meow, meow

Women's small group, women's book club, women's support group...sometimes it's a little annoying that sticking that little word "women" in front of a group or program adds on a huge connotation. Ahh...a time for women to gossip and share their insecurities. A place for women to just vent and dwell in their sensitivity. Men roll their eyes.

As Dorc puts it, "I am women, hear me meow. Meow, meow."

But maybe that's what we, women, need. Maybe we need a break from this strong facade where we could let down our guards with our sisters and just reveal our weaknesses. It doesn't mean we have to be reduced to blubbering messes. It just means that we're being honest to one another and to ourselves. I read a great quote the other day by Benjamin Disraeli, "Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth."

A women's small group was recently started at my church and the eight of us vary in age and spiritual background. It's a very diverse group and even after only a few meetings, I already feel very comfortable with them and look forward to our discussions each time we meet. It's not about gossiping or doing the man-hating thing. We hardly even discuss men. We're reading through a book titled "Living a Purpose-full Life," geared specifically toward women who are looking to find God's purpose for them in life. Such a huge topic, but the book we're going through is great.

The last chapter we discussed was about any fears or hindrances we face as women in pursuing our purposes. I guess this is a little harder for me to relate to since I believe that women can do anything they want. But for more traditional women, it's hard for them to see themselves pursuing not-so-traditional roles...like aviation or construction. Women are expected to behave a certain way, to be feminine, to be a supporter to their male counterparts. Women shouldn't be too outspoken or strong-willed. Whatever.

I thought, there are no fears pertaining to my womanhood that keep me from pursuing God's purpose for me...right? But then Susan, the discussion leader for the night, turned and asked me specifically what MY fears were. Then it hit me...even as little girls, we dream of becoming mothers...wives...the whole storybook scenario of staying at home with the kids while the hubby goes off to work. I want kids...I really do. But what if it wasn't in God's plan for me to go that way..or at least not in the "typical" time frame? What if He called me to full-time missions work and I was in a serious relationship? Would I put God on hold because I was close to getting that storybook family? Or would I tell the guy that my first commitment is to Christ and I want to do as He asks? As I get older, girls all around me are closer and closer to getting married, if not already hitched. Yes, I am still single. No, I'm not even dating. Why does it seem more acceptable for guys to be single than for girls?

Right now, it's easier for me to choose God's will because I'm not attached to anyone. Nothing holds me back from going. But in the future, if someone comes into my life, will I be able to easily give that up? Will I say "sorry Lord, I am a woman who can't give up the dreams of a woman...meow, meow," or will I say, "sorry, fella, I'm a woman after God's heart...hear me ROAR!"