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Even actions between consenting adults on Second Life can have their real world consequences. Just as the physical body does not enter virtual space, so to can �real life� relationships remain firmly anchored outside the space. The ease of connecting with others in contexts from the casual to the sensual can lead to new questions about fidelity. The lines for what is considered to be cheating are hard to draw: according to one poll, �Sending a sexually flirtatious e-mail to a co-worker? Just over half of men � 53 percent � think that�s cheating, as compared with 73 percent of women. Ratchet that up to online talk or �Webcamming,� and the cheating meter ticks up slightly: 57 percent of men think that�s a no-no, while 77 percent of women do� (Kalning). The same question has been posed by Janet Murray in Hamlet on the Holodeck, but Murray's discussion takes into account future developments in technology: sure, current technology might only allow for a virtual world affair to consist of animated pre-programmed "sex" and dialogue through a text box, but if technological progression leads towards the Star Trek esque holodeck, at what level of "realism" in the virtual does it become genuine infidelity? As Murray posits: �Do we believe that kissing a hologram (or engaging in cybersex) is an act of infidelity to a flesh and blood partner? If we could someday make holographic adventures�would the power of such a vividly realized fantasy world destroy our grip on the actual world? Will the increasingly alluring narratives spun out for us by the new digital technologies be as benign and responsible as a nineteenth century novel or as dangerous and debilitating as a hallucinogenic drug?� (Murray 17) Those connected to the world of virtual love can experience the terrain very differently then those outside of it. This can be a particular barrier in relationships as a lover can fear the loss of a lover to the intoxicating drug that Murray posits�and that fear has not gone unrealized. But the role that virtual desire plays in a person�s life can play a supplement to reality rather than running interference: �To the outside partner, the internet teems with sirens singing unsuspecting lovers to their doom. To the inside partner, the internet fills those missing places they never thought to fill -- in large part because the imagination has to work harder than the body to achieve sexual connection in this medium, and the resulting sexual connection can be very, very strong� (Lynn 3-D). However, the need to fill a gap can indicate the existence of too strong a divide in the real relationship. Just as World of Warcraft and Everquest produce gaming addicts and shatter connections to the real world under certain conditions, a virtual connection can have a reality that threatens the previously �real.� Online periodicals report tales of marriages destroyed and fights over one partner�s obsessive connection to a virtual paramour: �Part of our wariness about internet-enabled sex is well-founded: We've seen too many relationships destroyed because one partner plunged into a period of all-consuming online life while the other looked on, feeling neglected and rejected� (Lynn 3-D). Perhaps these tales of woe are most revealing in the simple comparison to �real� relationships: both have their risks, and their rewards. The virtual offers fantasies filled with unicorns and women and men who fit the mold of idealism taken to the digital level of perfection. But like the real experience of fantasy, nothing is truly �perfect.� The fantasy world can be as dizzying as a first glimpse of a beautiful exotic dancer: under the lights of the stage, she can seem like perfection. She�ll be charming, persuasive, and the cost of a bit of currency will seem like nothing more than she is worth. Encounter her outside the setting, and the fantasy is shattered with the reality of humanity.
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