| i would walk a thousand miles... 05.08.02 |
| Okay I'm a little tired of thinking that I have to keep up with this journal. There is a huge difference from when I used to do this at work (see earlier months) and when I moved home (from March on). Not only is my connection much slower, I seem to have lost any ability to think of anything to write about! Mind if I just give you a little insight on what my life is right now? Teaching...such a challenge. Things have gotten better, though, from when I first started. I have been solo teaching in the Twilight program for about three weeks now and I think the class and I are used to one another now. They respect me more as a teacher, but they still give me some problems. I've learned that I really don't like whiny kids and I can't deal with rude ones. I demand that they be polite and say "please" and "thank you." I feel like I'm back at the preschool where I'm constantly prodding, "What do you say?" "How do you ask?" And there are moments where I just want to let them at each other...kick, poke, pull hair, whatever. Do whatever you want. I'm just counting the minutes to go home. But there are other moments where I just look at the kids and I realize how young they really are and how much guidance they need. They spend all this time in schools, with teachers who are committed to helping them...and I'm supposed to be one of those teachers! Am I really doing what I should be doing? Am I really helping them? I've read in some books that the students can really tell which teachers want to be there...and since then, I'm trying to make a conscious effort to show that I really do care about these kids. I think the more they can see that, the more they will listen and respect. I got my plane ticket to Brazil! It cost a lot less than even half of what OCI had originally allotted. Praise God! It's amazing how much I have seen God working through this whole experience, from moving home to preparing for the trip. Every little thing seems to be a gift from Him and even when I have just started to pray for something, it seems like the answer is already on its way. The financial support is slowly coming in. It surprises me who I have gotten responses from...and who hasn't responded. I haven't heard too much from the San Francisco people which surprises me. It's not like I expect them to give me money, but I know that before they left, people were asking for letters, saying they wanted to pray for me. But I haven't even gotten any responses for that, either. My dad says "out of sight, out of mind," but I refuse to believe that. But whatever...everyone has their reasons, and I have been blessed already by many people who have committed to pray for me, even daily. Q is moving out of her place in Daly City at the end of this week and moving back home to Vallejo. I visited her last weekend and it was kind of sad (for me) to think that the next time we wanted to hang out in SF together, we'd both have to make a special trip. It wouldn't be as easy anymore to drive a few minutes away to get tapioca drinks from Linda at Ranch 99 and chicken katsu at the Hawaiian Drive-In or drive into the City for Sonoma burgers and San Juan crepes at Crepevine. For the span of our friendship (since 1999), all we have known is our friendship in the San Francisco setting. Not to say this will change anything, but it's just kind of sad. Exciting that we're moving on, but also sad because we've had so much fun the past few years. I don't really feel like writing anything else right now, but next time, I promise I'll go back to my regular format. I prefer to write with some kind of theme in mind instead of sounding like I'm e-mailing someone. Toodles... |
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