.16.02 |
| It's interesting how we can fool ourselves into thinking that race really doesn't matter to us, and then when our environment changes, we realize that it DOES make a difference, although we are still fooling ourselves. Confused yet? So am I. I'll try to clarify. When I lived in SF (the site of many of my "A-ha" moments), I loved being among other cultures. I liked the mixture of cultures in my capoeira group and sometimes felt more comfy there than with a bunch of just Chinese people. Among my Chinese friends, I didn't feel like I related to the "typical" Chinese family, where the parents put a lot of pressure on their schoolwork and wanted them to be a certain way. My parents were "go where the wind takes you" type of people and celebrated our individuality, even if it meant being frowned upon by their Typical Asian Friends. A friend from church and I would joke about feeling at home in the Mission District of SF where you could buy lunch from the neighborhood taco stand or some desserts from the panaderia. I rolled my eyes at the idea of a Typical Asian Party (not like I was ever invited to any, but I went to a few of those Asian Dances from high school) where you blast hip-hop and watch Asians try to dance. Even when I went to a club for Asian night, I felt amusingly out of place. I'm more about the Latino nights mixed in with some hip-hop to relieve your aching knees from all the salsa and merengue. But here in Brazil, the tables have turned. When I see Chinese people, I lean in closer hoping to hear Cantonese pouring out of their mouths. When I go to a Chinese restaurant, I feel at ease with the familiar dishes on the menu...and I don't even like Chinese food THAT much. I know what things are supposed to smell like. It's not like I DON'T feel comfortable with the Brazilians who, among themselves, are also a mixture of cultures, mostly of European descent. In fact, I fit right in since there are many Asians here as well. But it is just the idea that I am in BRAZIL which makes me look twice at Asians and think, "Are they as perceptive of my presence as I am of theirs?" It is like SF where there are all different races, but I guess the difference here is that I don't expect to see many others here, although I had the prior knowledge that S�o Paulo is home to the largest Japanese community outside of Japan. When I met C., it was cool because I thought, hey, a Korean-Brazilian...an Asian! We thought it was cool that we were the same age, we were both Asian, we both knew what it was like to live away from home. But really, the whole race thing makes no difference except that we can talk about Asian foods. We both love tapioca drinks...but they don't have it here. She tried it when she was in Montreal and that has nothing to with either of our "races." She has friends who love chicken feet and we were able to laugh about that (because I LOVE it). But she only knows about that from visiting LA. It is weird talking to her about California because she has visited enough where she can talk about it almost like an American can...so I feel like I'm talking to a fellow American. But just thinking that confuses me because how do you describe the feeling of talking to an American? And it's not like we can relate really as Asians because 1). she's Korean, I'm Chinese, and I know nothing of Korean culture...I hardly even know what the food is like! 2). Although we're both Asian, I don't know how "Brazilianized" her family is, because mine sure is more American than Chinese, so even the Asian ties would have no strong argument. Anyway, I don't know where I am going with this. It is just an interesting world out there, and I love how all the races and cultures just make it even more interesting and more rich. Red and yellow, black and white, we'e all precious in His sight! |
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